Subject: I envy your browserlessness
Author:
Posted on: 2013-04-23 17:08:00 UTC
Oh, by the way, my writing group has started using Circle of Lemmings for editing night so that we have to suffer through the worst possible editing experiences in order to form group editing solidarity and to keep us in perspective about editing each other's stuff.
http://www.quotev.com/story/1820954/Doctor-Who-Short-Love-Stories/1/
This is by the infamous creator of the Weeping Angles fic and the Lituriture Adventures of Molly Smith (and that Narnia fic that Specs and Co. MSTd a couple months ago). This one could potentially be a co-op mission between several Agents, each one tackling a different short story (fairly certain all of them have wracked up killworthy charges in the chapter they feature in).
I just reported it because the first Sue's name is River Lilly. I'm offended for both my own penname and River Song's sake.
Here: http://ppc.timescale.nl/02torchwood.html
Also, I remembered wrong; they chained him next to Tantalos. What can I say, I need to brush up on my mythology.
~DF
I couldn't help it. It just had to happen. I'm pretty sure it's not going in part 4--it looks more like part 5 to me--but it's happening.
And I'm about to write Agent Luxury for the first time. Oh dear...
~DF
No one will be safe!
My Agents would go into the first one to realise this sue regenerates in Urple or something. I dunno.
That way you have control over Jack's recruitment, and my Agents can see the fulfillment of their Very Bad Idea. :'D
You could join our collaboration if you want. It'd be good mission writing practice.
I actually like that idea, and we could just portal Jacques away before sending the Sue to Timecop.
It might be better to use one you're going to try to get Permission with, so you and the rest of us can get a handle on how they tick. Floaters are definitely okay for a mission of this sort, since it's got crossovers and slash and Sues.
Just intro us to your Agents in the email and we'll begin.
We could probaly continue the discussion there.
dawnfire360@gmail.com
Talk to you soon!
~DF
We had suggested that maybe Jack was there in the mayhem as well. The real Jack, that is - although if the Doctor ran into this potential Agent Jack, there could be some hilarious confusion going down.
There'd also be an HQ-wide petition to put a restraining order between him and Luxury.
I imagine something with Boe or Boeshane needs to be involved in the name somehow. Boniface? Bonnefoy?
I think Bonnefoy would be funny because France in Hetalia is called Francis Bonnefois, and he's pretty much Jack Harkness, but French.
For added Frenchness, how about Jacques Bonnefoy?
I just had the mental image of Agent Jacques going around asking people "voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?"
We're going to have to make sure he and Luxury never meet for extended periods of time.
The TCDA agents and Nikki and Sergio were found because they are temporal spatial anomalies within the PPC. Agent Jack would've been found out.
Alternatively, the Doctor could,be been confused by his presence and simply chosen not to contact him, partly because Jack is from his continuum, and partly because... Well, Jack's connected to his former lives,and would probably open old wounds that he doesn't want to discuss.
I had the thought that he scanned using the sonic screwdriver. It can scan for lifeforms, so it can probably scan for temporal-spatial anomalies to contact. He then modified a RA to contact those temporal-spatial anomalies.
In the message, there were 2 RCs contacted, but I can always go back and add a third if you want, as long as you give me the number.
I'm not one for technical stuff, but I imagine he scanned for anomalies, found their approximate coordinates with the Remote Activator, and then modified said portal thingy to send messages to the location. It just so happens that the TCDA Agents and Nikki and Sergio were in their proper RCs (or at least the TCDA Agents were in their prime counterpart's RC).
Barring that, even if they were in a different RC, the Doctor would probably have sent the message to the nearest console.
He's in the hallways being chased by Slorp, after all. In the interlude, the message is from "UNKNOWN [ERROR: INVALID CONSOLE IP]", which means the post system might've picked up that the IP of the RA isn't that of a console's.
Aside from that, your explanation is basically what I'm going for.
Most of the hacking he'd do would be to make it so that the RA sends text and not a plothole trigger. No console needed, so long as he knows what he's doing within the network, and who am I kidding if I'm saying he wouldn't? He's the Doctor. He could probably hack into a communication network with what he found in an office supply closet. Just wave the sonic screwdriver over the contents and bam! Now this discarded fork is a hyperspace tuning module! This stack of pens is a signal magnification array! So on and so forth.
Aside from that I think this could turn out quite well. I suggest you write the bit with the Doctor doing the scans and sending the message, since I didn't cover it.
I don't mind spoilers overmuch. :3
I thought at first it could be an agent team going in only yo get thrown into the next story/chapter, and the next, and the next. Then I thought what if all the stories were happening at the same time so all these different agents assigned to the Sues go into the same fic...
And then I thought of the Sue Lord idea that was bandied in one of my missions, and wondered if all these girls (and one guy) could all just be the same Suvian presence, in different regenerations. The first time the agents kill her, she regenerates into the next one and travels to wherever the next chapter needs her to be. And we may need backup to kill then Sue Lord and her Jack Harkness replacement.
Do the two fanfics I mentioned (Mental Colt and my own Midnight Green) need to be sporked?
If nobody asnwered, is probably because nobody read them yet.
I, for example, am not knowledgeable with the fandom, and so I simply can't give an opinion.
I'm just not overfond of not getting responses to what I say.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2182597/1/Watchwoman-of-the-Light
So apparently Will's not the last of the Old Ones after all, and doesn't even have the decency to be surprised about it, there's a copy of the book of Gramarye, and it's set in modern times despite Will being something like fourteen or fifteen. Not to mention that the Suethor basically took the first few chapters of TDiR, summarized them and made a few changes. It angers me!
And they're summarizing because they didn't get all of the mythology bits, I'm sure. Some of that's pretty much direct (horrible) paraphrase, and even though the SPAG is acceptable, the pacing and diction is most definitely not.
... Stop trying to drag me back into sporkdom, Alia, it won't work! (Not that I wouldn't rather do that than write a paper, but...)
I just read Susan Cooper's book Seaward today, which was absolutely marvelous and beautiful, so I have yet more appreciation for her writing, and, proportionally, an even greater hate for those that would do it wrong.
I didn't intend to, but perhaps I shall. Procrastination is fun!
Until I finish my thesis. Then I can procrastinate all I want.
Are there any opinions on the two fics I linked?
And she got aaaaallll the Council lines right, and even made some sensible comments....
And then SHE started talking. GAH!
This sounds just like a fic that Jay and Acacia would have tackled back in the day. A tenth walker with an extra Ring, questionable parentage, and "A Legolas Love story"? I don't think we have to guess if she's a Sue! The Misogynist!Boromir and modern slang in Middle Earth is just icing on the radioactive waste cake.
I wonder if it would be a bit too meta to write an OFU about writing OFUs. Would that be like a teacher accreditation programme, I wonder?
Both were written after IAHF, and one actually plagiarised the opening chapter of IAHF.
That must suck. What happened? Did they get reported?
The other one may still be around; it's called the Hetalia Writing Academy.
What the - no, just, no. Does this mean that Finrod is supposed to be a descendant of his uncle? That family tree is way the heck to complicated already, what with the changes in HoME and all. And the bit with the "shards of the Silmarils"? Gah.
As for the rest - what hS said. That was awesome. I also agree with DawnFire about dragging Dafydd kicking and screaming out of retirement for this one. (Except he's got his kids now. Hmmm.)
At least it was just the shards of the Silmarils ... although where Feanor got those shards from before his death-by-Balrog is another question, because I'm positive that none of them were destroyed in canon. One sails the skies on Earendil's boat, one was thrown into a crack in the earth, and one was thrown into the sea. When Feanor died, Morgoth still owned all three of them.
I don't understand. I don't understand it at all.
There's also a Suvian Silmaril in one of her necklaces.
I think that in canon, the Silmarils weren't supposed to be broken until after the end of Dagor Dagorath. Not sure about the Very Bad Things though, my copy of the book is somewhere at home.
Perhaps you can make the Children of Feanor being given a day pass to punish the Sue for crafting another potential source of conflicts. I'm not very sure about the canonness of that, though.
Considering his backstory and all...
Yes, a Nargothronder would be great, and so would Dafydd screaming at her about the Silmarilli.
(Come to think about it, I once found a character replacement of Feanor I'm thinking of recruiting - in the distant future, when I have Permission, of course. I think he'd have something to say about this abuse of his shinies, as well...)
They can't put them in the canon anywhere, obviously, but if they're brought back to HQ, we could potentially have another Sairalindë situation on our hands. Plus, the blood-Silmaril is in pieces. Should it be reassembled? Could it?
Ah, Agent Huinesoron. And Dafydd showing up to shout about Simarils! I'm excited.
/nabs the Simaril before anyone notices
She uses the word 'Simarillion' pretty often...
Actually I'm imagining a Simaril as being a Treeslight-containing version of a plumbbob from The Sims... possibly if you hold it you end up talking in Simlish. Now that belongs in HQ.
hS
Word to the wise: never go pit or circle diving without backup!
... That's not how DNA or bloodlines work... there is no actual transfer of blood... not paternally, at any rate...
Wait, why am I doing this again?
I didn't think it would be that bad...
Why are you doing that?
Then again, I'm not much better. I'm trying to figure out how the Oath of Feanor works in relation to that fic. It's not going well.
... Trying to make things make sense is an unfortunate habit of mine.
Handcuffs and Alibis
I just looked at the summary, but the Sue's name is Bryëton Sairalindë Ciryatan. That middle name is familiar... Let's just hope she doesn't have a ring, shall we?
Why does Thorin press-gang her into his Company via blackmail, only to order her to contribute nothing to the quest?
And why oh why is her horse named Riddick?
I'm busy for a few days, and this is what I come back to? Kill these fics. With extreme prejudice. They never learn, do they?
All of this gratituous progeny of Sauron reminds me of a series I recently read, which also has a son of Sauron in it. HOWEVER, the canon is pretty much left alone, said half-Maia is either off doing other things at the time or a witness to the events. (That said, there's a lot of explicit slash and violence, truly weird pairings and lots of OCs running around.)Here it is.(definitely NSFW)
You could even send your co-ordinators into it, rather than agents, since it's been implied in a few OFUs that most co-ordinators have PPC experience, and they'd be most likely to be outraged at the desecration of their work.
Maybe this is a terrible idea. I don't know. I just like the mental image I'm getting of all of these headmaster/headmistress-looking people portalling in and making puns about education as they blow the roof off of the Sueniveristy.
She trusts Miss Maria to run OFAS while she's gone.
Also, I like the word "Sueniversity".
He doesn't have all that much to do, anyway. OFUDisc is pretty small.
hS
(Can we do this? Okay, I mean, obviously the best-case is that gingerlee listens to 221Bagel's comments, but if she doesn't, can we do this? Pleeeeeease? ~hS)
... her lotrfanfiction.net version pretty much has one reviewer over and over. No, Chuckles, it's /not/ that popular.
Any objections to my working up a OFU2: Chapter 0 and making a thread to see if we have any other volunteers (and to collect email addresses, and decide which of the three Sueniversitys mentioned we want to go with first...)?
hS
In the meantime I suggest we tackle one of the numerous Hetalia rip off OFUs out there. (/siiiiiiigh why oh WHY.)
...is the main character somewhat Sueish by virtue of the fact that she goes immensely against the norm and we haven't been given a reason for her being there yet? And, more importantly: are there no minis?
But yes. Definitely in. Something about this story bugs me. I think it's the occasional bad grammar, the canons being constantly amazed by Rory, and the lack of minis, which practically characterizes an OFU.
~DF
IAHF is a little occupied by an invading Sue force, but I think the Course Coordinators have escaped and are on the run. The Coordinators of MSFBA are up to the challenge as well.
I feel like such a fic intervention might help people realise just how much work goes into writing an OFU, and how there's an even higher expectation of quality for that sort of fic.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8853080/1/Hetalia-Academy-for-Obsessed-Fan-Fiction-Writers-HAOFFW
You see, she claims to be a fan of IAHF... and then she writes that.
I just -
I cannot.
That is... Oh, the horrible, cruel irony of it all.
Lily, have you met Cthulu, the mini I accidentally created the other day? Here, you can have her/him/it to eat the Princess Anahita character.
But my Lovecraft knowledge only covers four or five stories, so... yeah, I'd say go.
The mini is a mini-Nightgaunt. It is now official, as much as a race of minis that hasn't shown up can be.
Also, "AND HER NAME IS FRANCE. FRAAAAANCE. JE NE VEUX PAS." XD
This reporting of badfics sounds like oodles of fun!
Our collective sanities may snap at the deluge.
(Unless the Sue in question is extremely interesting in her Canon warping.)
Seriously. The circle of lemmings is clearly the lowest common denominator... And that profile is horrible. Horrible, I say!
Sooner or later we're going to need people to specialize in sporking stuff from Quotev that has these horrible things like author and character bios and pictures.
Every time I find a badfic I think it's the worst thing I have ever seen, but then I find a fic that's even worse.
If I was the Doctor, the Circle would be the Daleks.
Did you notice that if you go to Circle of Lemmings, and you just click on "FanFiction," it's ALL RPF for One Direction and Justin Bieber?
Brb, my brain just ran away.
My sanity is fragile enough as it is without accidentally encountering boy band slash. (shudders)
I thought we knew that by now.
Seriously no one on the Circle seems to have ever heard of the term Mary Sue. Every time I think they've mangled Canon beyond belief, they find some new way to make me sick.
And at last I realise why the Oods wanted the circle broken.
Sixteen is just begging for the Goddess of Grammar to smite thee with her semicolon. Especially if the sentence is much shorter than the punctuation trail.
(Can I say I just really like your writing style based on that? You should have one of your Agents keep a journal in which all of this is recorded. It's glorious.)
I just searched up "Pokemon" and now I'm practically drowning in potential targets. This is like some kind of horrible fractal that never ends no matter how deep you go...
Welcome to the Circle. There is no escape.
... which is what we should do to fic from the circle, really.
I figure a lot of this stuff is probably well covered by DMS and department of WTF, but I'd still love to see the trials and tribulations of some agents who kept getting Circle of Lemmings fic. I think they'd be even less sane than the usual PPC agent.
I think I know who I'm going to subject to cave-in and accordion.
The sad part is that it looks like the author COULD write well, but then her character starts talking and it BUUUUURNS
And then I saw the address. Whoop dee doo.
I still don't get the whole character introduction thingy. Where would you even get that from? No medium I know does that. So it's not just "never read a book," but more like "never seen any fiction." Wat.
I THINK it's supposed to be like those opening pages in manga tankobon, where it tells you the current cast.
Still, not every manga does that, and they also do that because they only come out once in a while... on the other hand, without that introduction part, we couldn't probably tell who's who.
Oh, by the way, my writing group has started using Circle of Lemmings for editing night so that we have to suffer through the worst possible editing experiences in order to form group editing solidarity and to keep us in perspective about editing each other's stuff.
Who'd have thunk?
I showed the circle to one of my real life friends: she nearly cried.
It's actually an interesting concept... the problem is that it reminds me altogether too much of Chivalry Reborn, a (in my opinion) Human-In-Equestira goodfic.
As in, "human turns out to be descended from superbeings, who'da thought." And CR does it well; and despite being an alicorn, the OC is NOT a sue. He doesn't have instant mastery of anything; I think I got about ten chapters in and he still hadn't done well in magic.
Telekinesis magic. Which I'm pretty sure is the most basic kind in MLP.
Why this same exact formula? It almost sounds like a typical romance novel.
FFN has aged somewhat away from the classic Sue clichés, because everyone and their mini has read all the parodies and know what clichés to avoid. AO3 is largely full of invite-only, more experienced authors who are less likely to make a travesty of their OCs.
And then you've got the Circle, which seems almost like a terrifying little pocket universe that gives us all a glimpse into what it must've looked like on FFN before Jay and Acacia started writing the TOS, before Miss Cam created OFUM, etc.
Just look at Twilight. I still dug through the Pit of Voles in search of goodfic when the fandom exploded and the badfic gave me nightmares.
Or at least, obscure to FFN. You know you're in a safe fandom when a character can be loved by almost every fan and not have any character/Sue fics at all.
Uuuuuhhh.........
I don't even have Lord of the Rings as one of my fandoms, and that knocked out my disbelief regulators almost immediately. Sweet Eris. I don't even want to click the link, in case it makes me vomit in real life.
Sauron didn't even make the Ring until what, halfway through the Second Age? He turned evil before the First Age even started but his forging the Ring was the last straw for his wife? By the time he forged the Ring, his kid's formative years were over!
Besides, if he had a family before he turned evil, then Sauron was shacking up with another Maiar. Barring Melian, have any of the Maiar ever had kids? Is it even possible for two Maiar to reproduce?
I get the feeling the author doesn't know anything much about the history of Middle-Earth.
I suddenly had the terrifying mental image of Sauron/Gandalf.
/jumps back into lake of Bleepka
It could be funny. Imagine a giant eyeball trying to have sex. It just doesn't work.
That sounds a lot like something that happened in "ITS MY LIFE!", also known as My ImPortal. SFW, oddly. (I don't think you have to ask if it's SFB.)
Couldn't resist. Although I certainly hope this fic doesn't have the power of voodoo.
I'm guessing it's a Portal fic? *sigh* I don't think I want to know...I mean, I can probably guess, anyway, so...
~DF
The Sue is a sister!Sue for Chell, and somehow manages to get pregnant with Wheatley's baby, despite Wheatley being a robot eyeball. It's a confirmed trollfic, though, so at least we know that the writer didn't make that scene thinking it was a good idea.
It's even better if you think about the Thoreau essay about observation, which is about being a floating transparent eyeball wandering about the world...
I imagine a lot of the observations would be of people fleeing from the giant eyeball that was hovering toward them. Since it's transparent, they wouldn't see it from far away, but once it was close up, they could see how the shapes of objects beyond are distorted through its round form, and there would be a panic. Rumors would spread, tales would be concocted, a local news team would be called out. Local kooks would blame aliens, the FBI, and foreigners, and the people would try and find it to see what weapon could bring it down from its hovering perch, while all the while the eye would sit there, among the multiplying chaos. Watching. Learning.
He was in his original form. But then he'd be inhumanly handsome (gee, remind you of anything) and thus he ate oranges and it was k.
Also, I'm a Disturbed1. Does anyone else think that Old Friend could be an anthem for the DMS?
Then they'd both be inhumanly handsome. I think.
Anyone know what forms they originally took? I know Sauron took on a "fair visage" when he called himself Annatar and I'm assuming he also had a fair visage when he was still a Maiar of Aulë.
That...actually manages to remind me of Gandalf. Well done, artist (whoever you may be!)
~DF
Maia!Gandalf has better hair than me. Jealous.
At least she was like me, and nice enough to ADMIT that her work is bad.
..... wait..... INTEXT WEBLINKS? Charge it!
.... that reminds me, I need to figure out my agent. Should I ever start doing this, that is...
I'm not even sure what it's a monument to, but it's a pretty versatile arch shape, which is why I decided on it as opposed to a thicker, blocker arch shape like 
