Subject: Hat on.
Posted on: 2022-08-06 03:07:32 UTC

Sorry about the delay. I won't comment in too much depth, because I'm sort of limited to mobile at the moment. Briefly, though:

Permission granted!

My one criticism is that the PPC comes off more like a military establishment than a bureaucracy from hell in the first piece. I love the idea of Building Maintenance drubbing new recruits into digging ditches for them, especially if said recruits are already assigned as Floaters, but this line of Finola's soured it for me:

We get lectures, then we get drills, and sometimes they call us out to do grunt work.

That makes it sound like there's a rigorous standard training process. If I may bastardize an over-used meme, the PPC has no standardized training, and the PPC needs no standardized training. Especially not military-flavored training. Nothing against that flavor overall--it would be weird if two ex-military agents didn't see things in military terms--but the PPC is more like the CIA. Or, even more aptly, the TVA or any other fictional timeline-protection agency you care to name. {= )

So that's the one negative. The rest is positive. There's enough PPC-flavored bizarreness and humor that I'm sure you can do it. I even think it wouldn't be too hard to edit the first prompt to make it totally work, if you feel like it. I like the agents; they seem like good folk. I like seeing Floaters taking on non-Action roles (maintenance, character protection), like Ginger wrote them way back in the day. I like your interpretation of the "duty" prompt: both that you did interpret it and the direction you took. I like the homage to Mervin and Hyde, and that it was a restrained homage. {= ) (Too bad there are so many Snape Sues their totally over-the-top intervention didn't make a dent, apparently, eh?)

Nitpicks: I spotted a missing quotation mark and "agents" inconsistently capitalized once in the second prompt. Sorry I'm not telling you where; one blockquote on mobile is all I have the patience to do. Also, those things are hardly a big deal. {= )

Enjoy your shiny new Permission!


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