To the tune of "I Have A Little Dreidel":

I have a mini-Balrog
It was spawned by a Sue
My partner gave it to me--
Oh, that day I would rue!

Chorus:
Oh, mini, mini, mini
What will I do with you?
You burnt up all my arrows
And even my new shoe.

Its name is Caradaras
Like the pass, don't you know
(The Sue that spawned it didn't
So my partner told her so!)

Chorus

Now when I'm on a mission
And freezing in the snow
I wish I had my mini
To make everything glow!

Chorus

--
I think that's all I've got for now...enjoy, I guess :)

~DF

Sung to the tune of "White Christmas". If I'm singing it, sung badly to the tune of "White Christmas".

Probably.

---

I'm stuck inside a beige Christmas,
Full to the brim with leaden prose,
Where the Words inspire
Ennui and ire,
And my hatred for canon abuse grows

I'm stuck inside a beige Christmas,
And praying I can last the night...
Characters are insipid and trite,
It's their faces I wish to ignite...

I'm stuck inside a beige Christmas,
And praying neuralysers might
Just end these poor abused canons' plight,
Let's get started. Look into the light...

Set to the tune of 'Baby, it's cold outside'.
The badfic in the song is probably C*l*br**n or another, equally bad, legendary badfic. Poor agents.

We really can't stay
(But, partner, a Sue's out there)
We got to go way
(But, partner, there's squick out there)
The console has made
(And look, wouldn't you just hate)
That awful BEEP!
(If I saw things that made me weep)

The SO will start to worry
(Commas falling down in a flurry)
The Big Thorn will be pacing the floor
(Listen to the Author's note roar)

So really we'd better scurry
(The tenses has all gone blurry)
But maybe just half a drink more
(Got some Bleepka here; let me pour)

Upstairs might think
(Partner, it's bad out there)
Say, what's in this drink
(No plot to be had out there)

I wish you would see
(Listen to my fervent plea)
That we can't stay
(That Sue will make us all her prey)

We do have a duty, partner
(Could be our death to charge her)
At least we ought to say that we tried
(But we could both end up fried)
We really can't stay
(Partner, just stay here)

Ahh, but a Sue's out there

We simply must go
(But, partner, there's angst out there)
The answer is no
(Torture and rape out there)

Though our RC is
(Better lay low through this)
So nice and warm
(Look at that punctuation storm)

Upstairs will be suspicious
(But this Sue is so malicious)
They'll know if we don't go in
(With purple eyes and ivory skin)

They'll punish us for delaying
(How, they're not even paying)
Well maybe just half a drink more
(Never such a badfic before)

We've got to start now
(But, partner, there's smut out there)
Say, lend me a bow
(It's up to your butt out there)

I hear what you say
(And she is to hard to slay)
But don't you see
(How can we do this, you and me)

Sanction will be forthcoming
(The plotline is truly mind-numbing)
Vacationdays will be revoked
(Vacationdays are just a cruel joke)
We really can't stay
(Get over that holdout)

Aah, but a Sue's out there

Lo, how the Flow'rs ere looming,

From tender stems hath sprung,

From Origin World they cometh,

As hS' tales have sung.

They came a beacon bright,

Amid a badfic winter,

In the dark of a Suvian night.

I'm planning to eventually record this with my band, The Social Outcasts, but until then, here it is.
[To Daft Punkby Pentatonix]

Find it, click it, read it, dump it,
Get a new one, look- review it,
Comment, favorite, flame it, check it,
Scroll it, follow, add- unadd it,
Spork it, laugh at it now, Snark it,
Write it, read it, quick- erase it,
Copy, upload, click that button,
Leave it, wait now,
Fanfic logic,
One more time,
[Oooh, oooh, oh]
One more time
[Oooh oh oh oh]
It's like the legend of the goodfic,
There's no end, just a beginning,
What keeps the website working,
The fandoms, alway quirking,
We've wrote too far,
To give up what we are,
So lets raise the bar,
And our ships to the stars,
We're all online to have fun,
We're up all night to get some,
We're up all night to the sun,
We're up all night to get writing,
(x2)
We're up all night to get writing,
We're up all night to get- up all night to get get
writing.
Last night, I wrote a fic about you,
In this fic, I'm shipping right besides you,
There's nothing wrong, with just a little slash,
We were shipping all night long,
Oh,
I don't know what to do,
About this fic and you,
I hope this fic is true,
One more time,
Hey, we're gonna canonate,
Oh yeah, don't stop the writing,
Write it harder, make it better,
Do it faster, make it longer,
Always ever hour after,
Our fics are never over,
(x3)
FanFics got me feeling so free,
celebrate with PPC,
One more time,
Fanfics got me feeling so free, we're gonna celebrate and write,
Tonight,
Yeah, feeling,
So good,
our fics to the stars,
(chorus)
Our fics are never over.

The Sue’s Head Carol [Song: The Boar’s Head Carol]

The Sue’s head in hand bear I,
Bedeck’d with gems so glittery
And I pray Eru, Valar, merry be
Blennum molestum prehendō. (I catch the annoying blockhead)

Caput Suei defero (The Sue’s head I offer)
Redens laudes Canonico.(Giving praises to the Canon)

The Sue’s head, as I understand
Is the commonest in Fanficland
Which thus is dreck and so very bland
Pero también ridículo. (But also ridiculous)

Caput Suei defero
Redens laudes Canonico.

The Stewardship she did dismiss
To elope with Faramir in bliss
He tells us, post-neuralysis:
Ai, hantanyel órenyallo! (Oh, I thank you from the bottom of my heart)

Caput Suei defero
Redens laudes Canonico!

Original song lyrics here. Latin wasn't quite flexible enough, so I added in some Spanish and Quenya for good measure.

______

I'll try for a non-Sueslaying carol next year, I promise!

Araeph

Currently writing one to the tune of Happy Xmas (war is over), although from the looks of it I'm taking a slightly different twist to usual.

Storme Hawk

Based on... well, apparently it's titled 'The Christmas Song', but you know it as 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire'.

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
It's just as twisted as it sounds
Poor old canons being thrown in the briar
Or being run down by the hounds
Everybody knows some violence, and some horror goes
A bit too far, won't sleep tonight
Being tortured, under flu-or-escent glow
Takes some doing to set right

It isn't Christmas - not this way
If we've to deal with stories of death and decay
Give us a break, they don't have to die!
Or all the other things we ever decry
So DAVD is offering this simple plea
To fanfic writers old or new
This Christmas time
Just this one day this year
Stop the violence - we beg you.

(The second half may be a little off - I can't conjure up the tune for some of those lines in my head, so I've had to guess it based on the words)

hS

I can't sing. Unless you want me to imitate a death metal vocalist while I play Mario party with my friends.
I'm serious.

Also, you're going to one of Mars'/Mar's/Mars's/*&$@$! moons? Are you a wizard/mutant/astronaut/batman?

My time is coming. Ring the bells.

So here goes!

So this is to the tune of "White Christmas", and it's a little ditty called "Sue Christmas"

I'm dreaming of a Sue Christmas
Just like the ones I used to fear
Where the minis hustled
And agents bustled
To stand and perhaps to jeer.

I'm dreaming of a Sue Christmas
Between the many shots of booze
May your missions go very slow
And may all your Christmases have Sues

And that's all I've got now. But hey, have a fun trip!

I probably won't do this challenge though, verse isn't my thing. I prefer prose.

The Emperor Protects!

I shall try to participate, I suppose, though Christmas carols and I don't exactly get along.

-Aila

Anyhow, I might actually participate in this, unlike me completely forgetting to do... well, anything at all with the Hallowe'en thing. Or co-writes we've tried to do. Whoops. ._.

That aside, as soon as I think of and make a good filk I'll send in a reply. :P