[Crap] happens, yeah? by
Calista
on 2015-04-12 20:58:00 UTC
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Best thing to do with meltdowns/shutdowns/rage-attacks/whatever, is not fear them. They happen, it sucks, it probably ruins her day, but that's life. It's kind of like dealing with seizures--you just give her space, make sure no one's hurt, and afterward let her recover and get some rest.
Personally, I get shutdown type things more often. When I was younger it used to be worse, but nowadays, I just kind of lose it, freeze, can't think or talk or do much of anything, and may or may not be crying uncontrollably, but at least I'm not banging my head on things or hitting anything that gets near me. It still sucks, but at least I don't have to count bruises after I get hold of myself.
Lately I've been realizing that sometimes I don't leave the apartment to do things I need to do because I'm afraid I'll get overstimulated and have a shutdown in public. I have to fight that, because otherwise the fear of having them will stop me from doing things I'm perfectly capable of doing. It's much better to plan for the possibility, reduce the chances they'll happen, go out with as much energy and focus as possible, and take your chances. Otherwise you risk being stuck at home when 95% of the time things would go just fine if you went out.
I know how it is for her. by
Silenthunder
on 2015-04-12 14:35:00 UTC
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See, the thing with Aspergers is that we see everything in black-and-white when it comes to daily life. It's either this way or that way, no in-between. We really do want to express our feelings and make friends, we just don't know how. We live by a schedule which must be concrete, and if it's messed up the whole world falls down. When we believe something, it will be absolute unless something comes to change it, which we don't accept very well. Change is forbidden to our minds. When we don't understand, we flee the problem, not wanting to deal with the gray area. We deny constantly what the world presents, and we fight, thinking we are winning only to lose again, and weep over how confusing everything is.
That's a summary of how Aspergers people deal with some of the world. A very general summary, but it rings true for most people with this case. I thought you'd like to know.