Subject: Re: interlude (spoilers)
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Posted on: 2018-01-21 03:08:00 UTC

I really enjoyed the tone of this. Just calm and peaceful and simple, and really no PPC weirdness or supernatural whatever drawing focus from the characters. I also like the shift from the beginning, when Ix is unsure and Charlotte is supportive, and the reversal after Charlotte gets sunburned, where she becomes panicky and needs to rely on Ix's experience to stop the hurt. It's a creative way of getting to the proposal as well, without the usual set up for that kind of scene.

One error!
Ix’s palms were slick with sweat by the time they got past the Security Dandelion guarding the exist, and when the heat of World One’s sun hit them, it only got worse.
Dandelions may guard the exist, but remember that tires don exits.

—doctorlit heavily recommends "kids" sunscreen for anyone spending time in strong sunlight. It's at least as effective as the adult stuff, but a bit less questionable-chemicals-y.

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