Subject: I am quite distressed.
Author:
Posted on: 2023-12-20 17:21:34 UTC

The writing on this thing is, um, bad. There's a lot of repeating facts from Tolkien in barely-narrative or barely-dialogue. There's a prologue which is partly repeated in the first chapter. There's characters (notably Sam) who don't sound a thing like themselves. There's just kind of a general clunky feel to the whole thing.

In terms of canon, I've read to the end of Chapter 2, and:

  • I'm pretty sure hobbits weren't marrying at 21, given that they only reach adulthood at 33. They also don't describe their birthdays with the wrong number; the story has Elanor's 21st as her 'two and twentieth' (which they also don't do).

  • The Star of the Dunedin should probably not be mithril.

  • Ewartia Greenholm is just unbelievable, even if everyone does call her Alice for no reason.

  • Who in Mandos is Drendelen supposed to be? A granddaughter of Nerdanel is a granddaughter of Feanor, and nope nope nope.

  • I don't believe the Elves would have carted multiple sculptures from Aman to Numenor. I am positive that Elendil, in his desperate flight from the sinking island, wouldn't have packed the statues.

  • You can't call it the "Red Book of Westmarch" before Elanor has moved to the Westmarch with it!

  • The picture of the White Tree very obviously doesn't match the description.

  • We know how Aragorn's letters sound, and this one doesn't.

  • The text has Sam claiming the entire Hill for Bag-End, which would include the New Row dug after the Scouring. I can't see him turfing out poor farmers just for extra bedrooms, can you?

  • We also know, from the Epilogue, how Sam and his family addressed each other. It is not like this.

  • Slapping royal titles onto the Eldar of the Third Age is wrong-headed. Cirdan, in particular, would never do that.

  • The NuRing Verse has me screaming. In particular, the Enchanted Beings ring every alarm bell, while the very idea of assigning the Rings to specific peoples was Sauron's, not Celebrimbor's.

  • Celebrimbor did not have the level of power ascribed to him. He was an elf, he absolutely could not imbue a Ring with the Music of the Ainur. (Not could anyone. The Music is Arda.)

Ultimately this looks like a pretty standard post-LotR Hobbit-centred fic. It shares a lot of its DNA so far with The Hobbits, though there's no connection between them. Were it not for the court drama I'd just ignore it. :D

hS

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