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But I don't want to melt!

Economic Left/Right: 1.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.36

Not nearly as far right as I expected given my free market views. Maybe I just didn't answer quite strongly enough to swing over to the far side of the spectrum.

A newbie! Yay! Here, have this Royal Ice Cream Container! Close lid, say flavor, open lid, voila, ice cream! Oh, slight problem with this one, though. If you have a song playing in the background, music notes will start flying everywhere when you open it, so be careful!

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts. Another useful resource you might use is

Hi. I'm really bad at introductions and don't quite know what I'm supposed to write here, but I'll do my best. I've just stumbled upon the PPC and think it would be a great way to improve my fiction writing and roleplaying skills. My girlfriend is a much better writer and roleplayer than I am, and I'm frankly insulted by how amazing she is. So that's the primary reason. The second is because I like the concept-- I've come across some horrible fanfiction in my time, and I'm honestly surprised that some of it hasn't been sporked by someone already. Anyway, I found this community via TV Tropes. My main fandoms are the Doctor Who universe, Firefly/Serenity, and Animorphs. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all.

When I was listening to Smash Mouth earlier today, I got a sudden flash of inspiration from a certain line, and... this was the result.

oh god please don't laugh at my shrill voice or awkward lyrics

Why has nobody else thought about making a giant wand?

Of course, we could then get into the implications of what a wand is supposed to represent.

And the answer is simple. Donald Trump. When the Republican Party nominated him, I wanted to get as far away from him as possible. I could no longer even remotely support a Republican Party that nominated him. And so that caused me to reevaluate my stances on most things. And so I determined that the Democrats were offering an infinitely more reasonable platform so I shifted accordingly. The biggest changes for me was actually Taxes and Gun Control. After San Bernardino I decided enough was enough, something needed to change.

As for taxes, I decided that right now the US Tax Code is an issue, too many people who do not need tax breaks get them, and cutting spending alone is not going to be enough to fix the budget problems. So the US needs to raise taxes and there is lot of very wealthy people who can afford higher taxes and don't pay much if at all. I also determined that on an economic scale, trimming bloat from Government Programs is a better choice than getting rid of them altogether.

The other part of it is, that with Trump's rise, I went back looking at my own personal stances on many issues, and I realized that some of my previous held arguments did not seem to hold water, and when I could not find a better reason to maintain that stance, I adjusted accordingly. And so I wound up shifting left.

They can join the Sasquatch in oblivion.

That said, and though it will make Olivander squirm, there's no reason to use his three pet cores. The evidence suggests that basically any magical critter can be sliced up and used for wand cores. What's the most common, infest-y magical beast around? If they're hairy, you don't even have to kill them - just shave them and use that.

Planes stuffed with magic rat hair... well, at least it gives Newt something to do.

hS

But, um, where are you getting the wand... cores...

Wait.

Since you don't need a fuel tank, you could - rather than a single dragon heartstring - have one or more dragon hearts.

I'm turning the entire plane into a flying wand able to cast megaton-level spells. "A wizard's reach should exceed his grasp..."

hS

If it was me, I'd cast a lightening charm on the bag, just in case you're handing it out to, say, some skinny little herbert half-dead from going through a wizarding tournament and a fight with a demented terrorist. =]

Just cast the same suite of charms you cast on a racing broom, only a load more of them. I mean, if one admittedly-obsessive bloke working in his back garden can get a Ford Anglia airborne reliably enough that children can pilot it from London to whichever midge-infested Scotch boghole Hogwarts squats in, then a team of wizards churning out planes for the War Effort can probably do a hell of a lot more. Plus, this is all before the ban on flying carpets, which (with the addition of shield, warming, and Bubble-Head charms for altitude) would have made amazing transport planes for Resistance supplies and paratroopers.

...

Nerrr-NER-ner-ner-nernernerner-NERRRRR-ner-ner-ner-nernernerner...

I must be imagining that gold is heavier than it is. I know it's heavier than it looks, but I have no notion of what that actually means in terms of the physics/math involved.

Apparently there was a bag of 1,000 Galleons mentioned in canon, which I had forgotten about: the Triwizard Cup Prize. And it seems Harry tosses it onto his bedside table without serious incident at some point, so it can't be too heavy.

This essay reckons a Galleon has a diameter of 19 millimetres (3/4 inch) and a thickness of 0.5 millimetres, with a mass of 1.98 grams. What do you think of their reasoning?

~Neshomeh has no head for numbers.

Unfortunately, I don't think it's very practical, for one big reason: humans are jerks.

You say that you think it's wrong for people to force others to do things by force. That is, in my opinion, a fantastic thing to believe - I'm sure most people here believe something similar - but there are some people who just don't care about morals. They'd do what they wanted, because there'd be no risk of punishment. The only way to put a stop to it would be to force them to stop by force.

On government: the way I see it, a government is an organisation (non-profit, which might be anathema to your capitalist ideals, but bear with me) which has the purpose of making life better for the people living in the area it administrates. Yes, sometimes it uses force or implied threats to force its citizens to act in specific ways, but, in general, it only does this for situations where the actions of a person or group of persons would infringe on the well-being (/rights) of another - which, to my mind, is the exception to the "forcing people to do things is wrong" rule.

So I really disagree with the idea that government is immoral. Do you have any thoughts on any of my points? I'd love to hear any solutions your philosophy might provide.

A gold sovereign weighs around 8g. That means the bag would weigh 8kg, roughly 17 1/2 pounds. That's easily liftable - imagine picking up two cats (and then laugh at the mental image, because srsly) - but not something you want to wander around with.

Unless, of course, you have a magic weight-reducing bag. Doesn't Hermione cart one of those around?

I don't know how much a Galleon actually weighs, though - hence the approximation. A sovereign is an inch across; if it's twice that size, then you're talking four times the mass, and suddenly we're carting around 70 lb in one hand, which is apparently illegal if you're under 16. Also it's the weight of a medium-sized child.

So still doable.

hS

And then, more to the point, how much would one thousand Galleons weigh? I need to know because a character in a fic I'm sporking drops a bag of 1,000 Galleons on Cornelius Fudge's desk. Naturally, my agents are inclined to steal it, and I'm wondering if they could even lift it unassisted.

~Neshomeh

Imagine - you stuff it full of whatever the magical-creature-derived-product you can get in the largest quantities is. Doesn't matter if it's virtually a magical null, the sheer amount in there means that when you press your hand to the side of the cockpit and yell "Expelliamus!", the entire enemy army simultaneously have their weapons thrown halfway across the battlefield.

Of course, wand-trees are rare... but that may be because they were all cut down to make planes, no? ... no?

hS

Basically, just put in more positive reactions to Charlotte's attention. I realize a lot of it is because of the nightmare, but this story has a lot of negative or at best neutral ones, and only one that I can construe as good. Just for the sake of comparison, I'll sort them into categories:

Negative

1. “I’m not going to eat you,” Charlotte said, reaching out to give Ix a hug, but pulling back when she flinched.



2. Charlotte put a hand under Ix’s chin. “Hey. Are you okay?”
   
   “I’m fine,” Ix said, a little more sharply than she meant to. She brushed Charlotte’s hand away and opened a portal.



3. “You’d know,” Charlotte said teasingly, poking Ix in the side. “I swear, you’re just skin and bones.”
   
   Ix was not amused. “My parents lost a lot of money trying to pay for my medical bills after every monthly transformation. There were a lot of nights we’d all go to bed hungry.”
   
   Charlotte swallowed. “Sorry, I… I didn’t realize.”
   
   Ix just looked away.



4. Charlotte gasped. “You wound me, Ix! You wound me deeply!”
   
   “Sorry,” Ix mumbled, looking away.
   
   Charlotte frowned. “Hey, I’m just joking,” she said. “You don’t need to apologize.”
   
   “Sorry,” Ix said again, hunching her shoulders.
   
   Charlotte put a hand on Ix’s cheek. “Hey. Look at me.” When Ix did, she said, “You’re fine, you know that? I like bantering with you. It’s fun. Don’t apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong.”
   
   “So—”



5. “But hon, don’t sell yourself short. Look at you, you were on the path to become the first werewolf Auror! That’s gotta take guts!”
   
   “It was mostly cowardice,” Ix mumbled, looking away. [Etc.]



6. “Well, it’s hardy your fault if you smell good enough to eat,” Charlotte said, then winced. “Sorry, that was in bad taste, wasn’t it?”
   
   “Just a bit,” Ix said with a shudder, realizing she’d reached up to rub her ear as she spoke.
   
   “Sorry,” Charlotte repeated. She took Ix’s hand and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “You know I won’t ever eat you, right?”
   
   “Truly, you know how to charm a girl,” Ix said dryly. Still she pulled her hand away.



7. Charlotte elbowed her, cringing when Ix jumped at the touch.

Neutral

1. “If you need anything, I’ll be in the other room,” Charlotte said, putting a hand on Ix’s shoulder. When Ix still didn’t react, she sighed and got up.



2. Despite this, Charlotte still somehow found a way to drape an arm over Ix’s shoulders. [No reaction from Ix is described, positive or negative.]



3. ... leaving Charlotte holding her partner when she lost her balance and fell over. Ix felt her face redden when she looked up at Charlotte, who was grinning at her.
   
   “Walk much?” Charlotte said, helping Ix back on her feet and kissing her lightly on the nose.
   
   Ix just blushed and straightened her robes, too flustered to respond. [She could be pleased, or just embarrassed. It's unclear. But since she's sensitive about her appearance and condition, I'd lean toward embarrassed.]



4. Charlotte looked like she could have kissed her. “Ix, you’re a genius!”
   
   Ix blushed. “Not really, but thank you.” [As above, she could be pleased, but her behavior so far makes me think she's embarrassed and just being polite.]



5. Hesitantly, she [got on Charlotte's back], and involuntarily let out a scream of exhilaration as Charlotte took off ... [Etc. The scream of exhilaration is involuntary; no telling whether she actually enjoys this ride or not, or whether she got on board because she really wanted to or because she felt she couldn't turn it down.]

Positive

1. “If you say sorry one more time, I’m kissing you to make you stop,” Charlotte said, mock-threateningly.
   
   “Good luck doing it with that nose,” Ix said, tapping her own long, pointed nose. [This only barely edges into the positive category for being the one time Ix actually engages with Charlotte's affection instead of freezing or actively rejecting it. It could still be Ix trying to avoid and divert, though; I'm being generous because Charlotte seems to take it as genuine humor.]

So you see, the balance is wildly off.

Some of the neutral reactions could be made positive by the addition of a smile, a fluttering heartbeat, a warm feeling in her stomach, or just describing her thoughts if it's not out of place in the scene. Even the negative ones could be mitigated by a line here and there explaining that Ix knows Charlotte is trying to help and she appreciates it, she's just not in a place to accept it just then because the memory of the assault is too fresh, or whatever her feelings are. (And of course, telling Charlotte her feelings instead of leaving her in the dark would be a good idea if they're going to be a supportive couple, too.)

So, that's my two cents. I hope it helps. {= )

~Neshomeh

... I'll let the offense to the Wooden Wonder slide.

Though, considering it was a wooden airplane so good that the Nazi went crazy thinking "We struggle to make aircraft with the scarce aluminium we have, and they build a superior one with WOOD?", I have to suspect it was made from racing broom-grade wood...

First off, sorry this took literal days to reply on. Darned Board pushing things further down the front page. I don't really have an answer for the SPaG stuff except to fix it and make sure I don't make that mistake in the future, but I can explain the point about Jack having a 9-5 job. Jack used to work in Internal Affairs, and what I've seen of that Department led me to believe that it did function more like a regular office than the PPC usually does.

But yeah, any part you want read, sign me up! I don't know the first thing about the source material, but neither did the author of Blood Raining Night, so I'm in good company there. =]