Not bad... by
son_of_heaven176
on 2015-05-25 02:01:00 UTC
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This is a pretty good mission. Just like with your Five Nights collab mission, you did well in ensuring that someone who does not know the canon (e.g., yours truly) can follow the mission and understand what went wrong. And I'm getting intrigued as to what's going to happen to Rashida.
Of course, there are a few errors in the mission:
“So, Suta was part of Gonza’s pack?” asked Rashida, ducking just as Falchion buzzed her.
“Wait, who’s pack?” the giant pterosaur asked,
That should read, "whose pack".
“According to the words, its supposed to be Heart who blushed faintly and picked up his sleeping son in his arms, and not Umasou,” said Ripper.
"words" should be capitalized.
And regarding the Word Cyclone: Word Cyclones occur when there are run-on sentences, not when there is a lack of paragraph breaks. You might want to do something else with that scene, especially since that Cyclone is only used to lead to the mission.
*high-fives* by
eatpraylove
on 2015-05-24 20:45:00 UTC
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Nice work, buddy. Glad we got through this with our sanity intact. May you keep it through the hassle of juggling...oh, gosh, five RCs' worth of agents now, is it?
I hope you don't mind me asking this by
Matt Cipher
on 2015-05-24 18:54:00 UTC
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but how do you write text over links here? Sorry, I know it's completely offtop, but I sometimes can really be clueless when it comes to the Internet stuff.
Hm... by
Voyd
on 2015-05-24 18:49:00 UTC
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Someone's talking about you, Rashida.
Yes, Skarmory and I planned that one. It's a minor thing, but it's something. That was almost English.