Subject: Excuse me while I throw up.
Author:
Posted on: 2009-07-11 02:53:00 UTC
That was the most convoluted piece of rubbish I have read YET on this terrible website. English is not a language which capitalises words other than proper nouns and those at the beginning of a sentence. Learn our language properly before you try to use it.
We here at Fanfic Land are starting to get a little worried. We haven't seen any of our great writers in the PPC section for quite a while... in fact, it's been a whole year!! Have you all forgotten about us?!
But since we don't hold grudges, we forgive you all. In fact, we'd love to have you back -- or if you're a new writer since last year, we'd just love to have you! So why not come by, show off your creative talents, at Fanfic Land -- The Fanfic You Can't Find Anywhere Else!
((Or, in other words, it's July again, which makes it time for the annual PPC Badfic Game. This is the game where we poke fun at:
1) Badfic authors.
2) Reviewers of badfic authors, be they squealing fangirls, bitter flamers, or whatever.
3) Ourselves and the entire PPC.
We do this, of course, by writing deliberately bad fanfiction of the PPC. The conceit is that an internet archive, Fanfic Land, accepts fanfic of the PPC -- so anything you'd see in LotR, Potterverse, Redwall or whatever shows up in the PPC section.
Unfortunately my coding skills aren't massive, so what we (and 'we' means anyone on the Board -- this game doesn't require Permission or anything else) actually do is post stories and reviews on the Board (in this thread, please, and preferably with reviews all attached to the right stories), and I upload them all onto FfL. And make things like author bios while I do so.
Now, this is all supposed to be fun -- and remember, if you get flamed, it's not real, it's just another aspect of the game -- so enjoy yourselves! It'd help me if people can include a rating, genre and summary on their stories, and an author bio if you aren't a return customer, or want to update yours ;). Plus, remember to pick a badfic author name for yourself -- you can see the sort of things people use on the PPC Section of FfL. Let's see if we can keep the thread entirely in-character.
Enjoy!
hS))
((Oh, and to anticipate a comment from Laburnum, you're probably best off not writing about Stormsong or Skyfire, for copyright reasons. The rest of the PPC, though -- anyone or anything in it -- is available for you to do anything to. Take a look over the past three years' entries if you don't believe me! ~hS))
suppose this is how Jaycacia Thornbyrd, Funeral for an Angil and Agent Daffyd + The Gurl originated?
I think.
I'd get involved, but I should probably refamiliarise myself about the PPC first and that'd take twelve years.
Given that I know people sometimes write (bad) fanfic based on the trailers for films which haven't come out yet... :P
(And yes, this is the cause of Jaycacia and etc. Muahaha)
hS
because I'm guilty of wanting to write fanfic based on trailers, but I wouldn't dare to do it about the PPC in case Pads and Trojie killed me. Not that I'd write about them, I swear! *cowers* Don't hurt me.
You should have seen what happened in the last ShipFicFest ...
In other words, if you have some weird badfic idea involving Trojie, at least (I can't speak for Pads) I'd be amused rather than homicidal about it.
Did I miss it this year or something? Or did we all forget about it?
... it was later in the year, but the Wiki says June... so we forgot about it. :P Maybe we can have it later.
hS
Although that might give the impression that we do something different along these lines every month... which isn't a bad idea, I suppose, but could probably turn out rather badly. *shrug*
oh, I don't know, turned Trojie into a dinosaur looking to join in with Littlefoot, Ali and Cera?
And therefore I would not take it seriously :)
there's badfic and then there's badfic when you have no idea what's going on or who these people are.
The whole idea here is parody. You don't have to know anything about the characters other than the names, and just write them into any kind of badfic you like. Nobody will mind at all. We all know it's just parody. Nobody'll get insulted.
Anyone who didn't want their agents used will have said so. I believe that's... two people? Three? And they're all mentioned in this thread. The entire point of this game is to be stupid and give others the chance to either act the same or treat you like the horrible fic writer they would have loved to scream at.
Everything's in good fun. I just told three people that their work was dreadful and squeed at others, acted like a homophobe and then a boring snob. If you wanted to write about Agent Sedri doing a pole dance and stripteasing for the Flowers, I'd laugh, whereas in any other circumstances I'd be embarrassed. Go ahead.
Maybe next year (this is annual, right?).
Although in all honesty, I would rather that you didn't.
And yes, it's annual, unless we forget about it, in which case you should post a reminder.
Not that I'd have the slightest guy how to write a pole dance anyway.
Sorry, the sentence said something else originally and I obviously didn't change it all.
And frankly, neither do I. That's why it's so OOC.
((This looks like fun :D ))
UN: vampyregrrl
Bio: Hia a ll u kool catzz LOL Im a BIGGG fan of teh PpC!! Exspeclley of maksThings nd the sO tho he iz so mEeeeen sumtimes loLolol!1! Nd I tought I;d tri wrting some sturies of my ownn so telll meh what u think cuz my bFf sayz their reall gud!1!!!!!11
oK chappiez, here is mi 1st storie! I hop u alll l ike it lOl!!
&^%$(****&^%%*(*(&&&
One day in Hq t was a normul day an jay an aCacaica had jjust come bak from a missson wher they kiulled a totally eEEEvil Sue nd fed her to teh blrogg (aN is that how u splkl it? cn;t rememenebr wht its clled lol) an now they wr stting in theyre rC w hen t consle went bipp! And jy sad 'thas wierd. it nevr just goes bip it alwrys, goes BEEEEEPPPPPPP!!1!1!' (AN it does 2, lolol!!) So theyl uuked at the csreen & tehre was a msg from the S O! sayin 'come to myy offic now!!!'
So when the got to hiz offce he) was sittting behind the dskj frwoning (AN can fLowers frown lol? well just say they cn) at thm an he said 'u 2 are in lots of truble! U wll have to do xtra missons as punishmint!!' An acacai said 'oh noes! why do u lways have 2 be so meeen to us?' an Jai said 'yes, u shoud b nicer to us,' And thn the S.o said, 'U R right I should' an then he smild at thm & sad 'oK, I willl giv u a pay rize insted!!' An Jy an Accaca wre supre happpy!!!!1!!111!! (an; cos they g ot a pay rize loL!)
^%#^$&^$&&^(*&(&)(&
so whut do u thinkk!!! Shuld i write moarr!?!?! R&R PLEASE IF U DO U WILL GET A COOKIE IF YOU FLAME MY I WILL LAUGH A T U!!!!11!1!11!!!!
BUT I think yuov'e got it backwards becaus ethe SO isnt' evil its' Arcacia whose evil so mabye you should make a new story about how Acacia mindcontroled the So to make him seem evil. aNyway thats' just my sujeston.
I am not sure whtr i lik this or not. yo ahve lots of rndom punctuation an the SO wuldnt just agree t be nicr just like that. also whre he get the pay raise from? your styro doesnt make much sense to me. mabe make more explntations of what happens with SO and Jay and Acacia so we undastarnd bettrer, ok?
-MystikalLuvrRr
Genre: General
Summary: Teh SO lerns th erorr of his wayz!!!1! LOLL!!!
((Sorry, it appears that I'm not having a good night :P))
Rated K+, category: PPC
Rating: G
Genre: General, Romance
Category: Official Fanfiction Universities
Summary: Prequel to Masquerade of OFUM. Lilith Wydenbrooke is selected to attend OFUM! A Frodo Fangirl, what happens to her when Legolas falls for her? R/R please!
Author’s Notes: This is the prequel to “Masquerade of OFUM”! Hope you enjoy reading it and Read and Review! Please!
The Diary of Lilith Wydenbrooke
September 1st
OFUM
Dearest Elwing,
My name is Lilith Wydenbrooke, and I will be your best friend throughout our years together here at OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth. Somebody left you on my bed, and I find it very nice (and handy) to have a new friend and confidant.
First off, I would like to tell you of all the exciting things that have happened so far in my life. On Earth I am an ordinary preteen girl who is trying to survive the sudden onslaught if hormones. In fact, I find Frodo absolutely adorable! So right then and there, after I had read the trilogy three times through (each book, mind you), the Hobbit two times through, and the Silmarillion’s “Of Beren and Luthien” section six times (I read the rest at least four times through), I decided to watch the movies, and Frodo was even cuter! So then, I wrote a batch of crossovers and a few drabbles, and then, I wrote a Tenth Walker Mary-Sue. Well, I wrote it purely out of curiosity, and, so, curiosity sent the cat to Middle-earth.
I have a carbon of my acceptance letter and registration form. Here it is:
Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth
Headmaster: [That’s for me and the staff to know, and you to find out. Signed, Miss Cam]
Assistant Headmaster: Gandalf Stormcrow
Course co-ordinator: Miss Camilla Sandman
Head of staff: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King Elessar, Strider, Wingfoot, the Elfstone, etc.
Dear Miss Lilith Wydenbrooke,
We are not completely pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth. We have become aware of your most recent fanfiction piece entitled “A Mary Sue in Middle Earth”.
Below is a list of subjects you will be covering this year and your registration form. Please fill out the form.
We hope to see you at OFUM tomorrow via Rohan Express carriage!
Signed, Miss Cam
Official Fanfiction University, Middle-earth
Registration Form
NAME: _________________
RACE:
Elf/Hobbit/Dwarf/Man (Homo Sapiens)/*Other (please specify) ________
*Note: if your race is one that can enchant males, the influence will not affect them here at OFUM.
GENDER:
Male Female
LUST OBJECT:
Legolas/Frodo/Aragorn/Boromir/Pippin/Merry/Sam/Other (please specify) _________
FEAR OF SPIDERS:
Yes/No
FEAR OF HEIGHTS:
Yes/No
PERFERRED DARK LORD:
Sauron/Morgoth
CHOOSE A NUMBER:
Ten/Nine/Eleven
So that’s pretty much what the form looked like, really. So I filled it out, and went to sleep, as it was nighttime, you see. When I woke up, I was being tossed around in a carriage. That continued for some time before we pulled up to an imposing castle. There was a wide lake, and a forest of Ents, I believe. Looked quite like Hogwarts, if I do say so myself.
Now, Elwing, did you know that my Student Advisor is LEGOLAS THRANDUILLION, of all the Elves in Arda. I had wished for Elrond or Frodo. I’d choose Elrond since he would actually give advice, seeing as how Imladris is, according to canon, supposed to be a place where one gets advice and knowledge. And I wanted Frodo because of my hormones. What?
You know what else, Elwing? Legolas actually seemed enthusiastic about this whole ordeal, as he insisted on escorting me right into the auditorium. Why then, I ask you, did Eru give me legs? If he insists on propelling me around, I will never need to walk again. How nice.
But he is quite a polite elf, in some ways. He kissed my hand and now half the girls in the University are trying to fish the details out of me, including my own roommate, Nimloth. She is a Legolas Luster and an elf as well. As long as it isn’t Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury I shall be fine, actually. Really, does the wretch need so many names? She is also a Chibi Elf Mary Sue. Trying to catch Legolas’s attention, obviously. As if. Didn’t she read the form?
September 2nd
OFUM
Dearest Elwing,
I think I have a “secret” admirer. I went to the library this morning and when I returned to the dorm to change for the party tonight I found a dress on my bed. There was a note attached to the green brooch on the matching cloak. Not idly do the leaves of Lothlorien fall, and yet the cloak was of Lothlorien make, yet made for dances. I think this person who is giving me these gifts must be one of the Fellowship members after Moria.
Here is the note:
Dearest Lilith,
I love your hair, like midnight in silky rivers.
I love your eyes, like the grey twilight.
If I made it clear that I love you, would you set your hands in mine?
We have met before, and we shall meet again, melamin.
~ An Elvish Admirer
I think the “Elvish Admirer” just made it clear who he is. Better not tell anyone who lusts after him, which is, what? Half of OFUM?
Later:
Dance was absolutely wonderful. Danced with Legolas a lot, before he noticed that a red-haired girl began hitting on Gimli. The girl fainted in his arms and Legolas carried her off to bed. Very nice of him, actually.
~~
Miss Cam blinked as she looked at the diary. It was urple, with pages in wilver covered in blello ink. “What in Eru’s good name IS this?” she demanded of thin air.
The thin air was not sentient, so it did not reply.
The incensed Course Co-ordinator stood up, urple diary loosely clutched in her hand as if it might explode. “I need to alert the staff and the mini-Balrogs. This menance must be stopped. Immediately.”
With that, she strode from the empty classroom.
YOu got haked by the same person who hakked me!! Tahts' so UNFAR! Wh ywould anyone do tha???
Ummmm anyway good sotry.
You arre such a good riter! But i thogt Lilith Wydenbrooke was such a good chararter and not a mary sue at all!!! why is the diary ritten in blello and wilver and urple and sue colours?? and why is Miss Cam claling Lilith a menace in your fic? I am vrrry confused. but please continue riting we do not have enoguh very very good riters here. you r an inspiration to all of us here at fanficland.
with admiration,
MystikalLuvrrRr
I don't know how that came to be! I think someone's hacking my story! Woe is me!
oh no!!!! i have heard of thet!! ths happened also to jaycacai stry that jaybird rote. it is verry bewliderngi to us, but keep riting anyway! this hacker will not win! i sid befre that you are an sinripation to all of us and i ment it. keep writing!!!
I like Lilith and I dont think shes a MarySue at all so you can ignore those other people who say she is because shes not trying to get Legolas because hes the one trying to get hher.
It looks like that hacker who spoils all JayBirds stories is getting into your stuff too now though so maybe you shoud watch out for that because whoever it is theyre spoiling the stories for everyone else.
Well technically its the 3rd chappie but the 1st was a prolouge so this is chappie number 2!
AN: im_tehmarster, your just jealous because i can write better than you so you act mean. Thanx everyone who left NICE reviews!!1!
Chapter 2
the so was sitting in his office starin out the window (AN: do they have windows? cant rembemr) when the door flrw open and agent rebecca walked it.
"sir i think theres someone here who knows you" she said.
she steeped aside and there in the doorway was the last person the so ever thought hed see again. "Raven Rose" he whispered.
the Raven Rose walked into the office as if shed always been there. "hi sunny" she said. "did u miss me?"
she came up to his desk and leaned over giving hima passionate kiss. "i knew u werent dead" the so said when they were done kissing. "i knew it."
"who is she" rebecca asked. the so turned to her. hed been so excited hed forgotten she was there. "this is my true love" he said. "we though she was gone but now shes back."
"but i came back for a reson" said the Raven Rose. "we have to stop them, sunny. they're coming."
AN: its getting exciting, huh? plz r+r! And NO FLAMES!
I am so confussed about thsi stry!!! Raven Rse is not really a kind of flowre is it? and also Flowers That Ben dont have mouths so how ken athey be kissng bpassionately?? id unt unerstand. also flowers tlk in Italics not in Quottion Marks. ples i hope tis story gets exclplauned.
Honest Critic's bio:
I am a naturally talented editor and proofreader with more than a year of experience with story-writing. I know how to avoid all pitfalls and cliches, so if anyone ever needs advice, you are welcome to email me. My stories aim to show how excellent an institution the PPC truly is, and perhaps improve the overall quality of writing on Fanfic Land (which, by the way, should always be spelled as two words, no matter what the site logo seems to imply).
A few tips for all writers:
- Check your spelling and grammar. There is NO EXCUSE for not doing this! If you are incapable, either don't write or ask for help. I am more than willing to provide assistance, free of charge.
- NEVER insert author's notes into your text. This is messy and distracting and always unecessary. If your story doesn't tell us what we need to know, it's a bad story.
- Respect all reviewers. If you are told you need to take the story down and completely re-write it, do so. They know what they're talking about.
~
Title: The Respectful Tale of Canon Correction
Rating: G (Because no story ever needs to include anything indecent.)
Genre: General (What is it with all this romance recently? Once upon a time, the PPC was about improving quality.
Summary: Two agents, Honesty Jones and Charity Whipple, discuss their recent experiences in the PPC Cafeteria, and launch a brilliant plan to restore the agency to its original, pure form.
Agent Honesty Jones, former Bad Slash agent, worked in the Department of Finance and was quite competant. Agent Charity Whipple was active, diligently working to ensure that only the best slash stories were presented to the world at large. The two were friends, and met regularly for tea and coffee in the Cafeteria.
One day, Honesty said, "My friend, I regret to say that I believe the PPC is taking a turn for the worse."
"I agree," replied Charity. "No one seems to care about purity anymore."
"Indeed. I wouldn't be surprised if we were the only two agents left in all the PPC who truly care about restoring goodness and truth to the Word Worlds."
"Honesty, my friend," said Charity, getting an idea; "I have an idea. We should do something about this terrible problem."
"My dear Charity, it is not our place. We should never question Upstairs, no matter how foolish their choices may be."
"My dear Honesty, that is precisely my point. They are making foolish choices, such as allowing agents with obvious mental issues to be partners. If they cannot see that, they do not deserve to BE 'Upstairs'. We should. We should take over management of the PPC."
Honesty considered this. Charity was right, but then, Charity had a tendency to be over-enthusiastic at times when she had consmued just a little more sugar than her diet allowed (Honesty would never say so, of course, for Charity was nervous about her weight, and once had even consumed a glass of alcohol in her worry over it). However, being enthusiastic - or "passionate", as was the more polite term - was not a bad thing, and Honesty decided that her dear friend was right.
"Charity, you are right. The PPC needs a firm hand to ensure its future. We must be that hand. Come; we shall talk to the Department Heads one by one until they conceed to our request."
"Thank you, my friend. However, I suggest we save the Bad Slash Department for last; it is a fine line we Slash agents walk with regards to characterisation. All too often I have found myself forced to destroy many promising relationships that could be legally labelled 'AU' and promoted more worldwide peace and harmony with regards to the issue of personal sexuality."
"You must always be careful, Charity, not to let your good and noble intentions blind you to the issues of characterisation. It is a true shame that so few original story writers are brave enough to face criticism for including bi- and homosexuality in their stories, but it is not our place to allow poorly characterised stories to continue to exist simply because they 'even out' the overall bias towards heterosexuality."
"Indeed, you are right Honesty; I simply grieve for those poor, unfortunate souls who will remain in True Angst forever. Perhaps we should also consult with the Department of Angst..."
"Charity," warned Honesty firmly, "not yet. First we must ensure that the PPC itself functions properly. Then we shall see about changing policies."
"You are right, of course," said Charity. "Let us begin our journey. I suggest we see the Sunflower Official first..."
~ End of Chapter One ~
Gee, you're so conservative! Have some fun, isn't the PPC supposed to be FUN?!
The PPC has been blatently disrespected in recent years and I consider it my DUTY to correct this horrid error.
Hey that rhymed LOL.
The PPc is about having fun and if you cant do that you shouldnt be here and were not disrespecting anything becuase were just having fun!
(AN: OMG its been 4ever! But don't worry, becauds I m back! And I'm going 2 conitue my story! Bur firtst, reviews!
JayBird: Thanks! Whuts a betta? I dont know either, lol.
kawaiiichisgurl4eva: I dnno, lol, ul just have to wait an c!
Lady Cyskia: I kno rite! its unfair. but Arora has sonthing up her slecve! THANKS!)
Aurora walked don the halls of HW with her new flashpatch! which she got from the Marqwuis. She was happy and prud bcus she was going to help him. But 1st she had 2 find herRC. It was 89 (AN I dnno if any1else has that 1, so sorry if they do!) and it was n the Deparment of...
Mary Sues!
She didt like the SO 4 being mean 2 the Marqwuis, but she wanted 2 kill sues, bcuz sues SUCK. She patted the cactus flashpatc on her shoulder and whistled 2 herself 2 find her way. But she didn't get there. She was in th rong hallway! And then she herd a vice in her head, and it said...
(OMG, another cliffie lol! But srsly, idk how 2 do the slanty words, culd some1 plz tell me? Thanks!
XOXOX)
thanx u SO MCUH 4 updatin!
WOW this is so amasing!!!!1!!!
Folwer school
"OMG math is soooo boaring" said the clover "Yeah " said the queens anns lase (A/n in this story they are bf ok?)"and teh teacher isn;t evet cute!!" "yeah its like totally lamwe" sid the clover (A/n in thios story she kind of talks like a vally girl). Suddenly the SO showed up "hey girls ru coming 2 the football game 2nite?" "of course" said the clover "i'm going 2 b there with the cheer team" "Cool said the so "you titally lok hwat in ur cheerleading outfit!" the clover blushed (A/n i know they r flowers but in my story thet can blush ok?") hey said the so do u want to make out with me if i win?" teh clover blushed some moe "ok " she sad.
A/n end of chappie 1!!1!!! OMG what is going 2 happn? plz r&r but no flamz! flamrz hav no life! i rote this at 4 in the morning.
i won't writ more unless i get at least 3 reviews!!1
Teh flowrs are in high shcool!!! that iz soo awsume!! update soon plz i rlly want t o know wht happens next!!!!
Someone else lieks the so too! Yay im not alone!
i hope the so wins and he and the clover fall in luv!
der suld b mure storys abt da flors deyr just suuuu much fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! (an course dey can bluhs ifd u say dey can! ur teh AUTHIOR!)
Iz the clover gonna make out wit the SO!?! Whut about the otherflowers, like the roses and the Marqwuis? Is Jaycacia ther? Wont she b jelus?
XOXOX
I'm not going to write C**t of the S**t C****r stuff anymore, but rest assured, I have other ideas!
Disclaimer: I have not played the World of Darkness games, just read the wiki about them. I also do not own the PPC, although I wish I did. I do own Lyta and Tara-Something.
PPC: Time of Judgement
Prolouge:Omens
Author's Note: This is about the end of the PPC, which will totally be awesome. Lots and lots of Badassery, Crowning Moments of Awesome, and more revalations than your little brains can guess at. Several of them, hinted at throughout all the exsisting mission reports, will also include details of the immense conpiracies that exsist behind every corner. There will also be lots of blood and gore, as well as erotic scenes that will shock and pleasure you.
Hacked Author's Note: This is about the end of the PPC, which will totally be a Wall Banger. Lots and lots of Ass Pulls, Dethroning Moments of Suck, and more egregious Ass Pulls than your brains can guess at. Several of them, not hinted at any of the exsisting mission reports, will also include details of the immense conspiracies that exsist only in the minds of Agents who drink too much bleepka. There will be lots of blood and gore, and scences filled with robotically nonarousing sex that will bore you to sleep.
Agent Lyta Holling walked the corridors of HQ, humming to herself. She had just become an Agent, and was eager to meet her new partner, Agent Tara-Something. She knew that like all other Agents, she was slightly insane. But hopefully, that won't pose an obstacle to her overtures of friendship. She slowed her pace in order not to bump into anyone, and in a quiet spot, she offered a libation to the Ironic Overpower in order to make sure that everything went smoothly.
She then continued on her way, and reached Agent Tara's RC. Then, it hit her: She had been keping track of where she was going, something that in the PPC, was supposed to get her lost, not the opposite. Did her libation cause all that, or was it something more ominous?
Her question was answered when she found Agent Tara dead on the floor, surrounded by a pool of blood.
A thing stood over her body, bits of gore dripping from its jaws. Doing the ovious thing, Agent Lyta ran. She got out a potion that was made of Tv.Tropes pages mixed with Bleepka, and drank it. She was told that it brought her extra luck and increased her speed to high levels. Actually, it was only a placebo, although she had no way to tell at that point.
She ran and ran, knowing that her pursuer was close. She used her RA to portal to world after world, closing them as she went. That was how she finally arrived in nWOD's Arcadia. Knowing what would happen to her if she stayed, she fiddled with her RA, pouring another libation to the Ironic Overpower as she did so. Thankfully, that was enough to create another portal, which she hopped into without hesitation.
She found herself in a grey chamber. Thinking that she was back in HQ, she then sat down on the surprisingly soft floor. There was a TV and Popcorn, and a remote with only one button. Despite suspicions about all three objects (especially the remote) she began making herself comfortable. Then, another portal opened up, and a figure clothed in an inspector's longcoat emerged from it.
"What are you doing Here?"
"I'm sorry! I tought it was HQ and-"
Then Lyta remembered that the only ones who had that kind of portal technology other than the PPC were its enemies.
She got up and going into what approximated a fighting stance, she faced the stranger.
"Do not worry. I am not the one that killed your partner, but rather his enemy."
"How do you know about that?"
"Let's just say that I know many things, and have ways to know more. I was part of your organization once, and I never formally left."
This guy was a part of the PPC? Agent Lyta's stance softened.
"What do you mean, formally?"
"I am still regarded as part of it by the Flowers, at least those of them that still remember me. I was sent here on a mission, and while I have disregarded it, I still plan to complete it someday, although I don't think I can get the chance now."
"What do you mean?"
"Press the remote, and observe why."
Observe? What a fine choice of words...
She decided to take a chance, and pressed it.
Disclaimer: Anything that can be said to belong to another author, belongs to another author.
Chapter Five: Enemies meet.
The NMG Headquarters was a gigantic skyscraper that hovered above the clouds of Mount Olympus. The Greek Gods, forced to submit to the great power held by the new lords of the Multiverse, wept on its floor, wailing their hearts out. They were soon joined by the Egyptian, Mesopotamian, and Norse ones, whose halls were not safe from the avarice of their new masters.
On its top level, the ones that brought them down so low refused to pay attention to a sucsses that had already grown stale. They conversed in hurried whispers, pondering on how to make full use of their victories.
Their leader, a balding man wearing corporate clothes, read one of the reports and said:
"Ahh. So Jayacacia has managed to get her husband back."
"Yes. They are now enjoying themselves in the My Immortal verse." Said one of the NMG excecutives seated just to the left of him.
"Ahh...My Immortal. Ebony's usefulness is ending, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is. Maybe its time to restore the Harry Potter Canon to a more...faithful state."
"True. Canon Defilement is profiting us less and less..."
"By the way, I'm pleased to mention that our Code Geass sues have managed to get Lelouch vi Britannia to Geass himself into serving us. That way, we don't have to lower his intelligence by 90% in order to make him our lackey."
"Good. Have him Geass Light Yagami and David Xanatos as well. That way, we can stop turning their brains to putty on a regular basis."
"Now, are the modifications to the Necron Technology ready?"
"Yes. With these improved pylons, we can cut off universes from fanfic influence at will. We can also select specific fanfics to allow into the Word Worlds if nescessary, as long as they have a situation that profits us."
"Good. Now, how about the Sunflower Emperor?"
"Dead. We used our influence over Legal to alter narrative law so he doesn't come back."
"Very Good. Now the EPC will destroy itself, and we will have other Multiverses as our oyster, once we have finished with this one. Now, how about the Hornbeam?"
"Now, how about the Hornbeam?"
"He has taken over a large percentage of the PPC HQ. He has also began to instrumentalize several universes, making quarantine measures harder to implement."
"Send several Chaos Space Marines to those universes. We must nip this threat in the bud. What about the other threat, Inquisitor Tawaki?"
"He has finished torturing innocent OFUer's. Not infilitrating the Offical Fanfiction University of Alagesiä
was a masterstroke. Now, all of our possible opponents are worse than us, making us the lesser of three evils."
"Good. Now, send some World Devestators to Alagesiä itself, that way, we can get extra war material while pleasing the fans."
"So we're going to publish our activities on the Real World, then?"
"Yes. We are. Once we undo the Digimon 02 ending, Nia's death in Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, and the entire Legacy of the Force series, we'll recive their adulation, making us invincible."
"Good, Good. How goes the Haruhi Suzumiya capture plan?"
"We shoudn't reveal any more details about that, just in case."
"Very well."
===
The Embodiment of all Flames gazed at the war going across the Multiverse, and laughed. Now that the PPC had been destroyed, and all the organizations that should be guarding fanfiction were squabbling over the spoils, he can feed the fires of Fan Dumb himself, gaining him more power.
Just a small suggestion to his pawns on the Pit of Voles, and all the PPC's reports in the Real World will be transferred to Fanfiction.net. The resulting flamewars that would result won't alert the Multiversal combatants, but they ought to give him enough strength to weaken the locks to his prison.
Then, he would start shipping threads everywhere, for all possible pairings in fiction, especially the hated ones. After that, he will create a fic so bad,all Fanfic would be banned, causing more flamewars and ending the Multiversal Organization's support networks.
Then, he would set himself free, and consume all creation in a blaze of unrelenting fury.
===
"He's an embodiment of all the Internet's flames? If so, i'd expect him to be more terrifiying."
"And he isn't?"
"Well, he is; but not as much as i'd expect. Compared to what i'd read up on in the Warhammer 40k and World of Darkness-old and new-Wikis, he's just second-rate."
"Ahh."
"Also, I think this apocalypse is losing steam. The NMG wish to preserve the Multiverse after taking it over, the Hornbeam's hive mind isn't spreading fast enough, and Inquisitor Tawaki is just insane. Also, the latter two don't really have any depth at all, along with the Embodiment of all Flames."
"Isn't that for the best? I mean, the narrative law saying villains without any depth must die hasn't been altered yet, to my knowledge."
"True, but still; if this is the Apocalypse-"
"Time of Judgement, actually."
"Fine, Time of Judgement, then. Now, as I was saying, if this is the Time of Judgement, it should at least be spectacular. I mean, if the Multiverse is going to die, it should at least be with a side of awesome."
"Agreed."
"Thank you, Makes-Things."
Author's Note: If you want to make the end of the PPC spectacular, how would you do it? Tell me, so that Agent Lyta doesn't cry! Do you want her to cry?
Disclaimer: Anthing that can be attributed to another author, belongs to another author.
Chapter six: Apocalypse.
Suddenly, Rocks fell on everyone in the Multiverse. They died.
===
Lyta and Makes-Things' eyes went wide at what they saw on the TV screen.
"That just didn't happen. Tell me that that just didn't happen."
"So...abrupt."
"Maybe it'll turn out to be a big prank."
"Maybe."
===
THE END
[[OOC: Out of Ideas.]]
Disclaimer: Anything that can be attributed to another author/authoress, belongs to another author/authoress.
Bonus Chapter: Jayacacaia's last stand.
Author's Note: Miss JayBird, i'm sorry for what i'm going to do for your character. Just remember that the NMG are the bad guys, and that I don't sympathise with them and I don't expect anyone else to.
"Stand down, Thornbyrd."
"Never, Psycho!Thundera! Ebony is my friend, in more ways than one!"
"So you would defy the will of the NMG, which has stated that restoring the Harry Potter canon is the most beneficial move for it? You poor fool..."
"I'm not a fool! I'm the SO's wife!" Jayacacia then summoned her husband, who had replaced Dumbledore as the headmaster of Goffik!Hogwarts. He was wearing black robes made of leather and his petals were dyed red while his head had white foundation on it. His staff now had a pentagram (bcause D&d is Stanic, u see, & hi sstaff cum from d&D) and-
Author's Note: There is not enough memory in my computer for the rest of the description.
"Hahahahaha! He's your only support? Now see mine." With a wave of her hand, she summoned an army of Greater Daemons from the ruins of OFUM, and unleashed them upon the two. At the same time, great wings burst from her back, and she began flying over the two.
Jayacacia, who was wearing a bikini made of temperate and tropical leaves (to signify that she represented all of the world's forests, rather than a single continent's) drew her whip, Rosebud, and used it to banish a Great Unclean One back into the ruins of OFUM. At the same time, the Sunflower Official unleashed a Prismatic Spray upon a Bloodthirster, turning it to stone. They then took on an Lord of Change, and won. Then, a Keeper of Secrets slashed at Jayacacia with his pincer, wounding her. The SO, in a rage, used a powerful Lightning Bolt at it, to no avail. Just when it seemed that the Daemon will consume the two, however, reinforcements finally arrived.
"U wil no tch Jayacacia or my nam isn't Ebony Dementia Dark'ness Raven Way! Avda Kedabra!" A beam of green light the struck the Keeper of Secrets in the chest, killing it.
A beautiful figure dressed in-
Author's Note: The computer doesn't have enough memory, again.
-rushed over to the wounded Jayacacia, and said:
"NO! Jayacacia y wer mi bff! Don't wory, Daeko and Vampire will be here soon!"
Ebony then lifted up her middle finger at the remaining Daemons, and conjured up a gun. She then-
-got herself split in two as Psycho!Thundera threw a giant shuriken at her.
"Ebony! No!"said Jayacacia at the death of her friend. She then healed herself and grew her own wings (eagle, in order to emphasize her connection to nature) and flew.
Psycho!Thundera waved her sword, but the pink wires that came out from it were easily evaded by Jayacacia, who stuck back using her whip. She then unleashed a storm of razor-sharp leaves upon her enemy, causing her pain.
"You will pay for that, bitch!"
Psycho!Thundera then sheathed herself in a column of light, which began to emit beams of searing energy. Jayacacia was struck by several of them, and screamed.
"AHHHHH!"
"No! Jayacaciaaa!" The SO then flew up and unleashed a Disintigrate. It hit the column of light, but was deflected to the ground. Psycho!Thundera then emerged from the column, stronger than ever. She then unleashed a storm of fire upon the Flower, which she then followed up with frost. Before the SO can regain the initiative, she then conjured up more giant shurikens and threw them at the Flower.
Just before they came into contact with his flesh, Jayacacia then recovered, and parried them all with her whip. She then closed in to engage Psycho!Thundera in melee.
The duel continued for several hours, with both combatants showing unusual skill. Finally, however, Psycho!Thundera cut apart Rosebud, and prepared a fatal strike. Jayacacia then turned her body into crystal, absorbing the sword into her body. She and Psycho!Thundera then began to show off their skill in unarmed combat, using every martial arts skill in the Multiverse in an attempt to gain an edge upon each other.
Finally, Jayacacia seemed to gain the advantage, as her crystalline body proved immune to the enemy's blows. But Psycho!Thundera just cheated, and conjured up a chainsaw immune to absorption by Jayacacia's body. She then rained blows down on her opponent, drinking her screams like the purest whiskey. The SO tried to interfere, but was set upon by several Daemonettes.
Draco and Harry then arrived at this point, but instantly reverted to their canon selves at the sight of Ebony's dead body. NMG Grey Knights then teleported in and carried them off before the Daemons caught sight of them. Finally, Jayacacia lost all hope, and tumbled into the whirling mass below. After several minutes, they were banished back to the ruins of OFUM, leaving only an indiscribable mass of shattered crystals.
Psycho!Thundera then laughed. Despite the fact that canon had to be preserved to accomplish it, the Harry Potter canon was now NMG territory. Forever.
===
"Give me five cents, Makes-Things. You lost the bet."
"Fine" said the irritated scientist as he went through his pockets.
Author's Note: As I said, i'm very sorry for having to do this to JayBird's character. As an apology, I am now lending Psycho!Thundera and the Daemons to her to punish as she sees fit. Love, BW.
Chapter one: A School Falls.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, I just looked at its wiki. I don't own D&D either, I just read Order of the Stick
OFUM was doing nicely, Miss Cam tought as she walked its corridors smiling. The students were learning at a fast pace,if only to avoid the more painful exercises. That was copuled with good weather conditions, better and better food (the measures that were taken to keep Gandalf from the kitchen were geting more effective as time passed)and a general sense of well-being that prevaded the premises.
It was all due to the method of pouring libations to the Ironic Overpower that had been spreading lately. Normally, she would have rejected it as a dangerous superstition, albeit one that had spread through the Canon Protection Initiative like wildfire. Wildfire caused by political flames from the 08' elections, no less. However, not only had it come from her friend, Miss Brin, but it also appeared to work. There was a large Vambiolaria outbreak at that time, but after a few days of offerings, large amounts of the cure were found and sucssesfully disturbed to the populace.
So several members of her staff tried it, and large numbers of the student body joined too. Eventually, she found herself doing the ritual several times a day. She threw her head back, letting her long hair flow out.
She looked at the Garden and saw the Canons and the students cooperating to pour more libations to appease the Ironic Overpower. They were singing in Queyna while doing so, the students having taken pleasure in learning the language. Many who have finished the ritual were laughing while they ate fruit from the orchards of southern Gondor and the Shire. They looked really happy, especially the ones pouring the libations. Miss Cam was debating on whether to join them, when the Canons and Students took off their clothes and began an orgy.
Man and Woman, Man and Man, Woman on Woman, Girl on Boy, Boy on Boy, Girl on Girl, and Man on Boy, Woman on Boy, Man on Girl and Woman on...oh, you get the drift! They were doing it like they were in My Immortal, as well. As Miss Cam decided to charge towards them in order to stop the depravity, Thundera Tiger appeared before her, her eyes filled with glitter and holding a sueish looking sword. Miss Cam put two and two together.
"I see. It's ovious now. The Libations were just a gambit by what centralized authority the Sues have put together in order to undermine us. And it worked."
"Hahahahaha! The Sues? This plan encompasses more than them alone. This is a wide-ranging conspiracy that encompasses all badfic, as well as people who, though not Sues themselves-some of them are actually Goofic writers who just want power that only Canon Defilement can give-, have joined together to take down the CPI and replace it with a regime that will rule over the Multiverse with an Admantium fist."
Thundera Tiger then waved her sword and several pink wires sprang out of it and tied up Miss Cam.
"Snap out of it! You're not a Sue, Thundera!"
"But I am now. And no, there is no way you can snap me out, not at this point in the story!"
"Now look at the garden, and see the fall of OFUM!"
Miss Cam did as was told, and saw a slight shimmer in the air above the orgy. As she looked, the shimmer grew in size, becoming more ovious by the second. Then, a tear in space emerged at the center of the shimmer, which resembled deciptions of the Eye of Terror that Students versed in Warhammer 40k lore had shown her.
Then, Various Daemons (full-size, no less!) charged out of the rip and began tearing apart, infecting, mutating, and violating the orgy's participants. Not in that order, either. Miss Cam was almost driven insane at the sight. Then, the Daemons finshed with their prey and looked at her.
She tried to crawl away, but her traitorous former friend stepped on Miss Cam's neck, restraining her. She laughed.
"Hahahahaha! Do you think i'll just let you escape!? No, you're going to suffer what your staff and students did, and more!" As she spoke, a daemoinaclly possesed Gimli (who was wearing a coat made from Lina's skin) walked towards her and begin to feel her up.
"Farewell, Miss Cam!" Thundera teleported out just as waves of pleasure and pain coursed through Miss Cam's body.
Author's Note: First Chapter finished! Give me good reviews (that's plural) before I post the Next one!
[[OOC: Yes, 'Burning Watier' has aquired some standards regarding spelling.]]
Chapter Two: A Mage Revealed
Disclaimer: I don't own D&D, I just read the Forgotten Realms wiki and Order of the Stick, which I don't own either. I do own the NMG,as well as the small computer-like device that Thundera Tiger uses later in the chapter. Oh, and the Anti-Spiral king and his voice belongs to Gainax, not me.
The Big Thorn was pissed. The Elder evil and Spirit trees were figthing their proxy war again, and this time, more of their Agents have joined in the melee, fighting with axes. He was very pissed off by that development, and had gone to the scuffle intending to yell telepathically as hard as he could at them. Then, he saw that the axes were rainbow-colored and looked to be glittering.
Then, the Elder Evil and Spirit trees jumped out from behind him and grappled the surprised Flower to the ground.
What's the meaning of this?
Haven't you guessd yet? I mean, you oviously caught a glimpse of the rainbow glittering axes, didn't you?"
And of course, there's the wooden acting that some of the participants were engaged in. Can't belive you didn't notice that.
Let me go this instant, and I promise you, i'll let you keep your jobs!
But we have new jobs now, high-level ones in the New Multiverse Government, the authority that has replaced the Canon Protection Initiative as the paramount power in the Multiverse
We're paramount?
The Leauge of Mary Sue Factories didn't proclaim itself its rulers when it was absorbed by the NMG, so that assumption seemed a safe bet the Elder Evil Tree said.
You absorbed the LMSF?
It was pretty easy. All we had to do was clone the Lust Objects that the Sues, Fangirls, and Fanboys wanted. Bet you never tought of that, didn't you?
But the Flowers there, how did you-
The NMG gave new, submissive, but still comparatively well-rounded personalities to those who refused to assent to their rule.
That's what he did to you, isn't it?
Yes, it is. While we were monolouging, one of their operatives has teleported in and has now extracted your mental data, and is now altering it to fit the NMG's agenda.
The Big Thorn strained to look behind him, and saw Thundera Tiger, who was holding what looked like a small laptop connected to a mechanical spider with very sharp legs.
"Don't worry, Flower, this won't hurt...much."
The screams began shortly after.
-------------------------------------
The Sunflower official was just finishing his paperwork and was thinking of going over his announcement banning the offering of libations to the Ironic Overpower when three axemen from what was formerly DAVD teleported inside his office and surrounded him, bloodlust in their eyes.
So, the NMG have made their move, haven't they?
"How do you know about the NMG?"said the psychotic former Agents in a voice that was reminiscent of the Anti-Spiral king's japanese voice.
Better intelligence. The Sub Rosa now keeps track of every potential threat to the CPI. You were the most powerful, as well as the most ambitious. You only cared about ruling the Multiverse, and defiling canon-as well as protecting it, was just a means to an end.
"Xanatos! Tzeentech! Lelouch! We tought we had killed all your operatives!"
You did. But you heard of the D&D spell, "Speak with Dead?"
"You had acsess to that? So our leaders were right, letting you retrive the bodies would have resulted in a more amusing, though harder, game."
Yes, It would have. By the way, have you heard of the D&D spell, Chain Lightning?
As he said that, a lightning bolt came out from his index finger which killed one of the axemen, moved on to shock the second one, and still had enough strength to electrocute the third.
He then lifted up his hands, and his clothing changed into Wizard's robes. He opened a portal to hammerspace using an RA on his desk, and retrived the custom wizard's staff he had been storing there since he had heard of the NMG.
He then cast stoneskin on himself and went out of his office. Sure enough, there were several axemen waiting for him. The NMG minions charged, but the SO had initiative on his side and he managed to burn them to a crisp with a fireball before the first one reached him.
If only we brought the Big Thorn and his subordinate Flowers into our self-defense conspiracy earlier...
[[OOC: I need to sleep for a while. This is only half of the Chapter, so if you are willing, please don't post it on the Fanfic Land website before I post the second part.]]
If only we had brought the Big Thorn and his subordinate Flowers into our self-defense conspiracy earlier...
But no. Now is not the time for regrets.
The Sunflower Official continued on, using Cone of Cold and another Chain Lightning to destroy another group of assailants. Sneaking into the Order of the Stick universe and taking class levels in Wizard along with the other Flowers in his conspiracy did prove useful, after all. While he hadn't been fond of the idea despite being the one who tought of it, it had saved his life in this instance, and he knew it.
He felt braver now. He advanced towards the cafeteria, noting that focusing on where he was going helped instead of hindered.
So, it is the Time of Judgement, after all.
He found the Big Thorn and the Trees waiting for him with Rainbow Glittering axes. They rushed towards him, but he had the initiative again and used Blink, and then he launched a Disintigrate at the Elder Evil Tree's back, turning it to ashes.
The Spirit Tree and the Big Thorn stared at the SO with looks of surprise and fear on their faces.
The SO launched another Disintegrate at the Spirit Tree and a Fireball at the Big Thorn. Both of those attacks hit their marks, ending the misery of his opponents. After making a few brief condolences, he then used his RA to open a portal to the Starbucks' on the outside.
There, the other members of the self-defense conspiracy were waiting.
First was the Sub Rosa, now a high-level psion. She was the first one that suggested that they protect themselves by gaining character levels in D&D classes, perferably those able to cast spells.
Second was the Tiger Lily, now a Sorcerer/Archmage with seven Soul Splices (granted, the only powers capable of giving it to her can only do it once a century, but time travel can remedy that quite nicely). Granted, they were considerably less powerful than the ones given to the Canon Character Vaarsuvius, but the ones that weren't of specialized prestige classes were easy to learn about and use, and had several tricks that could prove useful in an apocalypse.
Third was Hornbeam, now a Druid.
Fourth was the Marquis de Sod, now a Bard.
Fifth was the good Captain Dandy, now a paladin of causes (Canon being the cause, if you can't tell).
These made up the Secret-Self-Defence-Circle,the secret conspiracy formed to prepare for the coming destruction.
Author's Note: I'm not updating this story until I get 5 good reviews.
Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, D&D the PPC, the Old or New World of Darkness, Instrumentality, or Jayacacia ThornByrd.
Chapter Three: A Hope Crushed.
HQ was in trouble.
Swarms of Daemons poured out from the now-corrupted ruins of OFUM, while huge numbers of PPC Agents, who were present at the time of the first libations in HFA, suddenly turned into Sues and Stus. At the same time, armies of pink-clad fangirls portaled into DoDAEG and began to "do it" with the corpses stored there, cutting off the power all over HQ, and the food in the Cafeteria came to life and turned into a surging mass of horrible monstrosites, who ate everyone in their path. Seconds later, the staff of DoSAT were suddenly found dead, stuffed into a fridge. Even the males.
The Tomb of the Unknown PPC Agent glowed red as a sign of doom, and countless Specters (from oWOD) rose up from the floor below. They were followed by several Abbysal Beings (from nWOD) who began their horrible work on HQ's denizens. There was no place safe, as even Medical was being ravaged by Mindflayers.
A full Company of Chaos Space Marines were sent to DIO, since they were one of the few beings who could have withstood the mix of Urple, Wilver, and Bello that guarded it's headquarters. They made 'pickled peppers' jokes at Agent Peter Piper and weren't punished for it, another sign that this was the Time of Judgement. Legal was under siege. The laws diminishing a monolouging villain's chance of winning had already been altered so that a villain who felt the urge to brag about his, her or it's evil plan can do so without any danger.
The Secret-Self-Defence-Circle (SSDC) were watching all this from a hidden command center situated on the second floor in the Starbucks' outside of HQ.
[[OOC: Need to sleep. Please wait for the extended edition, if you wish. It's your call.]]
The Secret-Self-Defence-Circle (SSDC) was watching all this from a hidden command center situated on the second floor in the Starbucks' outside of HQ.
HQ is falling said the Sub Rosa, who was sipping an Ice Mocha Latte.
There is still hope said the SO. Captain Dandy and the Tiger lily have been sent to Legal with all the Weeds we can spare, and several Agents have been safely evacuated to the New Caledonia haven.
The Canon Nursery is safe as well. The NMG hasn't targeted children yet, and don't plan to even if they take over Legal.
Really? Thank you, Marquis. Hornbeam, what do you plan to do about the destruction of your department?
Avenge them. Techno-Daan and Tess were competent staff members, and without them, I don't think DoSAT will be a viable Department of the PPC. Do I have permission to ressurect them?
Yes. Here are two scrolls of True Ressurection Captain Dandy picked up in the OOTS universe.said the SO.
Have one Architeuthis picked up, as well. You need to ressurect Makes-Things, you know said the Sub Rosa.
Ah. But Makes-Things isn't really dead, you know.
What, he isn't?
No. He isn't. You see, I brainwashed him around the time of the Mary Sue invasion, so that he can work on fulfilling my true agenda since the destruction of Origin: INSTRUMENTALITY!
Suddenly, the Hornbeam's old form exploded as a grotesque monstrosity of wood and metal burst out from it.
Acting quickly, the Sunflower official attempted a Time Stop, but the Hornbeam blasted him with a powerful Firestorm. Thankfully, the Flower had used an extra powerful buff to protect himself against fire.
The Marquis began to play a powerful Bardsong, but was stopped by several wires that burst from the deranged Hornbeam. The Sub Rosa tried to free him with a psionic strike against the wires, but was in turn entangled in them.
Why? asked the SO.
Why, would you ask why? Ever since you became the leader of the Organization, you have only settled for stanching the wounds in Canon, the symptoms of the Multiverse's disease. What's more, you have not excised the natural features of Canon that attract such filth, but also insist on protecting them!
And what do you expect me to do? Be like the Mysterious Somebody?
At least he tried to create a soltution to the Multiverse's problems! He tried to bring unity! UNITY!
You've gone insane.
Insane, am I? Perhaps. Perhaps... But let's see as the inhabitants are brought into my utopia, through my...HIVE MIND!
Suddenly, the wires that bound the Sub Rosa and the Marquis thrust into their brains, rendering their bodies limp.
Now, I have enough power to beat you even at your level... Prepare to-
Epic Teleport!
The SO disappeared.
=====
Psycho!Thundera had finally managed to kill the Tiger Lily, after a huge battle in which the reinforcements she was bringing, 600 Sues and 1,600 fangirls, were decimated by one-third. Now, she faced Captain Dandy, her sword glittering as the sap of the recently desceased Flower turned into Sue Blood.
"You loved her, didn't you? You loved her and didn't know it until her unfortunate demise. Well, that only makes it more pleasurable!"
You second Ontic... PREPARE TO DIE! The Paladin lifted up his katana and said: 100% Smite Evil!
Psycho!Thundera laughed at him, and dodged. The katana cleft into the ground, opening a huge rift. The depraved Sue then smirked, and said: "That is not how you do holy powers, Weed!"
Angel wings then burst from her back, accentuating her leather jacket and pants nicely. She then lifted up her sword and a beam of holy light then came down from the sky and consumed the Captain whole. When it abated, the Flower was still alive, though horribly singed and clearly in pain.
He tried healing himself, but he was engulfed by a storm of Urple flames that Psycho!Thundera had summoned from her sword. Now almost dead, he got up one last time and said: Die! as he made one last thrust.
Psycho!Thundera dodged. "Tsk...Tsk...Pathetic".
She then slit her wrist with her sword, and glittery blood dripped down to the Tiger Lily's corpse. As the Captain watched, the person he cherished most came back to life...as a Sue.
Hello, Captain. Why don't you and I 'pollinate' to Avril Lavinge? Not that you have a choice...
Then the now-suefied Tiger Lily removed his sword, armour, and clothes.
No! Please-
What came later was...graphic.
Psycho!Thundera laughed loudly, and summoned her motorbike, Volxemort (not to be confused with Voldemort).
She then sped to where the remaining Weeds were evacuating Legal's remaining personnel.
"You're not getting away that easily, boys and girls..."
The sounds of the slaughter and subjugation lasted for several hours.
=====
This cannot be happening... This cannot be happening...
The Sunflower Ofcicial kept saying that to himself as he ran through the halls of HQ, burning up several high-level spells in just the first thirty minutes. While he had killed most of HQ's assailants, any Agents he came into contact with were suddenly brainwashed by Hornbeam, who gave them a large enough percentage of his power to hold their own against him. He was also distraught, almost broken in fact, by the betrayal of his fellow Firstborn and close friend.
No...just...No. Please...let this all be a cruel trick...
He kept running and running, hoping that Luxury, who wasn't evil at heart, or Maeluwien, a Parody!Sue were still alive and would give him shelter, as he was that desperate. Unfortuanately, the NMG got to them first, killing them and stuffing them into fridges along with several males.
He then sat down on the hard floor of HQ, and began to cry.
"Don't do that, husband..."
The Sunflower shuddered. There was only one being who had ever dared to call him that: Jayacacia Thornbyrd.
She wore a bikini made out of Silk engraved with Tengwar on the top half, and Cirith on the bottom. They both read: X with me and some other stuff. She wore a crown made of Rubies, Orange Topaz, Yellow Tourmaline, Green Emeralds, Blue Sapphires, Indigo Tourmaline, and Violet Amethyst.
She looked like a blazing rainbow (there were diamonds in her crown as well) and she also had a Jade comb in her very long hair which-(AN: My computer does not have enough memory for the rest of my description. Sorry!)
The Sunflower Official, his brain tired out, said: 100% Disjunction!, and a beam of light came out of his finger and destroyed Jayacacia's clothes, crown, and comb. Despite the fact that as a construct, Jayacacia should have been destroyed as well, her body stayed intact.
The Sunflower had no will left to resist her buxom charms, and ripped off his clothes and thrust his hardness, which had come out of nowhere, into her.
And so the end of the PPC drew even closer.
Author's Note: I didn't get the five good reviews I asked for, but I still want them!
[[OOC: *Drinks Bleeperin*]]
Its' really good and epic and stuff! Umm Im' not sure what you meant about Jaycacia being a consuct or why she had those clothes on but its really cool to see her in yor great sotry!
Your story is very good too. JayAcacia is one of the best characters ever!
Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, the PPC, or anything in this chapter that can be attributed to another person. that is all.
Chapter four: An Inquisitor rises.
Agent Tawaki Penguin had been informed of the events in HQ by the Queen Anne's Lace and the Gladiolus; who claimed to have been part of the SO's Secret-Self-Defence-Circle at least until the beginning of the siege of Legal, when they were magically retconned out of it by one of its personnel, who told them to warn the town in New Caledonia of the assault. Seconds later, an army of Ypurs commanded by the Hornbeam's hive mind came through a dozen portals. At the same time, advance elements of the NMG's armies began to arrive, setting up fortifications around one of the cliffs.
They had tried to form a defensive cordon for a while, but the enemy forces proved too strong, particularly when they were joined by several battalions of Tesla and Apocalypse tanks (from Red Alert 2). Now, the desperate Agent fought beside his wife, Takdeeta in order to save what he can of the CPI's hope.
A signal had already been sent out to the PPC TARDISes to return here instead of HQ. At the same time, OFUer's began to arrive in the town, telling lurid tales of what had happened to their schools. Those who were fit enough to fight and wanted to were sent to the front, being given what weapons were available at the time, including Molotov Cocktails.
However, even their desperate attacks proved futile, and Tawaki and Takdeeta kissed each other in preperation for the end.
Then, the last true hope arrived.
The Mirror Multiverse Black Cats portaled in from their secret base, bringing several Daleks. They destroyed the enemy forces in short order, swooping in to reinforce the lines.
"Honeshah! Mkellin!"
"Tawaki!"
The now-relived Agent rushed out to hug his friends.
"Hey! easy there. You might break my shoulder blades!"
"Sorry, Kell."
"Now, tell me: What is your situation? We heard about the fall of your HQ from our buggers at the Sunflower Emperor-"
"Your Sunflower Emperor knows about this?!"
"Yes, he does. The NMG made contact with him several months ago, and they staged a surprise attack on our headquarters.
Then, they began watching for any attempt to cross the barrier between Multiverses. They only pulled out their sensor web when they began the assault on your HQ. Sorry."
"Its not your fault. What's the status of HQ?"
"Large parts of it are controlled by your Hornbeam and his Hive Mind. He appears to be independent from the NMG or the EPC, and is in fact actively figthing them."
"We sort of guessed that when the Ypurs attacked the NMG troops instead of helping them. Thanks, though."
"No problem."
[[OOC: This is only one part. please, wait!]]
[[OOC: Just wait]]
"No problem"
"Now, why don't you stay here for a while? We can regroup, consolidate our forces-"
YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED!
A crystal Star Destroyer suddenly appeared in the sky, accompanied by crystal Nebulon-B Frigates.
I, THE SUNFLOWER EMPEROR, WILL NOT ALLOW YOU!
Multicolored beams of death rained down from the sky.
===
Several hours later, Agent Tawaki was mourning the losses of the battle against the EPC. Honeshah and Mkellin had sacrificed themselves to take out the Star Destroyer, while Nendil and Twp took on the Sunflower Emperor and killed him.
Now all of the Mirror Multiverse Cats are dead, along with hundreds of Agents and OFUer's. He and Takdeeta had been forced to regenerate thrice, just before the battle ended.
Now, he and the survivors were at the newly founded Official Fanfiction Academy of Warhammer 40k (AN: Which I created just now). It didn't have any students and staff yet, but they had huge amounts of war material, which he and Takdeeta planned to use (He had an Inquisitor's gear, and Takdeeta was dressed in the armour of a Cannoness).
The OFUer's who had escaped to the New Caledonia town informed him that the Offical Fanfiction University of Alagesiä was the one that betrayed them, and Tawaki planned to take revenge. He had sent Agent Dustin into the fanfic 'Agony in Pink' in order to get the Z-staff and the monster, Tortura, and was going to-
===
Agent Lyta Holling shut off the TV.
"What did you do that for?!" said the stranger.
"That was the most OOC programming I ever watched! I can belive that the libations to the Ironic Overpower were just a gambit to weaken us, that the SO and the other Flowers had the prescence of mind to get levels in D&D classes, and that Psycho!Thundera looks badass! But Agent Tawaki becoming an Inquisitor who tortures people in ways that would give Medival Tortuers nightmares? That is where my Willing Suspension of Disbelief ends!"
"But it's live!"
"I don't care! We skip over the Tawaki torturing and killing people part, okay?"
"Fine."
"Oh, and while you're at it, why don't you tell me who you are, so I could stop doubting."
"Very Well." The Stranger then took off his hat and scarf, revealing the face of an Asian man in his prime.
It was the face of Makes-Things.
"You're alive! Wait a minute, aren't you supposed to be working on the Hornbeam's Instrumentality thing?"
"Yes, yes I was. I also had a secret mission from the Queen Anne's Lace, which I wasn't able to do anymore once he and the Gladiolus were retconned out of the conspiracy."
"I see. What was the mission, exactly?"
"To create an ark that would withstand the fractures in reality caused by the Time of Judgement. You see, back on Origin, there was a prophecy that predicted the End of the Multiverse as we know it."
"And you think the Time of Judgement is this?"
"Yes. After all, HQ has fallen..."
Agent Lyta bowed her head.
"So, is this room part of the ark, then?"
"Yes. There's also a replicator, some toilets, and am ornamental garden. That was all I could accomplish before the Fall."
"Ahh. Is there any way to get out?"
"No. I'd invent one, but only after the time of Judgement has passed."
"I see. Wait-does that mean that we're going to have to repopulate the Multiverse, then?"
"Do you want to?"
"Of course not!"
"Then don't worry. There should be at least some sane people left after the end. If we can rescue them before they die, we may have enough of a starting population."
"Good. Now, has Inquisitor Tawaki finshed torturing innocent OFUer's?"
"By my calculations, yes."
They pressed the remote again.
Author's Note: Thank you JayBird!
Chapter one: A School Falls, and a mage is revealed
Disclaimer: I don't own Warhammer 40k, I just looked at its wiki. I don't own D&D either, I just read Order of the Stick
OFUM was doing nicely, Miss Cam tought as she walked its corridors smiling. The students were learning at a fast pace,if only to avoid the more painful exercises. That was copuled with good weather conditions, better and better food (the measures that were taken to keep Gandalf from the kitchen were geting more effective as time passed)and a general sense of well-being that prevaded the premises.
It was all due to the method of pouring libations to the Ironic Overpower that had been spreading lately. Normally, she would have rejected it as a dangerous superstition, albeit one that had spread through the Canon Protection Initiative like wildfire. Wildfire caused by political flames from the 08' elections, no less. However, not only had it come from her friend, Miss Brin, but it also appeared to work. There was a large Vambiolaria outbreak at that time, but after a few days of offerings, large amounts of the cure were found and sucssesfully disturbed to the populace.
So several members of her staff tried it, and large numbers of the student body joined too. Eventually, she found herself doing the ritual several times a day. She threw her head back, letting her long hair flow out.
She looked at the Garden and saw the Canons and the students cooperating to pour more libations to appease the Ironic Overpower. They were singing in Queyna while doing so, the students having taken pleasure in learning the language. Many who have finished the ritual were laughing while they ate fruit from the orchards of southern Gondor and the Shire. They looked really happy, especially the ones pouring the libations. Miss Cam was debating on whether to join them, when the Canons and Students took off their clothes and began an orgy.
Man and Woman, Man and Man, Woman on Woman, Girl on Boy, Boy on Boy, Girl on Girl, and Man on Boy, Woman on Boy, Man on Girl and Woman on...oh, you get the drift! They were doing it like they were in My Immortal, as well. As Miss Cam decided to charge towards them in order to stop the depravity, Thundera Tiger appeared before her, her eyes filled with glitter and holding a sueish looking sword. Miss Cam put two and two together.
"I see. It's ovious now. The Libations were just a gambit by what centralized authority the Sues have put together in order to undermine us. And it worked."
"Hahahahaha! The Sues? This plan encompasses more than them alone. This is a wide-ranging conspiracy that encompasses all badfic, as well as people who, though not Sues themselves-some of them are actually Goofic writers who just want power that only Canon Defilement can give-, have joined together to take down the CPI and replace it with a regime that will rule over the Multiverse with an Admantium fist."
Thundera Tiger then waved her sword and several pink wires sprang out of it and tied up Miss Cam.
"Snap out of it! You're not a Sue, Thundera!"
"But I am now. And no, there is no way you can snap me out, not at this point in the story!"
"Now look at the garden, and see the fall of OFUM!"
Miss Cam did as was told, and saw a slight shimmer in the air above the orgy. As she looked, the shimmer grew in size, becoming more ovious by the second. Then, a tear in space emerged at the center of the shimmer, which resembled deciptions of the Eye of Terror that Students versed in Warhammer 40k lore had shown her.
Then, Various Daemons (full-size, no less!) charged out of the rip and began tearing apart, infecting, mutating, and violating the orgy's participants. Not in that order, either. Miss Cam was almost driven insane at the sight. Then, the Daemons finshed with their prey and looked at her.
She tried to crawl away, but her traitorous former friend stepped on Miss Cam's neck, restraining her. She laughed.
"Hahahahaha! Do you think i'll just let you escape!? No, you're going to suffer what your staff and students did, and more!" As she spoke, a daemoinaclly possesed Gimli (who was wearing a coat made from Lina's skin) walked towards her and begin to feel her up.
"Farewell, Miss Cam!" Thundera teleported out just as waves of pleasure and pain coursed through Miss Cam's body.
Author's Note: First Chapter finished! Give me good reviews (that's plural) before I post the Next one!
[[OOC: Yes, 'Burning Watier' has aquired some standards regarding spelling.]]
Disclaimer: I have not played the World of Darkness games, just read the wiki about them. I also do not own the PPC, although I wish I did. I do own Lyta and Tara-Something.
PPC: Time of Judgement
Prolouge:Omens
Agent Lyta Holling walked the corridors of HQ, humming to herself. She had just become an Agent, and was eager to meet her new partner, Agent Tara-Something. She knew that like all other Agents, she was slightly insane. But hopefully, that won't pose an obstacle to her overtures of friendship. She slowed her pace in order not to bump into anyone, and in a quiet spot, she offered a libation to the Ironic Overpower in order to make sure that everything went smoothly.
She then continued on her way, and reached Agent Tara's RC. Then, it hit her: She had been keping track of where she was going, something that in the PPC, was supposed to get her lost, not the opposite. Did her libation cause all that, or was it something more ominous?
Her question was answered when she found Agent Tara dead on the floor, surrounded by a pool of blood.
Oh. My. Flowers.
That is so good! You NEED to update. Now, please!
Genre: Romance, Rating: R, Summary: Lori Starrett vowed to never love another. But what happens when she meets Eledhwen Elerossiel? R&R please. No flames.
Discovering Love
Chapter One: The Meeting
Lori Starrett sang a happy tune as she melodically drifted down the corridors of HQ in a long forest green dress. Her sparkling auburn hair drifted in the wind and her voice was like the trilling of a thousand nightingales. Her skin was as pale as porcelain and her eyes as green as the leafy halls of Mirkwood, home of her former lover, Legolas Thranduillion.
She sighed as she remembered her former love, who had left her to go to the Grey Havens. In her sadness, a single, pearly tear slipped down her porcelain cheek . “Oh Legolas,” she sighed wistfully. “I will never love another ever again.”
(Author’s Note: Just pretend she never met Bill Fallis.)
Lori had been recruited by the PPC for her skills as a healer but instead of working at Medical she preferred to spend her days in the everwhite labs of the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research. There she was an excellent scientist, discovering many things about Mary Sues and adding to the PPC’s knowledge about them. She would have been the new Lab Director or even Department Head, but she modestly turned down the offer.
But now as she walked the halls, she suddenly collided with someone.
“Ouch!” an equally melodius tone exclaimed.
“Who are you?” Lori queried.
“Eledhwen Elerossiel,” the elleth replied. She had dark hair as mysterious as midnight and grey eyes like those of Legolas. “Who are you?”
“Lori Starrett.”
Eledhwen smiled. “The best scientist in HQ?”
“I don’t know.”
“You are. That’s what everyone says. And I think I’ve had quite a crush on you ever since you were recruited.”
The tears welled up. “But I cannot love another! My heart has been given to Legolas of Mirkwood, and he hath forsaken me. I shall spend the rest of my life grieving for my lost love.”
Eledhwen looked at her sadly. “My lady, my heart doth grieve for you.” She reached out and took Lori’s hand. “But I have loved you, too. Try. Try to love someone else.”
Lori bowed her head, saying nothing but feeling much.
Author’s Note: Please read and review! I hope I have Lori and Eledhwen in character!
Chapter Two: Falling In Love
“Do you not know that I dream of you every night?” Eledhwen whispered.
Lori blinked and looked up at Eledhwen. “You do?” she murmured.
“Ay, tis true. You are the lady of my dreams, the fairest mortal I have ever seen…”
“Eledhwen!” came a screeching voice. It was Christianne Shieh, Eledhwen’s evil partner! “I thought you loved me!”
Eledhwen turned to face her partner. “I loved Lori more,” she replied simply.
“How dare you! You’ve broken my heart!” Christianne howled. “I’ll get back at you for this, I promise youuuuu!” And with that the spiteful Christianne stalked away.
Lori looked at Eledhwen with sparkling eyes. “You really do love me!” she cried joyously. “Oh, why have I lurked in sadness for so long? I love you too, Eledhwen!”
Eledhwen smiled and leaned in and kissed Lori on the lips.
To Be Continued…
Author’s Note: Please read and review! I hope I have them in character!
I do not know if you hav them in charcterer, but its truly sucha lovely story of beautiouslove. Alos i ma thrilled tha you rote a femslash fic b/c we need mor of that. ratio of hetero to slah is very high afterall.
I feel so sorry for Lori because she lost her love and I hope Eledhwen can help her more and I really dont like Christianne because shes so mean to Eledhwen and yelled at hr for being in love and people cant help who they fall in love with.
Write more soon please!
i cant tell b/c u dont use gud namez but f their both gurlz thats just ICKY and EW bt f eldehwhen iz boy den itz OK
So Romantic. Please continue.
(I'd like to join the game and mock Suethors who purposefully write Sues/Stus because they consider them "creative characters" and love them. So, here goes:)
Username: PrincessxKatricia
Bio: Hi!!! I love to write lotsof stories abuot the PPC!! The PpC is so awsome!!! And yeah, I like wrighting about Marry Sues but their my own characters so there!! I can write anything I want!!! Please review my stories!!!! No flames!!1
I am Agent Lyseaen Kai'loie of the PPC. I have a slim figure, eyes that change color (between purple and blue), and midnigt blue hair that is violet streaks. Yeh, I'm a Mary Su.
So what!?
The PPc only kills evil Sues now. All the good ones, like me, are recruited. In fact, because there aren't enough evil ones for everyone the Sunflower Oficial opened up a new Mary Sue factory to keep the agents in shape. (A/N: See, doesn't that make cense?)
Because I already have prefect fighting skills and can reade minds and have powerful magic, I only have to go out on missions. Also, I'm half-goddess so I'm immortal.
That's me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The console in my flower-themed R.C. went off.
[Eeeevvvviiilll Sssuuuueee Aaallleeeerrrtttt!!!}, it sang.
"Lets go", I told my silver pet dragon Silverleah.
I stepped through the pink and gold portal.
I kno there is presedent for Mary Sues to becmore egants of the PPC so i find your stry to tne very likely and not ooc for the PPC. I relly like your charcter and want to see more from her!
she sounds lik a totallly intrestin charachter u shuld writ lots mre about her
This is a very interesting take on the PPC! And I don't care that Lyseaen seems to be like a MS, she's an interesting character and I hope you'll write more!
Rating: T
Genre: Fantasy/Romance
Summary: This is the story of Agent Lyseaen Kai'loie. Yes, shes a Mary Sue. If you don't like it, dont rede it. No flames!
Hi it's me again and as you can see I learned a few thigns like putting better spelling into things and some of my friends got me into slash a little while back so I thought i'd write something about a couple of hot Agents.
Summary: Kelvin is lonely because he wants to find his one True love but he has to hide his real preferrences but could one person from StarWars change all that?
Category: PPC
Rated: 15 maybe M for later chappies
Chapter one
One day in Hq there was this really hott Elf called Kelvin and he was really cute and everything because Elves always are with long black hair that was always soft and smooth and deep grey eyes with the light of the stars in them like elves have. He had lots of problems because he was so cute and all the girls in Hq wanted to get together with him andn be his one True love bcause elves are only supposed to marry once ever. But Kelvin could never find this true Love amongst the girls and this made him sad because he was so lonely but it wasn't his fault because he secretly liekd men but he couldn't ever say that because it would make the girls ssad and he was too nice to make them sad.
He was walkign down the corridor whent he nearly walked into somebody comeing the other way but he didn't of course because elves are too graceful to walk into somebody. “Oh I;m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t see you there”. “Are you all right”?
“Yes I;m fine thankyou”, said the other person and Kelvin looked at him for the first time properly. The person was not human because he had pink skin and purple hair and vivid purple eyes but he looked very handsome anyway.
“Hello who are you”? “I haven’t seen you around before” the Elf commented.
“My name is Cavan and I’m a Zeltron from Star Wars” was the reply. “Who are you”?
“My name is Kelvin Talathion and I used to be a minor Stu but I was saved by the PPc”.
Kelvin could feel an attraction to Cavan imediately because he was so handsome and he moved closer and looked around to make sure none fo the girls who followed him around were nearby because he didn’t want them to see how attracted he was to Cavn. And Cavan smiled at him and put one arm around his waist and said “Would you like to come back to my place”? becaus he was attracted to Kelvin as well. The Elf looked at him and he was a bit worried in case they were seen but Cavan just shrugged and said “Im a Zeltron and we make friends with everybody so dont’ worry about it”.
So Kelvin said “Okay” and he went back to Cavan’s rC with him and they went in and closed the door and began to kiss because they both felt so attracted to each other and kelvin knew he’d found his one true love but they were interrupted when the door crashed open.
Standing there in the doorway was Cavans partner Rilwen and she hated him because she knew he was really gay and she thought that was wrong because she didn't think men should be in love with each other but women were all right because it was prettier that way and she was in love with Kelvins partner Lyra.
“HOW DARE YOU DO THIS IN OUR RC”‼‼‼! She shouted at Cavan and drew her lightsaber to kill them both.
[[And ohgod this one's painful. I apologise to everyone who may get LxC flashbacks from my punctuation. This was originally planned as a badfic-alternative to this: http://lady-rilwen.livejournal.com/19028.html ]]
Hehehe I left you all on a cliffie last time!
Thanks for the nice reviews XxLuminescent-TearsxX and MystikalLuvrrRr because at least its nice to know that some people lke my work unlike some people like that honest critic person who doesn’t know what theyre talking about.
A/n; I decided that even though Kelvins from lOTr hed know about Star Wars because of working in the PpC so that’s why he knows about Sith and Jedi just in case anybody wonders why.
Rilwen lunged at Kelvin to kill him because she thought it was all his fault that Cavan was being gay and she didn;t care that he was Kelvins true Love. But Cavan was a Sith like Rilwen and he jumped in front of Kelvin to save him and drew his own lightsaber and he began fighting with Rilwen to make her stop trying to kill them and eventually he beat her and her lightsaber stopped working and Cavan was gong to kill her but he didn;t because Kelvin was there and Kelvins goodness made Cavan feel ashamed of being evil because that’s what Sith are so he put his lightsaber down and told Rilwen “Go away”. “I will let you live but you must never try to harm Kelvin again”. “He is a good person and I love him and you must accept that because you are homosexual yourself”.
And Rilwen didnt answer but she knew he was right and she ran away crying to find her lover and left them alone. Kelvin sighed in relief and turned to Cavan and gave him a pasionate embrace and whispered “Thank you for saving me”.
Cavan looked up at him sadly and replied “Your goodness is what made me do it because Im not a good person myself”. “Im a Sith and we are evil but youre so good that I cant be with you because youre too good to love somebody evil”.
Kelvin was heartbroken bcause he knew Cavan was his one True Love and he didnt want to lose him but he knew Cavan was right so he thought for a while and then he said “I dont want to lose you Cavan but if youre evil then we cant be together but thre is a way for us to be together”. “You can turn to the Light Side of the Force and be a Jedi like Luke Skywalker because he was able to love even though he was a Jedi”.
And Cavan smiled and said “Yes Ill do that for you and then we can always be together” and he stopped being Sith and came to the Light Side and was a Jedi and then Kelvin was happy because he could finally be together with his True love and they made love together and they were both happy.
And all the girls who wanted to be with kelvin were sad at first because they knew he could never get with them now but they were happy because he was happy and Kelvin and Cavan were so hot together. And in the end they went up to the Flowers and got transferred so that Kelvin and Cavan were partners and could be together and because they were good they made sure that Rilwen and Lyra were together as well so that they could love each other even though theyd been so mean to them.
The End‼!11!1‼!
Please R/r!
im so glad thy ended u p happi lol An it wuz soo Coool that Kevlin made cavan trn good!!1! XDDD
Sleep with one eye open, girl. If a random meteor does not put you out of my misery, I will.
[[I leave it up to all of you to just imagine whether it's the man himself, or a normal anon using the tried-and-true 'make the character yell at you' trick.]]
OMG youre such a mean flamer and youre just like all the other homophobic people out there who dont like my story!!!"!11!
Homophobic? As if. You're just stupid.
See you are homophobic because you called it stupid but Im not because I think its good if people are in love even if theyre both guys or both girls.
That wasn't love. That was mutual gooiness of the kind you get when a fanbrat rips out both parties' spines.
You dont know what real love is because love can be a bit gooey but its special and means something to them and youve probably never even had a boyfriend so you dont know what youre on about so stop FLAMING ME!
yuck why do u writ such rubish?
I used to think slash was not very nce but my friends got me into it and now I know its just as good as het except with different people involved and youre just a FLAMER and you can just shut up because nobody asked for your opinion!
I used to like you stories but now I just think they suck because youre homophobic and thats just wrong and unfair!
...but your presentation is appalling. Perhaps your friends, who 'got you into' slash, would be more suitable for writing this story than you are.
Tihs is my first story writing slash so you should just leave me alone because I had plenty of trouble last time I rwote a story and I had lots more trouble with my spelling back then so you should just appreciate that Ive improved that way and let me tell my story the way I want it.
THIS IS SO CUTE AND SEXY. I hope you continue with this and that they fight off Cavan's partner so that she doesn't kill them. anyway int she overreacting a miet? i mean... preaching at them ok... but drawin a litesaber??!? bit mcuh.
anyway, continue plzplzplzplzkthnx
Oh, they are very Pretty. Cavan should use his Powers on that Rilwen to make her join in with them instead. She can't be in Real love, or she would not be so Cruel. Cavan should make her be in Love with him and Kelvin. Then he would not have to Fight her for his Elf.
A/N: So here she is again -- JAYCACIA THORNBYRD!!! She's back at last in an ALL NEW AVDENTURE!!! Hope you ENJOY and please READ AND REVIEW!!!
Chapter 1 -- Break
Jaycacia Thornbyrd stood in the Committee Room and breathed deeply. "All right," she said. "I'm ready."
Do you truly understand what is asked of you? a mental voice said out of the darkness.
"I do," Jaycacia replied. "The survival of the entire PPC rests on my actions here and now - on my sacrifice."
There will be no going back, another voice told her. Once you do this, you will never be able to return to who you were.
"I know," Jaycacia affirmed. "But if I stop now, what life I have will be one of misery and suffering under a cruel master."
It will be incredibly painful, a third voice said gently, both during and after the transformation.
Jaycacia smiled grimly. "Death is more painful," she said. "Death is forever."
Then so be it, a fourth voice said, one she knew very well. Beloved, your sacrifice will be remembered.
"I know, husband mine," Jaycacia told the Sunflower Official. "Thank you."
Let us begin, a fifth voice said with grim finality. Please enter the circle...
*-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-*
One Day Earlier...
Jaycacia laughed as she hugged the SO around his stem. "Oh, my husband," she exclaimed, "you are the greatest!"
It's not much, the SO replied demurely. It's only your due as the greatest Assassin in the history of the PPC.
"Oh, now there must be more to it than that," Jaycacia retorted. "I've been the greatest for years. Why now?"
"Haven't you checked the date?" her mother, Jay, asked. Jaycacia frowned.
"Well, it must be... oh!" She blushed. "It's the first of Jaycaciamonth!" (A/N: I figured time is a mess in HQ, so they can't use normal months, right? So they named the months after their favourite people, like Jaycacia, Jay, the SO, Makes-Things, and I guess some others. Innit cool? *-*)
That it is, the SO confirmed. And as you know, Jaycaciamonth starts on the day you finally defeated the evil Acacia Byrd - he paused to spit on the ground - for good.
"So we thought you deserved a reward," Jay told her, grinning.
Jaycacia smiled wider. "My own statue..." she breathed.
To be unveiled in one week, the SO informed her. And that's not all. You also get a holiday.
"But I thought we never got holidays!" Jaycacia exclaimed. Jay grinned.
"Normal Agents don't. But we're assistants to the SO, my darling - he can make all the exceptions he wants."
And I think a week off will do us all good, the SO said. I've already set up a portal to a little place I know. A secluded woodland glade, a pool fed by warm springs, fruit trees on every side... and beds of earth softer than any feather mattresses.
Jaycacia smiled knowingly. "Just the three of us, then?"
Just the three of us.
"Then what are we waiting for?"
~
"Salve, Acacia."
Acacia Byrd jumped so high she nearly dropped the bowl of dates in her arms. "Jay?!" she exclaimed. "But..."
"Hi, Acy," Jay said, waving. "How was my Latin?"
"Absolutely appalling, to be honest," Acacia said. "But, what are you doing here?"
Jay shook her head disappointedly. "You haven't been paying attention to the calendar," she said, and held up a sheet of paper. "I thought you'd like to know that Miss Jaycacia Thornbyrd is up to her old tricks again."
Acacia winced. "'Like' is hardly the word I'd use," she said. "What's she doing this time?"
"Oh, statues, months named after her, erotic holidays with myself and the SO..." Jay shrugged. "The usual. You seem to have stayed dead, though."
"That's a relief," Acacia muttered. "So... oh, look, do you want to come inside? We can sit down with some dates or something and chat."
Jay grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."
A/N: So Iv'e seen other people doing this and tohught it looked like a good ieda so I'm doing review replies.
MystikalLuvrrRr: I'm glad you liked it. And LOL, I tihnk I may Acacacia a bit mroe evil than she really is becaus it made teh story more interesting. As for the months ummm you'l see later (if I keep teht chapter in LOL).
Ellintyra Lloysinthayr: I totaly agree! Tahnk you fory our review.
Lilith Wydenbrooke: Ummmm yea I thought that hackr wouldve given up bu now but aparrently not.
AgafndYou: I cant' tell you if sh'es going to die! Taht would spoil it!
brandywinebaby89: TAhnk you for your review!
Honest Critic: Ummmm thanks? Im' doing what you said and not using mutliple punctuation mars or numberals (except in brandybaby's name LOL) so hopefully youl'l like taht.
A/N: Okay so tihs is the chapter which is why the story is rated R. Umm if you dont' like that you can skip it.
*-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-* *-*
Chapter Two - Sweat
As soon as Jaycacia, Jay and the SO arrived in the secluded glade, Jay pulled off her--
~
Jay glanced down the first few lines and then screwed the sheet of paper into a ball. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she said.
"Oh, absolutely," Acacia agreed. "That's why I came back in time two thousand years, tracked you down in the largest city in the known world, and made you leave your workshop to read the new epic tale of the greatest travesty known to man." She paused for a moment. "Oh, wait, never mind."
Jay glowered at her and plucked another date from the bowl. "You still went and got the second chapter," she accused. "You knew it was going to be bad."
"The whole thing's bad," Acacia said calmly. "You didn't have to bring it here."
"I thought you'd like seeing me again," Jay muttered. "My mistake."
Acacia rolled her eyes. "Of course I do, Jay," she said. "But you don't need a Mary-Sue-shaped excuse to come and visit. Or a date-shaped one," she added, looking at the half-empty bowl next to Jay's chair.
The other woman dropped her hand guiltily, although not before popping one final date into her mouth. "She said I can skip it," she said. "Can I skip it?"
"If you really want to," Acacia allowed. "I checked, and there's nothing plot relevant. You might want to read the last paragraph, though."
"Oh, fine," Jay replied. Picking the page up again, she smoothed it out and read.
~
As night began to fall, Jaycacia sat beside her lovers and looked out over the glade. It had been a wonderful few hours, the happiest she remembered, and the prospect of a whole week here made her smile both inside and out. Leaning against the SO's stem while Jay rubbed her feet, she thought about where they might go tomorrow. Little did she know that before the night was over, the peaceful forest would be marred by death.
I hope there will be more action!
That hacker ruined the whole chapter this time and we only got to see a tiny bit so maybe you should get in contact with the Fanficland mods and see whats going on because its really getting unfair.
But now Im getting worried about whats going to happen to Jyaycacia because you said someones going to die! I hope its not Jaycacia or the SO because theyre just too in love to be broken apart but even if it was Jay Id be sad because she deserves some happiness after living with Acacia.
Except for your author's notes and chapter title. If you are capable of using proper spelling and punctuation throughout your story, you should be able to use it all the time. Never write in numerals and do not EVER use multiple punctuation marks. Other than that, you have done very well.
UR riting more! This is awsum! ur best yet! rite more!
XOXOX
I DIDENT BELEEVE IT I M SOOOOO JELUSS OF JAYCACIA N JAY! BUT SHES GONNA DIE ISNT SHE?!?!?!?! OMG WRITE MORE NAOW!!!
This is a great story! Except the end, where Acacia and Jay got all out of character. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Dat stuff at the end isnt JayBirds fualt, she said that b4. Sum1 is hacking her or something. Stupid hackerz! STFU!
XOXOX
I've been looking forawrds to seeing Jaycacia again because I really think shes one of the best Assassins and I hope everything turns out all right for her cosshe deserves tobe happy after everything taht happened with Acaica.
Please writemore soon because I cant wait!
wow Jaycacia is so kool. th only thig i do not like is u made Acacia evil and then dead, b/c i think she is not evil only misunderstood. But Jaycacia is really cool and i cant wait to hear all about their holiday and the statue and so on. Wut order doyou think the months go?
(Hi all! Your friendly lurking lazy agent, Mystia Argent here. This here'll be my badfic writer.)
UN: MystikalLuvrrRr
Bio: Hi, everyone! I am the MystikalLuver (the more Rs the more love, hahahahha). I rite stores about the PPC and how the agents kill Sues or destroy badslash andte like. I goti nto te PPC vry very recently and fellin love!!! thyer so cool, protecting anon from badfic writers.
(having a new laptop actually helps with being a badfic writer, I keep mistyping! The key is just to not go back and fix it.)
Rating: PG
Genre: Action/Adventure
Characters Involved: OCs, Kurama (Yu Yu Hakusho), Various Harry Potter Characters
Summary: Mystik n her partner Krep find a badnslash fic of Kurama being sprited into the HP world! How will the defeat the Slash-demn?
When the rc console rang, Mstik cursed and fell out f her bed. "com look t this Krp," she sad. "Snt this terrible??!"
"What, Kreep? asked, lookn up at the screenm, :Ohgod," he said once he saw what was writne there. "Not another Kurama takes Grry's place fic is it?"
"No, Mystik said. "Worse." She croled down the summary of thebadfic and pointed out a fe choice lies to her partners.
Kreep stared unbelievably at the screen, "No!" he cried burryn his face in his pillow. "WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!! whata pervert. and not only kurama/bill but harlie/harry??" Like any PPC agent, Krep ha long ago mastred the art of pronouncing his punctuatin.
"I kno," sed Mysti calmingly to her partnrs. "But it loks like a quick in-and-out mission." She went to the consol and started typing in cordinates and disguises. "Well just collect some charges and bash'em on the head with anon." She didn't look up from hr tsk as she spok. "Wouljo get the canon, please, Krep? I will mak desguided for us."
"Ok," he said, grabbing the complte Yu Yu Hakusho abox set nd also Book Seevn of Harry Potter, which was called Harry Potter and the deathly hallows. He also took a baseball bat and his teddy bare. At Mystiks weirded out glane he said, "say wuyt you wil but you cannnever go rong with bluntobjects."
"And the bear?" Mystik sad?
"Faddrik is mai frend," Krepe anounced "Where I go, he goes."
"Well ok, said Mystkl. lets get on with it."
She punched in the coordinates with a drmatic pose wich caused Kreep to snigger and roll his yees. In a moment they were in prefic darkness.
"OH NO," KREEP SHOUTED. "YOU TOOK US TO THE UATHRS note."
"Sorry!" Mystik shouted, "i got distracted by Faddik!"
"Don't blame this on him!" he cried. But then the authors note started and they could not talk nymore--all they could do was cower wt ther ahdnsd over ther ears."SORRY ABOUT THE LONG DELAY," the auhtro xaid. "BUT THIS IS MY NEW FIC AND KURAMA WILL FINALLY FIND TRU LOVE, BUT NOT AFTR OBSTACLES, HAHAHHAA.
~Kurama: why you lways make thigs difficult for me?~"BEcause I can AHAHAHAHHAHAHA. And because you are sexy when you hurt."
Mecifuly it was ofver aftre that. They landed in what seemed like Koenmas office, but dumbldone was ther for som strane reason. "Luk at the words, Kreep," said Mstik. "What it say?"
TO BE CONTINUED. I WANT AT LEAT 2 REVIEWS BEFORE I CONTINUE, OK?!!?!?
Kreep tooka look te the wordsand groned. "Dumbledore is a "hoded man" howse eyse "twinkle". how kcan kurama telll if the hood covrs the facE???"
Mystik shrgged, "also ddnt dumbleDore whare a hat?"
The world wvas wobling on its aksis b/c the words were not bein clear. various onis and ferrygirls ran around seeminly igngoring th wobblin, but kuramas presence was wat was preventing them from noticing.
Konma expained why he called Kurama: "your going to protect harry potter and also make sure that voledmort does not win. he has made deals with eilv demons from makai so be careful." after explainin that voledort had also cheated the ferrgirls numerous times, Dumbledore disapparated witf kurama.
immedately the spell holding koenma and his staff disiipated and they looked very worred. they also immediately noticed the two ferrygirls, one of them disnctingly uncomftable as a femle, who did not belong.
"What are you doing here??!?!!" saked an unnerved guard.
Krepe was ready to kick ass, but mystik said no, "Liten! we are protecting u from the thing that kurama has become! we shall bring the wolrd bac to normal! but would you lend us an oar, please?"
"Sure!" said the guard wnce all was explained because tey could tell that the ppc agents were telling the truth becae the denizens of the aferlife can tell such hings.
soon they were flyin thru the air and mystik said, "Whee! this is fun!" but Krepe was not happy at all. (oshit i forgot to do description last chaper. let me explain real cquick: Kreep is a cartoon character he used to be in bad Fancomics Division but got transfered when fancomics got disbanded, btu he is still a cartoon. mystik is just a humna). His outlnes becaume jagged in his worry. "Please let's just poratl," he said.
"You roon al my fun!" Mystik cried but did not disaregee .They portaled strait to grim old place. and hid just in time as Kurama was scanning the sky for potential enemies.
TO BE CONTINUED. SINCE I HAD WAY MOR THAN FOR REVUES I WANT AT LEAST FIVE BEFO4RE I UPADTE, OK?!
also i m lookin for a betareder becase i miss some spelings so i hope somene can please do rtht for me.
I need to think of some accurate manner in which to describe my assessment of this work.
Mystika, if I may call you that, you have created some manner of literary abortion. And not the clean kind. Yours is a bloodied coathanger hanging from the twat of the very art form. I believe my eyes have been sullied.
I will disregard your flagrant disregard for the rules of spelling, grammar and consistency for the same reason many disregarded Hitler's parking tickets. They are innumerable and disinteresting in comparison to your other, more blatant flaws.
First is the main character of your fic. Mystik? A bland charicature of a character, who I can only assume you based on yourself. Kreep and his bear seem to exist only as foils for her disgusting tomfoolery. The villain or target, while they have yet to be properly introduced, is thus far a half-mentioned background figure who the characters react to with horror in a manner grossly disproportionate to the threat the enemy represents.
Also, Faddik is a stupid name.
So, in conclusion, please go kill yourself.
Sincerely,
Kingflamer
no 1 shuld eva pair ahrry wit CHALRIE! how dare dey bring anumecharcters iinto a POTERVERSE FIC! gud on ur agnts 4 takin it on! dos my rview cont 4 2 plzzzz ined moreee!
Let me put it this way, MystikaLuvrrRr (and what kind of name is that?), you should never have picked up the keyboard. Learn to use spell-check, see what passes for GOOD fiction, and then maybe you can publish your work. Until then I'll thank you not to inflict your imbecilic writing on us.
U shuldn;t b so mEEEEEn she is doin her bes t but evry1 mks som mistaks if u dnt hav NEthing nice 2 sy then dont say it!!111!!!! PS MyskaLuvvrrr i think yr story is Awesum!!! :DDDD
This is a great story; keep it up! :D
A/N: Yes, I Know I have been long Away. Still, here is more of my Story. Again, no Flames!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/<br>
She had waited so Long. And then, she saw Him amid the blaekness of the Corridors.
he was so Handsome. This was her First thought, that his Radiance might better suit a god.
So tall and Pale with hair of the same Raven Hue as her own, and deep mysterios Eyes of Midnight black. Could he be like Her, she wondered?
"my Lady," his Voice was so deep and smooth. "I saw you there and saw the Sadness in your eyes and wonderd if I could lift it away from you. you are so Beautful, and the beautiful should never know such sorrow."
"My Lyfe has been sorrow, kind stranger." She looked at him with hope arisng. "But Maybe you could help me. What is your name."
"Gezeraxion Frostheart, Lord of the Shadows. all the world to me is Blood upon snow until I saw you. You melt the Frost in my heart fair lady. Tell me your name, I beg you."
"I am Ellerianniel Darkrose, Raven Lady of Sorrow. Or I was, but my Sorrow vanishes around you."
He kissed her, his arms aruond her, his Skin as smooth and Cold as her own. Yet they felt Heat, for it was only Mortals who Truly felt them as Cold, to each other they were perfect.
He swept her up and carried her to his RC, all painted in black with Blooodred bats painted within. And then they spent all Night together proving that they truly knew Love and that they need not fear Death at each other's Ivory Fangs. (A/N: Gezeraxion and Ellerianniel are too Noble to write Smut of this Scene. I aologise to any Readers who were expecting it.)
it took Days for any to seek them, before one who was Jealous that Gezeraxion had taken the Love of one so beautiful told the flowers, nd the Vampyres were told they must not see each other again in case they left the PPC to live in their Destiny elsewere.
Ellerianniel Wept, her Tears of Blood like Ruby crystals, and Gezeraxion plaeded that they not be parted, for they had gone so long without love. Then they said that if they were parted, they would walk into Sunlight, for Death was better than losing this Love.
The Flowers saw how true their love was and relented and they became partners, and for Eternity after, they were Great and famous Agents whose Love was a legend, and were never Lonely again.
And they did not Care that they never saw the Sun, because they were both so much Fairer than sunlight could ever be, so that alll admired them and the Pure strength of their everlatsing True Love.
The End.
/\/\/\/\/\/<br>A/N: And now it is Done and their story is told, and your Comments are Welcomed to greet the lovers in their story.
That was the most convoluted piece of rubbish I have read YET on this terrible website. English is not a language which capitalises words other than proper nouns and those at the beginning of a sentence. Learn our language properly before you try to use it.
Im glad she found some happyness and he seemed really cute and dont think you need to apologise for no smut because some people cant write it for some fo their characeters and it was really good anyway!
Name: Lilith Wydenbrooke
Bio: May Gobernon. I'm Lilith Wydenbrooke and I write fic for OFUM (and some other OFUs) and the DMSE&R at the PPC. I think I write really good stories! My BFF Lauriea says they're totally terrific and that I make everyone in character, and that my Original Characters are totally believable! I love writing fanfic, so please read and review!
((note to hS: I'm going to mock the Suethor-In-Denial. Namely, the one that uses decent grammar but is still a badfic writer. And the fanfic before this is rated K, the genre is Romance, the category OFUs, and the summary is "Lilith Wydenbrooke is the Cinderella of OFUM. This is her story, R&R please. No flames." Sorry about neglecting to include the info; I was too excited about the Game being up.))
Masquerade of OFUM
Lilith Wydenbrooke would not exactly be the pride of the students at OFUM, but she was for the teachers. She did her assignments accordingly, never tried to sneak into the staff section, yet could be just as evil as Elrond if provoked.
She was an elf, not for attracting Legolas, but because the thought of being wise and immortal appealed to her.
She had long hair as dark as midnight and eyes that were silver and mithril at the same time.
It was a pity that she rarely showed her face, for 99.999999999999% of her spare time she would be reading. Therefore, many of the students dubbed her ‘mini-Hermione’.
The Yuletide ball was approaching swiftly, and soon tongues began to wag about the ball, and most importantly, what they were going to wear. Lilith blissfully avoided the chatter and arguments over materials and accessories, and who was taking whom. Sadly for her, if the other girls weren’t busy devising plans to ask their lust objects out, or arguing and chatting, they were mercilessly teasing her.
“Poor Lilith,” sneered Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury, who was the most Mary-Sueish girl in OFUM, “it’s such a shame that you read. You look as if you didn’t know there was a Yuletide ball.”
“Mini-Hermione’s only fit to go with a book!” crowed Rosalie’s friend Legatine Greenwood, wrinkling her dainty nose.
Lilith paid them no heed, though deep down she was miserable.
The staff seemed to decide that a three day trip to Minas Tirith would give the students enough time to get a dress and accessories, or to get one done by a seamstress. All the students thought it was a break from studies. They strolled around the city like one would do at a mall.
Legolas, the much fangirled and stampeded Prince of Mirkwood, chanced to also be shopping at the same time. Excited girls followed him everywhere, hoping for a date. Their eyes seemed to gleam with anticipation when they noticed him buying a diamond ring at a shop and they wondered who it was for. They also saw him buy a beautiful green dress with matching green dancing slippers and excitement grew to its height. Then he headed into a pub and sat down, weary. The barmaid bustled over, and countless giggling girls found themselves squeezing into nearby booths.
Lilith came in, with a book as usual, but she wasn’t reading it. She dropped into the seat facing Legolas and then started.
“Were you expecting someone?” she asked him, eyeing the bags of purchases.
“No, not at all,” replied Legolas, waving a dismissive hand.
Lilith nodded. She carried the signs that she had been crying.
“Why do you weep?” asked Legolas after a while.
“Those other girls at the University. They tease me so,” Lilith didn’t know how it happened, but soon she found herself pouring out her heart to him. “They call me ‘mini-Hermione’, and I do know about the upcoming ball! Why do they think I do not? What is it of their concern why I read? Why can’t I be left alone? And then one of those empty-headed girls that lust you had to go and tell me that I ought to be dating a book.” She sniffled sadly.
Legolas was taken back. Lilith was always so calm, so collected, compared to this sad little creature, at least. Out of sympathy, he shyly patted her hand.
That night, Lilith went to bed with hope in her heart.
It was the night of the Yuletide Ball, and Nimloth, Lilith’s roommate, had gone to the room across from them to borrow a hairpiece. Lilith flopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. She had decided the day before that she was not going to the Ball simply because she didn’t want to spend the evening in the company of giggling fangirls in pink. Also, she didn’t have a dress.
Nimloth came back in with the hairpiece and got herself dressed to the nines. Snickering something about “mini-Hermione would rather stay in and snog books, wouldn’t she”, the pesky fangirl left for the ball, evidently trying to catch Legolas’s eye.
Lilith sniggered at her roommate’s back. The staff had conveniently “forgotten” to tell the students that it was going to be a masquerade, so there wasn’t much of a chance to tell Legolas apart from the others.
“Lilith!” The girl’s head snapped around to see Legolas, dressed rather dashingly in blue, with his face concealed behind a mask. There was no mistaking his voice, though. “Are you not going to the ball?”
“No,” replied Lilith. “I don’t fancy spending my night surrounded by the likes of Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury.”
Legolas grinned. “They wouldn’t recognize you if you have a mask on. We DID fail to tell them that it was to be a masked ball.”
Lilith sighed. “Maybe. But I don’t have anything to wear.”
“Done and done.” The Prince of Mirkwood disappeared, but not before some bags were sitting on the windowsill in his stead.
Lilith peeked into the bags and discovered the contents. Grinning to herself, she prepared to arrive at the Ball fashionably late.
“Nobody ever told us that the ball was MASKED!” screamed Rosalie Berthilide Evangeline Eglantine Pottermalfoy Sparrowturner Hawkesbury.
“Oh, how are we ever going to find Leggie in this mess?” gasped Legatine Greenwood.
Suddenly all heads turned and a sudden stillness fell over the room when Lilith made her entrance.
Her whole being gave off a pure, wholesome light. Behind the delicate apple-green mask with the embroidered flowers, mithril eyes sparkled with a previously unknown radiance.
Legolas saw her from the other side of the hall, and slowly walked towards her as if in a dream.
“May I have the pleasure of this dance?” he asked her quietly as he kissed her hand. Rosalie seethed. Lilith smiled.
“Certainly, dear masked Prince.”
The End!
Author's Notes:Please review! It's my first story and no, Lilith is not a Mary Sue! :D
Awwww that is sooo sweat!
i woodnt wory Lilith isnt a Mar ySue! good job ths stry ROX!!! :DDDDDDD
You can start by re-writing the whole thing.
That is such a great story! Don't worry aboyt Lilith. ;) Shes not a Mary Sue if you say so. Lol, but this is so wonderful. You are a amazing wrighter!
(Wrong name as a reviewer, sorry. Please make sure the reviewer's name is PrincessxKatricia.)
I actualy said all that, srry.
you are such an mazing riter! i am really jealous. i have written stories before but not as g00d as yours. please keep writing! Lilith is sucha kool haracter! an she deserves to get the best ball evar!
aw dat's so cte its luvly 2 see lilith get what she dserves! of course shs not a marysue! urso good @ writin!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEREEEEEEEE!
[*shrug* I have some time to kill today; might as well imitate those ridiculous authors who post ten things at once, assuming my creativity can keep up...]
AN: i didnt get 30 reviews you MEANEINGS! bt b/c im such a nice persun ill giv u da seqel nyways!
iza (u know, de evil bad slashr who tried ta brek up sedri n jonothan/caspian?) wuz sittin in her rc broodin b/c sedri wuz hapy w/jonothan n she was back wrkin in bad slsh and she hatd it b/c who WOULDNT hate 2 wirk in bad slash al day n watch thos stupd autor s make cut guys kiss EACH SOTHER ALL THE TIMEW? (a/n EWWWWW!)
de floweds had snt isa to bad slash bcause shewuz evil 2 sedri so iza desided she had 2 kiol sedri
sedir an jonothn wre in deir RC (#1830 bc iza ws kiked out the y got it al to thsm selves!) bein all hapy & cuddly& kissy & kawaii when iza stromed in w/ a flamthrowr & tried to KILL TEHNM!
jonothn saw wut was hapening in time n pushed sedri outa da way but wsn't fast enough 2 sav imself & IZA KILLED HIM!
& sedri lurked @ da body of hr luver and sudenly got real angry (a/n which she NEVER did b/fore bcause shes such a nice prson!) & jumped over n kiled iza with da flme thrower & iza screamed and bleeded and DYED!
then sedi cried n cried n cried over da body of her jonothn and all the pcc wuz sad 4 her and da flowers decided tat bcuuse she wus so gud she could go in2 narnia an marry teh real caspian (a/n u know cus jonothn wus oringinly a garystu but sedir rescud him?) n she did an she becaem queen of narina and lived HAPLY EVAR AFTA!
THE END!!!!
[Shudder, squirm, rinse, repeat... Ick.]
You didn't get thirty reviews because you didn't deserve them. You didn't even deserve ONE. Your story was cliched, convoluted and OOC. Do you know what that means? "Out of Character." You have no idea what kind of people Sedri and Iza are, and you shouldn't try to understand them. You'll fail. You're not a nice person and you have no grasp on common sense - if you dare to keep criticising slash you're going to end up arrested by social workers because SLASH is the FUTURE. How else are we going to control the world's population problem?
Stop writing. Go and work at McDonald's.
Rated:
Genre:
Characters: Makes-Things, OC
a/n amkes things SHULDNT HAV DDDDDIIIIIEED! GGRGRRRRR 2 DA IDJIT WHO ROTE DAT STPID IDAE!
1 day iin th ppc som idit desided 2 kil makesthings bt smehow (AN NO ID ON"T KNW HW B/C I DINDT READ DA STPID THIN ALL DA WAY THRU!!!!) a magik gurl named ALjArinna Siti mylong thinkalong sved him and dey got amrried and lived HAPLY EVR AFTA!
SOTHERE!@!!!!!!!@!!!
[By the way, hS, are you going to add FFN's new touches to FanficLand? Involved character listed in the specs, and so on? I've included those details here for you just in case. :) Thanks for starting this again!]
WOOWW this Is SOOO COOOOLLLL!!1!! it was So EEEEVVILLLLL when mT diied tnk u 4 briging him bck!!! 1!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
wut kinda ijit woulda killed Makes-Things! Defintely mak ehim surrvive!!!!!
but wouldnt makes-things be marryed to his work rather than to a woman? mabey if they wurked together they culd stay marrid.....
wut do you think??
You said taht you dont know how aljarinna saved Makes-Things but i don't remember taht happenning in the PPC so is this yor story or wat??
[[I might. It comes down to whether I have time for it, really. If not, I'll probably upgrade it between games to include them -- I did that with the menu buttons and popups this year; it's a lot easier when I'm not posting 'fics as well ;) ~hS]]
Your story, th eTRU storyof makes things RLIVES ON 4EVAAAA!, is the FIFTIETH story to be posted on Fanfic Land!
As a reward, we would love to present you with a shiny plaque -- it will be posted on your user profile FOREVER so EVERYONE knows how well you did!
~Fanfic Land Admin
i got a shiny i gont a shiny i got a SHINY YYYYY!
YAY! MAKES THINGS LIVES! i luv this stry 5 stars!!!! :DDDD
More accurately, I would like to make a note before people get really into it that I am not in the least bit comfortable with any of my Agents or character concepts being used in this. I know, it's arrogant to presume that anyone would want to, but I just wanted to make it clear just in case, sorry. Just so that people know I'd really rather not only sit out of this, but not have my characters involved. Hope everyone else has fun, but I wanted to lay this down just to head off the chances of anything happening. Sorry.
Last year I told Kit I didn't want my agents being used in porn, but he could do anything else he wanted to them. I'm just not comfortable with seeing what is effectively a copy of myself engaging in detailed if intentionally poorly-written sex. Other than that, though, guys - go nuts with my girls. Just keep your paws off Snowspine's property, I'm not sure how happy she'd be with it.
No one would have done anything mean-spirited, you know.
That said, if you want to write about an absolutely evil Agent Sedri going on rampage and torturing your agent's poor, long-suffering self anyway, I don't mind.
I don't mean to be rude or ruining anyone's fun, or anything like that, sorry. I'm just really not comfortable with the idea, so I'd rather stay out of it. Besides, I'm writing a ridiculous amount of stuff at once, including like five missions. I'd never actually get to writing the badfic! :P Sorry again.
A.N.: i know i've been gonn for a long time but I'M back now n with lots of new story n bettr formattin!!!!!!
luv in hQ chappie three!!!
"HIYAH!" screemed brenden as he blasted throo the wall wit his ninja skillz.
"holy carp!" yelled the Markee an Krista broke free of teh ropes n hled a flamethrower to his hed.
"u r under arrest!" she growld and marched him up to teeh office of the SO: UPSTAIRS!!!1!
"my luv u r so brave!" sighed Brenden n Krista say "I know".
DONT FORGET 2 R&R BCUZ WE R NOWHERE NEER DONE YET!!! :DDDDDD
A.N. CHAP 4!! is lyke chap stick, but not lolololol.
SO! Krista went UPSTAIRS to da SO n say "the Markee he kindnaped me n hled me hoostage an tryed to make out wit me wich was like ewwwwww!"
"i dun blame him" said the SO "WHAT?!" say Krista n brenden an SO set the Markee free.
"WE HAVE U NOW!" screemed both the flowers an came towerds th agnets n dandyloins came form the walls an the agents were surrounded!!
GASP! ANOTER CLIFFY! R&R AND NO FLAMRS PLX! I USE FLAMEZ 2 MAKE GRILLED CHEEZ!
I hope Krista and Brenden are going to be okay but I dont think the Flowers would really do that because flowers making out with people is weird but apart from that its a really good story!
YOUR STORY IS SO GOOD! I LOVE ITTTTTTT! :DDDDDDDDD
coooool nijaskils i want em noooooow!
Apparently not. Well, I can remedy that.
STOP
WRITING
You have NO idea what makes a good story (or even a story). I don't know who ever told you you could write; they lied, big time. Do us all a favor and just STOP.
shez riting a hartfelt story of TRUE LOVE. you will never undrstnd that!!!
so wut if she mipells a few things here and ther, dont we all????
She (or he) clearly knows better than you do. 'Heartfelt stories' are no good if no one can understand them and it's VERY IMPORTANT TO SPELL EVERYTHING RIGHT! You'll note that I, for example, never get 'a few things here and there' wrong.
woah. doo, u kno that if u reed thiss backewoulds it gloows blu & read & yello & slitly gren, ittss cooool **clappps**. dos yo hav anyy blu cokies as i rammed oute off tem fiv miuets agoo; anny gud fic ssssseveern out of thre ;~?..
peesss, y wer u gon soo lonb