Subject: And now some follow-on PPC writing: "Cross-Tree"
Author:
Posted on: 2023-11-19 22:17:17 UTC

(( Minimal editing, only as canon as I decide it is later, etc etc. ))

When Tomash stepped through the door, it didn't look anything like what he thought it would.

Where am I? he thought at the world.

Headquarters, the world replied, unhelpfully.

Tomash looked around. The door he'd just gone through was gone. Instead, he was an a gray corridor: no, not just gray, the undefined gray of "no one's decided what texture goes here". He tugged on the threads of debugging data around him ... and none of them made any sense! Things lined up that clearly shouldn't, and different chunks of hallway reported vastly different identities.

Maybe I'm dreaming he thought, as he kept walking forward.

The doors off the corridor made even less sense. They were pretty much all closed, and their numbers made even less sense. How could you have ffc and 24 right next to each other?

Eventually, he stumbled across a shimmering holographic-looking person coming out of a cross hallway "Hey, uh, do you know where I am?" he asked.

The person pointed some form of scanner at him, which beeped. Then, they frowned. "Could you hold on a moment, Mr. Tomash? I'll go get someone who'll do a better job explaining." they said in a noticeably synthesized voice.

"Sure!"


[bip]

A much less furry and much more embodied Tomash ignored the message, as he was deep into trying to solve a problem.

[bip bip bipbip]

Tomash looked down to see what this was about. Newbies? he thought, confused.

[BEEEEEEEEP]

"Ugh, fine, I'll look at it," he grumbled. "What's so important?"

"They want me to give the intro speech ... in the cyberspace strata?" he said, hoping that this would somehow make more sense.

"Why me?" he typed back.

"You're one of the few canon experts we've got and also ... it's you, probably."

"It's me?"

"I got something about multiverse stuff."

"Be right there."

Tomash pushed away from his desk and went down to the lab where the "project yourself into infomorph HQ" machines were. Fortunately, the comfortable ones were still open, so Tomash easily hooked himself into digital HQ to meet himself without great discomfort.


Tomash - Tomash#Post-Self, to adapt his universe's conventions for similar situations - was unphased by someone appearing in front of him out of nowhere. That wasn't a particularly unusual form of travel, even though it was weird that someone'd put an entry point in the middle of two random hallways.

What was unusual, however, was that the person in front of him looked familiar. Sort of like ... him, before he'd taken up his post-upload furry look. "Hi," he said. "I'm Tomash. Do you know what's going on and where I am?"

"I'm Tomash too," Tomash#PPC said, "And I've got an idea - mind if I scan you to check?"

"Eh, sure, why not. Also, uh, you look weirdly familiar - can I look you up?"

Tomash#PPC shrugged. "Sure. No idea what it'll do, though."

Who, exactly, am I talking to? #Post-Self thought at the world around him.

[Tomash. PPC agent (DoSAT). he/him. Human (temporarily virtualized). NOTE: Possible multiverse scenario, please call DAS-DAMP.]

Tomash#Post-Self shook his head. That wasn't how a "Who's that?" usually resolved itself. Still, he pressed on. And clade?

The response came into his mind, almost more feeling than words. Not applicable.

Meanwhile, Tomash#PPC was leafing through his bag.

"Query clade information for the person standing in front of me I was just talking to," #Post-Self said, just in case the System had misinterpreted him.

Not applicable.

"Then construct instantiation information, please."

Target is not a construct.

"Then what gives?" #Post-Self exclaimed. "He's on the System, how isn't there clade info? The heck is going on here?!"

#PPC looked up from his search. "You're not on the System is what's going on."

"Wait, what?"

"I'll get there, but, could you do me a favor? Look yourself up and tell me what you're getting. I left my CAD at my desk and maybe that'll do it."

"Uh ... Tomash. Canon slash Alpha Uniform. Post-Self. he/him. Human, upload in parens. And then a note about a 'possible multiverse scenario' telling me to call DAS dash DAMP." The more dog-like Tomash shook his head. "That mean anything to you?"

His counterpart nodded. "Yeah, it does. Mind if I just start explaining?"

"Not like I've got anything better to do."

#PPC chuckled. "Fair enough. So, relatively short version. You're in the headquarters of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, or at least the part where digital life lives. There's a whole multiverse thing going on: telling stories creates universes, and those universes can bleed into each other. Every once in a while - think badly-written fanfiction - that causes damage, and the folks still working in Action try to clean it all up."

"Ok, so I somehow stepped into another universe? Or between universes?"

"Yeah, you'd've walked right through a plothole."

"I'm just going to roll with that and bug you for more info later."

Tomash#PPC waved a hand. "No one really knows how all the details work, and you don't want to think about it too hard."

"That being said," #Post-Self said, "what am I running on, if I'm not in the System?"

"Best I can tell it's the rough average of the idea of digital existence. Everyone out here brings their own rules with them, though, so you can do most of what worked for you back home."

"So, I can still ..." #Post-Self said. He forked. His fork merged down. "Yep."

"Yeah, but I can't, I'm projecting in from phys-side, I think youd' call it."

"How?"

"Beam-into-cyberspace machine, there's a lot of them. I even snagged one that won't leave me sore as hell after this."

Tomash#Post-Self had realized some of the implications of where he was. "Wait, so the PPC can just go universe-hopping to grab anything useful? In a 'if someone's thought of it, it's out there' way?"

#PPC nodded. "Exactly. I'm over in DoSAT - that's the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology -"

"- so indistinguishable from magic, got it -"

"- and we try to wrangle everything together."

#Post-Self paused a moment. "Ok, so, unrelatedly, what's that multiverse scenario note about?"

"Oh, yeah, that's the science division wanting to know about people running into different versions of themselves."

#Post-Self blinked. "That happens?"

"Not too often, fortunately." #PPC replied.

"So, just to check, the theory is that you're me, but the me who ended up doing tech work for a multiverse-wide cleanup squad instead of uploading and going systech."

"That's all I've got, yeah," Tomash#PPC admitted. "Can't think of any better ideas."

"Would it be close enough," the furrier Tomash asked, "to say we're cross-trees and ignore the multiverse situation for a bit?"

"Huh. Uh, hmmm ... just a moment," #PPC said, chewing the question over. "Yeah, close enough."

"So, mind if I make a few guesses about DoSAT, knowing me, well, the clade?"

"Go ahead," the human said. He wondered how close an alternate version of him'd get.

"Ok, so, 1," #Post-Self began, listing off points on the fingers of his paws, "y'all're a bit understaffed. Not enough that you're out there recruiting, but you'll take anyone qualified who doesn't run for it."

"Yeah, pretty much."

"2, you've got a bit of time to try and improve things, but there's usually something important threatening to break on you."

#PPC nodded.

"And 3, the place is held together by paperclips, duct tape, and hope, metaphorically."

"... you're not wrong, me, you're not wrong. But we ran out of paperclips ages ago and now it's just plotholes."

"Yeah, sounds like a job I'd take," Tomash#Post-Self said.

"I've got one for you," #PPC replied.

"Oh?"

"Your desire to slow down and stop taking work so seriously never actually sticks because you actually like a bit of stress a bit. That and poking around all the internals is fun."

"Hey!" #Post-Self objected.

The conversation slid to a halt. "So ... now what? Is there a way I can go home?" #Post-Self asked.

"Yeah, but I think I'm supposed to try to recruit you first."

#Post-Self nodded. "Yeah. I don't get to try and recruit you back, do I?"

#PPC shook his head. "Nah, contamination issues. But maybe you can talk me out of retiring to the Culture eventually.

"Anyway, you said systech, so ... what's the gig, exactly? I can't remember much about it."

"For me, mostly fixing up weird nonsense people did to their sims or themselves. Infinite voids, exploding coffee, that sort of thing."

"Ok, so ... not sure how Facilities works out here, but I don't think they'd complain about an extra pair of hands, and that's probably the closest fit," #PPC said. "So, the pitch is there's hardly ever a boring day up here, you get to poke at cool things from all over the multiverse, and the medical benefits are fantastic ... wait, no idea if you need those."

"Therapy, maybe."

"Yeah, FicPsych's good at their job. Also, you'd be in infrastructure - there's fewer brain-breaking horrors than if you're actually in an action department."

"So ... what's the catch?"

"Pay's questionable -"

"- probably not as big a deal, unless it means I'm running into forking costs again -"

"- and the agents can get very annoyed if you're not fixing their particular issue first. And they've usually got weapons."

"Hey, at least you don't have a long list of bug reports gathering dust because phys-side just plain doesn't feel bothered to fix anything."

"True enough," #PPC said. "So, think you might be in, seeing as you're already here?"

"I don't want to screw over everyone back home ..." Tomash#Post-Self said.

"You could fork?" #PPC suggested.

#Post-Self did, in fact, fork, creating an identical-looking Tomash#Facilities standing next to his much more human cross-tree. "I could fork," #Facilities said.

"There's no way to merge down after I leave, yeah?" #Post-Self asked.

"Definitely not. Can't have people running around knowing about the PPC."

"So ... how'm I going to leave? With the perfect memory bug and all, since you said my home rules carry over." #Post-Self asked.

"We've got memory erasers," Tomash#PPC said, pulling a neuralyzer out of his bag. He still had one, unlike most techs, because old habits died hard. He clipped a dark filter onto his glasses after dialing in the right length of time. "Uh ... fork of me who's staying, please turn around and close your eyes."

#Facilities did.

Tomash#PPC opened up a portal to his - #Post-Self's - place on the System behind #Post-Self.

FLASH

"If you could please turn around and step through the glowing blue thing, you'll be right back home. You got distracted and spaced out."

Tomash#Post-Self, in a post-flashy-thing daze, stepped through the portal, which was closed behind him.

"Ok, you can open your eyes, let's get you - me - you down to the Flowers to get all the paperwork sorted." #PPC said to #Facilities.

"The Flowers?" #Facilities asked, starting down the corridor.

"Yeah ,big psychic flowers that run the place."

#Facilities smiled. "Yeah, sounds about right for how weird today's been."

The two Tomashes wandered off through the halls of HQ together

Elsewhere in HQ, Peregrin got the sense that his day would become all sorts of fun shortly.

(( edit: typos, thanks doc! ))

Reply Return to messages