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Have an urple glitter gel pen. Your agents may not use it to fill out mission reports.

I did skim through the fic itself, and I can say that it DOES provide a good dose or two of cringe later on - there's a flashback scene involving torture, which is probably why the gore warning was there - plotholes aren't resolved, and the author stated that they were going to accept OCs for inclusion at one point (though IDK if they got around to it, seeing as they stopped updating it later). So yeah, I think there should be some good sporking material to work with. :)

I understand that you're super-busy - I am, too - but I hope we can indeed work something out in the future once things clear up for us both. And yes, I wholeheartedly approve of Pony!Nume being a thing. XD

First, responding to some of your individual points:
-I'm glad the descriptions were decent, as that's one of my weak points in writing. (Looking back, I see I've failed to describe Gwenda's or Therwin's clothes much. :( ) I admit, I don't really have a good mind's eye view of Gwenda yet, hence the fall-back on "average everything." I do tend to use em dashes for breaks in narration rather than parentheses, since the latter feels a little "in-text author's note" to me.

-"Therwin himself" is to separate Therwin's description from Gwenda's in the previous paragraph, though I see your point that it may not be needed in light of being in separate paragraphs.

-Thank you for pointing out typos!

-Gwenda's daughter has not yet appeared on screen. In fact, I didn't know she had a daughter in the PP...il I got to that paragraph . . .

-I suspect the DMFF gets quite a few applicants who "just love animals," whether they're familiar with fanfiction/the PPC or not!

-I did fail to explain the "mud," partly due to pacing. It's actually coconut fiber, often used as substrate for reptiles. It starts out as dry bricks, but breaks apart into a somewhat muddy damp mess when soaked in water. I'll be sure to explain that better in the published version.

-Ashe's hair is cut (and dyed) the way she likes it. :)

-Big Red's behaviors in this story are 100% true-to-life for a certain lizard I know.

-Re: mistaking Therwin's boot for being on Ashe: I had an unusual amount of difficulty in this story following the "one paragraph per one character's actions" guideline, partly due to pacing. I'll be sure to look at those paragraphs, and this one in particular to see if I can make them more clear.

-re: Gwenda being shocked: The main "theme" of this story (if a story this short can be said to have one) is the difference of perspective between someone who works closely with animals daily, and someone who . . . shall we say likes the concept of animals, without having much practical hands-on experience with them? And I think Therwin understands that difference, and the potential for problems it creates both ways, better than the other two characters here.

-Glad the Rc description is good (though I do tend to be better with location descriptions than character descriptions). I know it's a bit more modification than most RCs see, and I'll definitely need to address why Ashe's hasn't been raided by BM yet, but this story didn't have space for that explanation.

-I meant to get across that Ashe was amused by Therwin using her RC as a "breaking-in" of newbies, by her laughter. I'll check that paragraph out more closely on my second go-through as well.

-I am disappointed that I didn't manage to get across Gwenda's and Ashe's thought patterns more clearly, as their opposing worldviews was meant to be a main point of this story. In retrospect, I did end up writing it mostly from Therwin's point-of-view, when it might have been better served from Gwenda's perspective. On the other hand, as you said, it's a very short piece, and is really just an introduction for a new spin-off, where the characters will have a lot more space to grow moving forward. I'll have to stop and consider whether overhauling this whole story to be Gwenda's narrative voice will be worth it in the long run.

In a more broad sense: I'm typically used to getting beta work done in prose/paragraph form, rather than as bullets, but I found I rather liked it this way. It makes it easier for me to address each point without losing anything amidst a set of prose. Also, when I do beta work, I often save the typing for the end, so i can address the whole story from a thematic, whole perspective, but I may sometimes miss smaller questions that way. I think I may try this approach in the future, at least in part.

I also like that your responses are mostly calling my writing decisions into question. I know there's a saying that a beta should have bad points sandwiched in between good points, but honestly, I like getting bad points better, as that shows me what needs to get fixed. Pointing out the good places is good too, but knowing the RC description came out well means I can look past it now; it's the problem areas I like to focus on in a review.

And thank you for reviewing this, even though I took so long to post it!

Ok, so running log of thoughts:
- I'm liking the descriptions in the 2nd paragraph (I got a small stack overflow with the dashed-off list of things that were average, but I'm putting that down to not seeing much of em dashes being used as blackets, so not really anything against you)
- The "himself" in "Therwin himself" feels redundant somehow. I was expecting (if there was anything but the name) soem sort of sentence element indicating contrasts.
- "with not real" -> "with no real"?
- "I'd leave to meet" -> "I'd love to meet"
- At this point, I want to know what's up with that smile
- Those First Four Words should have been predictable
- Is Gwenda's daughter already an agent you've published about?
- That's an interesting change of expression.
- Can see why Therwin would be releived, assuming the implication that there's a bunch of shiny newbies who love animals and have no idea about the whole fanfiction thing applying to DMFF is correct
- Re: next pair of smiles. Glad to see Gwenda is getting more comfortable. Also (from previous reading) Therwin, what are you doing?
- Hm. Ok, said smile seems to be a forced social interaction thing
- Why is Ashe mixing mud, and what happened to half her hair? (she seems like the sort of person who doesn't care much about the expectaitons for dress, as shown by the flannel and the blue, so it could be intentional, but probably not)
- I get the feeling the conversaiton about "Awesome Ashe" has happened a lot
- You know more about lizards than I do, so I'm assuming that running for the door and biting a boot are both normal behaviors
- Took me a moment to figure out it was Therwin's boot, given that Ashe swore right afterwards (also, explaining that the dash was pronounced is funny)
- "tried whip" -> "tried to whip". Also "Big red" -> "Big Red' right before that
- Can't blame Gwenda for being shocked by this.
- Rotating the lizard around is also, I take it, a reasonable thing to do?
- Ah, that's why there's a lizard running around the RC
- The description of the RC is a good level of vivid. I can imagen what's going on, but it doesn't feel like I've had a picture shoved down my throat
- Is Ashe ... sane? Probably not, PPC
- Gwenda is, from what I can tell, super not looking forward to the prospect of a mission with Ashe
- Ok, so Therwin usually takes the newbies by Ashe's to give them an idea of what they actually signed up for. Makes sense.
- I'm going to guess that Ashe is unhappy about that because she'd prever not to be bothered by people? It's a bit hard to tell
Broad thoughts:
- I got a pretty good idea of how the characters act, and a slightly less clear (esp. with Ashe) idea of what they're like. That is, it's a bit tricky to build an idea of how these guys (mainly Ashe and Gwenda, Therwin seems a bit easier to pin down) think. To be fair, it's a short peice, and a lot of that sort of thing gets established over time. This could also just be me.
- The meta-ish stuff (First Four Words, funny pronounciation of the swears, the bit about th pleudo-skylight benig really weird, not that Gwenda would know, etc.) was well-done
- Big Red is cool
(( woah, that turned into a wall of text ))

Sorry for adding the table; that page was getting so long, it was getting frustrating to edit, and took a while to load in edit mode. (At least, for me.)

But there's no denying that questions about mini types and creation are still some of the most frequent things for newer Boarders to ask about. That seems to indicate that we need the info more explicit than we currently have it. I say, go for it!

—doctorlit, liking minis too much

Have a plate of welcome-back SPaGhetti! Man, it's been a while.

Really sorry about taking My Inner Life from you, I wouldn't have missioned it if I'd known. :(

"My Inner Life" was eventually missioned by Iximaz and her friend Randa. You can check it out here.

Did Al's Waiter MST it? I feel like that was probably a thing that happened, but you guys were a little before my time, I think. That or I didn't notice, or I have simply forgotten. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

I could probably try to fix this myself, but the Sprouts page links to the board instead of the archives, which means that the older references are broken.

Mostly I sort of hung around the board and talked with people, so I'm not the most interesting of returnbies, unfortunately. I tried doing a mission in collaboration with Al's Waiter for My Inner Life, but our schedules ended up getting in the way of it. (I'm not entirely sad about it, because it would've meant reading through all of MIL and that's a level of masochism that I'm not sure I can attain.)

I remember Al and Grey Lady Bast and some others being cool to chat with, especially for little high school me who didn't have many people to nerd out with. So yeah, mostly I remember this board as being pretty chill.

I don't think we talked much, and I mostly lurked around and commented on other people's stuff back then. I wasn't writing any agents or anything (though Al's Waiter and I tried to collaborate on one for My Inner Life, god help us both, but it was waylaid by our own scheduling difficulties).

Good seeing you again, though!

Whatever will make it clearer, but I have no trouble understanding it now.

I am wondering if mini-sues remember being killed. I don't think it was confirmed either way. I'm thinking of a Twilight story where the mini-sparklewolf kept popping up and was disposed of by the rest of the minis.

In the recent weeks, I had determined to tell the truth, but was waiting for something beyond my control to happen first. I recall only one incident, which was handled in a very proper manner.

There was also another issue in the outside world, which may or may not be relevant here. (Note to self, AdDCr.)

In the non-recent weeks, I have made mistakes, but I've given my full effort into not making them again.

---

When I say for something to happen first, I'm not talking about the consilary thread. I would have loved to fully participate as someone once wronged.

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I should have stayed away when stressed. I intend to make it a personal rule that I am not allowed to post unless I go through a list of stressful things and determining that I am not being stressed.

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The best defense is a good offense... Is there an article I should read to learn how to defend myself less aggressively?

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I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to revise my permission thread. IIRC, my first real permission thread as zd wasn't expecting permission, but wanting acknowledgement that I was on the right track.

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I believe that the issues of whether to trust or distrust someone comes from past experience. I could elaborate, but it would be viewed as a non-sequitur. (I have no idea what I was talking about here.)

In short, something about me made Skarmory distrust me. In Skarmory's case, it was perfectly valid because they had a vivid memory of a bad memory of me, and I came back with traits that they still recognized. Or perhaps he didn't, and I'm imagining things.

I do recognize your name from the Constitution! What else did you do back in the day? Any particular memories to share? Tell us everything! If you feel like it, of course. {= D

~Neshomeh

Welcome back. I recognise your name, but don't remember actually knowing you, so who knows? Hi, anyway.

hS

I've been thinking about expanding the Mini page for a couple days now, with stuff like what to consider when inventing a new mini type and what kinds of misspellings generate a mini. However, I keep getting hung up on the fact that the Table of Contents is so huge and disruptive. I could keep it below the rest of the page content, but what I'd really like to do is move the list to its own sub-page, Mini/List of Mini Types, with a link to the list from the main page. Is there support for this, or does anyone have any strong objections?

~Neshomeh

AND I MIS-SPELLED MY OWN NAME.

Wow.

This is what I get for typing quickly and not double-checking.

Hey, guys!

I'm Cerberus Dis, the same one that signed the original board constitution like a million years ago. (When even was that? 2006? Something like that?) It's been a while, and I've been kind of missing the weird and wonderful world of the PPC, so I'm back. Not from outer space, but I wish.

So, yeah, hello!

I don't have an agent pair that would willingly own him, but I might in the future.

Well, I don't really know anything about the SW Extended Universe. On the other hand, I know people who do, and from the first chapter alone, there might be enough entertaining writing errors to make this worthwhile on that basis alone. (The ship gets stuck in a planet's atmosphere? What? {X D ) Plus, of course, the prospect of making Nume be a pony. *g*

I'll have to read some more of the fic to be sure, but you can put me down as a strong "maybe." {= D

~Neshomeh

I should adopt the attitude that everything that happened was my fault. It is not completely truth, but I should try to accept it anyway. Failing that, I MUST forgive the board of any perceived trespasses before moving forward.

I accept that I am exceptional. I am special as in special education. Most of the "rules" that I should operate under are givens for just about everyone else.

I will shut up about it.

I apologize for seeming to be impossible to reason with. I am listening. There is still some lingering "treating you as you've treated me" going on; I will break that habit and start fresh.

I get the feeling that there are some things that I've done as Bramandin that should be apologized for, but I can't identify them. If you want an apology, now is the time to point it out. I truly do not understand.

When I come back, it will be as TooPurple. This is not meant to confuse anyone, but it will be symbolic of me separating myself from the past. http://www.tarot-reading.net/tarot_cards/major/13.htm I should stay away until I am reborn. zdimensia and Bramandin can be treated as ghosts.

Spoiler SPOILER spoiler spoilER SPOILer sPoIlEr SpOiLeR spOILer Spoilerman Does Whatever A Spoiler Can don't spoil my er How do you solve a problem like a spoiler? Spoi spoi spoi spoi spoiler SPAAAAAAAACE! Sorry about him. ~spoiler blockSpoiler SPOILER spoiler spoilER SPOILer sPoIlEr SpOiLeR spOILer Spoilerman Does Whatever A Spoiler Can don't spoil my er How do you solve a problem like a spoiler? Spoi spoi spoi spoi spoiler SPAAAAAAAACE! Sorry about him. ~spoiler block

I got "cybernetic beings" and then started focusing on hands, even after seeing someone mentioned hybrids.

I guess that most of the Plumber's kids from http://ben10.wikia.com/wiki/Ben10:Alien_Force could come, but Ben himself is a question because he presents as pure human despite having an alien grandmother. Gwen, his cousin, does take after her grandmother.

do a bit of research into Lovecraft, before doing a Lovecraft-styled RPG? Read the fellow a bit? Man's got some bloody well good stories, let me tell you!

I mean, Iunno. I say this as a turbosnob with zero life at all whatsoever, but there's a whole lot of things to Lovecraft's stuff beyond 'tentacleguy that makes you crazy when you look at him.' Not that he owns the concept or will rise from the grave and slap you for doing it without researching or anything, but if you're stating him as an influence, it's helpful, y'know?

"To 1): I used "block" because it was a technically accurate word for what I was proposing and because it wasn't "ban" (which didn't feel like the right word at the time). I didn't mean to imply that a block is a super-ban or anything like that. Sorry about the miscommunication.

"To 2): It seems that having the Nameless Admin block people who /ask to be blocked/ is a reasonable and obvious extension of their powers as currently defined. I don't object (probably wouldn't have proposed it if I did).

"To 3): Yeah, the unblock would be a matter for consensus. However, I envision that the unblock will have a smaller threshold (no one commenting is approval, for example) than, say, a ban or a constitutional amendment.

"- Tomash"