Subject: Minor point:
Author:
Posted on: 2009-10-24 22:01:00 UTC

You say 'I've read a story in a paper once about a woman who had been raped and then refused to even talk to her husband or two sons (one of whom was five) because "ZOMG men are evil!"'

Er, just one little thing here, but ... trauma is not rational. Fear is not rational. The little gut, knee-jerk reactions you have to things are not rational.

I got followed home from the bus stop in the dark once by a drunk man who would not take hints to leave me alone. It sounds minor, doesn't it. Trivial.

I wasn't able to walk home from the bus on my own for two months after that, because I was afraid. I knew it was minor, and trivial, and irrational, but the fact of the matter was, I was too scared to do it.

So if you tell me that a woman who was *raped* was too scared to have contact with men, any men, even her own male child, afterwards, I'm going to tell you that I am not surprised. In fact what surprises and humbles me every day is to hear stories of people who have survived traumatic events and can still function - women who were raped, yeah, but also people who've been in earthquakes, or burning buildings, children who were abused. Hell, dogs that were beaten.

Trauma. It's called 'trauma' because it's traumatic. It affects you. It messes you up. You cannot expect someone who's been through major trauma to just get up the next day and move on with their lives like nothing's happened.

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