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Prepare your brain as you would for your monthly vivisection.

Thank God no-one here does any of those, eh?
Why, anyone who does those must be really... bad!
Phew, good thing we've none of those buggers, am I right?
Eh-heh! Eh-heh!

Being a prick to your characters is the foundation of good writing. Kill your darlings an' all that. Besides, stuff can be dark as well as funny; just remember to balance everything out.

I know you don't like her very much, or at least you never used to, but the Notary is a pretty good example of this. She's a horrible, appalling, atrocious person. We've also briefly seen one of her past regenerations that indicated she wasn't always like that; something happened to make her that way. I just haven't got round to telling people what it is yet. She does have an arc revolving around going to a pretty dark place and coming out better for it, and it'll take a while to get there but that's why I'm writing the character.

To be honest with you, mate, I tend to view the actual mission portion of a PPC mission as something of an ancillary concern. We're here to laugh at the badfic, yeah, but we end up staying for the characters. We want to see their reactions to it, in a setting that allows them to do this. If we didn't, we'd be writing MST3K-style sporkings like every other collection of snarky, snobbish pseudo-comedians on the Internet. The characters and their stories are important, so if you've got a story for them, tell it. It'll be interesting! =]

I have only one character arc planned at this point in time. I'm reluctant to initiate it, though, because it basically revolves around me being a prick to one of my characters and thus might end up being somewhat dark.

Eventually, I'm going to run out of off-the-cuff stories to tell with Valon, Kala and Stephanie. Their arcs are concluded, and I'm not sure if there even are any more stories I could tell with them, within the context of the PPC anyway.

Unite against a common foe, specifically the one making them fight because they've got a vested interest in them being bogged down for a bit while trying and incapacitate each other. It's the sort of thing that fits both their characters.

That it results in both Superman and the Doctor coming after fanboyish internet lardovores who derive vicarious satisfaction from "their guy" beating up someone else's in what amounts to a fictional character cockfighting ring is merely a side benefit. =]

Consider a sitcom. A classic sitcom, like Seinfeld or It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia or Red Dwarf. Those shows adhered to a formula, but they worked because while the setup for a show was formulaic, the character interaction and arcs kept the whole thing moving. Everyone might have stayed fairly similar, but they evolved over time. That's what good PPC writing tries to achieve. Sure, you can do distinct breaks from the formula - I've got a few projects like that on the boil myself, including one almost entirely done in haiku - but it's not necessarily what people are here for. There's nothing inherently wrong with having a formula, if that formula consistently results in high-quality writing. I don't think it's something that you need to be afraid of. =]

So then.

Not too long ago, I broke a record: Valon Vance and Kala Jeng now have the most missions in the Department of Floaters.

It was a nice feeling, but something's been bothering me since that mission's release.

See, I've tried to break formula a few times in the past; every single time, I got shouted down by the community and had to scrap the ideas completely. After all of that, I've been too scared to stray from the PPC formula.

But now that I have over twenty PPC stories, I'm really concerned about something.

Namely, getting stale.

Missions are, at their core, the same thing over and over again, and you can only vary your jokes so much. Eventually, you'll exhaust everything that the formula lets you do, and you're left with the basic "follow, charge, kill/exorcize/disentangle" process.

I'm too afraid of backlash to try anything new, but at the same time, if I keep things the same, I'll bore my readers... All five of them. (I don't kid myself, I can count the number of PPCers who actually follow my stories on one hand.)

This is a conundrum I don't know how to deal with, because I only see three bad options: try something new and have everyone hate it, keep things the same and bore everyone, or stop writing altogether.

I asked because I don't know anybody's Tumblr handles (because I don't use Tumblr).

Aside from the stuff I said in reply to Suvian, I've another argument for "quality writing is objective", but first I'd like to know, do you think there is an objective thing(s)? If so, can you please provide an example?

Aside from that: you are aware that "can pass a third grade spell-check" is also linguistic prescriptivism, right? You can't eat the cake and leave it whole. Either you do away with standardisation completely (in which case, kajagul greep smarks) or you admit that linguistic prescriptivism is required for a language to be a method of communication.

I'm not a relativist. I assume (and you have to either assume this or not — it's not provable) that "truth" is objective and the same for all subjects. That's why I can say stuff like "quality has an objective facet". "Quality" is distinct from "taste"; for (fiction) writing, it includes things such as "correct SPaG", "does not break suspension of disbelief" and "within reason, keeps characters in-character".
This is distinct from "taste" — "I like this", "I don't like this". A possible reason for either is "quality", but it's not the only reason; you can acknowledge that something is bad (ie of poor quality) but still like it (like the way people enjoy The Room).

As to the whole "opinion" thing — "You shouldn't write X because it's bad" is a valid opinion and something people should hear, especially if their writing is in the public space where others can see it; saying that you should keep such opinions to yourself is akin to telling people not to tell their neighbours not to leave garbage on the sidewalk. Of course, in the interest of good etiquette, you should do so in a polite way.
Saying that something is badly written and making fun of it among your own circle of friends isn't "Fandom Police". "Fandom Police" is harassing artists who draw fanart the way you don't like to the point they try to commit suicide. Did any PPCer ever go to a Suethor and say, "you should stop writing fanfic"? No. Some PPCers do try to leave constructive criticism (to varying degrees of success) but going on and telling people to not write if they can't not write badfic is not what the PPC does. You can't tell people what to think or what to say; you can voice your displeasure yes, explain why things are bad yes, call law enforcement if the situation necessitates it, but you as a random person cannot and should not tell other people what to do.

And one last point: since you're a relativist, why are you even bothering other people by saying that your opinion has any merit? Theirs have just as much.

Hi all! I'm looking for a beta reader for my first attempt at an actual fanfic in years. What with the release of the Cursed Child and all, I thought it was high time to revisit the Potterverse. It's a short one-shot, currently unnamed. The story follows some of Neville's experiences in the early part of his seventh year.

I know that I'm at least one. And you, with me, would make at least two, so we're off to a good start.

I don't know much about DW, but which Doctor, exactly? And why would they fight? I think it would either end with Superman smashing the TARDIS, or The Doctor traveling through time to get a piece of kryptonite. Otherwise, they would probably be at it until one of them either dies of old age, or passes into the public domain

The Doctor can't beat classic Supes, short of killing him, which he wouldn't do, and while Superman can physically overpower the Doctor, he wouldn't because there's no reason to beat up an unassuming British fellow in a coat.

I occasionally like to entertain myself by coming up with battles between fictional characters. And usually it is a match against Superman. Why Superman? Well I just don't much care for him, so I like to see if anyone can beat him. Now usually I try to match Superman power for power. But this time I tried to do something a little bit different. And now I want to poll the community and see what they say.

So with out further stalling here is the match up.

Superman vs. The Doctor

The important information. Superman has his classic characterization. The Boy Scout. Truth, Justice, and the American Way. All that type of stuff. The important thing to note about this Superman is that he has all of his moral fetters in place.

On to the Doctor. The Doctor gets both his sonic screwdriver and TARDIS. I figure that's the fairest way to do it.

As for me, I give this one the Doctor. Access to the TARDIS is what gives him the edge.

I am curious as to what you all think about that match up. Also if you all come up with other possible options to fight the Man of Steel, feel free to post them to. Or if you just have any general Who Would Win in a Fight match ups.

Aside from what your cohort pointed out about VixenMage's post and the issues with refusing the subjective nature of quality (your response to which, by the way, is incredibly rude), you are right. People are entitled to their opinions yes, but there are two main issues with what you're saying. Firstly, what Midnight Starr proposed wasn't voicing an opinion, it was telling people what they're allowed to do, like some kind of fandom police, which you claim you're not. Secondly, if your opinion is that someone should not be writing, maybe, in the interest of good etiquette, you should probably keep it to yourself.

I was a pretty intense Hetalia fan for a couple years and I still have a huge soft spot for it. I never finished the anime, though; I'm more of a manga person. Were you ever part of the fandom? Do you have a favorite or least favorite fan theory? Generally, what are your favorite things about the show?

-- Key is reading Scandinavia and the World right now, and feels like a traitor.

They did. The second link in their post. "Observations & Frustrations" is the title of VM's blog.

Also, re: point 1, I'm not sure quality writing is objective? People disagree on what makes good writing all the time, and trying to enforce a certain set of rules for "proper English" (beyond "can pass a third grade spelling level) seems to fall under the realm of linguistic prescriptivism, which is not typically a road one wants to go down. That way leads to ultimately throwing out most fandom terms (including "Fandom") because they're "made up" or "improper". (Also if you're not careful, down that path lies dismissing valid dialects, like AAVE and netspeak because they're not "right")

1) Assuming quality writing has an objective facet to it (kinda necessary if you don't want to delve into relativism, in which case you can kindly keep your unimportant subjective opinion to yourself), those who think they know good writing from bad have a right to say "this I find bad, and this good".
Related to that: if you make something public, expect people to express their opinion about it. Not all opinions will be positive. Fact of life, deal with it.
2) PPC missions get beta'd and should be of a fairly high writing standard. I'd like to take this opportunity to remind people to please proofread their posts before they post them here (as per the Constitution).
3) Dunno who that author is, and I don't really care, either. Point is, "Suvian", "Sue" or "Stu" is more than "I don't like this character". The reason missions have charge lists is, in part, to show why the Suvians are being assassinated/exorcised/whatever. I don't see VM in that post's notes, so if you can please point that out?

First off, what gives you the right to tell people what they should and should not write? Apparently the PPC is more Orwellian than we thought. Secondly, really? You're going to tell me you will criticize my writing, while committing several spelling and grammar errors yourself? You seriously need to rethink your approach. Third, let's have another sample from Tumblr wherein a rather famous author, beloved by much of the PPC, or at least the old guard, agrees with someone defending people writing Mary Sues, and says she hates the term. If you search through the notifications, you can also find your vary own VixenMage, one of the aforementioned old guard, agreeing as well.
As for judging and killing OCs, I suppose you're right. After all, that's certainly happened to the PPC a few times, by authors who took umbrage with your activities.

I was sorted into Slytherin three times before I was sorted into the right House. My cousin still doesn't believe it, but I'm half convinced he just holds on to the concept of me as a Slytherin because he knows it annoys me.

Like so. (Also plugging his fic which I find enjoyable.)

Ha! Pottermore sorted me into Hufflepuff. I had to make 2 accounts before it gave me the proper sorting. That quiz is so random.