Subject: Hullo, young patty-wand!
Author:
Posted on: 2012-12-31 21:21:00 UTC

I kid of course. You are at least a breadi-knife.
Okay, sorry, I have no memory of going to sleep last night, and I am hungry.
In news actually relevant to the topic, I'd like to welcome you a-board. I have a bright shiny Awkae for you, too. D'aww, look at it. Isn't it pretty?
Remember to provide it with espresso and love, or else it'll reproduce like nobodies business. There is nothing more adorable than a caffeinated asexual ball of an adjective.
I hope to see you around!

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