Subject: Orc recruitment.
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Posted on: 2013-02-27 20:52:00 UTC

Not an easy task. You have to entice their leader, through gifts and massages and promises. It can feel like running an election campaign, but the effort is worth it. I accidentally made my bid, when I helped the orc chieftain's son when he ate too many chillies, giving him a stomachache.

Soon, they send the rest of their sick to me, and I helped them a bit with their bruises, headaches, and parasites (ewwww!) I made them boil their water before drinking it, made them take bathes with cheap soaps, show them a few videos on knitting, and a few years later, the chieftain begins to call me Dark Lord. They already knew knitting from their previous lord, by the way, just that they are able to make more variations, thanks to the videos I showed them.

On the colours, we choose randomly, but you can set your colours. We are running low on red, green and yellow dyes, so shipments of these are being called. Expect new ones by the next week.

Green and orange tartan? We had a few lying around, didn't know there's a demand for that. Put up your portal to my lair, and my orc will hand it over to you directly.

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