Subject: Sauron's Next Target defies logic
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Posted on: 2013-04-24 03:08:00 UTC

Feanor poured the shards of the Silmarils into his blood. This, of course, meant that the shards of the Silmarils would remain in his bloodline forever and that all the shards would come together in the blood of his last descendant (who, of course, is the super speshul Mary Sue). If Sauron drained the blood from her body he'd get the Silmarils, which only she can bind together. The Silmarils can be used to bring back Morgoth.

There's also Dragon Riders, elves riding Cold Drakes. Mary Sue is "of Dragon Rider descent" too. She even has a necklace that makes her their leader. Theodred gave her a necklace that contained the only Silmaril not in her blood. Guess what else?

Mary Sue is the daughter of Finrod Felagund, whose canonical death in Tol-in-Gaurhoth was just a rumor. He's been living in Middle-earth all this time. Her mother is Amarie, Finrod's canon beloved. Obviously Tolkien didn't know what he was talking about, because she came to Middle-earth and died near Bree, 15 years after giving birth. Mary Sue then wandered off to roam Middle-earth.

The sequel is even worse. Mary Sue's mother was a vampire and Middle-earth is apparently home to Chimeras, who just so happen to hate vampires. Also, she's apparently Queen of the Noldor and Valinor. She gets a letter from her aunt in Valinor, flies off on the back of her Cold Drake, and finds out that her aunt is marrying her off.

Sense this series makes not.
I need Bleeprin.

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