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My parents have videos of me doing Christmas plays before I started school (ie, sometime before summer 1990); I think they were filmed by the playgroup and either sold or handed out to parents. That's the sort of thing I was thinking of.

Obviously you probably wouldn't have been doing a Nativity play, but surely the ritual of small children making fools of themselves on stage while their parents coo is universal?

hS

Androia: Huh, that was scary. A Suvian on rollerblades, and that big-eyed anime girl from the last games, probably seeking revenge. I am so glad I got away. At least it was nice to see that Hieronymus does well.

Hieronymus: Huh, that was scary. No, Suvians on rollerblades are just ridiculous. I didn't intent to encounter Androia in this game.

Rachel: Aw, man. I can't believe I'm out already! I thought that Time Lord and I were gonna come out on top in that fight, but Pokemon are just so fast! And you, the powers and all that too. Maaaaan. Guess I'm just gonna have to watch how this plays out from my RC. Good luck, everyone still in it!

James: I wasn't sure about making camp with Luxury. Not after all the stuff I've heard about her, anyway. I don't mind me some personal company from time to time, don't get me wrong, but this hardly seems like the best occasion for it.

But then we got ambushed while setting up the tents. Turns out the lady's got some combat skill. I suppose it shouldn't be that much of a surprise, considering how long she's been an agent for. But still, 'tween the two of us, we sent those folks running!

I turned down Luxury's offer to celebrate. Like I said, hardly seems like the best occasion for it.

Gremlin: Ow… ow… OW F*****G OW! Gah, note to self: if you're going try hiding in an Escher Room, watch where you put your feet. I fell fifteen feet sideways to the floor! Ow… I hope the holographic version of Medical is somewhere around here.

Holo-Acacia: I really wanted that hatchet.

I mean in regards to Acy's radiation reaction. Like, not at all. So I don't think it was me.

Tacitus

Well, let's see you try to operate a damaged RA with your bare paws.

Ajax: Wait, that happened? I mean, I know I look the part but come on!

Nickul: Mr. Tomash, I do hope you realize that I'm gonna be coming after you in place of one of my friends. He does not respect individuals killing children.

Matthew (On the phone): GO GET HIM NICKUL!!!

Levy: That Luxuary's manner of defense is... weird

Yes, it was at the same time, and, hm. There probably aren't any videos — video recording wasn't such a common thing in the early nineties — but there are probably photos somewhere.

Falchion: Whew, thank heavens I ditched Brave Bird so long ago and learned Rock Slide instead! The Notary was a challenge, obviously, but who knew Rachel was weak to throwing a stone sword without STAB? What a turnaround! Anyway, Zeb and I really should pair up more often. Us Pokemon gotta stick together, after all, and he's an awesome fighter, really. I just hope we won't have to kill each other sometime soon, haha...

Whitney: Derik was - no, IS a worthy opponent. It was my fault for going overboard with the Beam Sword or whatever equivalent they have here in this arena, and I apologize to him for it. I just hope that if either of us dies, we do so with dignity.

Was that at the same time? If so, the most important question: are there photos? Videos? Did you do high-pitched and badly-acted seasonal plays together?

Enquiring nosy minds want to know.

Even if not, it's still hilariously cool.

hS

Desdendelle: "Guess I gotta get some upgrades. Wasn't fast enough."
Amris: "Who wants to be the next art project? The Zorua, maybe...?"
The Librarian: "I was not actually trying to camouflage myself. I am not even interested in winning. Idiot."

Ah, but first... Raise the Spoiler Wall!


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1), 2), and 3) The titles of the paragraphs referencing the three Star Wars film.

4) Comics reference for Manga Roll, and Cap.

5) Pink Elephants on Parade for sammiches.

6) Warframe quotes in the "Crouching Des, Hidden Dendelle" photo.

(is the sound a meatroll makes)

Seriously, this idea has got me to thinking. What other fictional 'verse euphemisms can we think of? What are they like in other languages? For instance, in Tau'sia a homebrew euphemism would be ran'monat'sio; the word ran means either "heart" or "spirit", depending on context, and the rest comes from the compound word co'monat'sio, which means to act selfishly or to put one's own desires above the Greater Good (and my lexicon informs me that it implies licentiousness and decadence). Thus, ran'monat'sio means to act on the desires of one's heart... alone.

Alas, the Tau'sia word for tissue paper presently eludes me. =]

Sergio:

"Why I kept going around with Amris, you say? Exactly because I don't like him. Better keep him where I can see him. And, Kyaris, of course I don't know very well how to use swords. I use guns"

"So, yeah, that Peregrin dude got Des too, so he's on my target list. Just added Tomash on that one, too, I was starting to like that Keiko girl."

"... Wait, what? You're saying that girl coming from the future is my daughter...? Tomash, I'm coming for you."

Nikki:

"I think I might've seen that woman who got me out last time? I don't know, and sure I wasn't going for payback since there was this dude who looked like he was beign Sued, so I ran. Getting out on day one again would've been just too embarassing."

"Yes, Keiko got eliminated today. A shame, she looked such like a nice girl... Eeeeh? She's my daughter? Well... I guess day-one eliminations run in the family? Still, I'm going to give that Tomash a beating when I see him. What he did is very nasty."

Keiko:

"So... Should've thought about that one better. Sure, I hate people ordering me around, especially if they're complete strangers, but I would've have had to face the two he wanted me to kill anyways so I should've just played along."

"So, on my first PPC HQ Hunger Games I got out on day one and placed... forty-fifth? Heh, that's exactly what Mom did on her first one, too!"

"... You told her and Dad that I'm their daughter? Why'd you do that? Now they're both going to go on homicidial rage-"

"That was your very intention? I'm... not sure it was a good idea, you know? Though I admit that I'm going to appreciate if they avenge me."

Marina: What? You expected senseless wandering across this crazy mess so I stumble upon someone of something killing me?

Why the hell should I do that when I can wait for people to shoot in one place? Besides, disguise or not, I'm not testing this holographic system too much. My pay is already low enough .

(They get easier when there's less of my people left.)

District Kaitlyn

The Canon Librarian: "Can't find my books. Where are they?"

Kaitlyn: "Oh come on! Oh, well, if I have to go, at least I went to something cute. ^_^ Wasn't that fiery fox thing the Doktor's partner? I think she was! Cool."

Steve Dimond: "So this Levy girl said it would be a good idea to make a show of force, and storm the camp we found in the Courtyard. Plus, y'know, it was Lux's camp, so it wasn't like she was going to defend it very well? Yeah, I think I might have completely misunderstood Luxury. At least I made it out alive."

Luxury: "Hee! This is fun!"

District Eagle Hawk

Kyaris: "My team: a bouncy time traveller, a sadistic flying robot, and an increasingly nervous retired human who barely seems to remember what a sword is. Oh, and me, your friendly resident diminutive hydra. All in all, I think we've got a solid group here - okay, we didn't find anyone today, but there's always tonight..."

District Sergio Turbo

Makes-Things: "The restrictions on players' abilities seem to be holding. I watched Agent Webb closely for any signs of enhanced speed, but she seems closely matched to my control specimen, 'VJ'. Unfortunately I don't seem to have any records of Agent Apollo, but he isn't coming across as significantly above average. Excellent stuff."

hS

Gabrielle turning Kaitlyn into jelly—a result of Superpower, perhaps?

Zeb: "Aw man, Falchion is really cool and awesome and he's such a good teammate! I really hope we're able to stay together for the rest of the games. And his feathers are really shiny. Did you notice how shiny his feathers are? Ooh, Aviator, if you're watching: I got the Notary for you! Are you proud of me? Notary, if you're watching: that's for terrorizing my partner at the last Council meeting, you big old meanie!"

Charlotte: "Another day, another load of nothing. I'm starting to feel hungry. Are my eyes going black yet? Can I eat the holo-contestants? Is that even allowed? Are we done yet?"

("Great bleepka bar in the sky" made me legitimately laugh out loud, by the way.)

From a hidden holo-deck, high in the mountains of New Caledonia… the PPC's ONLY TV station broadcast live to your console… this… is NTV.

The guns have sounded. Boom… boom… boom. Ten shots. Three of those fell during the Bloodbath - Alice, Selene, Ecks. The other seven… let's take a look.

Huh. That was almost dramatic.

So was this first day in the Arena (see what I did there?). If our tributes expected to breeze through the games just because they were on familiar territory, they were very much out of luck. Agent Gremlin looks to have broken a rib in that fall, and Ajax was forced to resort to acting to fend off an attack - always a terrifying thought.

Seriously, that's the part that terrified you? Not Tomash?

All right, yes: when Tomash tried to turn Keiko's life into a murderous logic puzzle, we were glued to our seats. And then when he killed her after she refused to take part - nasty. Almost as nasty as Gall throttling Kelly from behind.

I would say nastier.

Fine: almost as nasty as Whitney slicing Derik's leg off and then leaving him there?

No, because she used a lightsaber; it cauterised, so he'll be fine.

Except with only one leg.

Yes. So?

Hm. Well, at least he's doing better than Desdendelle, who took Peregrin's Killing Curse right in the face. Or Kaitlyn, who… well, honestly, we're not even sure what Gabrielle did to her, but she's definitely out of the games.

There were non-lethal fights, too: Luxury and James drove Levy and Steve away from their campsite without anyone dying, and our three hunter teams - VJ, Apollo, Makes-Things, and Charlotte on one hand, Hop, Amris, Sergio, and Kyaris on the other, and the magical team of Decima, William, and Nurse Mirrad on the third - didn't find anyone to kill.

How many hands do you have? Oh, who cares? Let's talk about Pokemon! Could there be a more natural team than Zeb and Falchion in this arena? I think the Notary and Rachel Calendar would agree that there can't!

Except they don't agree to anything. Because they're dead. Also, we have more than two Pokemon in there, you know.

Not as many as we did, not after Tacitus', ah, portal blunder.

And speaking of blunders: to whoever is sending in those hatchets. Seriously. This needs to stop. We banned them after Season 2. We've taken hologram!Acacia's away from her; Champion Lola wouldn't let go of hers, which is irritating, but we can't really randomly kill the reigning champion.

I still say we can.

And when you're in charge, you can make that decision. But right now, this is my show, and I say we can't.

Spoilsport.

Hatchets are banned. We don't want to see any more in the arena. Thank you.

Join us after the break for interviews with all our surviving and outgoing tributes. And after that - we'll see you next de-

You weren't going to do that, either.

You are such a miseryguts.

---

Consider the plight of the agent who falls in the line of duty. That's right - none. They're fine, because they've already gone on to the great bleepka bar in the sky. But what about the ones they leave behind? Trapped in a locked Response Centre, ignored by the rest of the PPC, the poor minis wait patiently for their friends who will never return.

You can help. For as little as $2/AM$0.05/4 latinum strips per week, you can feed and house an abandoned mini, somewhere in HQ. They may not thank you, but we will.

And remember - mind your spelling.

---

As always, the full transcript is on the doc. I was really hoping Kaitlyn would stay in a bit longer - oh well!

hS

Quote from Ford Prefect, in Chapter 3 of Life, the Universe, and Everything. I have no idea what it means, but it sounds very froody.

--Key

Chris, Ami, Miguel, and Violet get all their buttons pushed, some more obviously than others, by another hair-pulling badfic. Glad I got this in a workable state.

Questions? Comments? Want one of my prizes and/or a mini-Balrog or mini-Gohma?

You fool! You've distracted me!

Grades... dropping...
Knowledge... leaving...
Notes... disintegrating...

Future societal worth... lowering...

Shards and shells, what have you just done?

hS