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And it would be deadly serious... if they weren't in the habit of spelling out every punctuation mark!

The function of the DTE:

“Addendum colon said agent belonging to the Department of Technical Errors comma he shall kill or deal out unpleasant punishments specifically to the un-canon elements possessing an inappropriate number of grammatical comma orthographical comma linguistic comma logical and slash or historical mistakes full stop.”

I know that anyone's sanity will probably be challenged by this nsfw fic, but still, with all the blood, unneeded sexism, and the craziness of the author, I don't want to say that it isn't badfic, especially if Real-Life people are involved like this...

Someone in chat gave me the idea. I said something along the lines of what Kelok said in the mission about nesting flashbacks, and whoever it was said, basically, Are they hatching babies? It might have been Makari or Gen. If whoever it was will claim it, I will give them credit, but I have forgotten exactly who it was.

I could have lived without seeing Yuna badly lip-synced to "I Want My Innocence Back," or random clips of Namine to "Redlight District", myself. I'm not sure you know much of either of those fandoms, but the first mostly involved footage from a very cheerful (CGI) pop concert, and Namine is a very pure-looking character who appears to be about 12.

Lovely; and what's even better is that you can take constructive criticism. :D.

Try to keep this place clean from it's spam, please! The spambot's very annoying and it's making posts unreadable.

A parody of the Mary-Sue factories? The real deal? Eh, what the hell. It's funny, and it's over here, if you want to check it out.
I happen to think it's funny, and it's pretty good as a checklist for a mary-sue or for finding one. Hell, just read it for the lolz.

-Honu_Wahine (hey, is the spambot/troll thing gone?)

But seriously, how can someone make ZOMBIES that boring?

*was curious, took a peek at the original fic* *shudders*

Well done in slogging through that one. I sort of love the idea of nesting flashbacks hatching baby flashbacks.

... try adding a couple lines about Bad Slash or modifying line 2 and 3. Or generalising it to badfic.

Some of us have large stashes of plover and tall ships...

Oh, you might want this storage-vacuum as well. I don't know if it's legal, but you'll certainly need it for all the random gifts.

Though something funny would be nice, too. It doesn't have to be the joke that Sedri suggested. It could be a line that says something along the lines of "To never take ourselves too seriously" (written in an extremely serious tone, of course, because I think irony is funny).

Most of us know how to scroll down the board and catch posts we haven't seen yet.

Don't know about anyone else, but in my browser posts I've read show up in a different colour than posts I haven't read.

I know I was there when you were talking about this one in the chat, Miah, but I'm just starting to grasp the full impact of the horror of this badfic. And I'm not talking about the zombies.

*shudder*

Poor Mary Watson...

I posted these same links a couple of days ago, but I think they got swamped. I'm reposting them here because you guys would miss out on a lot of laughs otherwise.

Now then, first up, here's a site called Bad Fanfic, No Biscuit! . On the main page, it says, "The purpose of this website is to show examples of intentionally bad fanfic, also known as BadFic, and to explain what makes them bad." The stories on this site do just that, and, with one (intentional) exception, they do it hilariously. 'Elementary Biology' is my personal favorite. ;)

---

Next up, a piece of original fiction by Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw, called Articulate Jim: A Search for Something .

It may be my personal tastes talking, but how could you not love something that offers stuff like this?

"'Don't breathe a word of this to anyone,' she said warningly. 'This toilet seat is known only to us six. Myself, Horatio Scarlet, Penfold Lexington, Jam Lexington, Camp Gareth and Articulate Jim, whose real name is far too stupid for everyday use. From now on we will use the notes on this toilet seat and Gareth's arse to seek out the legendary Lost Golden City of El Dorado. From this day forth, we six shall be known as... The Fellowship of the Rim.'

Dramatic pause.

'That is so gay,' said Jam."

Or this:

"As for the woman herself, well, she was of course staggeringly beautiful to the degree that made one's eyes hurt. She was about five foot nine in height with bounteous quantities of blonde flowing hair. Physically perfect in every detail but one - her nose. It had clearly been, of course, perfect, but was now visibly slightly squashed. Rose's blows could be terrible ones, that I know well, and there's clearly only so much that the finest plastic surgeons money can buy can do."

Or this:

"Every evening just after dinner Scar and I would meet in the cargo holds and get ourselves completely rat-arsed. The fun part was that it felt like the first time every time; we usually became so blitzed we forgot the entire event."

Or, finally, this:

"Allow me to offer a little explanation here. Scar had spent a lifetime on pirate ships where grog and other beverages flowed like saliva from the mouth of a hungry dog in front of a pie shop. His liver had had an ultimatum - get used to it, or pack in. Fortunately for him it had chosen the former, but now if he went without alcohol for too long his highly evolved metabolism started to collapse, and he would often take drastic measures. When called upon Scar had a MacGyver-like ability to construct a still from virtually any resources, and had on more than one occasion resorted to concocting a brew fermented from human bone marrow.

So you can see how Rose and Gareth would be a little ill at ease on a ship containing Scar and a notable lack of intoxicating fluid."

Everyone likes a good couple of laughs, no? ;)

Name: Griffin Duhamel
Species: Human
Home Continuum: Real World
Department: Mary-Sues
Skills: Knows how to assemble a gun, how to aim said gun at someone and severely wound them, very good at basketball, and can speak fluently in several dialects of Chinese
Weapons: Handgun
Appearance: Griffin is quite tall, having been an avid basketball player for his school team. He stands at 6’3’’, and has curly brown hair and wears glasses with dark blue frames. When not in uniform, he usually goes around in a plain T-shirt and jeans.
Backstory: Griffin is from a well-off family, and attended a private school. Extremely tall and athletic, he made the basketball team almost immediately. His mother is Chinese and taught him how to speak in fluent Chinese. He refuses to curse or use foul language, because his father told him that it was ‘uncouth’ and ‘vulgar’. He fell into HQ via a plot hole in his shower. He was recruited and placed with Charlie in the Department of Mary-Sues, and is usually placed in the position of tasting her experimental recipes.

Name: Charlie Gal-Or
Species: Human
Home Continuum: Real World
Department: Mary-Sues
Skills: Decent at archery (but is very bad at other sports), cooks very well, and can write extremely fast
Weapons: Bow and arrows
Appearance: In contrast to her partner, Charlie is quite short and stands just below 5 ft. She has cropped dark hair that swings by her chin and freckles across her nose. When not in uniform, she often is found in any random pieces of clothing and an apron, usually experimenting with her cooking.

The story I'd like to kill: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5173541/1/
It's about an OC called Bianca who somehow gains the affections of both Lelouch and Gino. It's in the Code Geass fandom. She's the uncanonical daughter of Lloyd Asplund.

Writing Sample: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6289043/1/Ever_After
Several snippets throughout the episodes of Code Geass.

Cheers!
~X.B.

... is a fanvid about Kovu from Lion King 2 based on "The Chimbley Sweep", which a) has nothing to do with him in the slightest and b) is a decidedly creepy song to pick. I can't help but wonder if the maker actually listened to the third verse there. (Anyone familiar with the song will know what I mean.) Then there was a creepy pro-anorexia vid with "Odalisque" as backing music, and I'm baffled as to why.

Could be worse. I heard rumours of "My Friends" from Sweeney Todd being used as the backing music for a slideshow of pictures of ponies. Yeah.

I'm a fast reader ^^;;; Besides, don't want to offend anyone.

I've already got a couple PPC missions written... if I see other badfic, can I take it on without posting up Permission...? Or would that be bad?

*munches chocolate*

But I don't care about that. *sharpens pointy objects*

*writes it down for future use*

Good point. I'll see what I can come up with

Just taking cheap shots at everything to be petty is very bad, yes. But taking the things you object to within the canon and deconstructing them down to the ground - that can definitely be interesting. Terrifying deconstructive sparklepire fic comes to mind.