Subject: A bit late of a reply, but great job!
Author:
Posted on: 2015-07-11 15:00:00 UTC
My favorite part has to be Valon as a Dalek, and it was nice to see the whole "EX-TER-MIN-ATE" thing being put to good use. :)
Kinda sad that the TARDIS didn't want Rina, though... I'm sure it'll end up in good hands someday. Here's hoping!
Extraterrestrial
Continua: Mario, Doctor Who
Agents: Valon Vance, Kala Jeng, Rina Dives
We hope you enjoy!
She got her own Sexy! :D
And she got her own TARDIS? HOW CAN ANYONE CREATE THIS MADNESS?|>
The interactions of Rina and Valon were particularly enjoyable. And that fic... *shudders* One thing: The author notes dividing the bulk of the story from the TARDIS followup threw me off. I wasn't sure for a moment if the story ended there or somehow went on to another mission. I read this on my phone, though, so it might have just messed up and changed the order somehow. On the whole, fun and enjoyable mission!
My favorite part has to be Valon as a Dalek, and it was nice to see the whole "EX-TER-MIN-ATE" thing being put to good use. :)
Kinda sad that the TARDIS didn't want Rina, though... I'm sure it'll end up in good hands someday. Here's hoping!
And you can't give your characters everything. Honestly, it's probably for the best. I'd hate to see what would happen if Rina got her hands on a real TARDIS... :)
It'll involve Gallifrey. And probably Rina being hella cute. Because Rina is just generally hella cute even when she's acting up.
Seriously, what the heck was that thing? At least Valon (temporarily) got a TARDIS out of it :)
One question: Is the part where Valon meets that TARDIS supposed to be like an end-credits scene? The way the author's note was placed gave me that impression. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
But I wonder how Valon got the power of knowing when Kala understands him.
The girtablilu took a bit to figure out what he was getting at. When she understood, though, he smiled.
Or it is a typo and you meant "she smiled".
Krautpicking:
1) I’ve never heard a German use "Blut" in swearing; this is probably a bloody Yankees’ habit.
"Scheiße! We forgot the TARDIS!” would work better.
2) We have the weird habit of capitalizing all nouns, not just proper nouns. If Valon has a good reason to swear by shit and blood, "Blut" should be capitalized.
3) I feel that "Blut und Scheiße" sounds better, although still weird. I have no rational explanation for this, it’s either "put the longer word at the end", or "progress from unpleasant to repugnant", maybe both.
HG
Ya learn something new every day.
I'll go ahead and recapitalize, though the current order rolls off the tongue more easily. To me, anyway.
I'll leave the other thing to Voyd; it could just be Valon mangling the German language, I dunno. ^^;
Thanks again!
I really enjoyed this mission. Valon's choice of disguise was hilarious, and it's cool to see Rina getting into being the Aviator a little more.
What the post was supposed to say was:
First Latin, now Spanish. The missions are becoming multilingual, it seems. Speaking of which: DawnFire, I believe that you had brought up an idea for a thread not too long ago. Still interested in starting such a thread?
I'd prefer to do it when I'll have the time to actually participate in it, though, which means not tomorrow--I've got all manner of birthday celebrations to go to, and I don't expect to be on much, if at all. I'll happily get it going on Monday, though!
Thanks for the reminder and the interest; I'd actually forgotten I mentioned that, and knowing for a fact that someone else is interested is always great.
~DF
Wow. This must be a PPC first: a badfic so short that the mission is able to quote the entire thing! So much fail with so few words…wow.
But there seems to be an error on your end as well.
"And why would she contact Davros, leaving aside the whole ‘complete different flarking universe’ problem? I just… no. No tienes razón."
Is Valon speaking to one of the badfic characters? As written, he said "You're not right."
With my limited Spanish, I would consider correcting it to no tiene razón, but even though it correctly translates "he isn't right" in the sense "he's wrong" I don't know if it is appropriate for "this isn't right" in the sense you want, i.e., "this makes no sense" or "something's screwy here."
If there are any Spanish speakers aBoard, please help.
(Where's Herr Wozzeck when you need him?)
Their second mission (NSFW/B) covered a fic that was even shorter and even more chock-full of fail and stupid.
And this is why I no longer go fanfic-hunting at three in the morning. You find too much weird stuff.
I remember that phrase from Spanish class back in high school.
And hey, there's always Edhelistar. He's a native Spanish-speaker.
"No tienes razón." usually is used as "You're wrong," but can also be used as meaning "You're insane," in the sense of "You're not right," yes. Although the sentence isn't used as commonly as the affirmative, is technically correct.
But probably not in the sense that Voyd wants it to use it. I haven't corrected it, because I haven't found a way to correct it, that, uh, sounds right. XD
Because well, while "No estás bien," and "Estás mal," are more grammatically correct in that sense, they don't sound very hammy, and are quite boring. Or you could not speak to the fic at all and use "Esto no está bien," (This isn't right) instead.
Valon's last choice of disguise was pretty fun, too--I'd been thinking about that for a bit, and it was fun to see on screen. I'm still wondering which of my agents could potentially try it out...
...yeah, I'll keep thinking.
But yeah. Very fun. Good job, both of you!
~DF