[Malay is a race in the real world. Predominantly in Malaysia. Some tribes in Sabah bind their allegiance to this race too, mine included.]

A few shovels, wheelbarrows, dusters, large bottles, and gunny sacks will be with my orcs, with may need to be more than two. Didn't know how thick is the glitter, nor the size of the room. Better safe than sorry. Their leaders are GulBrack and Shoppsi. Gulbrack will find the room at the Board, and Shoppsi will go to RC 18. Each of them will bring two orcs with them, so it'll be six. Please guide them safely.

Thanks for your overseeing agents. The orc kids are going to have a joyful afternoon with the mini-Balrogs. Will a ball of spider-silk calm Caradharas? We often use it as a stress-relieving ball, by juggling it. I'm not very good at that, though. It may need to be calmed, as we mostly work underground. Don't worry, we keep our writing in our lockers. So long as the agents don't snoop around, they won't be spooked.

Gladladriel and Kelaborn will be near their RC when giving the hugs. I hope Agent Dawn won't mind. Don't worry about the fanbrats, they'll have no cartoons for the week if they misbehave, Dark Lord's command.

Point your portal to Five meters under this address: No 2.34, Jalan 35 Beruk, Taman Orkid di Bawah Kelapa, 88123, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. 5° 58′ 17.2″ N, 116° 5′ 43.68″ E [Address and coordinates are fictional] We are an underground factory, covering as a normal, one-storey house. Thus we pay license without tax, since we are covered under Small and Medium Industries Act, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!

Oh, and since this is a feast, your agents are also welcome to chow down. Our specialty are rendang, buras, ayam lengkuas, Tenom coffee and pizza. All preparations are in order, let us portal!

[I always assume that Middle-Earth is transformed through the ages into a version of the world today. It is how I understand Tolkien made his world. Hope that isn't too uncanonical.]

[I may lose control over the orcs sometimes. Your story will prove very interesting. Please, make it happen. And, picture my character as near-sighted, since that's what I am in the real world. Stu beginnings? ]

[Malay is a race in the real world. Predominantly in Malaysia. Some tribes in Sabah bind their allegiance to this race too, mine included.]

A few shovels, wheelbarrows, dusters, large bottles, and gunny sacks will be with my orcs, with may need to be more than two. Didn't know how thick is the glitter, nor the size of the room. Better safe than sorry. Their leaders are GulBrack and Shoppsi. Gulbrack will find the room at the Board, and Shoppsi will go to RC 18. They'll bring two orcs with them, so it'll be six. Please guide them safely.

Thanks for your overseeing agents. The orc kids are going to have a joyful afternoon with the mini-Balrogs. Will a ball of spider-silk calm Caradharas? We often use it as a stress-relieving ball, by juggling it. I'm not very good at that, though. It may need to be calmed, as we mostly work underground. Don't worry, we keep our writing in our lockers. So long as the agents don't snoop around, they won't be spooked.

Gladladriel and Kelaborn will be near their RC when giving the hugs. I hope Agent Dawn won't mind. Don't worry about the fanbrats, they'll have no cartoons for the week if they misbehave, Dark Lord's command.

Point your portal to Five meters under this address: No 2.34, Jalan 35 Beruk, Taman Orkid di Bawah Kelapa, 88123, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. 5° 58′ 17.2″ N, 116° 5′ 43.68″ E [Address and coordinates are fictional] We are an underground factory, covering as a normal, one-storey house. Thus we pay license without tax, since we are covered under Small and Medium Industries Act, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!!!

Oh, and since this is a feast, your agents are also welcome to chow down. Our specialty are rendang, buras, ayam lengkuas, Tenom coffee and pizza. All preparations are in order, let us portal!

[I always assume that Middle-Earth is transformed through the ages into a version of the world today. It is how I understand Tolkien made his world. Hope that isn't too uncanonical.]

[I may lose control over the orcs sometimes. Your story will prove very interesting. Please, make it happen. And, picture my character as near-sighted, since that's what I am in the real world. Stu beginnings? ]

...I kind of want to write an interlude (once I have Permission, of course) detailing Agents Dawn, Brenda, and Edgar going to pick up the large order discussed above. They portal into the scene you've just described. Then, the fire-eyed man in armor spots them, and walks over, introducing himself as 'the Dark Lord' (and getting twitches from any agents who have recently faced a particularly bad HP or LotR mission). Two orcs are then dispatched to remove (and bottle) the glitter from...Agent Dawn's RC, I suppose, having it be DawnFire's room at the Board is possibly a bit too meta. Agent Edgar, eager to get this task over with, starts ferrying packages through the portal. Agent Dawn starts talking very quickly about orcs and factories and every single possible reference that comes to her mind, while Agent Brenda pointedly ignores her and supervises the mini-Balrogs as they play with the orc-children. At some point, Edgar finishes with the packages and portals away to find some Bleeprin. Then, Caradharas the mini-Balrog gets a little too exuberant, and an orc-child starts crying. The orcs turn...not-so-friendly, and advance on the minis and Brenda, brandishing different bits of the contents of their belts in a threatening manner. Brenda decides to cut her losses, grabs the minis, and portals away. Some time later, Agent Dawn realizes that she's the only PPC agent left and reluctantly leaves, making plans for her picnic with the mini-Balrogs on their brand-new fireproof tablecloth as she goes...

Well, that's the general idea, anyway.

...yup, it'll probably happen at some point. It'll be the strangest interlude ever. I shall call it...'A Visit to the Dark Lord's Factory'. Or something along those lines.

(I'm getting such weird ideas today. Well, more crazy than weird, I suppose. And they're fortunately less strange than the time my brain wanted there to be a romance between Agent Dawn and DawnFire the Boarder. That was a really weird one.)

I'd say that I'm now off to decrease my sugar intake, but I've barely had any today...go figure.

~DF

Not an easy task. You have to entice their leader, through gifts and massages and promises. It can feel like running an election campaign, but the effort is worth it. I accidentally made my bid, when I helped the orc chieftain's son when he ate too many chillies, giving him a stomachache.

Soon, they send the rest of their sick to me, and I helped them a bit with their bruises, headaches, and parasites (ewwww!) I made them boil their water before drinking it, made them take bathes with cheap soaps, show them a few videos on knitting, and a few years later, the chieftain begins to call me Dark Lord. They already knew knitting from their previous lord, by the way, just that they are able to make more variations, thanks to the videos I showed them.

On the colours, we choose randomly, but you can set your colours. We are running low on red, green and yellow dyes, so shipments of these are being called. Expect new ones by the next week.

Green and orange tartan? We had a few lying around, didn't know there's a demand for that. Put up your portal to my lair, and my orc will hand it over to you directly.