Subject: Not a PG, but...
Author:
Posted on: 2010-01-08 09:26:00 UTC

Nice work :) I particularly like your use of dictionary definitions intercutting with emotive dialogue, and I like how much I was able to feel along with the character without ever knowing a thing about him-or-her.

One thing - you may want to add a little more depth to your agent's profile - not much, just a few comments that make him (her?) more than a statistic. What kind of fic did SAMS come from? What fandom? What are her (I'll go with her, given the use of "Sue" and not "Stu") main characteristics or quirks? What lingering effects of her Sueish past does she struggle with, or what sort of quirks does she have that will make her an interesting character to read and write?

On a different note, if "SAMS" (or, heaven forbid, "S.A.M.S") the "name" you intent to write with, I suggest forming some kind of nickname very soon, because all caps and acronyms are rather tiresome to read (let alone write) throughout a story.

I would also not suggest having only one agent - I've tried it, and writing missions with only one agent is, frankly, boring as well as hard. I think the Flowers have something against it, too - if an agent loses their temper and there's no one around to hold them back, things can get very ugly. We (including you) are here for comedic entertainment, and a one-man show - even if it's a snarky MST of the badfic - is just never as good as a banter between two, especially if they're polar opposites.

That said, don't let me get you down! I like your writing style and I think you will do pretty well, but the PGs will likely give you similar replies, so if I tell you in advance, you can expand your agent profile now, before they see it. Gives a good impression ;)

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