Oh, hey, Narnia! I haven't read a mission there in a long while. And I like that you made use of the Talking Beasts native to Narnia to allow your agents to be something other than humanoid, for a change. It made it extra fun for Jiwon to be able to talk in his fox form, and serves as a bit of a callback to Mr. Fox trying to help Aslan during The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I especially loved your resolution here! Letting a Sue assimilate has been done before, but you came up with a creative and original way to avoid assassination and recover the crash dummy. Excellent!

. . . Daryll. There's an OC talking leopard, and he got named . . . Daryll. I mean, I know this is a canon with animals named Mrs. Beaver and Shift the Ape, but like. Daryll, though. Daryll the leopard. A talking beast from Narnia, his name is Daryll. Daryll of Narnia. Daryll, who serves Aslan. Hey everyone, meet the talking big cat, Daryll. Daryll the neon orange talking leopard. Daryll. His name is Daryll. Daryll the leopard of Narnia. Daryll.

Some little details I enjoyed:
-Charlie's sandwich getting way overcooked, and they just deeply go for it anyway
-literally everything about Dr. Glocktopus

Some errors? I haven't read anyone else's comments, so some of these may be redundant.

In the beginning, when the agents are interacting with the console, you say, "Jiwon made a small disgruntled fox noise before shifting into his human form" But Jiwon had already changed to human and was never mentioned as going back up to this point. (Unless I'm missing it in my reading.)

As the dummy inflates, "Charlie grabbed Jiwon’s arm and quickly pulled him behind some fallen branches" But their disguises are quadrupeds, so no arm to grab. (And if Charlie is using his mouth, he must be doing so very gently!

"the Sue arrived on the scene, cresting a nearby hill on her horse and generally looking regal and fancy as the other Narnians on camp parted ways for her." I think you wanted "in camp," unless this is just a phrasing I'm unfamiliar with?

Aneia starts the charge scene on hoirseback, but Alrohar has vanished by the time the agents open the portal under her.

And one last error in the ending author's note: "I’m not entirely sure it merited being the the PPC Wiki’s Unclaimed Badfic page"

—doctorlit, son of Adam

• I liked the sandwich bit at the beginning
• The casual mention of the skeletons was pretty funny
• The polymorph bit was neat - it's nice to see the two different magic systems interacting on a day-to-day level like this
• Interesting thing with the fic not being that bad
• Dr. Glocktopus :). They've definitely got HQ vibes
• I'm liking the callback with the sandwich

Overall, the mission was well-done and did a good job of showing what's bad and good about the fic, while also having its own independent plot. It also fits pretty well into the PPC as a universe. So, ... keep things up, I'm looking forward to more from you.

Sandwich make Charlie strong!

I’m glad I got to see more of Charlie’s quirkiness and smol bean Jiwon.

Genderbent Santa. Ugh, I cringed at that the first time that was mentioned. Still, glad it didn’t last for long.

And yeah, it was better to have the Sue assimilated into the canon instead of squeezing the fic dry for charges. Saved time and was a good chance to practice.

I don't think bread and cheese that are burned to a crisp taste very good. I like your characters.

The sandwich-toasting was a strong opening, and I like the "next to the skeletons" line and its reaction. I also liked the way you handled the not-quite-Suvian - though I would've liked to see how she ended up! (And possible how Dr. Glocktopus reacted to having an angry, bewildered, charging woman dropped on him with no warning.)

The thing about letting the fic shape the mission is... well, we're not MSTers, so it helps to separate us from that, but also it's more fun to read. ^_^ A mission that doesn't end with 'and then they stabbed her dead the end' is always a nice change, so if you've got good reason to do it, go for it!

hS