Subject: "Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure the boy..."
Author:
Posted on: 2015-04-23 19:26:00 UTC
"was called Harry. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold."
Don't have the book in front of me, so I apologize if the quote ain't 100% accurate.
So, yeah... I saw THIS thing in the Pit
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11103830/1/The-Way-The-World-Works
Just the summary itself was like a warning, but the first chapter was enough to confirm the badfic. Ready your sporks, lads! It's ploughing time!
Uh. OK. Hm.
Y'know, I'm sure we could arrange a meeting with a real balor. That might be educational for 'Rowan'.
(Also, nine? Really? I think my IQ dropped just from reading this thing.)
Although, I was thinking about gathering all the gold from his inheritance and crushing him with it :3
In Spaniah that wouldn't be a problem, because there the months aren't capitalized... But September is my birthday month! HOW COULD THE STORY RUIN IT?
I'm just ranting over this little detail so I won't take five minutes ranting over how dull the first paragraph was and everything else.
before wanting to gouge my eyes out with a dull toothpick. I would take on that mess though, especially if no one else calls it. Obviously assuming I get permission.
This isn't Harry Potter.
It's Light Yagami.
I'm reading chapter 2, and all I can think is "Isn't this what Light spent the entire first volume monologuing about?"
... of course I dare, I'm a bleeding idiot. USE YOUR WEAPONS, THEY ARE DESIGNED TO INFLICT DAMAGE!
*reads the first chapter*
OUR WEAPONS ARE USELESS, RELIANCE UPON THEM IS DEATH!
Do we have a division armed with tactical nukes? It might just be enough to kill this ... Thing
Also: overpowered weapons is not how the PPC does business. Yes, we could destroy every badfic from orbit if we wanted, we have the technology - but that's not how we operate. Makes too much mess. ;)
(I have Opinions about this. If I thought it'd fly, I'd write the Board of Flowers banning the taking of anything into missions other than clothes, CADs, RAs, and a pen and paper. Fortunately I'm not silly enough to think I could. ;))
hS
You want me to do my job, no?
It's an awesome bit. I also really like this narrative that keeps popping up of Gremlin and Gall hitting it off and being a couple of crude, fun-loving troublemakers. I am totally behind the idea of that being canon.
I'm very tempted to suggest making this canon of some sort, unless there are objections. It's very amusing.
Also, well done linking the two ficlets! It's a nice touch, and it's cool to have an explanation for the DOGA misfile.
~DF
(Totally up for this being a canon event, for the record, by way of an RP or otherwise.)
hS
The day the Flowers (or at least the Morning Glory) tried to keep agents from using weapons in missions and there was a riot. Who says all the cool stuff that happens around here needs to be catastrophic in nature?
A riot with weapons...That could get catastrophic, depending on your definition of catastrophe.
... can I get your email? I have news of Operation: Sherbet Rain.
hS
iximaz (at) gmail (dot) com
*rubs hands together*
Or would the agents be expected to improvise? Because call me silly, but I think agents familiar with their weapons would do a better job (in theory) than agents who are constantly having to learn new tricks.
I'd quite like to nuke certain fics. If they're in the Harry Potter continuum and there's so much as ONE geographical aberration, then you can always nick something from Trident.
This, for them as don't know, is the British submarine-based nuclear deterrent. It's generally based in Scotland, and I'm sure a sufficiently motivated agent team could portal onto a ballistic submarine and make good on their threats of nuclear annihilation. Of course, since they might not know how to operate a nuclear submarine, there's potential for comedy there as well, in a kind of "What does this button do?" style. =]
From a purely external viewpoint, it would be much more interesting to force them to improvise or scrounge up the kit they need. "Do you think Legolas will notice if I 'borrow' his bow?" is much more fun than "I'll just reach into my personal arsenal and grab a bazooka."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna do it.
hS
I was just trying to point out why that wouldn't work. Though I guess I can see why it would seem like I was getting defensive. *cuddles longbow to her chest*
No-one will have toys! The toys are MINE!
(Is it still letting power go to your head when you don't have power? ^_^)
hS
I'm not quite sure how that works, either, but it does keep happening, doesn't it?
~Neshomeh, adding toys to the pile on the sly and watching them get popular since 2003.
Even my original story hasn't been able to hold my interest as much as the PPC. Which is a bit sad, because if I ever become published I'll anonymously do missions in my old continuum.
...actually, that would be really weird if I did that...
Even my original story hasn't been able to hold my interest as much as the PPC. Which is a bit sad, because if I ever become published I'll anonymously do missions in my own continuum.
...actually, that would be really weird if I did that...
That would set up some very satisfying disproportionate retribution.
*snatches the weapons away and scuttles off, muttering about the Preciouses*
So I'll modify my previous statement: while outlawing all equipment, I will also outlaw Not Being The Best Writer Ever. There can be no excuses; violations of Our Imperial Commandments will be met with extreme telling-off, followed by death, followed by 'I told you so'.
hS
There's nothing common sense about nukes, nor anything particularly entertaining, either. Which I think was the original point hS was trying to make.
(And anyway, it's been done, so it ain't even original.)
~Neshomeh
Just weapons in general, and hS did say he'd like to see what would happen if all weapons were banned, not just nukes. And while big kabooms are fun in Mythbusters, they're not as much fun unless it's DOGA. (Of course, there are always exceptions.)
It still doesn't make sense from an in-universe standpoint. Which would kill the humor when you wonder why the agents aren't given the means to do the best job possible?
(Please ignore the Useless Directions they give to newbies. Point 'em at a Sue and let them at it.)
Balor was a one-eyed giant from Irish mythology. His "Evil Eye" was known to cause droughts and overall havoc, when opened.
I don't know much about HP, but even I know "Harrison James Potter" should take a false name based on an anagram like "I am John Peter Starros."
...the author had deliberately changed it to Harrison just so Harry could do the "I am" anagram.
Grief, the Potters sucked at naming. ^_~
hS
"was called Harry. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold."
Don't have the book in front of me, so I apologize if the quote ain't 100% accurate.
I'm not going near this thing again with a fifty-parsec pole. Someone else can mission it.
*throws a tantrum before leaving*
"Harry only smiled at Hagrid and pretended he didn't want to smash his skull in. He had long ago decided he was going to wait a few years until he started killing."
WHAT IS THIS WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS ACCEPTABLE AUTHOR WHAT
And to think I was annoyed before at Hagrid calling him 'Arry, when it's Mundungus who does that.
~DF
I think we need Bleeptea. Where's Des when you need him?
~DF
He's been radio silent all day.
*hugs Dawn* There, there... Want some Cinnamon Bleep Crunch? My newest invention :3
I didn't even make it to the end of the first chapter, but that is horrific!
*dives under a table and stays there, shuddering*
I think you'd better check that cupboard under the stairs... you'll find a plot hole and a very confused nine-year-old kid.
I don't know yet; the school' wifi blocks the Pit. I suppose I will come back with a judgement call later in the day. >:)
We may use it as my agent's training mission! :D
It was a very tame reaction, really...
Hugging my stuffed animal and trying to convince myself that if I don't look at it, I can pretend it doesn't exist. *sobs*
*walks over to Iximaz and offers her a chocolate chip cookie*
Ugh, the only time it starts getting real dialogue is when it catches up to when the canon events start. It's copied almost word-for-word from the movies.
Why am I still reading this it's horrible why why why
*hands Ixi a torch and a pitchfork* Really helpful, Gaston approves :)