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At least, I didn't.

Not that I'm criticizing. It's very considerate of the Director to spend her valuable time working to understand and support a staff that are very different from her. Sometimes we just have to be patient while understanding takes root.

And learn to duck and weave. Sometimes that, too. >.>

Man, that really sucks. I hope to see you again eventually!

I hope we'll see you again someday, once you move away from the parents!

—doctorlit, waving through a browser window

Probably most of you don't even know who I am, but... I've been around here for two and a bit years (!) and I've been lurking for most of them.

My parents, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that I need to focus more on my studies and spend less time online. So they're making me quit. I need to start living in the real world, apparently, and I can't do that when I'm here or writing fanfiction. I'm not exactly happy with this, obviously, but I know I'm not getting them to change their minds, however hard I try.

So this is goodbye, then.

I've had a great time here. I'm glad you let me play in your universe for a while, and I've learnt a lot about writing through being here. It's been fun, and insane in the best possible way. Thanks for putting up with me. I'll miss you, and hopefully one day I'll come back.

So long, and thanks for all the fish. insert other references here

Bye, everyone.

You know, somehow that really isn't what I expected to be doing when I joined FicPsych. Besides, mightn't it be better not to have agents come in going "oh, I know you! You look different with a shirt on, haha..." ? Just a thought.

I mean, you can probably talk me into posing in a leather jacket, or something. I even still have one. Well, two. But I'm going to be fully clothed apart from the jacket as well, and I don't mean in tight leather pants, either.

(To borrow a phrase, buy me a drink first. And don't take pictures.)

If it will satisfy you to print a CAD reading, fine. I'll even give you the ones from my annual evaluations (because guess what, FicPsych keeps track of the mental and metafictional state of its staff; shocking, I know). I believe you'll find the percentage trends downward, with the occasional oscillation. Nobody's perfect, right? ;)

But I'm more interested in the apology. Then we can discuss what I'm willing to provide you in the future. Up front, I'm not engaging in any "content" involving the white coat or other trappings of my job. The "hot nurse" thing is so trite. Surely you can do better than that.

—Jenni

(( She does have some dignity to preserve. Compartmentalization is key. {= ) ... Mind you, I wouldn't be surprised if, a week later, the Kudzu decided the entire department should engage in a series of, uh, promotional images to increase the visibility of FicPsych and humanize increase the bipedal-mammalian sense of sympathy and relatability toward the staff... ))

I have waited two- no, three years for this!

I might not be able to stay awake the whole time, but it sounds fun.

I might be a bit late, or a lot late, depending, but given how long we went last time, somehow, I don't think I'm going to miss it entirely.

[Muttered conversation ensues]

-- no, I know, but she didn't say --

-- right, so we stick to the letter of the --

-- not my fault; you should have read --

-- okay. Hi! So you're saying if we-

I've got DAS-SWEAR on the line, Starwind.

Hold on a moment. Hi, Dr. Niamh? This is the Monit... er, the Mary-Sue Monitoring Team. ... no, you wouldn't have, we're new. ... right. So we were wondering, Suvians are your speciality, right? So would you be able to assess someone to confirm they're not a Suvian? ... right. ... no, I know that's what a CAD's for, but I was hoping... uh-huh. ... no, I get that. ... sorry. ... no, wait, I--

She hung up.

... Agent Robinson! Or is it Nurse Robinson? Anyway, you're saying if we print a CAD reading of you to prove you're not a Suvian, you'll provide us with "exclusive" "content"? Because I think we can arrange that.

Ask her about the calendar.

I'm not going to- we don't even have a calendar, Estelnar!

But we could make so much money! Think of it: "Hello, Nurse! Seven Seasons of HQ's Hottest... Healthcare... Hottie"? I don't know, we can work on it.

That's just corny, Estelnar. -- wait, seven?

I know, but I figure we can get away with adding the middle-days as a separate page. More pictures means more money, right?

... what calendar are you even using?

The proper one. What are YOU using?

The one we've been printing on the cover of every issue!

Oh. Huh, I always wondered about that--

[SIGNAL LOST]

((Well, give them an inch and they'll take you a sixth of the way to Venus. ~hS))

"A Guide for Working Breeds" is a neat short story involving conversations between a robot and their mentor, the general BS thrown at the working class - and cute dogs. (It's also by the author of "Fandom for Robots" if that's any incentive.)

The Cicada is so down that she is referring to herself in the third person out of sheer excitement.

Congrats, Damien on Permission! throws more confetti

Larf, his criticism was actually very helpful, although a bit blunt. Not saying there is anything wrong with being blunt, but it took me a few minutes to compose a response that wasn't me yelling at myself. Then again, I've been known to take criticism badly if I'm not in the best of moods, and I was ticked off with myself from the get-go on that day, so not anyone's fault at that.

In a sentence, I thought the criticism was helpful, albeit blunt and it's concrit for my writer's fortress he he he.

But yeah. Congrats on Permission, Damien! Maybe once I get more experience, we can team up on some Harry Potter or JoJo badfic.

If only there were some sort of device that could analyze one's character. :|

Come on, ladies, be serious for one minute.

—Jenni

I won't waffle too long with the excuses and the apologies et al nobody really wants to hear that. All I can really say is, by god, I've been busy as all balls, and I can only imagine the other PGs are too (if not moreso, what with them all being actual like adults and all that with like, decent jobs and the like). Nevertheless, this was left ignored for far too long. Sorry about that.

Anyhow, thoughts thoughts thoughts: I liked the hell out of this! I haven't read, like, anything in far too long (blame the old covid upside-down-brain-itis) but these stories were just really smooth reads. Your writing style is straightforward and polished, with a lot of characterisation all slickly weaved through it. It's got a good flow going on--I didn't even need the bios to get a good sense of these characters, which is always fantastic stuff. The characters themselves are likeable, and you do a good job at capturing the deep awkwardness of working together with somebody you still don't really know yet. I'm particularly fond of how one sided this awkwardness seems to be, with Kaito seemingly barely even able to understand what Tanner's getting so worked up about all the time.

Which is, truly, the anxiety experience.

I'm fond, I must also add, of Kaito's powers. I tend to get (admittedly unfairly) leery of agents from shounen-sorta canons, but Kaito's origins feel very genuine and central to his character, and his powers read as very distinctly My Hero.

I wish I had more criticisms to balance this out, really, but I don't have anything particularly big, so far. I mean, it's kinda weird that you specify that Kaito is morally against rape (I would assume this of any protagonist we're meant to like, but I guess it's not... like, wrong?) I kinda just wanna see where you go with these two, so far!

In terms of badfic, I mean, this one seems alright enough. As far as bad writing goes, it doesn't seem, like, hyperawful, though it's definitely obnoxious and definitely bad. The important thing is if there's enough in here to make a fun to read mission and, yeah, I reckon so.

In terms of community engagement: well, you're here! I see you around, I know who you are, what your deal is, et al. You seem a good guy though, I admit, I think you gotta like. Chill out a little. No offence, I'm much the same--I'm an intense guy myself, and I get very harsh unnecessarily more than I wish I did. Got hot iron in the veins and all that, that's what folks like us are like. I'm thinking mostly of your critique of Kittyauthor's recent mission (which, and I will admit, I have not yet read entirely), which, while seeming all around well intended and also generally good and helpful, was, like... very intense? You really didn't do anything wrong in it--like I said, it did seem quite helpful, though I can't speak for Kittyauthor--but you open it with a spiel about how high your own standards are et al et al so on.

Don't get me wrong, we're all for good hard critique in here--it's a cornerstone of our community. But, on that same note, we're not writing for a literary journal in here, y'know? Perhaps I'm talking outta line here--perhaps, also, this entire thing is just me tone policing, because, again, you really didn't say specifically anything wrong--but this stuff's meant to be more primarily fun, y'know? And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we gotta lower our standards just because what we're writing is meant to be fun, but, moreso, er, just maybe chill a little. This is among a couple other thises and thats. Like, don't get me mistaken--I really am very much the same as you. I'm also well aware that just saying 'chill out lol' is a very not helpful thing to say (it wouldn't work well for me, for instance), but I also feel I would be remiss in not mentioning it, you know?

You haven't done anything wrong, really, and I can't foresee you doing so, at least, certainly not intentionally--it just had to be mentioned, as it were. I think I'll just say--you're real hard on things. You're hard on other folks' things, you're really hard on your own stuff. You are almost certainly a far better writer than you seem to think of yourself as.

So, er, take it easy, hey?

Oh, and, permission granted! Yay!

Did we even write that one? -S.R.

I think it came in an anonymous envelope, but that's not the point. This is a matter of principle.

We have principles? Did they come in the envelope too? -S.R.

-_-

See, I've always been a supporter of the Monitor. Absurd, hyperbolic gossip Serious investigative journalism is good fun when it's not taken to the point of being insulting.

You know what, I was going to say yes, but I've just remembered I'm still angry about that one. Perhaps if there were some sort of public recanting of and apology for the Sue remark, which was below the belt if not downright libelous, I might reconsider entering negotiations for some exclusive content.

—Jenni

Haaaaaang on a minute... Robinson? Jenni Robinson?

We've already done you! Stop trying to sneak back into our paper; we're a serious journalistic endeavour, don'cha'know.

I think that was one of our more popular issues, actually. ~Estelnar

What? No way, that was... what, fourteen years ago? We've done hun- doz- lots since then!

Neverthless. ~E

...

Heeeeey, Agent Robinson, about that 'asking nicely' thing...

-S.R.