Subject: Too slow!
Author:
Posted on: 2015-03-28 03:19:00 UTC
*takes Neshomeh, runs up the wall and phases with her through the ceiling* See ya Ma'am! *runs back into the lair*
Subject: Too slow!
Author:
Posted on: 2015-03-28 03:19:00 UTC
*takes Neshomeh, runs up the wall and phases with her through the ceiling* See ya Ma'am! *runs back into the lair*
Two sons and two fathers went to a lake to fish. They each caught one fish each, but there were only three fish in total. How is this possible?
When they should be using them to solve tests. What a waste. Science is more important.
(Yes, this is actual Dragon tongue from Skyrim.)
is "GAAN LAH HAAS" and "FUS RO DAH". Also canonically, you should not be able to use "Drain Vitality", the first one. Ladies and gentlemen of the Vahlokke do Mein-Tiid-Ven, Protectors of the Plot-Continuum, we may have an AL-DU-IN Replacement Stu.
*dies Skyrim-style due to break in canon that he is so embarrassed about*
... to call him, so he could come finish off the Replacement himself.
Yup, in Elder Scrolls Canon, you shout the name of a dragon to make him/her/it/whatever come, for a dragon feels it like a challege and a dragon cannot resist a challege.
*Proceeds to fill the now-mute-and-deaf dragon with lead courtesy of a Tiberon*
HULK SMASH! HULK SMASH PUNY GIANT! HULK BREAK COMPUTER LADY!
I'd suggest taking a deep breath and holding it.
Hey wait a second. You're not the real death. Your author tried to trick me. Well you know what that means? KATANARAMA!
It prevents me from melting!
*sigh* Come Olaf, let's go back home.
She turned me into a newt. But I got better.
can save you 15% or more on car insurance?
I love that series!
Not you too...
I don't know which post to answer anymore.
A warrior amongst the flowers,
He bears a thrusting sword.
Able and ready to use,
To guard his golden hoard
What is it?
Two sisters are we, one is dark and one is fair
In twin towers dwelling we're quite the pair
One from land and one from sea
Tell us truly, who are we?
You know. Because the first letter of each sentence spells a hat.
I'm clever.
Anyway, the real answer is a bee.
No, you cannot break the law and pay no tax. The government has very strict checkpoints.
And if anybody tries to use Zeno's Paradox to say that you never "really" reached the mile to the checkpoint guards, they will shoot you. They have been well trained to take out smart-aleks.
I just open a portal and drive through! 3000 apples!
You know, it's moments like this that make me want to play with Batman again. At least he plays by the rules!
Fine then! Your portal devices are deactivated! You are shipping these apples because you did something stupid like, I don't know, turn yourself into a Time Lord, and this is your punishment. So, you have no access to any PPC tech, or indeed any technology besides your truck! THERE! Now, solve the riddle.
You can't just... That's against the spirit of... But the rules...
ARRGH!!!
((You know, I think hS might just be the anti-Riddler. Sound, reasonable logic that flies completely in the face of the spirit of riddles and logic puzzles. He can't argue against them, but they are also very clearly wrong, on so many levels. A logic bomb for those who disable logic bombs for a living.))
particles have a probability of being any distance from their perceived locale. Therefore, the apples in my truck cannot be taxed, because for all you know they could be anywhere.
~Neshomeh
Credit: Casey and Andy #89.
The "guards" should be around any moment.
Now, if you excuse me, I have to make sure my lair is Bat-proof.
You don't want to get too upset... Stress causes, well, fear. Panic. And you don't want that, now do you? Unless you fancy being a test subject today?
(Silenthunder here. He's got me locked up. I don't know my location, but he mentioned a test, and you-know-what-that-means-and-I-need-to-be-rescued-right-now!)
The boys in the lab have informed me that you have expressed an enthusiasm for testing that they claim is "crazy". We here at Aperture love finding individuals who think outside of the box, and I'm here to say "Welcome aboard!" You'll be working with our new line of mousetraps - we make them with real lab-fed mice! Just look for the exit of the trap. Spears are on the left. You'll know when the test starts.
Once again, this is Cave Johnson - we're done here.
Is there anything you want me to do for you?
Smooth. Jazz. Cookies. Now, the eggheads say that shouldn't be possible. I say we cram a few more saxophones in! We'll turn crumpets into trumpets and reap the profits. Those Black Mesa bas- ...what? What do you mean, "we're out of funk"? Fire up the disco factory and make some more!
...what were we talking about again? Ah, never mind. Cave Johnson, out!
I'll need those files we made on the effects of teleportation on dogs. I think I've found a way to incorporate that into our lines of shower curtains. Also, we're out of lemons. Thanks, Caroline - you're a doll!
Hey there Scare Guy. I bet you and the readers at home are wondering how I got here? Well you see, I was trolling around this board earlier today I found this portally-thingy that led me right here. Now, I know what you're thinking. After all I can read your thought bubble. And no, no one has hired me to take care of you. But do I even need a reason? Say hello to my little friends. Slicey-Slicey. Lets make this quick I gotta pick Death up for a Date to get some chimichangas at that place over on 74th. SHORYUKEN!
If you don't tread carefully you might find yourself somewhere you don't want to be... Nothing scares me, and I say that truly. I have overcome my nightmares. I have seen the darkness in the flesh, and with my help you can also be free of that-
BZZZT!
Get outa here, Crow! My turn now! WELL, HIIII EVERYBODY! DIDJA MISS ME? HAHAHAHAHA! Guess who, Edward?
I know I am on just about every team, but I don't even know where this is. Did you have something to do with this bub?
Oh yes, I've heard about ya, yer little claw trick. Reminds me of Croc so much… You're both animals. Hee-hee! Anyway, I just came here myself. Apparently this is a place full of mad, happy people. Great stuff! Why not see how much happier they can get, eh? Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go flood the ventilation with some, ahem, chemicals...
The Batman may be coming. Also the answer is 833.
Because if so, I can just wait.
Actually, it takes a lot more electricity to zap a Time Lord than a human. I go ahead and open the door. :D
Hello miss,do you need help?
...or I you think you can handle yourself those poor goons that are coming this way?
Well Miss, I take the big ones, and you take the small ones.
"And when we finish, I need you to look at this lovely flashing light..."
And with that, Rina snagged the plothole the Doomsday clone had arrived in and used it to go safely back to HQ. The end.
The hammer returns to a figure standing in the gap. "I know not what thou art. But your actions speak loud enough. Attacking the one in tights who wears his underclothes on the outside and the small human. I know not how I got here. But it is your misfortune."
You just interrupted a HQ invasion simulation, you must be very proud of yourself. *flies away, while the clone vanishes*
I will get to the bottom of this
I count to sixty forty-five times in a row. Being a band geek helps with keeping time.
Very well. You are free to go. Just be sure you go the right way...
...I must simply tie them with my Lasso, and ask the way out.
Take the first rope and light both ends on fire, also lighting one end of the second rope on fire. By the time the first rope has been burnt 30 minutes have passed. Then light the second end of the second rope. When that rope has been burnt 45 minutes have elapsed.
And now you have engaged in kidnapping and false imprisonment. You might want to check on those guards again, before they are all incapacitated.
You gave them a chance all right... 50% each. If all else fails, might as well pick a color and hope for the best, eh?
~Neshomeh
Here is how it goes. Wonder Woman can see both Batman and the Flash's hat, as she is last in line. Flash and Batman must have different color hats or else Wonder Woman would have been correctly able to guess her hat. Now when time has nearly elapsed Batman now knows that Wonder Woman has not called her color. Ergo, his hat is not the same color as Flash. He can see Flash's hat and knows that his must be different.
All 100 Blue-Eyed People leave on day 100.
Only, you know, better in every possible way? ^_^;
~Neshomeh
Congratulations to the both of you.
Alas, I must go, for now. I have a slight Bat problem. However, I will be back soon, with yet more riddles for you to solve!
Until next time!
*Teleports in* What?! I missed it? Well I think I speak for all of us when I say...Seriously? Aquaman? What are you going to do? Throw a fish at him? I think A real hero is needed. Isn't that right readers?
Now Nigma, where we were? *readies his Trident*
I think Purple-Green left the field. That really hurts you know. But hey I'm sure I'll get over it. Since I don't actually exist. But hey! Guess what I'm still here. Course I wasn't payed for this, but, hey, when has that ever stopped me?
Say hello to my little friends. Slicey-Shooty!
Say, if I get you one nice big chest of Atlantean gold, would you capture The Riddler alive and bring him to the Justice League?
Most of my contracts involve things like missing limbs and maybe a few pints of missing blood. Ooh and maybe a missing or slightly tarnished head. I suppose I could...Say's what the going exchange rate? How many chimichangas will that buy?
...enough for a multiple lifetimes supply.
Can he be at least a little bit dead injured?
...if you can find him.
*Teleports away to go catch the riddle guy and return him only mostly dead* See ya fish man!
Yours is I think using base 10 which gets the same result. You were just using a smaller scale. Except it isn't all that better. Seeing as I can neither confirm nor deny that I may or may not be doing some form of research on various things.
Want to have a ride out of here? And maybe later, dinner... *wiggles eyebrow*
Were I unwed, I would let you take me in a manly fashion. Cuz you're pretty. And sound like Nathan Fillion. ^_~
~Neshomeh
*Creates a protective green bubble around Neshomeh* Time for the heroic rescue! I could phase us through the ceiling, or drill our way out. Your choice Ma'am. *roguish smile*
Whee, phasing through stuff! ^_^
~Neshomeh
*takes Neshomeh, runs up the wall and phases with her through the ceiling* See ya Ma'am! *runs back into the lair*
By the way, you're one of my favorites from Justice League and JLU. And since you're here and there's this chaste little peck going wanting... *grin*
~Neshomeh might be a little high on the adrenaline rush.
I think this simulation is over, Agent Dives bailed out, and one blonde idiot with a hammer crashed through the wall of the simulator. Excuse the language, Ma'am.
Archivist Neshomeh, the DC Universe Fanfiction University apologises for the inconveniences, this simulation is over and we will be leaving shortly. *They fly away and the rest of the League teleports away inmediately later*
The Flash used his super-speed to tap out the color of Batman's hat in Morse code on the floor. He waited until the last minute so that the building could be surrounded by the Justice League while you weren't paying attention.
(I can't remember the actual solution, unfortunately...)
Believe it or not, I do know how to incapacitate my foes. I even lased them with Kryptonite, should Superman try to cheat and free them himself.
I could have told him the answer, for all you know...
(Internet went out, long story) You're talking about a man, his son and his grandson, obviously.
Though given the mechanics of combustion, the ashes don't quite fit...
Also: no, it's not a chemistry puzzle. ^_^
(Yyyyyep, I think you've sussed out how I was at school quite admirably. And church, for that matter. 'But what about...?')
hS
Here's another:
Elizabeth, Lizzie, Betsy, and Bess
All went together to seek a bird's nest.
They found a bird's next with five eggs laid.
If they each took one out, how many remained?
... is it freckles?
[[Agent Freckles: What? Me? Huh?
Agent Sandra: No, not you. Shh.]]
hS
Yes. =]
Was an air-conditioning unit, like a fan or something.
Because, I cannot get enough of these things.
Here's a classic:
Three missionaries and three cannibals need to cross a river. They come across a boat that can carry two at a time. At least one person must be present to row the boat and if at any time the cannibals outnumber the missionaries on one side (including any in the boat), they will eat them. How can all people present be ferried safely to the other side?
Well, four, if you discount the one which is 'cheat'. It's not my fault if you refuse to think outside the box for your think-outside-the-box logic puzzle.
hS
Unless I set it up wrong
Which is entirely possible. I am no mathematician.
Though Math does touch everything in some, way, shape, or form.
It's a little boy, his father, and his grandfather, but you're right.
The enter thing doesn't work here. It just skips the paragraph breaks and displays your message in its entirety.
Fun Fact! I started this post to present an even easier peasi...er solution, but I realized ST probably didn't mean there were three fish in the lake in total.
The Emperor of China decided to test his staff to find the wiser ones, so he put them into two groups. Both groups were put in separate rooms, and both received a wide round table of the best food and drink, but the catch was that each man had to sit three feet away from the table. This was because they all had to eat the food with chopsticks that were three feet long.
The Emperor told them he would come back in an hour to see how much food they had eaten. When he finally returned, the first group was angry, frustrated and hungry. On the contrary, the second group was happy and well-fed. What caused the difference?
First group tried feeding themselves, second group worked together.
How can a baby fall out of 12-story building and live?
Though the variation I heard was a 'thousand story' building.
It's a library. Though a pretty poor excuse for a library if it only has a thousand stories. ^w^
Seeing as it only says a 12 story building and not the window of the 12th Story, I would have to say fell out the first story window, probably on to a nice patch of grass maybe about three feet or so from the window. Falls from a window onto a balcony.
Give me food and I will thrive, give me drink and I will die. What am I?
It was all a ruse. Assuming you chose to subscribe to Wicked's interpretation of the events.
Which is where the Eminent Thropp is found; in the musical, her father is the noble one, which says interesting things about the producers...
hS
Fire. If one throws wood (food) on a fire it will grow. If one throws water (drink) it will expire.
Riddle me this, Riddle me that: Whose afraid of the big black bat What is deaf, dumb, and blind, and always tells the truth?
If you throw water on one of those? BOOM.
Anyway, what five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short
Okay, say I have three crates of fruit: one apples, one oranges, one apples and oranges. BUT, the labels are mixed up. Reaching into ONE, and ONLY one box, how do I solve the problem of which label goes where?
And don't ask why you can't look inside all of them, because reasons.
I cannot see what you let in. Because of me, neither can anyone else. Who are we?
hS