Subject: Okay, let's see how my ferrets come out ...
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Posted on: 2009-09-12 17:45:00 UTC

Okay, Murphy's a big fat sable-pattern ferret, with a bad case of hairless tail (something to do with his last moult going funny, the vet assures us it should grow back). He used to be a stray, and was in an unfortunate accident which, to put it bluntly, circumcised him, poor little guy. He's cute and huggable and I've trained him to lick my nose on command ("kiss!" - awwww ^_^) but he has the disgusting habit of drinking his own urine, then trying to lick inside my nose and mouth, so I don't do that often.

Jinx is smaller, skinnier, and yellow. He doesn't do hugs as much, he's a wriggly little monster and he's always gotta be doing something. He still bites sometimes, but he has an excuse because he appears to have been neglected a bit as a kit. I haven't been able to train him to do anything except let go when I yell at him for biting me again.

*turn on Sueify machine*

Okay, after Sueification, Murphy's tail hair is back ... and he now has three of them, which he can spin around really fast to fly with like a helicopter. Instead of being different shades of brown, his fur is now raven black and snowy white (it actually physically hurt to type that). In place of his unfortunate injury from when he was a stray, he now has a dramatic battle scar on his shoulder, where it's clearly visible and a lot less embarrassing, from one of the many times he saved Sue-me's life. He now understands English perfectly rather than just obeying one command when he feels like it, and he no longer has his bad habit of drinking his own urine because I'm pretty sure Cute Animal Friends don't excrete. (It's not "cute" to mess everywhere, and if they don't have to pass waste a Sue can keep them in her pocket/handbag/bra for as long as she wants.)

Jinx now has bright gold-coloured fur instead of pale yellow, and he understands English as well. Instead of merely being able to squeeze through most small gaps I don't want him to squeeze through, he now has the power to phase through solid walls. And rather than simply never having suffered any interesting injuries, he has magical regeneration powers! And teeth which can puncture solid steel! And super-speed! And ... argh, this is painful to imagine.

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