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Marina: So they decided the arena would be HQ... I cannot tell if they're sarcastic or if it's the perfect Hunger Games arena.

It also seems the Cafeteria is so horrible people flee merely after seeing that. Well, I only got a bottle of glitter, but after being taken out the first time by poisoning, I'm sure I can find some use for that stuff...

We've just started up work for an art project concerning a fanmade-slash-nonexistent Kirby game in the vein of Return to Dreamland and Planet Robobot, and we're planning to create at least conceptual art and a rundown of the hypothetical gameplay. We would like your general feedback as to how to make it as unique and interesting as the Kirby games in canon!

If you're interested in contributing ideas, just shoot either of us an e-mail, and we'll gladly pitch our ideas to you!

Sergio:

"I don't know why exactly I stopped to chat with these two - I think they were actually both trying to asses how much of a threat I was, so I went for my best "rusty retired dude" impression. Amris tunred out to be just as creepy as Corolla told me, while I finally managed to meet that Tacitus dude, who kept nagging me about how this 'Madam' woman was interested in me and wishing me good luck. Sorry, not falling for those nets of favours."

Nikki:

"We're in HQ this time? The confusion kinda reminds me of the Blackout. Of course, I ran away. It would've really been embarassing if I got myself killed faster than the other time..."

Keiko: "It's a shame that guy managed to get the rollerblades - while I prefer skateboards, Mom taught me how to use them so they would've been a good way to move around faster. I tried to chase him, but I don't know what I would've done if I did - that dude had defeated Dad in the qualifiers, so taking him out would've helped us both, but at the same time he had spared Dad after defeating him so it wouldn't have been very nice..."


P.S. Do you plan on doing a loser's bracket for the unqualified, so they get a ranking too?

Charlotte: "I know, I know, I could probably win this whole thing easily if I was my normal self, but being physically immune to almost every type of damage and being able to run two hundred miles an hour is just a teensie bit unfair in these games. So, bow it was, even though I really would've preferred to get an axe or something." *humphs*

Zeb: "Well, so far, it looks like staying out of trouble is working just fine for me. Hope I can keep it up for a few more days."

(Yay, at least these two made it another day.)

From a hidden holo-deck, high in the mountains of New Caledonia… the PPC's ONLY TV station broadcast live to your console… this… is NTV.

Hello! And welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games, where enthusiasm… is catching!

You said you weren't going to do the silly misquotes any more.

I lied. As we speak, our tributes are flooding out across the holographic arena, seeking shelter, supplies, or perhaps subjects for their violent aspirations.

I thought you were going with 'targets'.

Yes, but then I noticed the alliteration, and I just couldn't stop.

You should have.

We say 'the tributes'... but not all of them. Three of the hopeful contestants never left the Cornucopia - or should I say, the Cafeteria!

Yes, you can see the surprise and shock in their faces when you watch them portal in to… the HQ cafeteria! Was that disorientation the reason so many of them ran away? Or was that always the plan - to flee from the expected massacre.

Those who stayed got their pick of the supplies we laid on. Our reigning champion, Lola McCandless, landed herself a nice flamethrower. Falchion grabbed a sword in his talons, though what a Sword Bird needs with one we're not really sure.

Nor do we know why Marina thought the most valuable find was a bottle of glitter - or, for that matter, why Ajax's rollerblades were such a great find that Michael and Keiko both went after him!

At least Levy got good use out of her lethal-looking banana, driving off Peregrin's intended attack. Elsewhere, Whitney and Charlotte's fight over that gorgeous energy bow somehow didn't end in a fatality!

Though there were plenty of those to go around. The Librarian's torching of Selene - Kaitlyn and Androia's masterful teamup on Ecks - and of course whatever happened to Alice the horse.

We've gone over the footage, and we can't figure out who brought her down, though we do know that Hieronymus was the one to finish her off. We're sending in drones to interview the tributes now - maybe one of them can shed some light.

It wasn't all violence, of course - there was also forward planning to be done. The teamups of Rachel, Decima, Will, and Steve, and Tomash, Luxury, Nickul, and Derik, look a little tenuous, but they got them out of the Cafeteria, and that's what counts!

Unless your name happens to be Tacitus, Amris, or Sergio, in which case what counts is a nice conversation.

Yeah, that was weird. Okay! That's all we spotted on the tapes. Remember: all of this is holographic, however realistic the simulation of HQ may be. We'll be back after the break with brief interviews from the tributes-

Or those we can talk to without giving their positions away.

Until then, remember: this has been Nutmeg TV, and this… is the Hunger Games.

---

You may think that borrowing books is somehow 'good'. That a library exist to 'serve' you. That I 'want' you to come and visit me.

You're mistaken. But, unfortunately, the Flowers insist I let you read my books occasionally.

So when you really can't find any other way to get hold of one, I suppose you can come to the Canon Library. Just don't touch anything while you're here.

---

Full transcript is available on the doc, down towards the bottom. We had three deaths, and our first Boarder elimination - sorry, Data Junkie. I did seriously consider rerunning to try and get you at least into Day 1, but given that I'd also be saving my own agent by doing that, I figured I'd stick with the first run.

Interviews from everyone are welcome - they've been great fun to read so far! And if you've not got them up for the first round, that's still open too!

This is fu-un...!

hS

Barid - Well dat didn't last long. I don't know what dat girl was tinkin', but none'a my stuff was gonna help her. It was all potion makin' plants.

Decima - Grab explosives? Check. Fresh water? Check. Tripping balls to the finish line? Double check. Bring on the games.

Nothing from the Notary?

hS

Elms: Okay, note to self, the Cornucopia is bad. Even if the knives are really shiny and right there, do not go for them. You could get caught in a fireball and die before the Games even start. That was way too close. Fortunately, Zeb was nice enough to help me out with the burns. I hope he did okay afterward, I like the little guy. Not that I won't kick his butt in the arena if I have to, but hey, nothing personal.

The gas was just mean. Seriously, though, if you can't tell a can-can line of hobgoblins in tutus is a drug hallucination, you haven't lived enough yet.

Mirrad: In Minbari culture, the highest honor is to serve. I was pleased to share with the others in the beginning, and also to assist Makes-Things in testing the simulation as we'd agreed. Of course, I never understood "assisting" to go so far as to mean throwing the qualifier. *smiles serenely*

I found the experience of the hallucinogen quite enlightening. I saw what appeared to be a road of silver light with lovely rainbow dancers beckoning me to follow. It was a river, and if I had gone with them I would have drowned, but it was beautiful. The mind is fascinating in its ability to attempt to make sense out of nonsense.

I look forward to honing my skills in the main event.

Derik: Well, here I am again. After the last time I swore I'd never do it again, but Gall wouldn't let up until I'd agreed to join with her. *sigh* I admit her plan of laying low for the qualifiers went well. ... The scream was nothing. Just a dream.

Gall: Oh yeah, I'm back! Don't be fooled by what you saw here. I wasn't gonna waste my energy in a stupid qualifier, so me and Derik just stuck together and let everyone else fight it out. I even gave my partner those dumb supplies to help out what's-her-face. I didn't need them, and maybe it will make her underestimate us in the real arena. *grin* Watch out, people. Gall is coming for you!

(( I thought about having Derik's scream be a plot to lure in the unwary, but nobody was out hunting or anything. Oh well. Nightmare it is! ))

~Neshomeh

Hip: "So... That happened. First time in the Games and I'm already out. Then again, nothing I could do, I mean that explosion was just INSANE! Well, hopefully others will get far. If I have to pick, I'd say VJ is going to get the furthest, if not win."

Hop: "Hey, I'm still in! That's wicked, though I wish Hip was still with me. Hope you'll cheer for me, sweetie!"

Will: "Fine an' dandy. I could get used to smackin' folks on the head."

VJ: "Giving me a bow and arrows is like spilling water on a Gremlin! There's no way I lose now!"

Sarah is going to be SOOOOO peeved that she didn't even make it past the first qualifier. She was looking forward to a hero's path of glory, geez!

I'd write up responses from my agents, but my household is going through a very bad situation at the moment, and I may not be able to see it resolved until tomorrow. Sorry, everyone! :(

Field Commander Lola McCandless: Well, the champ is back in town, and frankly I'm not sure it was a good idea. I mean, learning everyone's capabilities is always a good idea, but I'm worried about how much insane bloodlust will come into play given that this is only a holodeck simulation and everyone knows it. I've been trying to fight how I normally would, but that just means ambush tactics - and since I don't know the surroundings well, I managed to balls it up completely when that woman blundered into my trap.

Gabrielle: ... I blew up my therapist. Um. With, um. With a landmine. I, uh, I think that's gonna come up in our next session.

Doctor Peep, FicPsych: [slightly dazed] Home in a bin bag, I'm going home in a biiiiiin bag... eeble...

Alice: *telepathic horse noises*

...

How the poxy hell am I meant to do her interviews? I've barely even heard of her before today!

Rachel: I was super excited to get picked for the Games this time! I watched all of the footage of the last Games to get an idea of what was going on—plus, you know, to get psyched! It's always important to get positive before taking something like this on.

I got a bunch of useful gear from the Cornucopia and was feeling really good and then WHOA, I got attacked! And by the defending champion too! Not gonna lie, but I was kinda scared right then. I mean, she's a trained soldier and I'm definitely not. But I escaped! I was dodging around trees and rocks, and even ran through a stream at one point! That was pretty awesome.

Then I started hallucinating! There were all these weird pinkish-green bugs with human faces flying at me, and some of them were dancing! I think it might have been the Charleston. And then—hey, where are you going? Is the interview over?

James: That went all right, I suppose. Managed to pick up a bit of disinfectant from the Cornucopia before all the explosions went off. Then, I pretty just spent the rest of the match trying to be a might proactive. Hunting for other folks and that. Never found any one, but I did survive. Let's hope the real thing goes as smooth as this one did.

Gremlin: I decided beforehand that, since this was just the qualifier, I wasn't gonna make too much trouble. Don't fight; just survive. That's why skipped the Cornucopia in favor of just hunting, and why I made that agreement with Kelly to alternate our sleeping cycles. Getting sent clean water was a nice bonus. Pretty sure I know who that was from, even though the sponsors are always "unknown." She winks at the camera. Thanks, babe.

Laura: God. D****t. Eliminated already! Ugh. Well, at least I went out in a pretty hardcore way. Getting stabbed multiple times by a psychic Flower armed with sais? Better than falling in a hole LIKE LAST TIME.

Androia: Yes, we are in again. I still have to prove that I can survive more than one day. After all, I am supposed to be the fighter in this team, and the person who knows how to heal herself. And Hieronymus needs the exercise. He says that running in circles and lifting weights are senseless actions, so adding an adventurous aspect may help. The man just does not move enough. I watched that in our last mission. What? Yes, nearly being strangled by a weed was not a good start. Thank you, Richard, for breaking his stalk.

Hieronymus: Gah, fighting holographic squirrels and agents wielding holographic weapons is senseless, too. Where’s the adventure when there are no consequences? I only concurred to get out of our arr zee. I’m going to find a quiet place where Androia can’t talk my ear off, and just sit the games out. If it doesn’t work, I’ll be out and she’ll still be in, and that’s just as well. Why I didn’t try to sit out the Qualifier? Well, I guess no Agent can say "no" to Jay Thorntree. I’ve no idea what she wanted with the Librarian, though, and they abandoned me before I found out why she’d said she needed a shovel.

HG

Including Kaitlyn's candidates, and the NPCs.

The Losers

Dafydd: "Well, that was... disappointing. Do you know, I think I was the first person to actually die in the entire tournament? Oh, well, there's always next year."

Morgan: "Okay, so what happened is this: I figured my gun-loving self wasn't much use in a forest, so I tried to 'kill' myself and holo-regenerate into someone good with, say, a sword - well, there's a first time for everything, right? But, uh... apparently holograms don't regenerate. I'll remember that next time."

Constance: "I TOLD Dafydd this was a bad idea... I'm quite offended by being taken for a bear, of all things. Is that a comment on my hair? Agent Michael had better hope he stays in the arena a long time, that's all I'm saying..."

Captain Dandy: Once I heard the Tiger Lily was participating again, I had to take part - for the honour of the Department, you know? But I suppose it wasn't to be. I think the lesson to take away from this is a positive one - our agents will defend each other even against authority figures! I... think that's a good thing.

The Tiger Lily: Hmph. Whose idea was this, anyway?

The Qualifiers

The Canon Librarian: "No comment. Do I have time to read?"

Kaitlyn: "That was fun! I mean, okay, I didn't get to do much, and someone stole all my stuff, but I'm super psyched for the proper Games! I'm gonna try and find someone friendly to team up with, it worked really well last time..."

Steve Dimond: "I'm honestly not that sure why I'm here. But my sisters demanded I sign up, and, well... So next time I'm going to try and get a weapon again, it's, y'know, a good idea...? Don't know after that."

Selene: "Oh. Dafydd's already out? ... okay. I guess I'll see if that hydra wants to team up again."

Kyaris: "Wow. I mean, wow. Why've I never heard about this before? Great stuff. Hope I do well."

Makes-Things: "Look, I'm not here because I want to play. I'm just making sure the holodeck's working safely. And yes, that includes attacking Nurse Mirrad - how else am I going to test it properly?"

Alice the telepathic horse disdained to give an interview. Agent Luxury gave one, but the broadcasters refuse to show it.

hS

You'll note that I also had Mirrad down as female, and he's actually mentioned on the Wiki, so I could even have checked.

I don't intend to put this 'there is a minor error in the transcript (not even the broadcast!)' "interview" into the doc. You can write another if you want it included.

hS

Zee: "Ecks, Ecks calm down"
Ecks: "No I fragging will not! I'm a woman! What's this drek?"
Zee: "The holodeck likely malfunctioned. At least you did not die in the first round, like myself."
Ecks: "Frag off. I'm gonna go sulk until the next round."

Harris

WHAT? CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION AGAIN, PLEASE? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THIS RINGING!

...HOW I FEEL ABOUT PIEROGIS? WELL, IT'S LIKE A DUMPLING, BUT EUROPEAN. WAIT, DID YOU SAY 'PERFORMANCE'? OH, SORRY! IS IT JUST ME OR IS THE RINGING GETTING LOUDER? CAN SOMEONE TURN IT OFF, PLEASE?

ANYWAY, IT WAS KINDA EMBARRASSING TO DIE LIKE THAT. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE TRAP-SETTER, THOUGH— NICELY PLAYED.

ALSO, CAN I GET AN EAR DOCTOR OR SOMETHING? I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE TINNITUS.

[He walks away from the camera, sticking a pinky finger into his left ear.]

MAWP. MAWP!


Tacitus

It appears my inept colleague died due to a booby trap. He doesn't deserve to wear the sage frond— not after failing to do a spot check and practically walking into a grenade.

I'm a little rusty combat-wise but I still have a little going for me: I chased after this girl and gave her a thrashing. She escaped, but I think that I've managed to scrape a little bit more experience from that battle. Just a little bit more now...

I'm looking forward to the main event. This qualifier was a nice little warm-up; let's see what my team can do. I look forward to stabbing them in the back once they've outlived their usefulness.

And they're back, and ready to go?!

My gift upon you is: a 't.'
So that you can become jetbboy - the world's first Mars-bound bboy.
Or, alternately, jebbtoy.
Or jtebboy.

Welcome back! Can't wait to see those agents!

is the main Hani swear from the Chanur novels, which is "[gods] rot [x]". For example, "Gods rot the internet in this building.", which feels like the right thing to say when it takes five minutes to connect to campus wifi. As with many swearwords, it's short and grammatically versatile, with derivatives ranging from "gods!" to "gods-rotted".

From the same books, "gods-be" is probably a euphemism for something, and works OK for general-purpose frustration.

(And there's the tangential question of why any of these expressions might be swearwords. Everyone who's perspective we see thinks it's too obvious to mention.)

Tomash: "At first, I wasn't too thrilled at getting dragged into this thing, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. That was a pretty lucky grenade toss at the beginning. I was just trying to distract people so I could grab some food and run for it. Falling into the water while trying to fish wasn't fun, but I get the feeling that will end up on a 'funniest moments' compilation."

"My plans for the main event are to join a group and hope I can last a few days before the inevitable betrayal. Maybe I'll get to know some new people."

Peregrin: "There were a few moments during the night where I wasn't sure if joining these Games had been a good decision. I'd like to think I did reasonably well overall, though. If nothing else, the second day's events will certainly serve as a clear example of why the initialization elements of packaged explosives should not be used as ropes while attached to the package. I must find more of that material after the event. It might be useful for assassinations at a distance if arranged carefully ..."

Peregrin was lost in thought for a moment.

"On, right, the Games. I'd like to thank Mr. Gray, the, ah, Pilot, I think, and ..., er, everyone else for their help with gathering supplies, as well as my sponsor, whoever they were. My plans for the main event are to get a ranged weapon I know how to use and hide. I am also considering going away from the Cornucopia initially, since it seems to attract a large battle, and returning later. That would be less risky, but could be significantly less rewarding. It's an interesting tradeoff, you know. A good friend of mine worked on a more general version of that problem several years ago, but didn't make much progress..."

Interviewer: "Thank you for your time."

The protest ended because one of the staff members, who was banned from attending and had a restraining order keeping him from coming within 1000 feet of any of the hotels but who also had an iron-clad contract meaning that as long as the con was being held he would get a cut of the profits, finally died. Other than that you're mostly correct.