Subject: I enjoyed the story
Author:
Posted on: 2019-11-25 05:25:29 UTC
I enjoyed the story, even though I’m not really into romance stories. I especially like the descriptions; the descriptions were filled with a wide range of vocabulary.
I’m not referring to the story description, I’m referring to the descriptions in the passage, such as the description of the “nursery”.
Remember when the idea of Jenni Robinson and Jacques Bonnefoy meeting came up that one time? Well, Neshomeh and I made it happen! And what a ride it's been. Buckle up, folks--this is only the first story. There's more to come!
Journey back to 2013, when new recruit Jacques shows up at Jenni's office door...
"Crossing the Coffee Table" (on AO3 and Neshomeh's website)
Summary: In which “two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgement Day and trumpets sound” is more accurate than you’d think.
I felt like you explored Jenni and Jacques in two different ways: Jacques by direct analysis and introspection, and Jenni by showing how she deals with an unusual situation. That could have simplified down to 'tell' and 'show', and it's to your credit that it didn't.
My biggest laugh (well, grin) was at "I'm the nice tea nut." The biggest nostalgia moment was probably the mention of Jenni's appearance in the Monitor (because it brings the whole time period back to mind). The thing that... not that I liked least, but that took me most by surprise, was Jenni's sudden flip to 'hey let's have a relationship'; I think because we were mostly in Jacques' head I didn't see a lot of her buildup to that. And the part that gave me the most ideas was the mention of Chrononauts, combined with Jenni's thoughts on the PPC from a non-linear-time perspective. I feel like "PPC Chrononauts" might be very workable... >:D
hS
In a way, we sort of already have that with the Trousers of Time stories, don't we? IIRC, deliberate efforts to change the timeline didn't pan out too well... though, on the other hand, we don't seem to have the House of Rhodes yet, so maybe it did work. ^_^
But seriously, I think it certainly could work as a card game! There are plenty of events whose outcome you could flip to mess with the history of the PPC in interesting ways, and a selection of characters with more or less dubious objectives to play as. I think I still have the time machine I stole back repeatedly from Phobos, Irish Samurai, and non-existence, too...
Thanks for your comments!
~Neshomeh
As unofficial Master of the Timelines, of course I'm now cobbling together PPC Chrononauts. Given how far we are from the original timeline, I think there's a viable game in just trying to reach the Prime timeline at all.
Of course, there's some very wonky shenanigans going on, because the timeline already depends on time travel! If you stop Jasmine from going back to 2006, Crashing Down ends differently. Worse, if you stop Oopart from returning to 2015, you get the Assassination and Occupation, and I'm not sure Chrononauts is set up to cope with events that have to negate themselves... o.O
Still, with a few tweaks, it has some definite possibilities...
hS
I actually wasn't looking forward to this much, since I had an inkling it was going to be a lot of flirting, which doesn't really interest me. And it was a lot of flirting, but I still enjoyed it for how well you two balanced the combination of dialogue, mental monologue and body language, and kept that balance consistent throughout the entire story. I'm pretty envious of it right now! You folks did an extremely good job here.
—doctorlit is sorry he doesn't have more to say, but he doesn't watch Torchwood and doesn't really know where Jacques is coming from at this point
Editing. Lots and lots of editing. It reminded me of my early fanfic days, to be honest, which was just...wonderful. This was a joy to write, and then it turned out to be snowballing instead of being a one-off or one to two stories, and...
Well. I wasn't expecting this and neither was Jacques, but I love how it's turned out. And hearing that you enjoyed the story despite one of the main components is pretty cool. Thanks for giving it a shot, and commenting after!
~Z
When we wrote the first draft of this (and a bunch of other stuff), I hadn't watched Torchwood yet, either. {= ) I had seen the first episode a very long time ago, and had vague memories of Jack from his first appearances on Doctor Who, but that's it. Having now seen the first couple of seasons, I can say that knowing the show adds depth to how I read what happens in the story, but it definitely isn't a prerequisite!
I always knew this wouldn't be to everyone's taste, so no worries there. I'm glad you read and even enjoyed it anyway. Much appreciated!
~Neshomeh
HG, trying to get into the habit of telling everybody that he read their stories even if he cannot think of anything to say.
The innuendos alone...
I enjoyed the story, even though I’m not really into romance stories. I especially like the descriptions; the descriptions were filled with a wide range of vocabulary.
I’m not referring to the story description, I’m referring to the descriptions in the passage, such as the description of the “nursery”.
I didn't used to like romance much, either, so I get that. Thanks for reading anyway!
~Neshomeh
It's wonderful how sweet they are together, and amazing hearing that sort of sweetness intermingled with a discussion of the Kudzu's potential for tentacle, as it were. That was great fun to read!
I mean, I was thinking more along the lines of vines = ropes with leaves, but... yeah, we've all seen enough hentai to know where that's going, I guess.
I haven't seen any at all. That is apparently enough. Curse you, Internet!
~Neshomeh
I have a strange question to ask, can I make a ranting thread? Like a post where I ramble about how angry I am?
Sorry for asking on your story thread. I really don’t know whether to make a new post or not to make a new post.
I don’t want other people to start spamming ranting threads about how their threads were hidden by my own ranting thread.
The PPC Board is not really a place for ranting about things. Also,
"I don’t want other people to start spamming ranting threads about how their threads were hidden by my own ranting thread."
I think you're assuming the worst here; most likely, other Boarders would simply reply politely to tell you not to do that, if they had objections.
(Apologies for the initial version of this post, I accidentally submitted it somehow).
Wait a minute, what was the initial draft?
Very well then, I won’t make a ranting post. Not everyone likes to read a post about an angry 14 year old.
I do not know the context of who Jenni or Jacques is but when I searched them I get images of a Mother who uses Facebook and an artwork.
So, are they agents but I have no idea of who they are?
Both are PPC characters, so that's where you'll find information on them.
~Z
Very clever, you two. Veeeeery clever.
Looking forward to seeing this catch up to the present!
We've got a looong way to go. It's going to be fun.
Shockingly, this is my first time really reading any of Zing's stuff. I know Jacques by reputation, of course (who doesn't), but I'm not very familiar with him.
As such, I can safely say that this is a solid introduction piece. Which makes sense, both in context (a character is getting to know Jacques) and out of it (stylistically, this sort of inside-the-head character interaction writing has Neshomeh's fingerprints all over it). It's also just generally solid all around, with Jacques' traditional flirting, Jenni's traditional flirting, and some nice character moments. There's plenty of attention to detail in the blocking and description, which is good to see in such a dialogue-heavy piece. I'd expect nothing less.
Errant thoughts:
-Dangit, ABO has to just invade everything.
-Jacques and Luxury... oh dear.
-Tree people! But this time attractive. There's just something I think is cool about tree people.
...I mean, gasp! What do you mean, you haven't read my other stuff? How can it be??
:P
Jacques and Luxury. Well, I mean...they couldn't not meet. They've also been friends for years, both chronologically and in terms of it being a writing decision almost as old as Jacques is as a character. I'm hoping to showcase it here and there in future stories; so far I have one main scene written, I think, though the piece isn't anywhere near done at this point.
(Jacques has also evolved over the years; you'll see. This is him at more or less his closest to being Jack, and it was interesting to write.)
At any rate, I'm glad this works, and that the effort we put into it shows through.
~Z
PS: The Trees of Cheem are Doctor Who canon. They show up in the second episode of the Ninth Doctor's run.
Responding to the errant thoughts, because it's fun:
Re. ABO: The Avengers fandom is where I first stumbled on that concept, so I'm afraid it was easy math for "major fandom Jenni would need to keep up with" plus "what would put those characters in FicPsych." But you might be horrigratified to know I was also thinking of you? You're welcome?? ^_~
Re. Jacques and Luxury: Also Jenni and Luxury, I'll go ahead and confirm, if there was any doubt. Which is a story I have an idea for and may write sometime. At some point, no doubt the three of them will all socialize get together hang out ... Okay, there's nothing I can say here that won't sound like an innuendo in the circumstances. Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!
Re. tree people: Yep! Nothing to add to that.
~Neshomeh
It's good to know that I've indelibly associated myself with ABO in the minds of others.
ABO is a... just... a real whale of a concept. And I get the feeling I might just be Ahab.
Oh, goodness. Two of my favourite writers with two of my favourite characters put into that position? I was grinning from the first sentence and couldn’t stop. I’m still grinning as I type this up now.
That was... there’s no other way to describe this than “delicious”.
Well, gosh, you can't ask for a more positive response than that. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. ^_^
and if you're sweating now, just wait until the first date!
~Neshomeh