The PPC Posting Board - Latest posts

You do this paging thing a lot, creating a new thread just to get the attention of one specific person, sometimes regarding things that are still on the front page of the Board. Every time, I think to myself, is that really necessary? Is it so absolutely vital that people view and/or respond to your comments that just making the post isn't enough?

I can understand wanting to draw attention to something that may have fallen off the front page, or maybe something that's been missed for a few days or so, but I just looked at the time stamps of this post and the one you're referring to, and they're a minute apart. That's definitely not necessary. Especially for threads like mission plugs and the like, you can be pretty sure the people responsible are keeping an eye out for any feedback as long as the thread is visible—and creating a new thread about it brings older thread closer to falling out of view that much faster, so it's a bit self-defeating.

Give people some time to see what you're talking about before worrying about it and taking up one of the limited thread slots on the Board, yeah? Please also consider other options, such as contacting them in a reply to a recent post in an existing thread or via e-mail, Discord PM, or their wiki talk pages. The entire Board does not need an up-to-the-minute breaking news report that SOH has commented on someone's stuff, y'know?

~Neshomeh

I like that Lapis got some character development, and the interpretation of the author's note in the beginning as a sock puppet show.
Still, there's a couple of issues I have with this mission and they may be reoccurring issues in previous missions and missions some other authors have written as well.

1) Minimal description of the surroundings during the mission.

Although the badfic just states the location (I think?), the mission's surroundings aren't that much better. The mission just gives enough description to establish the surroundings and not much more than that.

Example:
Just then, the scene shifted around the agents, dropping them in another big heap. This time, they found themselves on a sandy beach, bordered by a wide selection of pastel-colored buildings.

And that was it. Even after the agents finished unpiling themselves, there was no mention of the sea breeze, no mention of the sounds of the ocean, no mention of the color of the sky, etc. Even if the location became generic because of the badfic, a description of what had become of the beach would be nice.

2) When agents are observing, it reads like an mst.

I think it's because the mission has copied-and-pasted chunks of badfic when paraphrasing would work better.

Example:
However they noticed something strange about, not only about the marking but instead of coming in pointing it was holding something.

All of them stared at it.
"Is that…" said Amethyst.
"It is." Said Pearl not knowing how to react.
"It's a white flag." Said Garnet.
"Wait… does that mean they're coming in peace?" asked Steven.
On the ship both the orange one and the lavender one stared at the white flag the ship was holding.
"This seems like a really stupid idea." Mumbled the orange one to herself.
(Then there's the reaction from the agents)

For this example, I think it would have worked better if you described the scene more like the agents are watching what the characters do. Writing the scene as just a copied passage then a response, looks to me less like the agents are actually spying on the scene and more like the agents are doing an mst, giving the feeling of not really being there even when they actually are.


I think that's all for the criticism. I know you worked very hard on the mission and I want you to know that I'm glad you had fun writing it!

Please check your permission thread: there's a sentence in the description that threw me off.

Since I'm guessing that your character bios will appear on the Wiki, I'd be remiss if I didn't correct a confusing sentence in Jack's description:

While he doesn’t have an issue improvising if the fic’s ‘verse doesn’t allow for it, he prefers to use the firearms his father gave him to get the job done.

The double negatives in the first clause are throwing me off. Are you saying that Jack wants to improvise in situations where he should be sticking to the canon's rules? That's what you have written. If I read the context correctly, you're trying to say that Jack is able to improvise when the canon doesn't allow for guns. In that case, make the connection explicit, preferably by switching the clauses:

While he prefers to use the firearms his father gave him to get the job done, he doesn’t have an issue improvising if the fic’s ‘verse doesn’t allow for them.

Hey we all know how our old stuff can be embarrassing,remind us of how far we come and sometimes make good riffing material?

This is the first video in a series where someone looks over their old sonic oc and the comic they made of them.

Here are the other two which cover a sprite comic the creator made of their oc. They also have a video of just the dramatic reading of the pencil comic without their comments. However I find it's better with the creator's reactions.

It's a fun little watch and I figured you'd guys enjoy it.

Here's your replica Rose's sword back. But with a few modifications.

It now houses the innards of a Nano Saber, which means added electric damage, as long as you charge it with EU. Apart from that, it's the same old sword.

Honestly, this mission suffers from some of the same things I've noticed recurring in Skarmory's other missions: an excess of characters, a lot of backstory-dumping, and a lot of inter-character bickering. In this case, things between Lapis and Aiko are less justified than between Lapis and Backslash, which doesn't really help things. And Violet, Ami, and Seung-Li don't contribute all that much to the mission, at least in the first half, though they do gain more personality once they split up. In all honesty, the smaller groups give the characters a lot more chance to shine. On the other hand, I'm not sure that it makes sense in mission terms; you can't really have one group handle every other chapter, because they'll miss a lot of details, and charges of poor in-fic continuity will be harder to catch.

It is nice to see Lapis get called out for her behavior; I have to agree with Sarah that she spends way too much time angsting about her background. However, I think having her overcome her personal problems via magical regeneration seems a bit... cheap. Aside from the Heroic Sacrifice, which is a bit on the cliche side, she's said she's going to change, but the progress gets made without us actually seeing the character development. It's also confusing because I can't tell if this occurs before or after "Witches Get Stitches." In terms of characterization, it seems more like the latter one came first, as this one continues the trend of Lapis learning to get past her issues and disagreements, but it'd make more sense for her speech and swearing patterns to change after regeneration. (Swearing is something people usually do instinctively, so it doesn't really make sense for someone to begin swearing in a language they've just learned, unless there's some other factor at play.) Also, I'm not really sure about Lapis regaining her waterbending powers. I mean, I know they're not necessarily overpowered, they just don't really seem like a necessary power-up. It kind of feels like she's being rewarded just for making a token effort to get better. I know the Heroic Sacrifice was supposed to be the major point, but given that she recovered fairly effortlessly, it takes away some of the impact.

I did like the other characters a lot, especially Seung-Li and Violet. I'm sorry I didn't have more positive comments. It's not a bad mission or anything, and I found the action pretty easy to follow. You also did a good job explaining the Steven Universe stuff, at least.

Response: Then why are you making your antagonists that powerful? You, as the writer, can do whatever you want with your characters. There are many ways to work around a problem like this, like a betrayal from within the tyrant's inner circle, to even just sheer dumb luck.

I've read some Heinlein, though it was a while back; I know enough to be flattered by the comparison, though!

hS

Take some Bleeprin and cookies, you'll need them.

Nice to see a newbie! Have some Bleeprin - you'll need it.

Škoda is Czech.

But how about:
The International League of True Australias?

A great collective of states of various sizes (usually really, pathetically small), scattered all over the place, from Northern Russia to Easter Island, each of which is totally certain that it is the true, one and only Australia, and that the others are all fakes.

The only factor they all really share is a total disdain they exude towards each other, and their collective title is really more of a nickname, given by all the real nations.

- You could put them anywhere you reckon's funny. The less hospitable, the more nonsensical, and the further away from the actual continent they are, the better.

We all know about Cascaida (or whatever they're calling themselves), right? The breakaway state that forms out of Western Oregon, Western Washigton, and the bits of British Columbia at the very least after a political collapse in every near-future balkanized US? Full of granola-munching hippies? Yeah, so that's a good starting point, but too dang obvious. How about?

1) The Cascadian Protectorate and/or Expanded Cascadia. So, the Cascadians got into a war with someone, and realized that they should have, like, you know, an army or something. And they kind of went a bit overboard with the military and war thing and went on a conquering spree. Either south down the west coast of California to reclaim the usual liberal strongholds of SF and so on or up through Canada. Either way, you have a country that will impose modern liberal social democracy by any means necessary. There is a non-zero chance of a military junta in this scenario. (Political structure in non-core Cascadia is something you'd have to define.) Border clashes with Deseret are optional.

2) The Cascadian Union. It turns out that hippies don't always form nice cohesive political units. (Or someone got way too hopped up on the idea of local democratic control.) You end up with a large collection of city-states that share a culture and basically do their own thing. The central government of the Union still does stuff, but it's rather Articles of Confederation-y. Central laws tend to be passed by constitutional amendment referendum, if at all.

I can also throw some slightly less crazy suggestions out for Central Europe.

1) Russia goes on an empire-forming rampage. Boring.

2) Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth is back! And maybe also includes the Czech Republic, Slovenia, and some other places. Low-key ethnic tensions remain an ongoing problem, but things are doing ok?

3) The Baltic States (Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia) join in on whatever's going on in the far north.

4) Mongol invasion 2. Russia is a bit screwed. History is repeating itself with an alliance holding back the hordes somewhere in East-Central Europe. Or b) The countries that would have formed an alliance (Poland, western Ukraine, Hungary, etc.) have developed a case of nationalism and are still doing the thing, but with more internal conflict and a tense diplomatic situation.

5) Papal States v2. If the Etruscans aren't big fans of the Pope, the Papacy has probably run for it. They might have gone and set up shop somewhere in the really Catholic bits of Europe and re-formed the Papal States there because why not? (Well, mostly to fend off other upstart countries.) Which leads to

6) Orthodox League. It's ... pretty much what it sounds like, and contains most of the land area you'd expect it to. Remaining minor theological disputes have been ... resolved. Westward military expansion aimed at spreading the true faith (tm) optional.

7) And for another lazy historical callback, just balkanize the place. There's bound to be some interestingly obscure lines to cut on. (The western border of what used to be the Russian Partition is probably a reasonably cutting point for Poland specifically. It might swallow up some other stuff)

- This has been speculation by someone who has no business engaging in it. Use at your own risk.

I read the bits of story you've already written, and I like them. They give off this Heinleiny vibe.

Well, I personally find "peace at last" to be the least-plausible of the "realistic" scenarios, so to speak. Going crazy, though? Take the Nile-Euphrates scenario, mix in a Balkanised Middle East except for Iran, and suddenly you have a Middle-Eastern Cold War between Israel and Iran, while the rest of the place is a Syria-style mess. Bonus points for Israel suffering from some sort of an insurgency — either Kahanists who find Fascist!Israel to be not racist/religious/Fascist enough, or Communists.

So my question is: in keeping with the general tenor of the map, what's the weirdest scenario you can imagine working? Personal union between the king of Jordan and a revived Israelite monarchy? A Nile-Euphrates Israel studded with random enclaves of 'The Xxxxxian Territories'? Huge mechanised armies in a Shia/Sunni all-out war, with Israel playing lynchpin-kingmaker in the middle? I'd quite like something that doesn't have Israel still surrounded by enemies, but also isn't just 'peace at last'. (Though actually, there's a pretty strong statement to be made there...)

hS

Just catching up on a few things but expect to have done some more wiki stuff by the end of the weekend.

(Like Yoda, shall I speak!)
If you want to be optimistic, you can always make Israel finally achieve peace with the Palestinians and Arabs. If you want to be pessimistic, you can have a nationalist Israel stretching from the Nile to the Euphrates because the rest of the Middle Eastern states kinda went in the way of Iraq and Syria.

Here's where I'm at now:



The Holy Prussian Confederation isn't a functioning nation - it's a mangled heap of city states sprawling across Germany. And the Vikings of Vikingar use submarines - with dragon heads carved on the prow. :D

I haven't done anything with the other continents as yet, because a) I've only had the handful of suggestions from EAIUO, and b) I don't know if I'll be going there. There is one country coming up in the narrative which isn't shown on this map, but there's a very specific reason for that... the New Netherlands will be brought up soon enough.

You can keep track of the ongoing story on my LJ. And if you've got any more ideas for the map, go ahead and throw them at me!

(All borders on the map are approximate, except for those of Imperial Liechtenstein: 'from the Danube to the Po' is too good a rallying cry to pass up.)

hS

As far as actually finishing a novel, I rather doubt that. But I think I will take time to at least put some work towards the novel I've been working on for what feels like a decade. And maybe I'll even get a rough outline of the RPG I want to release at approximately the same time I finally get that thing published.

1. Czarist Russia Reborn. The last surviving Romanov Pretenders finally managed to win back Russia and are in the process of reclaiming the lost imperial boarders. I would imagine they rulers would still be somewhat lavish given they are still royalty, but would be far more spartan given them trying to prevent another revolution.
   
   2. Acadiana. If you're splitting up the US why not have those pesky Louisianans split off. After all they already have their different legal system, why not make it official?
   
   3. Vikings. Based out of Iceland and the Faroe Islands, and with Iceland you could even take the approximately .8% population that practices Germanic Neopaganism and make that the dominate group, and voila, true vikings.
   
   4. Unified Korean Empire. North and South Korea reunite, and offer a front to stand against a strong China in East Asia, smaller nations join with the Unified Korea to stand against China. Or alternatively....
   
   5. A Resurgent Japanese Empire, for essentially the same reasons. You could take it a step further and put together a new Japanese Shogunate.
   
   6. 5 Nations. Native Americans decide that it is time to reclaim some of their lost culture and band together concentrating around the New York/Canadian Border