... that's a shark.
((No, it's a Sharpedo.))
It's a shark.
((I promise it's a Pokemon.))
It's a shark. No-one said we were allowed real animals.
((It's a- look, it Mega Evolves into this:))
So now it's a shark with bling.
((It's not a shark!))
It isn't?
((Well, no, it is, but--))
I'm naming this one 'a shark'.
((You can't name them, they're not yo- mine.))
Then I'm nicknaming it.
((You're supposed to be saying how you'd beat it.))
Eh, it's a shark. Get Sauron to levitate it out of the water.
((That... doesn't work in Pokemon.))
Sounds like people haven't been poking their mons properly to me.
((It's not--))
This is like the exodus all over again, you know. 'Oh, wah, we can't get over the sea.' 'Oh, wah, the Teleri won't lend us their boats.' 'Oh, wah, kinslaying isn't kind.'
((Kinslaying isn't kind.))
No, but you lot were still whingy about it.
((Can... can we focus on the Pokemon?))
Fine. Number one: a shark. Drag it out of the water.
((That--))
Or, if we're playing along with the system, get Aglon to punch it. Fighting-type beats Shark-type, right? And it's got -- let's see -- Dark, Water, and Ice to hit Aglon with, none of which are 'super effective' against Aglon. So we win.
((I think it's a bit more complicated than that.))
Then we'll use Swords Dance to make the punch better. NEXT!
That's a skunk. I'm calling this one 'a skunk'.
((Aren't skunks New World animals?))
I spent thousands of years wandering around Middle-earth; you don't think I popped across Bel- the Atlantic a time or two?
So, this one's a skunk. It's Dark and Poisonous. So we send in Salgant, who can hit it with an earthquake.
((Salgant doesn't have Earthquake.))
No, it's called 'Earth Power'. So what? It's still an earthquake. The skunk can only hit Salgant with Dark and Poison, so- wait, hang on. Why can a skunk punch?
((I guess it can just... learn the move?))
Your Internet says it can't.
((Maybe it's thinking outside the box.))
Shut up. Oh, Dark is good against Salgant. Do you think he can avoid being bitten or skunk-punched?
((Probably not, to be honest.))
Then he'd better do whatever he can and... I dunno, send in whoever's handy. Raumo to yell at it or something. NEXT.
((But you didn't come up with a way to beat--))
NEXT.
... so we've gone from normal animals to extinct normal animals. That's obviously some kind of giant reptile. So we'll call it 'a gorgonopsid'. It's half-rock, so... well, hit it. Aglon can do that.
((And if he fails?))
Why would he fail? He's two Feanorians.
((Humour me.))
Salgant could earthquake it again. Or Arnyellë can roll up into a ball and hit it.
((That's called 'Gyro Ball'.))
No, it's called rolling up into a ball and hitting it.
Can you guess what I'm calling this one?
(('A crow in a hat'?))
Correct. And since it's a bird, we'll hit it with rocks. Arnyellë's got some of those, so has Salgant.
((Are you going to make use of the REST of your Pokemon at any point?))
Sure. We'll have Raumo magic up some extra Special Attack and a little doll and pass them onto whoever needs them. Happy? Don't care. Moving on.
Okay, it's a weasel in a collar. At least they're trying now.
((You're going to call it 'a weasel in a collar', aren't you?))
No, I'm going to call it Ar-Pharazon the Golden. It looks just like him. And since it's vulnerable to rocks, it'll go down the same way as him, too. Or Aglon can punch it. Next!
That.
What is that.
((That's a Scrafty.))
It's an abomination.
((No, it's a Pokemon. I told you they weren't just animals.))
It's a scruffy, goofy-looking thing with dumb hair that can't keep its trousers from falling down.
((And it's half-fighting, so Aglon won't-))
I'm calling it Beren.
((...))
Yup. So, Dark/Fighting. Ideally we'd want to hit it with Fairy, but we don't-
((You can't call it Beren.))
Just did. Ironically, Fighting is still good against it, but we can also use Flying. That means-
((Seriously, choose a different name.))
Nope. Actually, Iris doesn't have a Flying attack, but that Heat Wave should at least do normal-
((You could call it 'Morgoth', that'd be good for a laugh.))
Beren will lash out with Dark, Fighting, and Rock, so actually Iris wouldn't be a good choice-
((Or 'Aragorn', even, he was a mess.))
Honestly, it's looking like sending in Aglon yet again is our all-around best choice. So that's-
((Dafydd. You can't call it 'Beren'.))
- about it for Beren, and I think for the list. That wasn't so bad. Who's next?
>Dafydd Illian
((There is no way we can win against that team. Seriously. ~hS))
