Can't someone just release a movie without people making bad fan stories right after opening night? It is very insulting to the people who made the film.

I noted how many fanfics there were in The Hobbit section of FF.net before the movie opened... and it is exploding. Before we know it, it will be a 1000 stories, and I don't believe a tenth of that number would be goodfic...

Tashadar is a last name, maybe a self-insert?

Oh joy, more Sues, as if we didn't had enough.

EW GRELVISH. Also, what I don't understand is why she learned to fight with swords if she was in the modern word.

Borimere. I almost had a heart attack.
Borimere and souroman.( 2 new mini-Balrogs!)

Maybe Sauron sent her because he wanted to torture the Fellowship?
He's evil after all.

Erudessa Nuneth. A pretty dumb name, that one.
An elf went to the Shire to be the cook of some hobbit?!?
Why? And she has a twin...
They're going for Fili and Kili, of that I'm certain.
Stupid Mary-Sues.

The last one, oh the last one is so painful to look at!
WHAT THE HECK IS SAURON DOING THERE?
Sauron is a friend of Aragorn.WTF.
The entire badfic makes no sense at all.
I want to spork it so badly!

Here's an in-post piece, from the Department of Intelligence.

*****

Amber Dashel was one of the few Intel Agents who still worked from her RC. She liked it that way, mostly because the sounds of other people trying to deal with what had come up on their screens put her off. A lot. It was much more peaceful in her room as she scanned, assigned and investigated fics (although that bit wasn't always so peaceful, even if she was fairly good at keeping out of sight).

On this particular day, she'd just got back from a quick lunch, bringing with her a coffee that was actually drinkable once she'd added about ten pots of creamer, and sat down at the console when it went off with one of the most ear-splitting [BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]s she had ever heard.

She shrieked, managed to upset the lukewarm coffee down herself, and fumbled for the mute button only for the sound to be replaced by a klaxon-like wailing. A message flashed up on the screen.

[Calling all Spies. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has been released in World One cinemas. We have already received reports of major activity on fanfic websites. Get in there and start investigating! The Action Departments will kill them as fast as resources and weaponry permit. This is a FANFIC EXPLOSION, people! Thank you.

The Sub Rosa.]

Amber stared at the screen, and then groaned and sank her face into her hands. "Well," she muttered eventually, "at least I'm not going to get bored."

Seriously, here's one:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8798902/1/Home
Rating:T
-It was the moment Bilbo shared what home meant to him that Thorin understood the phrase 'home is where your heart is.' It was after Bilbo saved his life that he realized his heart was with Bilbo. Thorin/Bilbo
-In which Thorin is incredibly sappy and I'm too lazy to do HTML to make that look pretty.

And another Sue: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8802761/1/The-Journey
She tells people in the description not to be "harse". I don't think I have to say more.

I find Tolkien-verse Sues to be both disgusting and boring at the same time. Even if they break the mold, they're still a cliche Sue by being in Middle-Earth.
Since this is probably the new badfic report thread, have some Percy Jackson dreck scraped up from the Circle of Lemmings.

http://www.quotev.com/story/1257169/When-Two-Worlds-Collide-A-Percy-Jackson-Harry-Potter-Crossover-and-l/ Two canons for the price of one! Oh joy! And it's incredibly long.

http://www.quotev.com/story/1955711/The-Forbidden-Daughter-Percy-Jackson-Love-Story/10/ She's the daughter of APOLLO AND ARTEMIS?!?!?!? Twincest, much?

http://www.quotev.com/story/2300377/The-Broken-Vow-A-Percy-Jackson-Story/3/ Excessive linkage. And a circlet that apparently is permanently stuck to her head. Sounds like a Suevenir.

http://www.quotev.com/story/1867111/Percy-Jackson-Love-story/1/ Some sections literally copypasted from The Lightning Thief. Plagiarism! And why are all these fics subtitled "A Percy Jackson love story"? It's like they're screaming "I'M A SUE! PLEASE SPORK ME!"

And a Star Trek fic, but you don't have to know anything about Star Trek to know that it's PPCable. Just read the first line.

That sounds like a PPC version of Warheads. I like eet.

Also, all of these Sues are mind-numbingly stupid. Im'ma go claim one right now. Grr.

Well, given that there are no half-elves as such in Middle-earth - after the First Age anyone with mixed blood is automatically an average human unless he/she is technically an Elf but happens to have human blood (Arwen and her brothers). But known examples of half-elves from the First Age aged just like normal humans (Earendil, Elwing - Dior too, but with Dior the question is still open whether he counts as a half-elf or a full human, I am leaning towards the latter).

As far as why Sauron would send a Sue into Middle-earth? Sauron is evil. Inflicting Mary Sues onto unsuspecting words is evil. Bingo!

The Nobody (A Lord Of The Rings The Hobbit Romance)
-"You know how in school everybody had a nickname, even those who you would think no one would ever see; and how once you have been given a name it can either give you the world or the garbage that nobody wants? Well, I am here to both confirm and disprove that theory for I have a nickname that gives me both the world and the garbage that nobody wants .I Have a Nickname and that is, The Nobody."
-Another reason to hate the Circle of Lemmings is that it lets you just put videos in the middle of the story. It's just... I don't know why anyone would just put the video for the Hobbit trailer after they say they're going to watch it. Also, why is she watching the trailer instead of the actual movie?
Basically, Sue is bullied because she likes reading and then gets sucked into Middle-Earth. Becomes a Fifteenth Walker, has angst issues about her name and consistently calls Gandalf "Gandulf". Fun. And Thorin has this creepy father complex for her and calls her "my child", wtf.

All the rest are LotR, but they're equally bad. They kinda remind me of the Sues from the Original Series, just because they're so stereotyped and bleeegh. I can't speak anymore.

That one just... the closest I've been to that kind of hiking is a one-day thing in Maine and we were back before lunch. I STILL think I could do better at packing, just because I know you don't bring fresh vegetables or tie pots and pans to your pack (without even asking the dwarves what THEY brought) and... Urgh. I just don't even.

Have a MLP badfic:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8686593/1/A-New-Life
Twilight is fed up with her friends after they turn their backs on her at the wedding. So after the defeat of the Changelings she set off to find a new life living with humans. How will she cope with this new land? And is she starting to have feeling for one of her human friends? I DONT OWN MLP OR ANY SONGS I MIGHT PUT IN. I OWN JUST THE OCs AND PLOT and the characters are anthro


And a goodfic:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8746660/1/Sick-Time
Rin does not get sick often. And when she does, she does not take it well, much to the dismay of her beset-upon Archer. But still... there really should be a LIMIT to just how badly a little cold should be taken. Written for Elf. Hi, Elf!