Subject: I am impressed.
Author:
Posted on: 2015-03-25 19:31:00 UTC
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... Hopefully that's enough to fill up the preview space. Some of you, uh, didn't quite do that. ^^; Therefore, I was spoiled sufficiently that I got worried and spoiled myself fully by looking at the interlude first, just to see if I had understood correctly.
I had.
I was initially very concerned about Rina's transformation, considering how this particular plot device has been handled in the past. BUT! I am very pleased to say my concerns were unfounded. Iximaz, please accept my heartfelt congratulations for taking an old idea and making it better, faster, stronger than it was before. You really did your homework, and I found myself laughing several times after I'd finished reading and gone about my business as I realized exactly how long you've been planning this. I am very, very impressed.
My only real issue was the lack of closure for the Potterverse, but since Skarmory's setting up an interlude for just that purpose, I think it'll be okay. And heck, it makes sense. Your agents took a good and proper beating. They can't really be expected to handle it themselves. They've done enough, poor things!
I might suggest building up Rose Potter's growing awareness of the agents a bit more in the last few parts, though. She's pretty angry and confrontational with them when she spots them, but apart from one scene that I can recall (when she's telling the story of the graveyard to the Gryffindors), she hasn't really shown much awareness that anything is out of place in her world up until then, so it comes out of the blue a little.
Other than that, you've shown a great ability for planning things out and properly foreshadowing them, so again, my most hearty congratulations on a job well done! ^^
~Neshomeh