Subject: What are you all doing?
Author:
Posted on: 2018-04-03 11:42:00 UTC

You can’t drag the hermit out of his cosy tiny corner in Castle Arkive and make him rule a barony when he hasn’t done any knightly services yet.

I don’t deserve that honor. I barely recovered from getting Permission when I didn’t feel ready to ask for it. I still have to show that I can write a decent mission, or actually anything that’s longer than about two thousand words. (Okay, Ticket to Ride may count, although it’s intentionally bad, but not bad enough for the badfic games?)

My "reviewing" is mostly just proofreading, covering the lack of thought with one friendly sentence about how I liked the story – but I’m barely able to tell what I liked and why. (Proofreading is important, and I’m proud on my ability to help out there – and looking back through my archive of everything I posted ever, I actually did better reviews in the earlier years and may be able to get back to that.) Every studious person can get the technicalities right. When it comes to what really requires talent, like keeping characterization consistent while showing character development, I’m not so sure I can do that or see it or the lack of it in others’ works.

Never being embroiled in a scandal or drama should actually speak against me. Despite occasionally voicing an intent to change that habit, I have a record of cowardly cautiously staying away from potential trouble, only showing up to join the majority when my voice doesn’t matter anymore. Actually, the essence of my life is that I never ever wanted to be a decision maker, and I may not be prepared to start now.

Giving Permission to a writer who is not obviously perfect? I’m scared of creating a new [redacted].

Denying Permission to a writer who is not quite there, and then having to explain how they could improve (which is in important part of denying Permission)? I’m even more scared.

Can’t you foresee that, whenever an actual permission request shows up, I’ll just hide in a hole until somebody else made the decision? Accepting the PG hat when I’ll probably never use it might be dishonest.

But know what? I’m a Slytherin, because Pottermore said so; honesty is not on my character sheet. I’ll take that shiny hat, put it on my hatstand, decorate it with my shiny gold medal for being able to write English better than most Americans, and then we’ll see what happens.

HG, not promising anything

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