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"The unknown warrior leapt into the air, flipping over a strike from the middle Ringwraith; in the process, they twisted and slashed at the nearest foe, knocking the thing back. Even in the middle of all of that, Frodo saw them wrap their arm around the neck of the wraith who had attempted to stab them, and was treated to a glimpse of the thing's face - shocked at this feat of coordination and lack of respect for the proper rules of a swordfight, much less physics itself - before the leap's momentum caught up and knocked it off its feet. As the warrior landed on their own, they bodily tossed the Nazgûl into the nearest (and, until recently, the most stable) wall of the ruins."

There are now either twelve or thirty-six, depending on whether you follow the Standard Conventional Rules or the Conventional Standard Rules.

While it follows Earth's natural history much more accurately than most such legends do, the elements of deities and chthonic monsters doing battle and changing the course of history worldwide are still there.

Since this takes place long before the main story - which is more character-focused with said deities being external allied forces they communicate with - I guess it's safe to spoil how the ending goes: the Caiman is mortally wounded, but instead of being outright killed he dies peacefully in the company of the Sea Turtle (who is his mate, best not to think about the biology of that 'cuz it's kaiju lore stuff XD). Said Sea Turtle absorbs the Caiman's strength and aspects, and many millions of years later, she becomes the first confirmed deity of the magical world after she gets all the other sea monsters on the planet to help her kill the Kraken for good. There's several other legends I'm currently working on, and I've in fact finished one, but I'm probably gonna have to set up all six myths in order to define the full roster of deity monsters in this setting (at least 22, maximum 24, all of which follow a sort of tarot motif because yay occult and divination!).

And this goes to everybody: I'm also open to beta readers and general feedback from people who are fond of science fantasy, creature design, worldbuilding, speculative fiction, and monsters and kaiju, all of which feature prominently in this project. Hopefully, your feedback may also be helpful in getting me to develop character ideas and plot threads for the actual story, too! Just shoot me an email if you guys are interested in giving it a look. :)

"The river Nechsiv is a raging river that forms part of La Wunj’s natural defences" doesn’t sound plausibel. Reasons:

La Wunj has been listed both as a city in Barony Juliette and in Barony Vixenmage (now Larf). Being a natural border between these baronies, the Nechsiv apparently runs through La Wunj. It may once have been a part of La Wunj’s natural defences before La Wunj expanded across the river. Or it may be a part of La Wunj’s natural defences again, since the cross-river suburbs of La Wunj lay abandoned even if the city’s centre has been repopulated.

La Wunj appears to be a sea harbour, with ships going up the raging river? Or do ships on the Chaett and Iric Routes only go to the port of Landen-zon, at the mouth of the Nechsiv?

HG

It got a Merit for my MA Creative Writing course, so I'd say the finished product lives up to expectations. =]

Violet snickered and started combing his back. “Your fur’s just fine the way it is. Now hold still, I found a knot.” She sprayed it with the conditioner and pulled; the comb slid through with no trouble. “There we go. Thanks for letting me do this.”

And here's something from my FireRed Nuzlocke I need to get back to writing:

“You can’t Jedi mind trick people into helping us every time we don’t get our way!” Natalia scolded Julian once they’d passed the harbor entrance. “Someone’s probably going to call Officer Jenny on us next time, and then she’ll take my trainer card away!”

Rogal Dorn: No. I am Adorable.

(( And I will apparently never get tired of that joke.

(( For those not in the know (i.e. everyone): Phobos and I have determined that the Man-Emperor of Mankind's name is Josh. Because it so is. ^_^

(( ~Neshomeh ))

Pippin definitely considers the cloaks of Lorien magic; just as definitely, the elves of that wood don't. So the question 'are they magic' has a very Elvish answer - 'both yes and no'. To the elves, they're just craft.

I absolutely agree that Tolkien considered magic to mostly be making things, but the people in his world often didn't. No hobbit would say that being able to walk quietly was magical - but Big Folk certainly would! It's one of Tolkien's subtler messages that he snuck in: that magic, to the people who actually practice it, is just normal skill.

(This probably doesn't extend to Luthien pulling a Rapunzel; that's a bit different. Probably. But who knows? Maybe it was all the rage in Doriath back in the day.)

hS

That sounds weird in just the right way, and that bloody paragraph you dropped on doesn't even reveal it - just the build-up!

"Y’know," the boy mused, as if to himself, "I have you figured out now, I think."
The horned one remained silent, even as its fury smoldered, singing the earth beneath its clawed feet.

"You’re strong, yeah. And smarter than they think you are. So you could easily burn me up." He paused, feeling the chill spread outward from his core to his limbs. "But...you won’t. Because that’s not how you operate, is it? No, you want us to unmake ourselves; there’s no point to it otherwise. As far as you’re concerned, there’s no greater pleasure than watching us burn ourselves up from a single spark that you lit." He stopped to check the integrity of the spell-circle. The chalk was beginning to smolder. Normally, this would have alarmed him. But not here. Not now. Because…
"Because there’s always Timeheart."

The horned one cocked its head but said nothing.
"This is why you won’t kill me, Beast. Because if you do, then I still win. I die free of your grasp, unblemished by your fire. I die as myself, rather than what I would be if you won.And that, I think, you wouldn’t stand for. While I am a free being...while my mind is my own...you will not take me. The very fires of Hell will not break my spirit. And I will sing my song to the last, even as I pass on to whatever comes next.
"After all...there are other worlds than these.
"So go on. Kill me. But I will die on my terms, not yours. And I defy you as is my birthright. Not by fighting back...but by refusing to break. And that will hurt you more than any spell of mine ever could."

It seems to me that Tolkien has a very West African attitude towards magic, wherein magic is created by making things rather than saying words. So the answer to your obviously-rhetorical question about whether elven cloaks or mithril armour or sweet-sounding instruments constitute magic is, frankly, yes. They do. Magic-as-magic words is very much a European thing, and does not have the universality that Western fiction ascribes to it.

Also, your comment about whether or not fireworks are magic reminds me that I really, really have to write finish that story plan I wrote up ages ago about Moria and Erebor dwarfs reinventing gunpowder, because those are some excellent parallels and I think it'd make for a more interesting and well-rounded fic. =]

Trent’s back arched and he coughed again, his whole body twisting with release and pain. Again and again he felt the rush come, break over him like waves or a collapsing dune. His face screwed up in shame at feeling any pain at all.

This is a story about a man who goes to a doctor and subsequently has an amazing psychic vision quest through his own spine.

It's a bit odd.

You can, however, look up "Fate Stay/Night." If you are an anime fan, it might be enjoyable.

The Kattekri-tri is a river referencing a "category tree".

The second paragraph is actually from Los Taelis, a military center referencing Neshomeh's collection of "Lost Tales".

Part of the current WIP is putting a reference line in wherever possible.

HG

Do you discuss what Tolkien actually means when he says 'magic'? There's some very telling quotes in the Lothlorien chapters, starting with this from Galadriel:

"[The Mirror] is what your folk would call magic. I believe; though I do not understand clearly what they mean; and they seem also to use the same word of the deceits of the Enemy. But this, if you will, is the magic of Galadriel."

But even more this exchange:

`Are these magic cloaks? ' asked Pippin, looking at them with wonder.

`I do not know what you mean by that,' answered the leader of the Elves. `They are fair garments, and the web is good, for it was made in this land. They are elvish robes certainly, if that is what you mean. Leaf and branch, water and stone: they have the hue and beauty of all these things under the twilight of Lórien that we love; for we put the thought of all that we love into all that we make. Yet they are garments, not armour, and they will not turn shaft or blade. But they should serve you well: they are light to wear, and warm enough or cool enough at need. And you will find them a great aid in keeping out of the sight of unfriendly eyes, whether you walk among the stones or the trees. You are indeed high in the favour of the Lady! For she herself and her maidens wove this stuff; and never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people.'

Is it magic to weave so much of your environment into a cloak that it can render someone nearly invisible? Is it magic to forge an unbreakable shirt of mithril? Is it magic to make instruments which sound sweeter than a hand-carved pipe, or fireworks which explode gloriously in the sky? How much magic is there in the outer wall of Minas Tirith, built from unbreakable stone, or in Elrond's healing abilities? And how much in a securely locked and hidden treasure-hoard, or the ability to move in silence and keep out of sight of clumsier folk?

The only flashy, swords-and-sorcery magic in LotR comes either from 'the deceits of the Enemy' as Galadriel says (and even here it is usually 'innate abilities' rather than spells and sorcery), or from the Ringbearers: Gandalf's various tricks with fire, Galadriel's Mirror, Elrond's flooding of the river (with Gandalf's assistance), and the invisibility conferred by the One.

I don't really have a coherent point - just the idea that 'magic', as used by Tolkien, is a term rife with deliberate ambiguity.

As to your other quotes: as a fellow sufferer of alwaysdialogitis, I absolutely sympathise. :)

hS

Let's do it, I think. So I open up the latest chapter of my current project and count down ten paragraphs and what do I get but:

“What’s your name? What are you doing here?”

This is probably the least interesting paragraph in the chapter, unfortunately, and isn't particularly entertaining out of context. So instead I popped open the last project I was working on before this. Ten paragraphs in and:

“What brings you to the Valley?” Estel asked.

At least in this one you can tell what fandom it's fanfic for. That's better, I suppose. So I opened the project I'd been working on before that and finally:

A ripple of surprise swept through the crowd and vanished as quickly as it had arrived. The rabbits glanced at each other and at Svedig and at Edmund, but after only another moment and another two breaths had passed, Roha stepped forward, beckoning the others to follow her. As they approached, Edmund turned away and walked several paces into the wood, where they could converse privately. Once there, he went down on one knee, and the rabbits gathered before him, looking up at him expectantly.

Words! That aren't dialogue! It's a miracle!

This was an interesting exercise, though. I looked at the tenth paragraph on all of my WIPs and usually it's dialogue. This last example was taken from a fanfic where I was pushing for a style different from what I normally do. That probably says something about me as a writer, though I'm not sure what, exactly.

The most interesting tenth paragraph I found was from a more essay-style work:

However, magic is not exclusively reserved for those people. In The Hobbit it’s explicitly stated that the Dwarves know magical spells, according to their needs: “Then they brought up their ponies, and carried away the pots of gold, and buried them very secretly not far from the track by the river, putting a great many spells over them, just in case they ever had the chance to come back and recover them.” Later it’s also implied that both the Dwarves of Erebor and the Men of Dale could enchant objects and often used this ability to enchant toys and musical instruments. The description of Hobbits offered at the beginning of the book also suggests that they have some inherent magical ability: “There is little or no magic about them, except the ordinary everyday sort which helps them to disappear quietly and quickly when large stupid folk like you and me come blundering along, making a noise like elephants which they can hear a mile off.”

She has fifty eyes but keeps all but two of them inside her mouth.

The chaplain is a chaplain of The Church of Saint Chromatophore, from the town of St Chromatophore, both of which don't exist, and neither did she until shortly earlier.

Their ship's thrusters are being clogged up with liquid nighttime, which is the only reason they've had the time to check the hold in the first place.

I pretty much got least interesting parts of the story and setting here! :P

For the first one, magic does actually exist, not that either Rosie or her teacher know at the time. That particular piece of homework won’t be turned in, because the plot gets in the way.

And for the third, the person Clara’s talking to is not Scarlet, or the girl mentioned.

...is that, for a short story with no chapters, 10 paragraphs in is still pretty much setting the scene:

"
Elentur weaved his way through the crowd on the bridge, his friend keeping close behind him. Elentur had not asked him to come – couldn’t have – but Bob had offered, and Elentur would not refuse.
"

...and 10 paragraphs from the end makes no sense out of context:

"
That shut her up for a moment. Then, ‘How dare you?’
"

So here's a couple from in the middle:

"
‘Well, Thia, it turned out that I had more important business here, with my family,’ Elentur said. ‘Allow me to introduce myself more formally: I am Elentur, of House Melaurë; Archmage and Dragon-friend.’
Thia was momentarily taken aback. ‘So you’re the one Mum said came back from the dead,’ she said.
"

So, this hits the tone to be a type of creation myth, and that seems to have been the aim. The Kraken certainly seems to be of the malevolent archetype for the world. I was surprised he survived. I first thought it was indicating he was dying. I think the Caiman did die? Or least didn't move much more in this paragraph. This was a very descriptive phrase "like salami shot from a mortar"