Subject: I am quite distressed.
Author:
Posted on: 2023-12-20 17:21:34 UTC
The writing on this thing is, um, bad. There's a lot of repeating facts from Tolkien in barely-narrative or barely-dialogue. There's a prologue which is partly repeated in the first chapter. There's characters (notably Sam) who don't sound a thing like themselves. There's just kind of a general clunky feel to the whole thing.
In terms of canon, I've read to the end of Chapter 2, and:
I'm pretty sure hobbits weren't marrying at 21, given that they only reach adulthood at 33. They also don't describe their birthdays with the wrong number; the story has Elanor's 21st as her 'two and twentieth' (which they also don't do).
The Star of the Dunedin should probably not be mithril.
Ewartia Greenholm is just unbelievable, even if everyone does call her Alice for no reason.
Who in Mandos is Drendelen supposed to be? A granddaughter of Nerdanel is a granddaughter of Feanor, and nope nope nope.
I don't believe the Elves would have carted multiple sculptures from Aman to Numenor. I am positive that Elendil, in his desperate flight from the sinking island, wouldn't have packed the statues.
You can't call it the "Red Book of Westmarch" before Elanor has moved to the Westmarch with it!
The picture of the White Tree very obviously doesn't match the description.
We know how Aragorn's letters sound, and this one doesn't.
The text has Sam claiming the entire Hill for Bag-End, which would include the New Row dug after the Scouring. I can't see him turfing out poor farmers just for extra bedrooms, can you?
We also know, from the Epilogue, how Sam and his family addressed each other. It is not like this.
Slapping royal titles onto the Eldar of the Third Age is wrong-headed. Cirdan, in particular, would never do that.
The NuRing Verse has me screaming. In particular, the Enchanted Beings ring every alarm bell, while the very idea of assigning the Rings to specific peoples was Sauron's, not Celebrimbor's.
Celebrimbor did not have the level of power ascribed to him. He was an elf, he absolutely could not imbue a Ring with the Music of the Ainur. (Not could anyone. The Music is Arda.)
Ultimately this looks like a pretty standard post-LotR Hobbit-centred fic. It shares a lot of its DNA so far with The Hobbits, though there's no connection between them. Were it not for the court drama I'd just ignore it. :D
hS