Subject: PFFFFF.
Author:
Posted on: 2013-05-28 18:29:00 UTC
Oh, wait, you weren't kidding? Wow.
Why is it always Legolas? I mean, I know it isn't always, but why? Or do I just automatically find Sues that go after Elves, or something?
(By the way, if anyone ever finds a Sue that goes after Feanorians, preferably the older ones, and you don't want it, pass it on to me; I'd like one.)
~DF
After slugging through the entire medieval torture ritual that was "Leaves, Have But Only Two Sides" (Even the title... sigh...), I have gathered a couple charges for whoever sporks it.
1.) The name Morwen, which was the name of a historical elven figure- when it is specifically stated that elves do not reuse names, and consider it blasphemous impersonation.
2.) Randomly crouching down and hissing at various canon and bit characters like Gollum with rabies for no apparent reason, and forcing poor abused Legolas to find that attractive.
Morwen is like Gollum with rabies.
Gollum does not have rabies, and I'm reasonably sure Morwen never hissed at him, as his part was cut almost- if not completely- 100% from the story.
Badly formatted simile- my apologies.
Somewhere in the universe, Acacia just had a conniption.
That was when this one Circle Sue dragged Boromir way out of character.
If this is what fanfiction.net used to be like, I can see why the Original Series was written. With Circle Sues, every fic seems like it could be a troll, even though they often aren't. I swear, if/when I decide to ask for Permission...
If a Sue is fully described (like in the profiles that start off these two Suefics), but the fic is in first-person perspective, do you still need a Crash Dummy or will the Sue naturally take form?
The reason a Sue takes over the dummy isn't due to its appearance being undescribed, and in fact, the first-person Sues can be more likely than the third-person Sues to stop all the action to talk about the way they dress.
It's the first/second person shift that causes the Sue to attempt to take over an observer, and the Crash Dummy is there to be the most susceptible observer in the room.
I remember one mission where a possessed Agent started slowly taking on the Sue's characteristics as she was described. That didn't expel her from his body, and in fact ended up making the situation worse. The first-person Sues want to drive something around.
...to let y'all know I don't have regular Internet access for a few months, so I'll be bowing back a bit in terms of activity on the Board. There's a very slim chance I'll get Internet at my apartment, but it's got a horrid bathroom and I want to move when my sublease runs out, so I prolly won't.
Sorry and stuff.
These have to be the most unbelievably cliched 'Sues I have ever heard of. One's an evil Elf who falls for Legolas, the other is a typical Arwen's Sister!Sue. Why this same pattern? It's so ridiculous that it ends up being funny.
There's one who gets run over by a car and lands in Middle-earth, then joins the Fellowship, then romances Legolas, then makes everyone speak in modern slang, then bears an extra ring of Speshul that is just as powerful as the One, and then runs over Canon roughshod some more.
Oh, and she's an elf with purple hair.
...Legolas is PURDY.
Pretty boy. Very pretty. Therefore Sue-magnetic.
http://www.council-of-elrond.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-2628.html
A thread, mostly fangirls explaining the reasons they like Legolas and involving many instances of the words "hot" and "immortal", which I think about sums it up.
Why are fangirls so into the "Twoo Wuv shal change him!
I watched the Nostalgia Chick video and was stunned. As she said, when you ask guys who they lust over, it is fairly easy to tell why they do. Here is a hint: enlarged chest and hips. Ask gals though, and a sad, sad number fall in the "I
Why, fangirls?
Why?
To generalize the more specific references and make it fit into the section we put it in, you know. Except for the reference about Batman. We can keep that in. Everyone knows about Batman.
It is quite a good speech, though.
(applauds DawnFire's speech)
...general statement. Maybe for like an age bit. I feel like it'd resound more for the younger writer whose first fic was sparked than anyone else.
I can revise it a bit, if need be. Depending on how it's used (you really want to use it? *glee*), of course.
~DF
The Nostalgia Critic's video entitled "Why Is Loki So Hot?" It talks about the same thing from a slightly different perspective, and perhaps provides the answers you seek.
~Neshomeh
See, Legolas isn't normally a woobie, but how many fics turn him into one by making his dad abusive?
As for the ones that don't... he's pretty, he's aloof, he's immortal, and he's an oh-so-special Elf. I guess that's enough for some. *shrug*
~Neshomeh, who personally just wanted to hang out with Aragorn and learn wilderness survival.
...at "alabaster skin" and "velvet voice".
It's also making me get the urge to write a fic where Legolas is already married to the Middle-earth equivalent of Miranda Kerr, who kicks fangirl butt for the lulz.
...mainly because I currently lack information to make a statement to the contrary.
Chocolate is appreciated. Selective memory deletion...may be.
There lies strength in bottling up flamethrower capacity, though.
That'd be very, very awesome. Though, given recent events in the SPN 'verse, I think they'd have to be from a pre-Season 8 finale era, and somehow protected from those events should they return to a badfic set post Season 8.
...just interesting, I suppose you could say.
And I think that idea is pretty awesome, and would make for some interesting missions, particularly once you figure out who Ariel's partner would be and what they would be like working together.
Yep. Chibi!Elrond is now performing "Waterloo" live somewhere in the fandom village I have in my head. I don't know why he's chibi-fied, I just think chibi Elrond would be kind of cute.
What about the star people, Coriakin and Ramandu (and technically Ramandu's daughter)? Couldn't they be seen as a Narnian allegory to angels, in a way?
Does a human soul that gets turned into a Supernatural-verse demon retain the memories and habits of its former life? If so, does it retain it all (within reason, since they'd been demonized and that would probably cause a shift in personality and related points in the once-human's psyche), or only certain parts? What remnants of the former life are most likely to be retained?
I'm going to say a tentative yes to all your questions, bar the last one. I don't know if there are remnants of its former life that are most likely to be retained; some demons like to kill just for the heck of it, some don't. It varies from character to character.
I think I'd buy the idea of a piece of Grace remaining to approximate a soul; it sounds pretty likely.
~DF
...what in the name of sanity is she doing to the Elvish language?! Is she actually mixing Sindarin and Quenya?
I mean come on, she knows of Tom Bombadil - WHY IS SHE STILL WRITING THIS?
I do believe I asked if her swords were actually what she called them.
I guess I can chalk that up to "nope."
Thing is, Isilmë is a, er, princess of Númenor. So the Sue just totally named her sword after a princess. I'd probably be vaguely offended if someone named their gun 'Lily Winterwood'... you know?
(Still, better than naming your horse after a Vala. Which I have seen twice.)
I'll be fine.
Industrial strength Sue-perior Army destruction.
That, and you can load it with charges for rapid-pace charge/executions.
The preferred weapons of the Winterwood Rangers.
(...that was this long-ago joke about me having an army of rangers on Tumblr...)
Mind if I give the minigun a nod and a wink in my (theoretical) PPC story? Nothing major, just a comment about a partially disassembled Winterwood lying on a table in the PPC Armory...
I bet ESAS could use a minigun of that power...or maybe they'd get the Winterwood 2.0s...
XD
~DF
It would be a Winterwood 2.0?
Also, Outhra's looking for you. You've got lots of writing to do for the Sue Lord mission.
The impromptu team who fought Slorp. With the Doctor as their honorary leader.
Damn, now I have to chase a mini-Lily!
I was actually a character in that OFUIAHF piece but I was the antagonist so...
I think it'd be cool for it to be an out of universe reference. Mostly because I want the Doctor heading my army.
Well, to sign up you just gotta sign here... /hands papers.
Like, seriously, Winterwood Rangers should totally be kept around for future missions.
Kind of like how my White Mages in Mages' Travels are church militant badasses.
It started out as just a joke I made for an MST.
I imagine they like gatecrashing Suvian Christmas Fluff-fics very often.
Or New Guardian ROTG fics.
I finally found one of those... Mommy, why do the words hurt me, you said they were my friends...
http://www.quotev.com/story/1917124/My-childhood-bestfriendharry-potter-love-story/
Her name is Liliana Ice Vixen Winterwood and she talks like a hyperactive five year old, is a Veela, and has enough bad grammar and spacing to make anyone faint.
A while ago I found a "Bilbo's sister" Sue on Quotev, bad enough a mini is spawned in the very first sentence. I was thinking on going after it for the mission after my current WIP, but if anyone wants it or would like a look, it's here: http://www.quotev.com/story/3035088/A-Hobbit-and-A-Dwarf/
I see him quite often on the Pit these days.
I'd invest ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
[/Austin Powers]
It would almost be, what's the phrase, insult to injury if someone's books caught fire.
Bookshop Owner: No! A horrible fire resulting from my assistant's careless use of the coffee maker has burned up every book in the store! I'm ruined!
Assistant: Look on the bright side, sir. At least the covers are all right.
Bookshop Owner: (sobs)
We also need fireproof gloves and papers.
I might have a look at the first one next I'm in need of mission material.
He made pop songs a part of a turn of the century drama/comedy piece set in a French brothel, and it worked.
I know some people thought it was jarring/hated it, but I personally thought it really underlined how much Gatsby's parties looked like Vegas nightclubs in the film, and it just lent more of a cautionary tale sorta feeling to the film.
Also, having read the Great Gatsby, Daisy really wasn't that bad a character.
If anything, Nick's folks were worse by comparison.
I liked Daisy well enough, even though my teacher hated her. I thought Carey Mulligan did her well in her portrayal - the bit when she mentioned her daughter being a fool seemed to hint that Daisy really wasn't a fool, either.
I sporked the first one here.
Nah, probably wouldn't work.
Followed the blog on my tumblr. As an aside, if you find yourself winding why one of my blogs is random nonsense, it's because it's purely about the odd stuff Kitty and I say on the weekends, when making sense is not a priority.
Though honestly I think I prefer Mini-Eckleburg Eyes. They JUDGE YOU.
It's a...
*sunglasses from the heavens*
...COOL CRITTER.
Without incinerating the car, that is?
I mean, he's really just a small, psychotic, angelic-force-turned-bad Balrog, when you get down to the bare bones of it.
He's covered in fire, a Balrog is covered in fire...
He carries a fiery whip, a Balrog carries a fiery whip...
Or just, in general?
Or something. :'D
Shout out to Riese, there.
You can get the text from the page source, though.
But I can't access the page source on my phone, is the thing, hence I need somebody to do it for me.
Can you please give me your e-mail?
Email is in the subject bar. My username should be red.
*sigh*
Email is sfclemons@gmail.com
Secondary is heofthespecs@gmail.com
Take your pick.
"And will shine blue when Orcs are near"
I'm sorry? I thought Sting was unique in this regard? Orcrist sure didn't shine blue, and it was intended for killing orcs and such. Legolas' knives dont ever shine blue. In fact, I don't recall any other occurence outside of Sting where an elf-crafted blade shone blue in the presence of orcs.
Guh. Quotev makes their Sues so painfully obvious, it burns my eyes.
Or at least all Elf blades forged in the First Age in Gondolin do.
How many of those swords could possibly still be found that she has TWO?
...Gondolin-forged magic glowing swords is really damn low unless she knows about Gondolin and stuff.
Still, all three of the Elf-swords in the Hobbit are supposed to glow blue; they don't in the films because PJ's an idiot.
Hey, development hell can cause that. The Hobbit WAS a pretty big film, after all.
Meh, as long as Sues don't start claiming Speshul Swords that glow blue, I'll be - oh.
Also, what are the odds that the words she named her swords are ACTUALLY what they mean?
I'm just gonna hinge a bet and say they aren't.