Dash it! Curses! Foiled again! (nm)

odd by jabbuk d'eldrin on 2009-04-18 21:30:00 UTC Reply

My computer seems to have become obsessed with cake. I am not sure why. Does anybody have any idea as to the cause of this?

Pie > Cake by Gabriel on 2009-04-19 03:18:00 UTC Reply

Therefore, your computer is either stupid or mad (or both), and needs to be fixed. There's something very wrong with any intelligent being that is obsessed with cake but not with pie (especially cherry pie, or strawberry & rhubard pie).

Rhubarb pie?! by BattleHamster on 2009-04-20 22:47:00 UTC Reply

Heresy! The only true way to eat rhubarb is raw.

I dunno what kind of rhubarb you've been eating ... by The Trojanhorse on 2009-04-21 05:31:00 UTC Reply

... but the stuff I know as rhubarb is so acidic as to be unpleasant and gut-bubbling if eaten raw in any great quantity ...
lies! by Pads on 2009-04-21 01:15:00 UTC Reply

The true home of rhubarb is in a crumble with plenty of apple and bramble.

* rhubarb, that is. Not rhubard. by Gabriel on 2009-04-19 03:20:00 UTC Reply

Unless the rhubarb sings and plays the lute.

dammit by Pads on 2009-04-19 03:35:00 UTC Reply

Will you please not say the word rhubarb until it's in season? The stuff costs a bomb at the moment and you're giving me cravings.

Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb! Mwahahaha! (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-20 01:24:00 UTC Reply

thank Glod it's loan day by Pads on 2009-04-20 03:19:00 UTC Reply

I can buy as much rhubarb as I want now. Well, I could, if it weren't three in the morning. Curses.

Dash it! Curses! Foiled again! (nm) by Maudlin Hart on 2009-04-21 01:16:00 UTC Reply

I could afford half a metric ton by Pads on 2009-04-21 02:47:00 UTC Reply

Which is a scary thought.

And I can't believe how much time I just spent trying to find out how much rhubarb costs so I could work out just how much of it I could buy right now. Glod, I love loan day.

Now to work out how much space half a metric ton of rhubarb would take up...

Cake? by Aperture Science on 2009-04-18 22:50:00 UTC Reply

Your computer has merely become infatuated with another operating system: GLaDOS. No worries, however.

Please ensure that your computer does not have access to portal technology, and so long as you do that, you will be fine.

If however, your computer does have access to portal technology, you will need to dismantle it piece by piece and to make sure successful dismantling has taken place, destroy those pieces in fire. It does not need to be the lava of Mt Doom, but it can help.

And if you do spy any cake, remember, moist and delicious though it may be, it is still a lie.

(-JulyFlame)

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and deadly by jabbuk d'eldrin on 2009-04-18 22:56:00 UTC Reply

I mean, have you seen GLADOS's recipe?

Re: cake-obsessed computer by Tirya_Moonflame on 2009-04-18 22:09:00 UTC Reply

Maybe the Axis of Confectionary infected it through the crack in its screen. Random cake cravings are a sure sign of posession by the Pineapples.
...
Wait, how do you know it wants cake? Are you communicating with it through code embedded in multiple punctuation marks? -gasp- YOU'RE A SPY!!! You're working for THEM!
...
Oh, and if I'm wrong about the spy thing, I blame my subconscious for creating the whole conspiracy theory in the first place.

it might have be taken over by GLADOS by jabbuk d'eldrin on 2009-04-18 22:16:00 UTC Reply

and i know it is obsessed because of this:

GLADOS is an acronym for Genetic Lifeform And Disk Operating System

something new by jabbuk d'eldrin on 2009-04-18 22:26:00 UTC Reply

I think my computer really is under the control of GLADOS, because it just listed these ingredients:
one 18.25 ounce chocolate cake mix
one can prepared coconut pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all purpose flower
don't forget garnishes such as:
fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped Ethel benzine
pull n' peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
and sediment shaped sediment
candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish
one cup lemon juice
alpha resins
unsaturated polyester resin
fiberglass surface resins
volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yokes
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
one cup granulated sugar
an entry called: "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare-Hands"
2 cups rhubarb; sliced
2/3 granulated rhubarb
1 Tbsp all-purpose rhubarb
1 tsp grated orange rhubarb
3 Tbsp rhubarb; on fire
1 Large rhubarb
1 cross Bohr hole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 Tbsp rhubarb juice
adjustable aluminum head positioned
slaughter electric needle injector
cordless electric needle injector
injector needle driver
injector needle gun
cranial caps
and it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and oder control chemical's that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

I believe that if I did make this cake, it would explode in the oven. Or kill me if I ate it.

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Let him eat cake by khajidu on 2009-04-18 21:38:00 UTC Reply

Lol. My brain seems to be obsessed with tall ships.