Subject: Error
Author:
Posted on: 2015-05-10 12:41:00 UTC
For some reason when I try to read it Google docs says I am not able to open it with my account.
Subject: Error
Author:
Posted on: 2015-05-10 12:41:00 UTC
For some reason when I try to read it Google docs says I am not able to open it with my account.
It's done! Glorious freedom, it's done!
Involved continua: Five Nights at Freddy's, Godzilla
Agents used: Valon Vance, Kala Jeng, Falchion, Rashida Mafdetiti, Velociripper
Length: Bloody long by Voyd's standards, average by SkarmorySilver's
Our thanks to firemagic, Edhelistar and Darkotas for beta-reading!
The comments after the animatronics' CAD readings were hilarious, especially Foxy's and OOC!Freddy's. (I'm still never ever playing the games. I don't do horror, and I don't do possessed killer animatronics.)
Oh, two minor things...
"...Also, ow, my, kidneys.”"
That comma after "my" doesn't belong there.
"Valon popped his elbows back into place before pointing his C-CAD at Foxy."
Uh...is this possible? I don't think Valon would be able to do that himself if both elbows got dislocated.
The comma there was intentional. Valon tends to speak Sparta-style when he's hurt.
As for the elbows bit, I imagined it more like cracking his knuckles/neck (which I do a lot, actually... I have chiropractic problems).
Something I make an effort to do in most of my missions is to highlight the good parts of the PPC. A lot of missions nowadays seem to run with the assumption that the PPC is 100% horrible, which kinda rubs me the wrong way.
Thus, the various little moments with Valon and Kala. Whether it's the camaraderie and friendship between the two, the trust they build with others, or the gratitude of canon characters, I go out of my way to remind people that yes, there are parts of the job that aren't going to traumatize you.
... am I reconstructing the premise of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum?
And Voyd, I have a question...
Are you planning another FNAF mission? I saw those descriptions of Valon, and now I'm curious. :)
It's one of those things where I have ideas, but I haven't found the right fic for them. After all, I do want to show more mini-animatronics.
Also on the list, a least for Valon: acrophobia, curiosity-fueled genderbending, songfic hijacking, more gratitude from canon characters.
For some reason when I try to read it Google docs says I am not able to open it with my account.
Good job on the mission! Like I mentioned, I don't actually know either of the canons, though I have been looking up FNaF. It seems interesting, but I'm kind of wuss when it comes to horror stuff. You did a good job making both halves of the crossover comprehensible to an outsider.
As an AoT fan, I have to ask - what was the context for the reference to Eren? Was it intentional on the part of the Suethor, or just the result of a typo?
I do have two minor criticisms. First, there are quite a few unattributed lines of dialogue, which can get a little hard to follow with as many characters as there are. Second, it seemed a little heavy on references to past missions. They made sense from an in-universe perspective, so I'm not sure if my criticism is exactly fair, but I felt like they slowed the story down a bit. Other than those things, I thought it was really good.
Apparently, there was an arcade machine in there that had a supercharged Eren on it.
Never mind the fact that Five Nights 1 takes place in the '90s... grumble grumble.
I have the same feelings about FNaF as you do.
screw jumpscares.