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Suicides (Suicide\Suicide's), from Tungsten Monk's copy of Stephen Pressfield's Gates of Fire. That's the dubious and probably-not-a-good-idea-to-repeat way in which we got Agent Suicide. {= ) Sadly, I have no idea what printing or what page.

I'm sure I've seen characters' names (and other words) misspelled in the Horus Heresy books, too, but I haven't bothered to keep track so far. I reckon mass-produced franchise books are ripe for this sort of thing.

~Neshomeh

Hey there, all;

if any of you are looking at this and considering buying anything, please send me a message including your name and e-mail address so I can give you a free $5 gift certificate! If you're not on the Discord, my preferred e-mail address is animechanlives@gmail.com.

(And, to be totally honest, this isn't all because I love you guys and want to save you money on delicious teas. Each certificate redeemed gives me reward points. So if someone else were to make an account, I would be happy to just swap gift certificates back and forth, if the site allows that.)

"I knew Fifty Shades was horrid, but I still thought THAT was a charge!"

I could see the Detective getting pulled into the situation surprisingly easily.

He'd be disgruntled and snarky about all the"Time Lord bureaucracy"and whatnot, obviously, since he's probably violently allergic to paperwork and procedure (Which mean scenes between the Detective and the Notary ought to be especially interesting :P).

But he would most definitely be interested in figuring out why she went missing. He doesn't call himself the Detective for nothing, after all.

I could also see him being very attracted to the Council afterwards, given that strange and mysterious things for him to puzzle out have a tendency to happen with a healthy regularity when it comes to their meetings.

The Detective runs pell-mell into the room.

"So sorry I'm late. Saw someone running dramatically down a corridor. I usually like things that make people run dramatically down corridors. Thought I'd turn up and make a day of it. What seems to be the drama?"

Obligatory sheet-anchor: this all goes back to the powers of the Three, about which we have few firm statements. So I'm going to have to speculate quite a bit here. We do know that all three could ward off the decays of time and postpone the weariness of the world ('Of the Rings of Power').

Nenya is the Ring of Adamant, and is also connected to water (hence its name). We know, or think, that it directly protected Lothlorien, as well as altering the flow of time there.

We know that Sauron and Galadriel directly contended (Galadriel mentions it at the Mirror), but I don't know that he can have the same sort of interaction with Lorien as a whole. Certainly if Dol Guldur came out to attack the Golden Wood, they'd notice a difference, but I don't think it's necessarily true to say Sauron could perceive it from a distance.

Narya is the Ring of Fire, and Cirdan helpfully tells us (well, Gandalf) exactly what it does:

...but in all it will support thee and defend thee from weariness. For this is the Ring of Fire, and herewith, maybe, thou shalt rekindle hearts to the valour of old in a world that grows chill. ('Of the Rings of Power')

So you're exactly right that Narya could help in the battles of the North. Would that help save Gondor? I feel like the time-lag might mean they only get there to interrupt the Orcs' victory feast - though if the Lord of the Nazgul was elsewhere, Minas Tirith could probably stand a long siege, so that's a possible.

Whether Gandalf would surrender Nenya to Eowyn is an interesting question, but on balance I think not. Galadriel said:

Did not Gandalf tell you that the rings give power according to the measure of each possessor? Before you could use that power you would need to become far stronger, and to train your will to the domination of others. (FotR)

While Gandalf might like to send Narya with the Fellowship, none of the members of the party would be able to wield it effectively. (The same, sadly, goes for giving Vilya to Arwen.)

But Nenya is definitely there, and Galadriel does imply that its powers include hiding. It's also thematically appropriate for water to be a concealment - this goes back to Tuor, who was given a cloak of invisibility by Ulmo. So yes, they probably could get through the Gap unseen.

Without Gandalf, I think you're right that Theoden would be too 'help help, I'm old and feeble' to do much good - but without a month's stay in Lorien, the Fellowship would reach Rohan long before the Battle of the Fords of Isen. Saruman wouldn't yet have openly declared his army of Uruks - and Theodred, Theoden's son, would still be alive.

It is noteworthy that at this time, there was no First Marshal of the Mark - the position of 'supreme commander' of Rohan lay fallow (because of Theoden's weakness and Grima's influence). But the Second and Third Marshals, Theodred and Eomer, showed that they were definitely willing to take the fight to Isengard.

The image I'm getting here is of a War of the Ring made up not of brief, heroic battles, but of a string of sieges. The North lays siege to Dol Guldur. Rohan lays siege to Isengard. Sauron, alerted by Saruman, sends out his own armies and besieges Minas Tirith. And all of this takes place in January (yikes!). The armies of southern Gondor have not yet been mustered - but nor have Sauron's Southrons and Easterlings (and Corsairs) arrived. They'll be trickling in over the next couple of months, and who arrives where and when is likely to be critical.

One thing I'm even surer of now is that the Fellowship has to go through South Gondor. Ithilien is going to fall quickly, and everything east of Anduin and north of Minas Tirith is going to be stuffed with Orcs. The only hope of maintaining secrecy is to get down to what Sauron thinks of as the back-lines, and hope to avoid all the troops coming up from the south.

(Which may not be as hard as I'd supposed; I forgot the month in Lorien when I worked out the timings before. I think, if all goes well, they'll still hit Mordor sometime in March.)

hS

"It'd be awesome if you/Scape/Aegis/Zing/any other Time Lord owners wrote the next part of this scene, so we can find out where it goes!"

Actually I'm pretty sure it's just me who says that.

(And I'm not sure the Council can be disrupted too much... ;))

hS

We need to write more ConCou stuff, I'd forgotten how much fun they were. The Guardsman definitely doesn't want anything to do with the Council's squabbling, but I don't think the Detective ever said anything about it... I could ask Aegis if only to see if we could make things even more awkward between our characters.

Elanor would probably disrupt the Council too much with her screaming if she had to be near the Notary. =]

Hobbits who need their brains running at maximum efficiency to avoid becoming wretched wraiths, eating HALLUCINOGENIC mushrooms!? Artanis/Frodo and Aragorn/Éowyn shipping!? Éomer a continuation of the Second Line!? Bag End ISN'T a smial!? Gimli abuse!?
And it seems that Boorman knew very little about horses. One human and four hobbits on one of them? The Hominidae aren't exactly lightweight species by primate standards. Also, even Evelyn from "Your Unhappy Elladan" had enough sense not to make Shadowfax a PLOWHORSE!

However, at least Boorman din't have the Eagles of Manwë every-[Westron expletive]-where*, or SAM REFUSING TO STICK A PIN IN SHELOB!

And then there's the talking Balrog. As Tolkien put it, "Z[immerman] may think he knows more about Balrogs than I do, but he can hardly expect me to agree with him."

*The fact that Saruman felt safe keeping Gandalf on the rooftop meant that Gwaihir was outside his calculations.

[We open on the Really Very Tiny Auditorium, currently serving as the meeting-room of the Continuity Council of Gallifrey-in-Exile. The room centres on a large circular table, on one side of which is a not-terribly-large television. Crammed in along the other side are most of the current membership of the Council: Tigereye Castellan Morgan, Citrine Theorist Reader, Sapphire Watcher Disentangler, Amethyst Keeper Agent, Spinel Promotor Notary, and Moonstone Sentry Aviator.]

[The last few notes of the Doctor Who closing theme ring out, and then the Disentangler points a remote at the screen and flicks the TV off.]

Disentangler: Well. What do we think?

Reader: I quite liked it.

Morgan: Do you think we could get our hands on a couple of Gathering Coils? You know, for monitoring purposes. We could probably engineer out their less savoury features…

Agent: That’s you and the Doctor going all crazy-inventor on us; come to think of it, Lachesis tends that way too. Is there something about Time Ladies that predisposes them to mad science?

Aviator: [Raises her hand] Last I checked, I wasn’t ever a mad scientist.

Morgan: [Snorts] Kid, you’re in the PPC. We’re all mad here.

Aviator: ‘Kid’? Excuse me, we’re the same age – or no, I’m fifty years older than you. Just because you met me when I was still a child…

Morgan: That depends entirely on how you count it.

Disentangler: [To the Agent] Oh Rassilon, here we go.

Morgan: [Lecturing tone] Given how perfectly possible it is for us to 'age' hundreds of years while stuck in one place – didn’t the Fisherman put in a couple of decades last year in a badly-handled timeslip? - I've always preferred to count by Gallifreyan timeline. I know you're a bit of a special case-

Reader: Aren’t we all?

Morgan: -but unless you're claiming to have been around for the Sontaran invasion, I claim the right to call you ‘kid’ anyway.

Disentangler: So does that mean I get to be condescending to you, Orange?

Morgan: No.

Agent: No, she’s right; that logically follows from-

Morgan: [Hurriedly] But to be honest I've kind of lost track anyway; my last regeneration was pretty bad at keeping her diary. I feel 400, and that's what counts.

Notary: [To the ceiling] I could kill her now. No record-keeper in history would convict me.

[Morgan shoots a look at the Notary]

Morgan: Anyway. I'm pretty sure the Time Lady who managed to temporarily de-age the entire Continuity Council - somehow, I'm still trying to get to the bottom of that, if only to put a stop to Grey's badgering - doesn't get to deny being a mad scientist.

Aviator: [Cringes] Oh, god, I’d been trying to forget about that. Um… confession time? That was a potion I'd nicked out of a mission. I was supposed to take it to the DMSE&R when Grey ambushed me and dragged me to the Council. So that one wasn't even my doing.

Reader: And no-one blames you for it – do they, Morgan?

Morgan: I mean, it’s still- all right, all right, no.

Reader: See, Aviator? It’s fine.

Aviator: I guess… as for the Sontaran Invasion: alright, no, I wasn't around for that, but neither were a lot of us.

Agent: [Raises hand] I was.

Disentangler: Shh, she’s having a moment.

[The Aviator shoots them a look]

Aviator: [Firmly] I still served three centuries in the Time War and lost one in that loop. So, technically, Morgan, you do have me by a century. Still doesn't make me a child, though, thank you very much.

Notary: [Sniffs] No, Moon Moon, that would be your attitude.

Morgan: [Turning to the Notary] Oh, come on, Grey. It's not even that I disagree with you about certain people acting young (though not so young as Fish, thank Omega), but do you deliberately sit down and think up the most provocative way to say things? Honestly, between you and Green-

[She stops dead. The Aviator winces. The Reader closes her eyes and lowers her head. The Disentangler bites her lip as if to keep from saying something ascerbic.]

Morgan: Oh. Yeah. Between you and... you... I don't know, I've lost track of my sentence. [She sighs] I think I need a drink.

Notary: You say that like you’re ever not in need of a drink.

[The Notary shakes her head slowly]

Notary: In answer to your question, though, I... do that. A lot. I am reliably informed it is a defence mechanism, designed to prevent unwarranted- [She jerks her head to the side] unwanted intimacy on the part of my peers whom otherwise might engender vulnerability in me, which is something I have trained myself to view as abhorrent and unnatural behaviour. It is reflexive, and I am only now learning to reject that reflex, and it is far harder than I am willing to admit. [Thin smile] Can you tell I've been seeing a therapist?

[A brief silence ensues, broken by:]

Agent: Watch out, gang! The Notary's been replaced by a pod person! I’m guessing some sort of shape-shifter? Or a Raxacoricofallapatorian criminal, they like that sort of thing.

Disentangler: [Long-suffering sigh] Oh, come on, Adil, you can see she's trying.

Agent: Hey, I never said I was complaining. I'm all for the pod person; can think of a few other people I'd like to see get the same treatment.

Disentangler: Has it occured to you that bugging her like this is just going to make her stop trying to be... well, I'm not sure if 'nice' is the word...

Agent: Good point! Counterpoint: it's pretty funny when she drives Orange and White up the wall, so what's my motivation for encouraging her to change?

Disentangler: Maybe you're just a good person?

Agent: ... I don't think that sounds like me.

Disentangler: No, forget I said anything.

Notary: [Exaggerated sigh] Yes, obviously I am Jennifer Lawrence caked in blue sludge. Are we actually intending to open this meeting at any point?

Disentangler: I already did that, back before we screened the new Doctor Who. Remember?

Notary: ‘Hey, check this out’ is not an appropriate way to commence a meeting.

Reader: Shouldn’t we wait for Fish to get back, anyway?

Morgan: Yes, where did he run off to, anyway?

Aviator: He said that since he’d already watched the episode, he was going to look for someone… I don’t think he said who.

Notary: Well, if he wanted to be counted present, he should have made sure he was back on time. I move that we-

[A clattering of running feet, and the Fisherman bursts through the door.]

Agent: [To the Disentangler] Do you think she knew that was going to happen?

Disentangler: [To the Agent] Nah, you’re giving her too much credit; it’s just Narrative Comedy again.

Fisherman: [Breathless] I found her! I found her at last! It took forever, but I’ve finally found her!

Morgan: Slow down, Red… found who?

Fisherman: Green! I found Green.

[Once again, the reactions around the table range from the shocked to the resigned to the mildly amused. Morgan glanced round and then leans towards the Fisherman.]

Morgan: Fisherman, Green’s gone; none of us like that, but we have to accept it. There’s no call to go pulling future incarnations of him – or her – out of the timestream; in fact I’m pretty sure it’s directly against the purpose of this Council.

Reader: [Quietly] Yes, but that was the Jade Warden’s responsibility to monitor.

Morgan: So why don’t you take her back, slot her back into her timeline, and we’ll say no more about it?

[The Fisherman looks from Morgan to the Reader in increasing bewilderment]

Fisherman: What in Rassilon’s name are you on about?

[He pulls the door open, and a tall redhead in a Star Trek uniform edges through.]

Fisherman: I found Green. Natalie Green. The missing DORKS Time Lady. Remember?

[Natalie looks over the bewildered Continuity Council and gives a small wave.]

Natalie: Yo. What’s up?

---

Because these things are crazy fun, and the conversation so far was pretty easy to work into a scene. I've tweaked my claim that Fish lost 200 years - it seemed excessive - but mostly I've let things stand.

'Green' (in most instances) is the Librarian, who retired nearly a year ago. Natalie Green was turned into a Time Lady back in '09 (I think she's actually the very first DORKS Time Lady); she's snarky. The other Time Lords still in HQ that I know of are the Guardsman and the Detective (who are both well-known to the Council, and I think have both turned down offers to join), and Ellie (who is nearly two, but would probably make an adorable Councillor).

I have no idea what happens next, but I'm hoping someone has some good ideas. ^_^

hS

((he just doesn't like them, so refuses to spell it right. ^_^ Or maybe it was a typo. ~hS))

It's spelled Raxacoricofallapatorian, jsyk =]

I had a junior high unit study of The Lord of the Rings that tried to refer to Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli as "The Threee Hunters". For some reason it stuck with me all this time.

My copy of The Lord of the Rings also misspells the name of some elf or other at one point, but I don't remember where or who, unfortunately. I missed it on my last rereading.

Maybe some sort of shape-shifter? Or a Raxicoricofalapatorian criminal, they like that sort of thing.

{Oh, come on, Adil, you can see she's trying.}

Hey, I never said I was complaining. I'm all for the pod person; can think of a few other people I'd like to see get the same treatment.

{Has it occured to you that bugging her like this is just going to make her STOP trying to be... well, I'm not sure if 'nice' is the word...}

Good point! Counterpoint: it's pretty funny when she drives Orange and White up the wall, so what's my motivation for encouraging her to change?

{Maybe you're just a good person?}

... I don't think that sounds like me.

{No, forget I said anything.}

In answer to your question, though, I... do that. A lot. I am reliably informed it is a defence mechanism, designed to prevent unwarranted -- unwanted intimacy on the part of my peers whom otherwise might engender vulnerability in me, which is something I have trained myself to view as abhorrent and unnatural behaviour. It is reflexive, and I am only now learning to reject that reflex, and it is far harder than I am willing to admit.

Can you tell I've been seeing a therapist?

It's not even that I disagree with you about certain people acting young (though not so young as Fish, thank Omega), but do you deliberately sit down and think up the most provocative way to say things? Honestly, between you and Green-

Oh. Yeah. Between you and... you... I don't know, I've lost track of my sentence. I think I need a drink.

typo (correct spelling), source

Laner (Lanier), from Greg Bear's Eon

~

A bunch of mini-Hunters out of the Halo universe:

Librae 23 (23 Librae), from Tobias Buckell's The Cole Protocol

Adrienne (Adriana), from The Cole Protocol

Jagger (Jaggers), from Eric Nylund's The Fall of Reach

USNC (UNSC), appearing eleven times so far that I've encountered, including on a box in Halo 3. Not going to list all the novels and short stories.

Kilo (Kiko), from Tobias Buckell's "Dirt"

Cuidad de Arias (Ciudad de Arias), from Fred Van Lente's "Blunt Instruments"

McCraw (MacCraw), from Jeff VanderMeer and Tessa Kum's "The Mona Lisa"

MAB5 (MA5B), from Eric Nylund's Ghosts of Onyx

~

Rassselas (Rasselas), from Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre

Iluvatar (Ilúvatar), from Tolkien's The Silmarillion

Ocs (Orcs), from The Silm again

Montage (Montag), from Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451

Cheno (Chen), from Douglas Preston's Blasphemy

Kublia Khan (Kublai Khan), from James Rollins's The Judas Strain

Asaph Saywer (Asaph Sawyer), from Lovecraft's "Into the Vault"

Ourkranos (Oukranos), from Lovecraft's The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath

Adbul Alhazred (Abdul Alhazred), from Lovecraft's The Thing on the Doorstep (Like, they got the hard part of his name right?!)

Gengis Khan (Genghis Khan), from Chris Stewart's The Fourth War (Those poor Khans!)

Thundercap Station (Thunderclap Station), from Stephen King's The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower

Jello-O (Jell-O), from Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

~

How about a mess of mini-Atogs out of Magic: the Gathering?

Mach (Macha), from Mark Shepherd's "Gathering the Taradomnu"

For's River (Fors River), from the above

horned octipus (horned octopus), from Billie Sue Mosiman's "The Theft of Bayende, Heart and Soul"

Teriel (Telier), from Morgan Llywelyn's "Dryad's Kiss"

Vashino (Viashino), from Mark Sumner's The Prodigal Sorcerer

Aligaurius (Aligarius), from same as above

~

Iliipoi (Iliiopoi), from Jack London's "The Bones of Kahekili"

Hams (Hans), from Jules Verne's A Journey to the Center of the Earth

Luisades (Lusiades), from Verne's In Search of the Castaways

Captain's King's (Captain King's), from Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea

Nkosi Sikelel' i Africa (Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrica), from Bryce Courtenay's The Power of One

All Quite on the Western Front (All Quiet on the Western Front) I BET YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHERE THIS WAS FROM

And finally, the kamikaze memorial inside the U.S.S. Missouri misspelled real person Petty Officer Second Class Setsuo Ishino's first name as "Setuo."

For the record, I do have notations for all of these; I just didn't have time to type it all out.

—doctorlit spends his free time in valuable and productive ways

Um... confession time? That was a potion I'd nicked out of a mission. I was supposed to take it to the DMSE&R when Grey ambushed me and dragged me to the Council.

So that one wasn't even my doing.

As for the Sontaran Invasion: Alright, no, I wasn't around for that, but neither were a lot of us. I still served three centuries in the Time War and lost one in that loop. So, technically, you do have me by a century. Still doesn't make me a child, though, thank you very much.

Given how perfectly possible it is for us to 'age' hundreds of years while stuck in one place - I think the Fisherman put on a couple of centuries in a badly-handled time-jump a couple of years back - I've always preferred to count by Gallifreyan timeline. I know you're a bit of a special case (aren't we all?), but unless you're claiming to have been around for the Sontaran invasion, I claim the right to condescend anyway.

(To be honest I've kind of lost track anyway; my last regeneration was pretty bad at keeping her diary. I feel 400, and that's what counts.)

Anyway. I'm pretty sure the Time Lady who managed to temporarily de-age the entire Continuity Council - somehow, I'm still trying to get to the bottom of that, if only to put a stop to Grey's badgering - doesn't get to deny being a mad scientist.

Actually, I'm fifty years older than you.

Just because you met me when I was still a child...

*grumbles*

(Zeb: "Didn't you once jury-rig the Pirates cannon with—?"

"That doesn't count.")

First of all, your kids sound adorable. Glad yours were able to sit through the episode, though Elanor falling asleep within the first half an hour was preferable to screaming through it.

As for this so-called vendetta against nurses, I present to you Rory the Roman, who... actually got killed off quite a bit. You might have a point, now that I think about it.

And the 456 extend human children's lifespans to possibly centuries beyond what they would originally live—they get to stay as children forever. No hunting involved. Just, you know, being held on the cusp of life and death and being pumped for endorphines instead of just held in stasis.

A deliberate nickname is one thing - I don't think we have a mini-Balrog named Leggy, for instance. But getting the name wrong because you misheard or misread it is a classic way to create a mini. Heck, my own Thanduril came into being because I wrote his name from memory and got it wrong.

hS

Probably no more than the Percy Jackson demigods calling Enceladas "Enchiladas". :P