Subject: Hair of Slytherin: Big Review
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Posted on: 2016-10-12 21:33:00 UTC

All right, I promised myself to take reviewing missions more seriously (one of the reasons being I actually want to get good at both writing and helping out), so this is my first shot at an actual, (maybe) helpful, con-crit review:

We started with a nightmare flashback, which showed us the origin story of Ix-Wolf. Now, just from the first paragraph of description I could tell it’s Greyback that bit her. Sounds exactly like the scenario he would choose. I have to commend you on setting up the atmosphere, too. The portrayal of Greyback as cannibalistic and sexually creepy, and his preference for children was shown nicely. However, the scene reminds me of Lupin’s “origin”: Greyback biting him as a revenge for what Lupin’s dad said about werewolves. The changes here were Greyback making a mistake (He probably did bit Caitlyn next month, I assume), and apparently somebody contracting him to do so… Which I don’t know if he would, but that’s just my musings. Also, there is Greyback’s uncertain fate after 1998 (Neville and Ron “brought him down” which could imply anything from imprisonment to slaying), but I’m gonna let it slide.
Lottie being the overly protective Sparklepire girlfriend was really cute, and I approve of it with all my might. And as I said before… Saibhir was a pretty clever reference. I do hate you for the Hair of Slytherin, though, because that’s the worst pun in the history (:P).
(Sidenote: I will kill the author for disrespecting The Merchant of Venice…)

As for the mission itself, it was easy to follow and clear. I like the house-elves disguise; first time seeing it being used, and I think those should be implemented more often. I like how they were forced to do the house-elf speech. You could’ve leave it the second time, though. Felt like something that would come as a price for the disguise (Good Lord, I hope I would never have to disguise as a Gungan). The charges list was quick and simple, and the execution was efficient. It was a good mission.

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