Subject: Not bad...
Author:
Posted on: 2015-05-25 02:01:00 UTC

This is a pretty good mission. Just like with your Five Nights collab mission, you did well in ensuring that someone who does not know the canon (e.g., yours truly) can follow the mission and understand what went wrong. And I'm getting intrigued as to what's going to happen to Rashida.

Of course, there are a few errors in the mission:

“So, Suta was part of Gonza’s pack?” asked Rashida, ducking just as Falchion buzzed her.
“Wait, who’s pack?” the giant pterosaur asked,

That should read, "whose pack".

“According to the words, its supposed to be Heart who blushed faintly and picked up his sleeping son in his arms, and not Umasou,” said Ripper.
"words" should be capitalized.

And regarding the Word Cyclone: Word Cyclones occur when there are run-on sentences, not when there is a lack of paragraph breaks. You might want to do something else with that scene, especially since that Cyclone is only used to lead to the mission.

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