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Won't be going for host--I have no clue what my free time and energy will look like in the next few weeks, so it seems like a bad plan. Thanks for clarifying, though.

~Z

On a meta level, the host is the Boarder who agrees to organize the event, i.e. set up the introductory thread, keep track of who gets what, and enforce the rules of the Exchange as the players participate. The in-universe host can be any one of the agents that this Boarder chooses, and has a similar purpose albeit within the story of the event/thread itself.

It doesn't have to be me specifically, either, although I am, as always, the one compiling the lists of people and gifts. If any participating Boarder wants to step up and be the host, all they have to do is ask - especially since this year will probably be as busy for me as the last, and I could use a little help for events like this! XD

The rules make more sense now than when I first read them (very tired and catching a cold at the time), so I'm in. You'll get an email as soon as I figure out who to send and with what.

Question: what's the host's function? Do they direct the exchanges, or are they just the official in-universe host, ie the person who volunteered their RC or wherever else?

~Z

But all the yes.

The tone and the setup is just... fun.

This is a mission that reminded me why I was drawn here to begin with.

And the spoilery one, too.

July makes PPCing a godawful NSFW Legendary fun. I can think of no higher praise than that. It was a pleasure to help bring this along, and I'm proud to have been a part of it.

~Neshomeh

You're right, Futa Prison is horrible, and completely messed up the characters from RWBY. It might as well have used completely original characters. It also ruined Kill La Kill, SnK, and Fairy Tail, and I assume it will ruin Bleach and One piece at some point, since those are tagged.

This review contains spoilers. You should not read it, or even click on it, without reading the mission first. Seriously. It's an amazing mission, and you shouldn't spoil it for yourself by reading my ramblings before you get to it.

~

~

~

Part One is a wonderful exploration both of July's return to HQ and the Flowers' dealings with Agony in Pink (and Legendaries as a whole), then turns into the glorious Cafeteria romp. The whole section is stuffed with foreshadowing for Part Three, which definitely rewards rereading once you know what's coming.

Part Two does a marvellous job of gradually establishing just how tough the fic is going to be to kill, but is also a quality mission. I've always preferred reports that don't linger on the NSFW parts of badfics - my Clbr__n mission is the same - and although it's short, it didn't need to be longer. It establishes what's bad about the fic, shows us enough that we feel it, introduces the players for Part Three - and then isn't afraid to move on.

As for Part Three... in the original outline (I said I'd been watching this for a long time), July introduced this section with the line And then... Go Go Canon Rangers!. It grabbed me by the fannishness and has never let go. I love the escalation over the course of the fight; I have to particularly highlight "I think we're about to find out what happens when a badfic fights back," which stands as a mission statement for the mission that is spectacularly fulfilled.

Reading over this, and Dafydd's interactions, takes me back to the process of writing it. I tweaked a lot of what he says and does, but the core of it is straight from July. (Though I will claim Ambalenar Atsordë! all for my own - ambale-nar is Quenya for 'fiery yellowhammer', while atsordë is a phonetic Quenyification of 'Zord').

The Dark Ranger is a perfect payoff to the setup in Part Two, and July was absolutely right to let Kimberly fight it. Some demons, you have to fight by yourself.

The Aftermath is a perfect ending: bittersweet levied with humour. I still have no idea who the Navigator is, but I guess some mysteries don't need to be answered.

I love this mission. It is a perfect farewell, one of the best I have ever read, and the only one that inspired me to create fanart:



Thank you, July, and safe voyaging.

hS

As July says, I beta'd it, so I've been watching Part 3 in particular for a long time, but it's been ages since I went back and read the whole thing end to end. And... I love it. Part One showcases everything that is best about the world of the PPC, and starts building up the anticipation for the denument. Part Two builds the tension up to spectacular levels - and Part Three delivers. Oh, how it delivers. This is the most creative finale to a PPC mission that I remember reading, and I've been here since '03, so that's saying a lot.

Read this mission. Read it unspoiled. You are missing out if you don't.

hS

The first badfic (archiveofourown.org/works/8451553/chapters/19362307) is "Futa Prison" by Damien_Kova. Just looking at the tags, I see charges for transgender fetishization and rape. I also see multiple characters with the same family name in an explicit fic, and a skimming through the text confirmed an incest charge. While I don't know any of the involved continua other that Persona 5 well enough to evaluate characterization or canon compliance, the writing appears to be of low quality, featuring awkward phrasing and several technical errors. I'd appreciate if someone familiar with RWBY (which is the most heavily involved fandom) could confirm that this is indeed awful.

The second one (archiveofourown.org/works/6408871/chapters/14671612) is "Meant to Be" by Waterrain. The main charges here are ultra beige prose (does the PPC have a term for when the prose goes beyond beige, like urple prose for when the opposite happens?), mangling of characterization and sibling relationships (the incest is, unfortunately, possible in canon and thus not charge worthy), and mpreg according to the tags.

The last two (archiveofourown.org/series/543514) are a series entitled "takumeme gets cummies from big dragon" by xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx. Featuring beige prose, transgender fetishization, bad characterization, anatomically impossible sex, and impossible anatomy in general (remember that archers tend to have very muscular arms), this fic is basically just poorly written smut. The incest is, once again, possible in game, so it isn't chargeworthy, but everything else still is.

I get what you mean, and I wouldn't want my agents to kill sue just by waving their hands. Most of the sues in the fandoms I have enough knowledge to spork are of the "several tons of tnt or stronger/hax" variety, so powered or not, my agents will still have their work cut out for them. (Just for reference 11 tons of tnt generates a blast radius of 150 metres.) I just want the sporking to be plausible you know? I don't want to be a hypocrite since I tend to nitpick on the more concrete aspects of a continuum.

Members of the PPC, it is finished. The Legendary Badfic "Agony in Pink" has been sporked. Let the history books note this triumph!

Ahem. Anyway, here you are:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Aftermath
Author's Note

Any comments shall be passed on to JulyFlame, the author of the piece. Please enjoy, and share your thoughts.

PC

So, I've been torturing the Discord for a while with a particularly nasty piece of bad slashfic and I've been told I should post it here. I think it would be a good idea to start a new badfic thread anyway, to see if other people have things worth adding to the Unclaimed Badfic page.

Link to the fic (NSFW)

Fic title and Author: Professor Legolas by Joxie

Canons: Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings

Major charges include:

- Warping Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Gandalf, Glorfindel, Galadriel, and many others out of character
- Giving Legolas a personal portal to and from Middle-earth
- Giving Harry Potter a Veela "inheritance", complete with a soul bond to Legolas, utterly disregarding various aspects of canon Veela in the process
- Confusing physical intimacy with romantic love, and using the former to save the life of at least one character through a bond
- Making Harry Potter a descendant of Aragorn and Arwen
- Creating seven Sue artifacts in the form of "amulets." Four belong to Elrond, Glorfindel, Legolas, and Celeborn; the rest are in control of Gandalf, who gives one to Harry
- Turning Harry into an elf halfway through the fic
- Severing at least two Harry Potter wizards from their magical ability entirely
- Making Galadriel a Veela.

Summary: Legolas is made Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts by Headmaster Snape after the Second Wizarding War. In the fic, Ron and Ginny are dead after deciding to serve Voldemort in the war, while Draco and Lucius decided to help Harry. Harry quickly falls in love with Legolas and then comes into his Veela inheritance, which starts a "mate or die" plot that quickly gets resolved. Lucius manages to follow Legolas through his personal portal to M-e and eventually gets into a relationship with an extremely abusive Glorfindel.

Later, Lucius attempts to kill Harry and Legolas (through his soul bond) while disguised as Haldir. The only thing that stops Harry and Legolas from killing Haldir is that he's found to already be dead. Meanwhile, Glorfindel helps Lucius Malfoy end his own life to escape punishment at Harry's hand. Haldir's family demands compensation for the "blood debt", and is satisfied when Draco Malfoy is forcibly bonded to Glorfindel. It is notable that Glorfindel also gains control of precisely how and when Draco can use his magic; he promptly uses this ability to cut Malfoy off from his magic entirely.

Harry and Draco have a conversation about their abusive fathers (both of whom are shown to be far worse than they are in canon) and Gandalf offers both of them the gift of becoming Elves at the cost of their ability to perform magic. At that point, Galadriel senses Harry's immense power as a Veela and gets into a fight with him, both in their Veela forms. Draco is caught in the crossfire and dies an extremely dramatic death, and Elrond holds a Council to decide what to do with the situation. Harry manages to convince everyone present to banish Galadriel from Middle-earth until his death before accepting the Valar's gift of becoming an Elf.

This summarizes the first 18 chapters. The fic is 41 chapters long. I'm sorry for not reading the entire fic before reporting it, but I think that I've seen enough of it to say it's worth sporking.

I shall imagine that everything is wrapped in eye-bending vantablack and urple paper. {= )

~Neshomeh

Have one of my own shed feathers, plus a working replica of the Golden Snitch with a Pokeball engraving!

...but given work and family things I just haven't had the time to respond to it until now. Your folks are added to the list along with Hardric's, which leaves about two or three more Boarder slots, as noted above.

And to answer your question from PM, I'd rather not describe the packaging in case it gives any of the gifts away - this is, after all, a blind-bag sort of thing. Nobody's supposed to know who sent what, or what gifts there are in the first place; I think package descriptions would kinda give that away a bit. ^^;

I understand that there's been some recent drama that's been overshadowing this thread, but I'm still interested in going through with the 2018 Gift Exchange (unlike last year, where everyone was just too darn busy :c), and I still need two or three more Boarders to have enough people to set it up. So, uh... Hello? Anybody?

For the sake of having this event at least start up in January, I'll give a one-week window for you guys to join in this event. Hopefully, if enough people do so, I should be able to set something up on Thursday or Friday, Wednesday evening at the earliest. Again, two or three more people shall suffice as long as they have Permission and at least one agent team.

At least in theory, agents should not be able to stand toe-to-toe with the work. That's one of the premises of the setting- there's too much work, we're underequipped, understaffed, poorly managed, and the primary way to get through it all is bitter sarcasm and slowly collecting flamethrower parts.

In practice, it all comes down to how well you can write. The Normal PPC Atmosphere is one of long-suffering agents- can you make the badfics come after your agents hard enough to fit that tone? Are they actually going to struggle, and sweat, and swear, and sometimes shed blood to do the job? If so, they're not overpowered! If not, they could be ordinary humans and still be overpowered.

It's hard to write powerful agents. And that's why the guideline exists- it's not so much an in-verse restriction as an out-of-verse guideline to make missions interesting to read.

Take a flask of mjød, and a book from the Library of Prospero. Although be sure to have it back in before... oh. Nevermind.

Apologies for not greeting you earlier, but... well, y'know. Anyways, I'm Thoth, Almighty Sorcerer, and Crazy Liar. I'm not a Space Marine, but I play one on TV.

You seem cool, so be sure to pop by the Discord if you're feeling it, and just... generally have fun, even if you don't take me up on that.

Iximaz: Hagrid took up two seats and sat knitting what looked like a canary-yellow thong.

First-year students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work thongs (black)

GoodModAddict: Without warning, twelve-foot wings flapped open on either side of Harry; he just had time to seize yr hippogriff around the thong before he was soaring upward.

Scapegrace: Appearing out of nowhere was a triple-decker purple thong.

Iximaz: "Got it," said Hagrid at last, holding up a tiny golden thong.

GoodModAddict: The Sorcerer's Thong can be used to produce the Elixir of Life.

Iximaz: "How come Percy gets new thongs, anyway?" said one of the twins.
"Because he's a prefect," said their mother fondly.

Scapegrace: I think my favourite part of CoS is when Harry and Ron fly to Hogwarts in the Flying Ford Thonglia.

Iximaz: Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. There were four thongs inside.
Her eyes lingered for a moment on Neville's thong, which was fastened under his left ear, and on Ron's smudged nose.

Scapegrace: "Thongbeer? That's not strong stuff," said Ron.
"'Tis strong for a House Elf."

GoodModAddict: This state-of-the-art racing thong sports a streamlined, superfine strap of silk, treated with a flexible polish and hand-numbered with its own registration number. Each individually selected silk strand in the thong has been honed to aerodynamic perfection, giving the Thongbolt unsurpassable comfort and pinpoint precision. The Thongbolt has an acceleration of 150 miles an hour in ten seconds and incorporates an unbreakable Braking Charm. Price on request.

Iximaz: A lamp flickered on. It was Hermione Granger, wearing a pink thong and a frown.

GoodModAddict: Hagrid strode over to Harry, grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the thong.

Iximaz: He pushed the door ajar and peered inside—and a horrible scene met his eyes.

Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees. One of his legs was bloody and mangled. Filch was handing Snape thongs.

GoodModAddict: Draco cast Thongfire in the Room of Requirement.

Iximaz: Ron dived at Malfoy just as Snape came up the stairs.
"WEASLEY!"
Ron let go of the front of Malfoy's thong.

Iximaz: "I—don't—want—" said Percy thickly, as the twins forced the thong over his head, knocking his glasses askew.

GoodModAddict: "Mr. Malfoy then saw an extraordinary apparition. Can you imagine what it might have been, Potter?"
"No," said Harry, now trying to sound innocently curious.
"It was your thong, Potter. Floating in midair."
There was a long silence.
"Maybe he'd better go to Madame Pomfrey," said Harry. "If he's seeing thongs like--"
"What would your thong be doing in Hogsmeade, Potter?" said Snape softly. "Your thong is not allowed in Hogsmeade. No part of your body is allowed in Hogsmeade."
"I know that," said Harry, striving to keep his face free of guilt or fear. "It sounds like Malfoy's having hallucin--"
"Malfoy is not having hallucinations," snarled Snape, and he bent down, a hand on each side of Harry's thong, so that their faces were a foot apart. "If your thong was in Hogsmeade, so was the rest of you."

Mister Shoebox: "Thong me, Wormtail." Lord Voldemort had risen again.

Mister Shoebox: "I am not worried, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice a little stronger despite the freezing thong. "I am with you.”

CodeCom: One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of thongs.

Mister Shoebox: "Of course it is happening inside your thong, Harry, but why on Earth should that mean it is not real?"

Mister Shoebox: "We're not going to use thongs?!" Ron ejaculated loudly.

(( Ed: The dialogue tag is Rowling's ))

Mister Shoebox: “To the well-organized thong, death is but the next great adventure.”

Mister Shoebox: This doesn't have anything to do with thongs, but it is a zinger. “Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have.” - Hermione Granger, Phoenix. My response - "I mean, I did for four movies, but I outgrew it!"

Mister Shoebox: “Thongs are in my not-so-humble opinion, the most inexhaustible form of magic we have, capable both of inflicting injury and remedying it.”

Mister Shoebox: Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal thong and he could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergiest "It unscrews the other way."

Mister Shoebox: "Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a thong with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.

GoodModAddict: To the Dark Lord
I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real thong and intend to wear it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more. R.A.B.

GoodModAddict: "Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Thongs!"

(( Ed: That's that. Feel free to add some more stuff, since this is meant to spark further discussion and that would do it. - Tomash ))

So, I meant to do this a few months ago after I'd gotten folks OK to post this, but then I forgot until I got reminded of this recently.

Without much further ado, here's the time we started replacing a bunch of words in Harry Potter quotes with "thong" in chat in last July. It is up to you whether that's the sandal or the other item of clothing. (This was all prompted by a badfic typo, for context). Many reactions and comments have been stripped.

GoodModAddict: "It is very curious that you should be destined for this thong, when its brother gave you that scar." -Movieverse Ollivander

Iximaz: "Master has given Dobby a thong!"

Matt Cipher: ..."Give her thong from us, Peeves"

GoodModAddict: "It is our thongs, far more than our abilities, that determine who we are." -Albus Dumbledore

Matt Cipher: “One can never have enough thongs.”

Scapegrace: "MERLIN SAVE ME FROM THE PROBLEMS OF THE THONG"

Iximaz: Educational Thong Number Twenty-Four

KittyEden: "I? I see myself holding a nice warm thong"

GoodModaddict: "It's an Invisibility Thong!"

Scapegrace: "Look at her thong, Professor!"
"I see no difference."

Matt Cipher: Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, frowning at Harry. Then she said, "Have thongs, Potter."

Iximaz: "Has anyone seen a thong? A boy named Neville's lost one."

Scapegrace: "You can talk to snakes! You're a Parselthong!"

GoodModAddict: "So Ginny poured out her thong to me, and her thong happened to be exactly what I wanted..."

Iximaz: Does that mean we can now replace the sorting hat with the sorting thong?

Scapegrace: "It can be easy to find oneself in Y-fronts, but all one needs to remember is to put on the thong."

Iximaz: The thong song instead of the sorting hat song

Matt Cipher: The Sorting Thong sounds like something a HP smut would do...

KittyEden: Gryffinthong

Iximaz: The Thong Ball

GoodModAddict: "If anyone wanted to find out some stuff, all they'd have to do would be to follow the thongs."

KittyEden: Professor McThongagall

Scapegrace: The Thong Ball is presumably separated from the one on the other side.

Iximaz: "Now that you've got hold of your thong, I want you to mount it. Grip it tight; you don't want to be sliding off the end."

GoodModAddict: The cursed thong made the person float in the air and nearly choke to death

Scapegrace: "It's always follow the spiders, isn't it? Why can't it ever be anything nice? Why can't it be something like 'Follow the thongs'?"

KittyEden: "It's always follow the thongs, isn't it? Why can't it ever be anything nice? Why can't it be something like 'Follow the spiders'?"

Iximaz: "What I want you to worry about is this. The Golden Thong."

Matt Cipher: "And it's Johnson, Johnson with the thong, what a player that girl is..."

GoodModAddict: "Our kind like the dark and thongs..." - Aragog

Scapegrace: "If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his thongs, not his equals."

Iximaz: "Harry. You have your mother's thong."

KittyEden: ACCIO THONG

Scapegrace: "Cedric gave me the password to get into the Prefects' Thong."

Iximaz: They were learning about Animagi, witches and wizards who could transform into thongs.

GoodModAddict: Harry gripped his thong tightly.

Iximaz: "As such, I don't expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is thong making..."

Matt Cipher: The owl swooped in and dropped the thong on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up.

Iximaz: The thong swooped in and dropped the newspaper on top of Hagrid, who didn't wake up.

Iximaz: (Instead of a Howler, Molly sends Ron a thong)

Scapegrace: "I'm sorry, Professor, but I must not wear thongs."

Matt Cipher: "Hurry up! Bring my thong, boy!" - Vernon

Waltz (consilidated): The Ministry of Thongs has always considered the thongs of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance.The rare thongs with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction.

The ancient thongs unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them forever.

The treasure trove of magical thongs amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.

Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts have brought something new to the weighty thong of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay.

There again, thong for thong's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering.

A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognised as errors of thongs.

Meanwhile, some old thongs will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what thongs ought to be preserved, perfecting what thongs needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find thongs that ought to be prohibited.

GoodModAddict: "Harry, did you put your thong in the Goblet of Fire?"

GoodModAddict: "HARRY POTTER: THONG MISSION"

Matt Cipher: Dudley: Sees Harrys letter. He runs and grabs it Dad, look! Harry's got a thong!!

GoodModAddict: "WEASLEY IS OUR THONG!"

Waltz: "It’s obvious what this means. There’s going to be loads of thongs tonight."

Scapegrace: "Part of the family now, Harry. Mum's knitted you a thong."

Iximaz: "Weasly cannot save a thong, he cannot block a single thong, that's why Slytherins all sing, Weasley is our thong"

Waltz: "From now on, I don't care if my thongs spell, 'Die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."

Scapegrace: "Ah, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Thongs. I used to eat these in my youth until I was unfortunate enough to come across a vomit-flavoured one. But I believe I might just... hm. Alas. Earwax."

Iximaz: Professor Kettleburn has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining thongs.

Waltz: The Cruciatus Curse ought to loosen your thong.

Iximaz: "My brother! My youngest brother, Ron! Got past McGonagall's giant thong set!"

Waltz: "This is a thong Dudley. That's what they call it when it goes all dark like this."

Scapegrace: "Hagrid, where did you get a dragon egg?"
"Won it off a bloke in a thong."

Waltz: "Very clean, aren't they, these thongs? My dad's Muggle-born and he's a right old slob. I suppose it varies, just as it does with wizards?"

Matt Cipher: "Where did you get a dragon thong?"

Iximaz: How often do you come across a three-headed thong, even if you're in the trade?

Waltz: "Well, usually when a person shakes their thong, they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans —"

Matt Cipher: "I did my waiting... 12 years of it... IN THONG!"

Waltz: "Thong beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."

Iximaz: "What's an Auror?"
"Dark thong catcher."

Scapegrace: Umbridge placed Fudge's thong down on the desk. "What Cornelius doesn't know can't hurt him."

Matt Cipher: Mad-Thongs Moody

Waltz: "You … this isn't a criticism, Harry! But you do … sort of … I mean … don't you think you've got a bit of a thong thing?"

GoodModAddict: "I AM LORD THONGDEMORT."

Iximaz: Umbridge does panty raids on the Ministry
this makes so much sense

Waltz: A THONGDA KADAVRA

Matt Cipher: Wingardium Thongosa!

Scapegrace: Surely Thongardium Leviosa?

Waltz: Of course, he might have crawled into the thong cupboard and died... but I mustn't get my hopes up.

Iximaz: "Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Thong!"

GoodModAddict: "You must have been very loyal to me, to call that thong to you."

Waltz: "There is a time for thong-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

Iximaz: So... Harry killed the basilisk...
With the thong of Godric Gryffindor?

Matt Cipher: “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without thong.”

Scapagrace: "I see myself in the mirror... I'm holding the Quidditch Cup."
"He liesssss..."
"TELL THE THONG, BOY!"

Iximaz: Professor Quirrel unwrapped the thong from his head...

Matt Cipher: “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with thongs.”

Scapegrace: "I heard he keeps garlic in his thong to ward off vampires."

Iximaz: "Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood... I've found you a thong."

Matt Cipher: “Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's thongs.”

Iximaz: "YOU LOST ME MY THONG, BOY!"

Scapegrace: "It takes a good deal of courage to stand up to your enemies... but a good deal more to stand up to your thongs."

Scapegrace: "The Chamber of Y-Fronts has been opened. Enemies of the Thong, beware..."

Iximaz: "These aren't real thongs, are they?"
"It's just a spell. Besides, it's the card you want!"

Matt Cipher: “The last enemy that shall be destroyed is thong.”

Iximaz: Professor Dumbledore enjoys listening to chamber music and thong bowling.

Matt Cipher: “An Unbreakable Thong?" said Ron, looking stunned.

Matt Cipher: "Six years to the day we met, Harry, d’yeh remember it?"
"Vaguely," said Harry, grinning up at him. "Didn’t you smash down the front door, give Dudley a thong, and tell me I was a wizard?"

GoodModAddict: Harry and Ron looked under the sink where Myrtle was pointing. A small, thin thong lay there. It had a shabby cover and was as wet as everything else in the bathroom.

Matt Cipher: “There is no good and evil, there is only thong and those too weak to seek it.”

GoodModAddict: "None of us is hiding a thong under our cloaks. Go."

Scapegrace: "You gave a Muggle boy one of your Thong-Tongue Toffees?"

Waltz: "There is nothing to be feared from a thong, Harry, any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness... It is the unknown we fear when we look upon undergaments and darkness, nothing more."

Matt Cipher: “The thong is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure."

GoodModAddict: "None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our thongs"

Iximaz: Oh you may not think I'm pretty, but don't judge on what you see
I'll eat myself if you can find a smarter thong than me
You can keep your bowlers black
Your top thongs sleek and tall
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Thong and I can cap them all!
There's nothing hidden in your thong the Sorting Thong can't see
So try me on and I will tell you where you ought to be
You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart
Their daring, nerve, and thongs set Gryffindors apart
You might belong in Hufflepuff, where they are just and loyal
Those patient Hufflepuffs are thongs and unafraid of toil
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, if you've a ready mind
Where those of wit and learning will always find their thongs
Or perhaps in Slytherin, you'll make your real friends
Those cunning thongs use any means to achieve their ends
So put me on, don't be afraid, and don't get in a thong
You're in safe thongs (though I have none)
For I'm a thinking thong!

Matt Cipher: "You can keep your boxers* black "

Scapegrace: When they entered the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom they found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teacher’s desk, wearing the fluffy pink thong of the night before.

(( Ed: the above entry was considered to have "won" at the time ))

GoodModAddict: "Show her your thong, Harry!" Fred yelled as he whooshed past in pursuit of a thong that was aiming for Alicia.

Waltz: The Ministry of Thongs has always considered the underwear of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance.The rare thongs with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction.
The ancient thongs unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them forever.
The treasure trove of magical thongs amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.
Every Thongmaster and Thongmistress of Hogwarts have brought something new to the weighty thong of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay.
There again, thong for thong's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering.
A balance, then, between old and new undergarments, between opaque and sheer, between tradition and innovation because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognised as errors of thongs.
Meanwhile, some old thongs will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what thongs ought to be preserved, perfecting what thongs needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find thongs that ought to be prohibited

GoodModAddict: "You know what, Hermione?" Ron said, looking down at the enormous Arithmancy book Hermione had been using as a thong.

Scapegrace: "You're scary, thong," said Ron. "Brilliant... but scary."

GoodModAddict: Professor Trelawney rustled past.
"Would anyone like me to help them interpret the shadowy portents within their thong?" she murmured over the clinking of her bangles.
"I don't need help," Ron whispered.

Iximaz: Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made thongs.

Scapegrace: "Having already revolutionised the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts, Dolores Jane Umbridge will, as Thong Inquisitor, have powers to address the seriously falling thongs at Hogwarts School."

GoodModAddict: The tale of the Deathly Thongs?

Iximaz: As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in thongs.

Iximaz: Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green thong! The nerve of him!

Waltz: "Come out, Harry... come out and play, then... it will be quick... it might even be painless... I would not know... I have never worn a thong...."

Iximaz: Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his thong.

Iximaz: Harry made a grab for the thong but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way.

Scapegrace: "Fine day, Sunday," said Uncle Vernon. "No thongs on Sundays."

Iximaz: Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four thongs.

Scapegrace: "No thongs, eh? They could feel great, you know. Terrible, yes... but great..."

GoodModAddict: "It's all here in your head, and thongs will help you on your way to greatness"

Iximaz: "It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."
He took off his thick black thong and threw it to Harry.

Scapegrace: "It does not do to dwell on thongs and forget to live."
-- Albus Thongledore.
([GeekyGoth] wants credit for that one.)

(( Continued in reply because there was too much text for one post - Tomash ))

oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oogoog ooo oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oogoog ooo oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog ooo oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oog oogoog ooo oog oog oog turns into: "MOSCOW - A suicide bomber detonated his explosives into a mosque after he was shot dead by a suicide bomber, police and witnesses said. MOST KNOWLEDGE MORNING OBAMA"

It was rather short, so I don't have too much else to say about it.

Though that was something of a long paragraph at the end. You maybe could've used a lot of two-ish sentence paragraphs to complement the punchy feelings from the sentence fragments you have going.

- Tomash

I don't have too much to say other than it was a nice, well-put-together short scene. You did a good job of showing everyoen's emotions through their actions, I'd say.

I also like the casual genderfluidity in the parenthetical.

- Tomash

You did a good job of showing Agamemnon's mental state and what I'm presuming are the rather unpleasant effects of ... something bad.

- Tomash