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I'm sorry, but I find that your agents are woefully lacking in endearing qualities. And in personality. Marks strikes me as nothing but a highly unstable individual, liable to go flamethrower-crazy at any moment, and Travis seems, well, a non-entity. I simply couldn't find any depth in there.

Oh, and on a side note, your writing sample contains several punctuation and capitalization errors.

Which is what I was thought, and which I do keep hearing (skilled people get better jobs, etc.). It's a bit disheartening that in actual fact, people that are best able to boast about their skills get the job. Not necessarily the people that would be best at the job.

... but I'm not a slash fan, so I'm probably not the best choice to PPC a slash mission. I'd charge for things I shouldn't. Damn.

And yeah, it's sad, isn't it, how little fanfic there is for some fandoms? There are some books and TV shows for which I almost wish there were rabid fangirls and Sues for, just because that would mean a corresponding increase in the percentage that is goodfic. *sigh*

...because she's quite right. I can see that you certainly have made an effort to do this differently, but I'm afraid you're just not there yet. Take your time - the PPC isn't going anywhere, I assure you.

As an addition to the above list, I'd also suggest that you spend some time reading some non-PPC stories, be they (good) fanfiction or published novels. It might help.

I meant the "extensive" part. Nine days is not extensive.

Again, the issue is good taste and your agents not being in it. Actual psychological problems are not funny--especially if you intend to use them as an excuse for bad behavior, which is incredibly not okay. I recognize the desire to do something different, but you have to find a way that doesn't fly in the face of our sensibilities.

I suggest that you go read the wiki article on insanity very carefully, then re-read the Guide to the PPC, the Original Series, and a few more series, paying special attention to the application of the word "insanity" and how various aspects of the organization, such as FicPsych and the armory, are treated.

~Neshomeh

That overconfidence thing you said in the mission is something I have said for a long time. I saw a study once (sorry no link), that talked about those programs and pointed out that often times the kids that scored the highest on the tests were the biggest troublemakers, rule breakers, and lowest achievers. They often failed at everything, but were totally happy about themselves while they were doing it.

Self-confidence of the healthy kind does not come from being told you're doing great when your not. I've always believed it comes from knowing that you are competent. People look at me funny over this sometimes, but my kids (age 9 & 10) know how to run all the major appliances in the house, how to take care of their own things, how to cook several basic meals, and how to take care of several other types of things. They know they can do these things. They do not feel helpless to meet their own needs, and they don't get to feel that sense of entitlement that I am their maid. If they decide they want to learn something like cooking or sewing or whittling, then I will help them with it, teach them how, give them room to make their mistakes, and then give them pointers on how to continue to improve.

They might not score the absolute highest on the self-confidence tests, but they have a more realistic confidence.

Even though the request is Mark II, the characters are actually my beta version, much better than the ones I posted last time (I haven't got the slightest hint on why I discarded them). Here we go, then.


Agent Leroy Marks
Species: Human
Home Continuum: World One
He suffers from a "mild case"[SIC] of kleptomania, and is undergoing experimental treatment under the supervision of FicPsych. His behaviour is often reminiscent of borderline personality disorder.
He is tall, broad-shouldered, Caucasian, facially unattractive. His hair is light and his eyes are green.

Agent Quentin Travis
Species: Human
Home Continuum: World One
He is nice, kind and often suspicious of his partner.
He is not very tall, but his other dimensions make up for it (summarily, he's fat). His skin is dark and wrinkled, his hair totally white and his eyes are brown.

Now the writing sample: Linky Link

I've been criticized for writing PPC fics and for giving negative feedback in general a few times and the argument used was "It's a good thing you are not a teacher."

While I understand the part where a teacher shouldn't make fun of his students (some do, though), most of what I say is not even that far removed from what my Math teacher said when I failed to solve (a-b)^2 correctly, "At least you are consistent." (Then he proceeded in showing how it should have been done.)

Neshomeh and myself got together with Tungsten Monk and her brother, who we named Isotope. This is the report of that gathering. Link

The article I read was in a Dutch newspaper, so, I'm guessing not much good to you. It references an article that was published in Review of General Psychology September issue. I can only access abstracts of that journal. There is one article with a promising title: Mean-Level Change in Self-Esteem From Childhood Through Adulthood: Meta-Analysis of Longitudinal Studies. The abstract doesn't seem to confirm what the newspaper article said.

(Funny coincidence, I've just returned from a lecture about how newspapers often don't properly quote research, but rather go for the big headlines).

And what can I say about Frankie? I haven't met a A-Team fanfic writer that liked him.

It's bad enough plain.

I am currently mourning how little fanfiction there is for The Phantom of the Opera. There's only 190 on the Pit for the play, and 480 for the movie. *grumble*

Now that my daily dose of complaining is over, I bring news of two badfics! Both of them, while legible, contain quite a bit of OOCness.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4272429/1/Sin
A Jesus Christ Superstar badfic, Judas/Jesus.
Summary: Judas has a crush, and finally decides how to handle it. Mild slash.
Rating: T

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6274158/1/WorstCaseScenario
A Wicked badfic, Elphaba/Glinda.
Summary: When Elphaba tries to help one drunk Galinda home, the night takes a turn for the worst, and the events that follow force the two girls' relationship to its limit.
Rating: T

Hello, all. This is just to let you know that I am changing my screen name on the Board. I am doing this because my next agent is going to be a self-insert and it might get confusing if he has a different name.

Therefore, I am changing my name to Phobos for the duration of forever.

Now back to your regularly scheduled Boarding.

-Phobos

I completely agree about the self-confidence thing. I myself have gotten bad scores on tests before due to overconfidence and optimism. Kids are taught nowadays "do your best," which is laudable, but it needs to be followed by, "make your best better."

About the confidence programs, that is. That statistic is probably related to the rampant sense of entitlement among us, too. Do you have a link to anything about that? Was there a study of some sort?

As for the story... yeah, wow. How wrong can you get? O.o Nicely done! I like that Frankie was let be at the end, and the justification for it was funny. {= )

~Neshomeh

I would like to get back to that thread. I think an e-mail discussion of it would be a good idea, so here's my address plus some superfluous spaces. Kindly drop me an e-mail when you have time.

kis_firebird @ yahoo . com

The Thoughtful Answer

Think of the canonical universe as the two faces and the alternative universe as the vase. All it takes to go from one to the other is a change in perspective, which is provided by the fic author. Good AUs make the illusion work, whereas poor AUs give you headaches. The DIAU agent's job is to cull out the weak realities (badfics) and leave the strong ones (goodfics) be.

The Not-So-Thoughtful Answer

It represents the same thing as a cactus does for the Department of Mary Sues.

Another short non-Sue killing mission: Loyalty Summary of the story: The A-Team gives Frankie a lesson on loyalty. Summary of the mission: Tasmin and Allison have to remind the Team 'that is not what loyalty is about'.

It seems that ever since Cassie set the challenge to write non-Sue mission the badficcers in my main fandom have stopped writing Sues. Odd coincidence.

Jalapenos.

Don't look at me funny, I had a youth group leader who liked that mix...

but I just want to say that this is definitely something I'd like to see! The writing sample is really funny, and your duo cracks me up. A little-girl/zombie team-up. Think of the comic possibilities! XD