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It's a cliche to end all cliches, that story, but look at the best parodies - they take the cliches, run with them, and turn them into something funny. It could still work. Or the author and the beta could sit with it, hour by hour, for weeks, tackling every problem, and by the end there'd be a story, without the cliches. It just wouldn't resemble what there is now. Either way, something would have been rescued. It is possible.

Just... horribly, horribly unlikely.

I thought everyone knew that. ^_~

But seriously, it's quality, not quantity that counts. If it's too long, it isn't unheard of for permission requests to fall by the wayside for days.

Of course, that can happen anyway if all the PGs are busy. Enthusiasm is laudable, but patience is a virtue.

~Neshomeh

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5066535/1/Balance_Censored#

Balance Censored is a Harry Potter/Stargate Crossover. I was not impressed with the first chapter because Harry acts OOC and is a metmorphmagus...and learns wandless magic at age nine...and figure out he is a wizard all by himself. I haven't gotten to the stargate part so I don't know if the fic gets better but I wouldn't keep my hopes up.

P.S.: How big a fic do I need to get agent permission? I've done 3 chapters so far but it's far from complete.

Have to look into the seen/seeing thing. I'm sure I've done it in other fics too, and I don't think any of my betas has ever mentioned it.

I created Tasmin before I had ever seen any NCIS, so any similarities with fictional people are purely coincidental. But it was a great moment when I heard that click in my head.

As for mini-Sue... I interrupted the story there, but a little later she gets herself kidnapped and turns out to be diabetic. She carried too much potential for drama.

Good luck with the crossovers.

The best way to rescue that story would be to shred it, pulp it, and recycle it into scrap paper on which to write notes for the new version. That's just awful.

In any case, anamia, if she's already posted that gives you a fairly good excuse for refusing, but I second Neshomeh in that you should tell her the truth - tactfully, but without saying things like "but it's okay", because it's not (and because I made that mistake once and it only leads to Bad Things).

Between all of us here on the Board, I'm quite certain we've all read the bulk of existing PPC material, and I think a collaborative effort to put together a very brief summation of PPC history would be a good idea.

I haven't had time to get all the way through Crashing Down myself, and I always feel like I'm missing something. The problem with looking up most major events is that people don't always know what events are there to be looked up - I didn't know Crashing Down existed until I stumbled across a reference to it on the wiki.

So, in short, I'm seconding anamia.

Hello. I'm MAXinsanity. Hopefully you'll enjoy this community.

Okay then. Thanks.

However, bear in mind that you're less likely to get Permission without also being active on the Board. It's not enough to announce yourself, vanish, and then pop up and ask Permission. We're a relatively close community, so we like to know who we're dealing with. {= )

~Neshomeh

Ooo, another one for the DBS? Excellent! We are vastly understaffed.

And yeah, that fic sounds... Well. I suppose it could be rescued, with a lot of work. But if it's already been posted I doubt the author will want to put that much effort in.

Hello again, everyone.

Is it okay for me to claim a badfic even though I don't yet have permission?

I'm going to use the completed mission as evidence to prove that I deserve permission.

I've just been working on categorizing events on the Wiki. You can find most of the major events by looking up Events, PPC History, and PPC Emergencies.

However, there isn't really any such thing as a complete history of the PPC. Huinesoron's PPC Histories were larks that got accepted into the main continuity because everybody likes the stories so much. Aside from that, PPC History is made up of things that happen in missions and sometimes on the Board, and as such it's a pretty nebulous thing. Not to mention the fact that continuity in HQ is notoriously wonky, meaning that all events don't necessarily apply for all people at all times.

So... yeah. Good luck. ^_^;

~Neshomeh

Yikes is right. And it only gets worse. Harry is now in posession of 2450 million galleons. He gave 10kk away to each of his friends (who took it, even though Ron doesn't take charity), and Minerva is overjoyed at knowing such a wonderful person.

As for the author, I have no idea who she is. I'm a registered beta on ff.net, so I assume she found me through there.

-sigh- And she has posted it. One of those people who asks for a beta after she's posted. It's called Harry Potter and the Guardian of Hogwarts, and is by Stormy FireDragon on ff.net, if you're interested and/or masocistic.

I would, but my agents want to work in DBS and DIC, and this story is neither. I hereby offer it to anyone who wants to tackle it. Though I do want a link to the mission, if anyone does take it. -grins-

--anamia

Um... I guess the first thing to ask yourself is, is this person a friend of yours?

If so, you might want to be diplomatic about it so as not to hurt the friendship. Point out all the stuff you just said here, but nicely. If possible.

If this person is NOT a friend of yours, then tell it like it is. It is your opinion as a reader--one whose opinions the writer deliberately solicited--that this is not a story you would want to read, and here's why. Come back when you know better.

If the writer posts it anyway, then if/when you get Permission, feel free to PPC the heck out of it. {= P

~Neshomeh

Mkay, so I was recently asked to beta a story. Filled with good intentions, I sgreed, and have been reading through it.

And it's Gods-awfully bad. The writing is bad. The author seems not to have realized that you need end punctuation within quotation marks or at the end of questions or after dialogue tags. I suppose I should be grateful that she puts them at the end of her exposition. She also uses no contractions. While in exposition that's perfectly fine, it doesn't work in dialogue. They all sound stilted and flat.

Now, this I could deal with. After all, she's not a native English speaker, and this is what betas are for: to catch such things and correct them. However, the actual story itself is... well, allow me to summarize:

In chapter one, Harry spends his time moping and crying. He is then almost killed by Vernon, who talks almost exclusively IN CAPS WITH NO EXCLAMATION MARKS. He (Harry) blacks out after falling down the stairs (and wearing a bandage around a broken arm that he ties with his feet...) and Petunia sends Vernon and Dudley out of the house and sends a note to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore recieves the note, cries about it, and brings the four heads of house plus madam pomphrey to find and rescue Harry. They find that Vernon had also been hitting Petunia and Dudley, and they're taken to a safe house while Harry is sent to the Infirmary at Hogwarts.

Now, up until now, I could cope with this. It's cliché, but not Gods-awful. But when Harry wakes up in Hogwarts, he is informed that the Heads of House will be teaching him uber-advanced magic which Dumbledore expects him to master in a week. (Is it just me, or is Harry not actually all that brilliant in the books?) He and Snape have a reconciliation which ends with SNAPE CRYING (gag) and Harry telling him that it's okay.

Then, Harry recieves a note from the ghost of Godric Gryffindor and goes to see him, finding out (big surprise) that he's the heir of Gryffindor. He spends the night with the ghost learning uber-advanced Transfigurations and DADA (as it's called throughout the entire fic). He emerges in the morning as one of the most powerful wizards alive and merges his wand with Godric's. Then, he is offered the post of DADA teacher for the next year (keep in mind: he's sixteen. It takes place right after OOTP).

If all that wasn't bad enough, the next night he finds out that he's also the Heir of Hufflepuff. I haven't gotten any farther, but I'm willing to bet all the galleons I wish I owned that he is also Heir to Slytherin and Ravenclaw. And that he will become uber-powerful Harry who Defeats Evil With A Single Stroke and then angsts about it in his room. (He's barely stopped crying yet. It's getting excessive. And pathetic.)

So, basically, if any of you were asked to beta this, would you even try to save it? I feel bad telling the author to kill it dead, but that's what I want to do to the stupid thing. I want to send it the agents who have not yet been aproved (and who probably won't work in DMS anyway) and have them kill it. Multiple times. -sigh- Is it bad of me to not think this can be salvaged?

Sorry to ramble on. I just needed to complain a bit.
--anamia

My main question, after having poked around a bit, is where I might find a fairly complete history of PPC. I've found the Reorganization, and the Crashing Down, mostly by accident, and read those. (Well, all of Reorganization and I'm working on Crashing Down. I got distracted by the snowball fight. But I will finish.) These, however, seem to be a very small part of the entire history. Is there a PPC history archive where a newbie might find it from the beginning and read until now? Like, the story of the MS' coming, or the Mary Sue invasion, or anything else I haven't yet found. If it's not all in the same place, then a Wiki history article with links in chronological order would be wonderous.

thanks!
--anamia

On the Wiki, we have a FAQ for Other People and a FAQ for the Board, but not one specifically tailored to the questions new people have about us and how we do things. So! If you are new, or remember being new, post the questions you have or had when joining--and if someone already posted yours, make sure you second it. Don't be shy! It's supposed to be Frequently Asked Questions, after all, so we should know which ones come up a lot. {= )

Then, we oldbies will provide answers to the questions, and the whole thing will be collected in an article on the Wiki. Answers to some questions, like "What is X?", may end up being links to other articles, but that's okay. Others will probably be more in depth.

Go!

~Neshomeh

You did a mission in a fandom I know! Yay!

NCIS Sue. Not yay. {= P

I agree that Gibbs is one of those characters who's very likely to resist the Suefluence, like Lord Elrond. I wouldn't be surprised if he was acting strange in that fic because he knew something was very, very wrong. And what a Sue! Was she using a checklist for how to be the Suiest NCIS Sue possible? I'm glad she's gone. It is unfortunate that your agents deemed the daughter unsalvageable, though.

One point: the expression is seeing as/that/how, not seen. People slur it to sound like "seen" a lot, but it isn't. I think you used it about three times in the mission, so you might want to go back and fix it.

So... is Tasmin from an NCIS fic, or is she just a student in the L. Jethro Gibbs Distance-Learning Course for How To Treat Your Co-Workers?

~Neshomeh, who might have to go hunting for NCIS crossovers to kill now.

OFUs are generally run and administrated independently now, but those who write them are generally connected to the PPC anyway, and it's really just a good idea to make sure no OFU exists for that particular fandom.

I haven't seen a Code Geass OFU, and you're connected to the PPC. I'd say go for it.*

*Not that I'm in any position of authority, official or otherwise.

I know I've been constantly asking this, but...

How do I get permission to write the OFU itself? (So that I won't get arrested for illegal plagiarism of another's idea)

Thanks,
~Xanthia B.

Sorry, I misinterpreted what you said. Good luck. It's easier if you sort of skim the actual fic and just read the riffs.

Have a nice arsenal of Anti-Lustin weapons, just in case Luxury and/or Maeluwien comes nearby.

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots that pop up every now and again. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.

Help yourself to your favorite venomous arthropod!