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SPLAT

"Didn't I say serpentine?!"

"I attempted to do as you said, but it did not help!"

"Well, then just take cover!"

"A magnificent strategy, Field Marshal. Perhaps next we could--" SPLAT

Gremlin grabbed several abandoned bowls of baked beans and began slinging the contents every which way.

Unger noticed a blue haired agent weaving her way through the mess, and he turned his attention toward splatting her with a sauce covered rice ball.

Unger took careful aim at the winged agent fluttering around the room. He flung a barrage of the sticky, sauce dripping, rice balls at the flying agent.

He saw that Kelok was pinned under a table with an agent whose dreadlocks were dripping blue goo.

SPLOOSH

An expressionless blue-haired figure wiped the remnants of her clam chowder lunch out of her eyes. "Wonderful," Xericka said. "I had always thought ordinary meals were far too staid, what with no food being flung through the air."

Gremlin leaned over and pulled a soup cracker out of her partner's ear. "That's why you gotta start flinging things back!" She picked up her partially eaten sandwich and tossed it like a frisbee into the fray.

"I do not think--" Xericka was cut off by a face full of salad dressing.

"Serpentine, Xer! Serpentine!" Gremlin called out as she accelerated towards the buffet.

Kelok waved at the furred woman, and made another bid for the position held by Unger.

Ian shrugged once more. 'As I said, it happens a lot, so don't worry about it.' He glanced up at the underside of the table, shaking his head. 'Well, at least people seem to be getting their frustrations out with this food fight,' he said right before Lee scurried under the table, laughing and dripping with soup and other various foodstuffs.

'You're missing one hell of a battle out there, Ian,' she told her partner, flopping down on a relatively clean part of the floor, panting. Sometime during the battle, she'd shapeshifted into her anthro cougar form, presumably the better to focus her magic. As such, her fur was sticking up at odd angles where her clothes didn't quite cover it, but she looked far happier than Ian had seen in a long time.

Lee spotted Kelok and gave a lazy wave in greeting. 'Hi,' she said, trying to control her breathing.

Kelok felt his face flush green with embarrassment. "Please forgive me. The memories I have from the character I should have been are very fuzzy." He startled when something hard rattled across the top of the table.

Unger was still flinging sticky rice balls at all passersby.

Ian sighed. 'No, I'm not,' he said with mild exasperation. 'I just look sort of like him. Trust me, you're not the first person to ask about it. I got glomped my first day of training by a Ronon fangirl.' Ian shrugged. 'I'm used to it by now, but I am thankful that I wasn't partnered with someone who had Ronon as their LO.'

I've only started on Lovecraft, but I rather like the inescapable OH MY GOD WTF IS THAT brain-breaking horror style.

...Basically, most horror is about something freaky, okay, yeah, but we can kill it. Vampires, werewolves, zombies, serial killers. Lovecraft horror very different: There are things out there that are much, much, MUCH bigger than we are. They can and will eat our souls for breakfast. Just learning of their existence is enough to drive logical, sane humans to madness and suicide--sometimes en masse. The only thing we can hope for is that these things never wake up, because they're sure never going to die, and our chances of survival if they ever do come back to take over the world are virtually nil. Anyone who does survive will do so entirely at the whim of these greater powers, who are stronger, older, and more terrifying than we could ever hope to comprehend.

That's what I like: it's not apocalyptic where a few people survive (The move 2012 is a prime example of this), and there's hope. It's also not removable-terror horror (Friday the 13th, Saw, every vampire horror novel since time began, etc.) where whatever it is is scary but defeatable. It's pre-apocalyptic horror with absolutely no hope whatsoever. There is no escape, and there is no hero to save the day; there is no way to hide until the horror ends. If these things come back, we. are. screwed.

Lovecraft is a smack upside the head to the human ego; one that's badly needed.

Kelok stared at the other agent. His wispy memories of the character he was supposed to be stirred oddly at the appearance of this agent.

"Ronon?" he asked with confusion apparent in his expression.

Lee didn't duck fast enough to avoid the sticky rice, which hit her right in the face before dropping to the floor. She wiped the orange sauce out of her eyes, a worryingly bright grin on her face. Ian caught sight of it and dove for cover, ending up underneath a nearby table next to Kelok. He glanced over at the Wraith, giving him a wary smile.

'Sorry 'bout that,' he said, gesturing vaguely at Lee's location nearby. 'I didn't know she could get that enthusiastic with soup.'

Kelok had almost made it to the cover of the serving line when he was hit from behind by a jet of soup. He stumbled and fell face first into a pile of...something. It was red and contained crunchy bits. He got to his knees and dove for cover.

Unger saw the soup bender knock Kelok down, and he flung a double handful of sticky rice dipped in an orange sauce at the woman.

Modren dove under a table only split second too late to avoid being splatted by some soup. He briefly debated casting 'protection from edible missiles' on himself but decided not too.

Not only would it ruin the fun but he had overheard several agents questioning whether or not the food here was, in fact, edible.

After a few moments he remembered the 'muffin storm' spell and cast it. This caused every muffin, cupcake and bun in the room to fly at the nearest person.

Agent Miah wiped bits of what might charitably be called vegetables from her face. Luckily the soup had gotten cold before the diving, rolling, now whimpering streak of agent had sent it spraying toward her and Cali's table. She pulled her dart gun out and peeked under the table.

A silver haired Lord of the Rings elf was gibbering in fear. She rolled her eyes, even she couldn't shoot someone that traumatized. As she sat up, Cali was sliding his mirrored sunglasses back on.

"You had your glasses off?"

"They were covered with soup," Cali said raking maybe vegetables out of his mass of blue hair.

"You had your glass off and I missed it?"

"Yep."

Miah scooped up some of the blue pudding stuff and threw it at Cali's face.

One of the more interesting things that Lee liked about being an Elemental Mage was the ability to control any liquid that contained water in it, no matter how small the amount within said substance. Soup, for instance, was a fantastic weapon in a food fight, and Lee was having a grand time manipulating as much of it as she could handle, splashing agents indiscriminately.

'Hey!' Ian yelped as some soup hit him squarely on the ear. 'I thought I was on your side!'

'There are no sides in food fights, oh partner-mine,' Lee laughed, sending a jet of split-pea soup towards Kelok. 'Besides, I'm having fun. If you don't want to get hit, move out of the way.'

One of the halves of meatloaf smacked Jamie in the back of the head, causing him to choke on his mouthful of food. It fell down onto his wings, and began gnawing at the magical constructs with stubborn persistence. Summer laughed as he flapped madly, trying to dislodge it; eventually she decided to help him, and pulled it off.

"Right. Who did that?" yelled the Pipers' Child. Summer shrugged.

"Does it matter?"

"No."

"I have told you not to wear your wings in here, you know."

"Oh, shut up." He grabbed his tray and took off, using a spoon to catapult mostly-unidentifiable globs of probably foodlike substance at the Agents below. Summer cheered him on, overturning her bowl of soup on the head of the nearest Agent.

The Noldo known as Ithalond was not very comfortable on the subject of food. His wife Mithiriel was an excellent cook, but unfortunately, Ithalond had once been traumatized by a Dibbler pie and still had flashbacks whenever too much meat was in the vicinity. It was his bad luck to be in the cafeteria, refilling a coffee pot, when the food fight began.

He yelped like a startled deer, dropped the coffee pot, dived over the nearest table (knocking over several dishes in the process and sending soup spraying everywhere), hit the deck, tucked and rolled like a master martial artist, and wound up cowering under a random agent's table with his artificial hands firmly jammed in his own mouth. Ever heard a high, proud, ancient, and wise Elf whimper like a kicked puppy? You have now.

That was really good. The clips worked together nicely, and your narration was interesting and informative.

Good luck on your thesis process.

I was just browsing Youtube and I found out that, while there are a lot of reviews, readings and videos about fandom on there, I couldn't find a good one about Sues in any fandom. Was wondering if there's a reason for this lack, or if it's just that no-one's done it?
(Or I missed it. Big site, so quite likely).

"Why couldn't we have gotten some real food on our last mission?" Kelok grumbled.

"You forgot to bring the money, and I'm tired of getting chased and shot at for stealing it. Besides--"

A blue troll started talking loudly about the Flowers. Kelok watched him with interest.

"Do you have any idea what he is talking about, Unger?"

Unger radiated mischievousness as he said, "Oh yes. A food fight. By the way, your meat loaf is trying to escape again."

Kelok stabbed the "food" before it completely crawled off his plate. Blue gloppy stuff impacted an oddly familiar looking agent's head.

Unger joined in the fray by throwing what could be creamed corn in the direction of the troll.

"I know the food is not good here, but what is the purpose of throwing it at each other?" Kelok asked him.

Unger ducked under the table, and a 'meat'ball immediately followed by spaghetti impacted squarely with the back of Kelok's head.

Unger giggled. "Because it's fun half-orc." He popped up from under the table and darted toward the serving line and more ammunition.

"Wraith," Kelok muttered. He looked around the room of laughing, food-dripping agents, and smiled. He dragged his fingers through his hair, and came up with a handful of spaghetti. He picked up the "meat"loaf, which had split into two pieces--both of which were trying to crawl off his plate, and ran after Unger. Having more ammunition and better cover was definitely the superior tactical position in this fight.

He launched his food missiles at random as he ran.

Krisprolls sends the contents of his plate on the fighters, and it lands on South's head. South retaliates and Whatever receives it. It soons degenerates into a... well... food fight. Between the Infernal Trio. With real insults inside.
"Dwarf!" says South.
"Midget!" says Krisprolls.
"Dwarf!"
"Midget!"
"Would you please stop, young men."
"Holy ..., What', you don't have anything more? Like 'cocksucking mother...ers', for instance?"
"Krisprolls!"
"I knew that. You didn't. Never mind."
And so on...

mini-Aragog: Foldemort

mini-Groaci: Mangan

mini-Rancor: 2R-D2

mini-Reapers: Kublia Khan, Blossom LeFevre

Unfortunately the mashed potatoes missed and hit a rather out of sorts newcomer. The man, known as Modren, turned and since he was unable to tell who had fired off the (presumably) edible missile cast a spell he'd learned in his school days: Meatball spray.

The end result of this was a dozen 'meat'balls being sprayed out in a wide arc. For good measure he decided to send what passed for spaghetti after them.

****
Note: Modren is primarily a powerful healer and was sent to the PPC to cure his arrogance.

I do recall that unfinished business. I believe my email address(es) are floating around, if you wanted to get in contact that way. An' feel free to just call me Cassie, most people do. :P

Hope the break was interesting!

I haven't had time to look at them properly, but I've skim read the first paragraph of each, and they do actually look quite good. (Is that possible?) Paper Doll Kindergarten in particular looks...interesting.