Subject: Congratualtions.
Author:
Posted on: 2016-12-04 16:21:00 UTC

Watching this developing was a lot of fun. But I’m not sure whether it holds up on a second read (no time to try right now). There may be some gaping plotholes concerning original Exeter’s way from Tex-Mex (via Imperial Russia?) to Golden Mongolia, and why he didn’t know that he had the shield in the first place.

Final Nitpicks:

Scene 25:
Dwarfed all this magnificence, a marble stair rose steeply to a gilded throne.
Apparently the missing "by" wandered off to the next sentence:
Beneath by a canopy of silver branches, clad in robes of what were probably nylon and wearing a green gem on his brow, sat the king of New Gondor.

Scene 30:
I'm pretty sure that' what I just said
Shouldn’t this be " that's"?

HG

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