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Let's say you have a (very) serious story very low on metaphors. When the author does employ a metaphor that is certainly not intended as funny and, indeed, succeeds in producing the desired effect, it can be good to very good, yes?

You have to be careful what you use and how much of it are you putting into the mix, otherwise the final product might be impalatable for the consumers ;-)

Are you sure about the fish, though? If I recall correctly, Peregrine Falcons live on a diet consisting mainly of other birds...

One of the books I'm currently reading is a writing guide, which also covers attractive writing and the use of metaphor. It gives a strong warning about using imagery and metaphor. In serious text infotainment can have negative impact. And humorous writing may only be funny on the screen of the author.

Personally, I have a rather low tolerance for metaphor. Too many metaphors cause me to think outside the story, because they make me think of something that isn't in the story. Send me outside the story too often and I'm staying out of it, i.e. I'm not going to continue reading it.

I don't think PPC-ers always think metaphors are a bad thing. Just the ones that are only funny to the author themselves. Plus, it is fun to make fun of something that was intended as funny.

to start fires on board? You know, fire safety-wise.

to visit the horrors of sushi upon an unsuspecting Sue!

Is this the kind designed for use by burning minis?

Have a pet cat. You may name her whatever you wish.

Have a gun. Always useful, with those Sues.

Just something that's been puzzling me.

I love to read, and I've found that good metaphors can really help get a reader more emotionally involved in a story. Yet, in reading PPC missions, it has struck me more than once that mission writers can show a profound dislike for metaphors. Why is this? Does the PPC always consider them a bad thing, or are there certain criteria?

Oh dear... From now on, I will always read the author's bio before speaking. 'Legolas's socalled love' is a parody! An intentional badfic! I put it up on Unclaimed, but I'll go remove it right now.

Kitti1, on the off chance that you ever read this, I sincerely apologize.

Oh, and Miah, I've found a badfic that, without a doubt, beats the hell out of all the stuff we've linked to each other so far. All the stuff combined.

I haven't read it, only the summary, and I really, REALLY don't want to go any further. What kind of sick, twisted individual would want to read, much less write, quote, "John Reed/Jane Eyre smut, sex, lemon", unquote, set when Jane is ten (TEN!) years old and John is fourteen?

According to her bio, the author was fourteen when she wrote this, and can't be more than fifteen now. Also, she is a rabid shipper who lurves Twilight (including the imprint-pairing idea), as well as lots of other poor fandoms. Guess that explains a thing or two...

Eeeeeyagh!

Have a Peregrine Falcon. Don't feed it any Sue or CAF meat. Ordinary fish would do.

Fair winds!

Now you can throw a BBQ party.

I'd already seen this one. Sorry, honey.

Funny thing though. I've read Foxglove and Laburnum's MST with Murdoc (Gorillaz) a few times now, and I keep replacing 'Murcrow' (or variations of that name) with Murdoc. For some reason, it's hilarious.

But then... Would that make Swabloo... 2D?

And all of a sudden the whole thing makes sense. This fic shows us how 2D thinks when high on pills. I.e. all the time. A stunning insight into a cracked mind.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide under the bed.

But before I do, here's a fic to counter this one.

Legolas's socalled love

Moohahahahahahahaaaaaaaa...

Glad to see I'm no longer the newest of the new :)

Here, have a weapon of your choice and some sushi. One for killing Sues, the other one for personal enjoyment, although their purposes probably shouldn't be mixed up.

Sorry. I did read them, but it must have either escaped my notice or my brain decided to fuzz it out in light of all the "stuff" that's going on at present.

Sorry to bother everyone here. I'll just wait till a month's passed.

I don't think there's any one answer to these, but since it's a FicPsych question, here's my take:

FicPsych would certainly try to rehabilitate an agent who's that far gone, and they do have a very secret, very removed from the beaten path inpatient facility. They would certainly keep a close watch on anyone likely to be dangerous. However, given limited personnel, that number would have to be very small, restricted to only those most desperately in need of their particular brand of care. They are very good at what they do, though, and since they have loads of experience with agents who've lost it, I'd say their chances of rehabilitating most people are pretty good. And if you think it would make an entertaining story, I'd love to see you write it. {= )

As for the second question, again, whatever seems like it would be the most entertaining is probably fine. I don't think there's any precedent for that sort of scenario, and even if there were, it would depend on the circumstances in the fic. That said, simply banishing anything that was summoned ought to do the trick.

~Neshomeh

This will teach me to check the board for newbie posts when there's someone I don't recognize in the channel.

Hallo, Prospero, nice to meet you, here's a leash-and-harness set that's flame-retardant and approximately brain-sized. :D Hope I didn't scare you.

1. Yes, they'd stay in Medical or FicPsych, depending on their particular needs. Most of the time, agents who go nuts tend to be psychotic rather than just garden-variety traumatized or depressed, probably because the badfic has been re-writing their brains. While it has some things in common with schizophrenia or some kinds of bipolar mania, this condition is not the same thing as either one of those real-world diagnoses. World One doesn't have the facilities to treat badfic-related disorders; the only such facilities are located at HQ (and possibly some other metafictional continua). To have any chance of recovering, insane agents would have to stay at HQ.
   
   2. Depends. The first possibility is that Bloody Mary or the Slender Man would simply be an OC with that name, and dealt with like any other OC. The second possibility is that they would be dealing with the real Bloody Mary. There seem to be characters who have an existence beyond a single continuum of the multiverse. Only a very few are known. Among them are Lady Contrivance and Lord Implausibility, Sekhmet and Imhotep from Egyptian mythology (encountered by Suicide and Ithalond in the HPverse), and all omnipotent beings. These have all been known to pop in and out of the continua at will, entering badfic without portal technology. Notably, Sekhmet and Imhotep are both (non-omnipotent) deities who are part of World One mythology. Bloody Mary would be similar--as an urban legend, she is part of modern mythology. So in this case the agents would be dealing with the real Bloody Mary. Not being omnipotent (if she were, badfic would force character replacement rather than OOC), she'd be forced to go along with it until someone did a few exorcisms or cast a few Avada Kedavras... at which point, watch out.

The rubin vase effect needs a shared border between two images to make the effect, and I haven't been able to make anything out of the borders of two lightning bolts except two lightning bolts - everything else comes out looking like abstract art. I'll keep trying, but don't bet on it.

As a side note, I stand by my original vote for the rubin vase.

Here, have an organic, gluten-free, low-glycemic Mocha Cupcake! They're delicious! and don't taste like they're any of the above. Well, except for the Mocha Cupcake thing... *hands you one*

Also, please, take a Pidgin. They work as an emergency Universal Translator (Though they do tend to translate everything to Fanbrat, so use with care), and can be bribed to carry messages (Again, only in Fanbrat, so only use when absolutely necessary...).

Well met, rookie! Please enjoy this bucket of distractingly shiny objects as a welcoming gift.

Thank you. In return, please accept my invitation to a pancake party of DOOMtm.

Welcome to the Board. I hereby grant you the standard Newbie Welcome basket and your very own Frying Pan of DOOM^tm. Use it wisely.

Thank you, I shall put these to good use.
Dif-tor heh smusma to you, as well.