Subject: To FourMoonsWatching
Author:
Posted on: 2020-09-23 13:44:46 UTC
You did a very good job of evoking just how bleak and hopeless the character is feeling at this moment.
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It was an All-Write! by
on 2020-09-23 02:36:56 UTC
Edited
Writing
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I called another All-Write on the Discord, in the interest of getting those restarted! The prompt was “A thwarting? Now? But I was just-”, and several people wrote several deeply amusing pieces. We're putting them here, so additional participants can leave feedback - part of the point of the exercise is practicing giving, and receiving, concrit.
In no particular order!
Stream of Consciousness (bl1 if you squint even slightly), by FourMoonsWatching. Content warning: Significant discussions of suicidality. Falloren continues to be angsty.
Office Hours, by Calliope. A continuation of her delightful series about a slightly demonic corporation.
Off the Clock, by Thoth. Just about the closest to the prompt that I had in mind - it's about villains and how rude it is to interrupt them.
Hellhound, by Cicada. Also warnings for suicidality, and one of the coolest depictions of magic I've seen in a while.
Unnecessary Heroics, by Delta Juliette. In which a pair of retired protagonists find new reasons to be tired.
Forced Beginnings, by Silv. New beginnings are hard, some times.
Last Mile, by Tomash. Adventures in outer space get a little bit hair-raising.
A thwarting? Now?, by The Foolish Maker of Worlds. I'm fond of the protagonist and her perspective!
How To Run Someone's Day, by Literature's Hanafuda. The only directly PPC entry in today's series!
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To Literature's Hanafuda by
on 2020-09-23 15:17:00 UTC
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This was a fun little piece. Vanille and Hex's planning was interesting, but I didn't really understand why Vanille was sneaking into the response center.
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To The Foolish Maker of Worlds by
on 2020-09-23 15:13:50 UTC
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You do a great job of showing that Charlotte is blind before actually saying it. I also like how it's not a simple statement of her being blind that reveals it to the reader, but a reference to her "blind eyes".
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To Tomash by
on 2020-09-23 15:09:49 UTC
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This piece makes for a fun little adventure. The twist at the end of it all being a simulation works nicely.
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To Silv by
on 2020-09-23 15:05:37 UTC
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The character's confusion about what had and was happening was a great lead-in to the ending. Also, finding out that the character had become a Vulpix added new nuance to a few lines in the first part.
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To Delta Juliette by
on 2020-09-23 15:01:18 UTC
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This piece was very amusing. I really got the sense of Catherine and Fiona just being so DONE with wannabe heroes and wishing for a peaceful life. It was easily understandable without the other piece, although reading the other one did add to my understanding of this one.
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To Cicada by
on 2020-09-23 14:52:23 UTC
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The tidbits of what happened to get the character to this point have me really curious to find out the full story.
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To Thoth by
on 2020-09-23 13:59:02 UTC
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I really like the piece. the humor of the situation kept me ginning throughout. The idea of being Heroes and Villains having become essentially a cooperative show is really neat and I could feel the viewpoint character's exasperation at getting interrupted by yet another newbie hero.
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To Calliope by
on 2020-09-23 13:55:00 UTC
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I really felt Miria's frustration with what she had to do.
That said, I didn't really understand what was going on until I had read the other pieces in the series.
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To FourMoonsWatching by
on 2020-09-23 13:44:46 UTC
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You did a very good job of evoking just how bleak and hopeless the character is feeling at this moment.
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To Calliope on her story by
on 2020-09-23 03:39:31 UTC
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Honestly, I really empathize with Miria, especially sometime in the middle of the story with the phone call. I get especially agitated when interrupted while I'm doing something I consider important. I also really like the way you used italics to show sarcasm, as I have a bit of trouble picking it up otherwise.
Although, it is a sequel, and readers may not have a clear picture of exactly what's going on if they haven't read the other stories in the series.
Also I thought at first that Miria was using a typewriter