Subject: Mission review
Author:
Posted on: 2022-05-17 12:30:25 UTC

Random notes:

  • I noticed a couple typos and suggested the corrections.

-I think it could use a bit more interaction between the agents.

  • I thought the badfic's quoting of Star Wars was funny, just because of how ridiculous it was.

  • The sentence "Deirdre tried to yank the apostrophe out of the it’s, to no avail." made me smile. There are many it's's that need their apostrophes yanked out.

  • Not sure the sentence “What do you mean, she doesn't know who her parents are? Did she just pop out of thin air?” is necessary. It isn't unreasonable to not know who one's parents are, so I don't think you need to make fun of that.

Overall, a nice but short mission bit.

Reply Return to messages