Fiiiinally got round to this. It's good! by
Huinesoron
on 2019-12-03 16:20:57 UTC
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I felt like you explored Jenni and Jacques in two different ways: Jacques by direct analysis and introspection, and Jenni by showing how she deals with an unusual situation. That could have simplified down to 'tell' and 'show', and it's to your credit that it didn't.
My biggest laugh (well, grin) was at "I'm the nice tea nut." The biggest nostalgia moment was probably the mention of Jenni's appearance in the Monitor (because it brings the whole time period back to mind). The thing that... not that I liked least, but that took me most by surprise, was Jenni's sudden flip to 'hey let's have a relationship'; I think because we were mostly in Jacques' head I didn't see a lot of her buildup to that. And the part that gave me the most ideas was the mention of Chrononauts, combined with Jenni's thoughts on the PPC from a non-linear-time perspective. I feel like "PPC Chrononauts" might be very workable... >:D
hS
Re: interlude by
doctorlit
on 2019-12-02 19:59:41 UTC
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I actually wasn't looking forward to this much, since I had an inkling it was going to be a lot of flirting, which doesn't really interest me. And it was a lot of flirting, but I still enjoyed it for how well you two balanced the combination of dialogue, mental monologue and body language, and kept that balance consistent throughout the entire story. I'm pretty envious of it right now! You folks did an extremely good job here.
—doctorlit is sorry he doesn't have more to say, but he doesn't watch Torchwood and doesn't really know where Jacques is coming from at this point
Read it, liked it by
Hieronymus Graubart
on 2019-12-01 10:59:53 UTC
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HG, trying to get into the habit of telling everybody that he read their stories even if he cannot think of anything to say.
I enjoyed the story by
SomeRandomPersonAccount
on 2019-11-25 05:25:29 UTC
Edited
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I enjoyed the story, even though I’m not really into romance stories. I especially like the descriptions; the descriptions were filled with a wide range of vocabulary.
I’m not referring to the story description, I’m referring to the descriptions in the passage, such as the description of the “nursery”.
Oh my! by
Cicada
on 2019-11-25 00:15:41 UTC
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It's wonderful how sweet they are together, and amazing hearing that sort of sweetness intermingled with a discussion of the Kudzu's potential for tentacle, as it were. That was great fun to read!
I have a strange question to ask... by
SomeRandomPersonAccount
on 2019-11-24 23:56:35 UTC
Edited
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I have a strange question to ask, can I make a ranting thread? Like a post where I ramble about how angry I am?
Sorry for asking on your story thread. I really don’t know whether to make a new post or not to make a new post.
I don’t want other people to start spamming ranting threads about how their threads were hidden by my own ranting thread.
Who? by
SomeRandomPersonAccount
on 2019-11-24 02:21:07 UTC
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I do not know the context of who Jenni or Jacques is but when I searched them I get images of a Mother who uses Facebook and an artwork.
So, are they agents but I have no idea of who they are?
Oh gods... that linked song! XD by
S.M.F.
on 2019-11-23 23:46:15 UTC
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Very clever, you two. Veeeeery clever.
Looking forward to seeing this catch up to the present!
Alright! by
Thoth
on 2019-11-23 23:34:59 UTC
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Shockingly, this is my first time really reading any of Zing's stuff. I know Jacques by reputation, of course (who doesn't), but I'm not very familiar with him.
As such, I can safely say that this is a solid introduction piece. Which makes sense, both in context (a character is getting to know Jacques) and out of it (stylistically, this sort of inside-the-head character interaction writing has Neshomeh's fingerprints all over it). It's also just generally solid all around, with Jacques' traditional flirting, Jenni's traditional flirting, and some nice character moments. There's plenty of attention to detail in the blocking and description, which is good to see in such a dialogue-heavy piece. I'd expect nothing less.
Errant thoughts:
-Dangit, ABO has to just invade everything.
-Jacques and Luxury... oh dear.
-Tree people! But this time attractive. There's just something I think is cool about tree people.
*fans self* by
Iximaz
on 2019-11-23 21:55:00 UTC
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Oh, goodness. Two of my favourite writers with two of my favourite characters put into that position? I was grinning from the first sentence and couldn’t stop. I’m still grinning as I type this up now.
That was... there’s no other way to describe this than “delicious”.