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Speaking as a fairly new Doctor Who fan, I'd have to say the Doctor would be the best possible canon character to fall through, and also the worst, and it would be awesome to see this written.

I'm torn-- part of me thinks it would make perfect sense for the Doctor to look away from the pretty lights and bluff the Agents into thinking he'd been neuralysed-- but then he'd probably not bother going back. HQ does qualify as a parallel universe, right? As canons are all spots in the multiverse? So being in HQ-- or another canon-- would render the TARDIS powerless, and being a man Time Lord of brilliance, he'd probably just go on about his way. A love of getting into trouble probably would be trumped by a desire to not destroy the multiverse. *shrug*

Then again, part of me thinks he'd just go on his merry way, and that largely because it would be so awesome to see the Doctor rampant in HQ. But yeah.

(Also, I believe canon characters have made it into HQ before. They're generally extracted and neuralysed, eventually.)

I second the nominations of Sedri and Trojie.

For a start, the PPC are very very careful not to leave tech in any canon.

For another thing, when PPC tech breaks, it tends to break very spectacularly and often either melt or explode. This is for comedy. We like comedy.

And lastly, well, we *really* do like comedy, and doomsday scenarios aren't very comic. Let's not get too serious, eh? :D

I've been doing it for years, and as far as I know the only *essentials* are a canon source and invoking the name of the canon author in the shouting part :) Feel free to do whatever you like - it's kind of a case of startling/jarring the Author-Wraith out of the canon character, so shouting and a certain amount of blunt-instrument trauma tends to work well.

We just include charges in the exorcism because it kind of makes the whole thing a bit more interesting and gives us a proper reason to *collect* charges in the first place - I didn't used to, back in the day. The incorporation-of-chargelist thing is something Pads and I have only really been doing the last couple of years.

Like everything with PPC procedure, it's very individual.

As to nicking necromancer's bells from the Old Kingdom, I would think not. *However*, that doesn't mean that, say, the PPC General Store wouldn't have a set of ex-Sue's necromancer's bells that an Agent who was a bit skint might have traded in for food sometime ... there's more than one way to skin a cat, remember :)

-Trojie, pleased to see someone else considering the Bad Slash beat

It's all in a day's work for the Department of Bad Slash, but honestly, sometimes I wonder why they haven't all drowned themselves in the Fountain of Bleepka ...

There are characters in various fandoms that have knowledge of or are able to see PPC Agents. Elrond from LoTR, Jack Harkness from Torchwood, and Death from Discworld spring to mind. Death at the very least appears to be immune to neralyzation (although he is a good sport about it and allows it to happen anyway) and there haven't been any problems associated with this so far.

Oh Gods. That would be terrifying. Just trying to make sense of canon Marvel-verse makes my head ache. Collapsed!Marvel-verse boggles the mind.

I don't think anyone wants it to happen. And yeah, I can't imagine it would be fun. On the other hand, I can see writing the Dr. Who season finale based around it. Or even an entire season with clues dropped throughout the episodes ending with the catastrophe.

--anamia

No wonder it's completely and utterly Against The Rules to leave anything behind. The people writing the PPC history article should be asked to please include this all important information. Or in a newbie initiation article.

--anamia

Are there actually any standard procedures for exorcisms of Bad Slash demons? In Trojie and Pads' missions (the only BS examples I've read) it's basically the screaming out of a charge list while holding aloft the canon material. Is that customary, or are agents free to make up their own variations? For instance, would it be possible to use the actual historical 'Bell, Book, and Candle' ritual, tweaking only the names? And would there be a way for someone to nick necromancer's bells from the Sabriel continuum without someone noticing? (Answer: probably not. -sigh-)

--anamia

Tech really isn't left "lying around" much - when it's not in use, it tends to be in unmarked boxes in small rooms overfilled with unmarked (or cryptically marked) boxes. Even stuff that isn't moved much is usually noticed when it goes missing, as people are in and out of the room fairly regularly for other things. (Please note that that isn't just HQ - I do sound for a university, and it's remarkable how quickly we notice when things get moved.)

I don't think that the Doctor would be a worst-case scenario - he strikes me as the sort to quickly grasp what the PPC does and why it's a good idea to keep it running. There would probably be a big, season-ending-level adventure surrounding the whole thing, but the Doctor tends to be good at un-breaking things. Especially when he's working with himself.

If you really want to bork the multiverse, try letting Marvel-verse loose... it's got a continuity so forked it makes Star Trek look linear, and more ridiculously overpowered villains than you could shake a stick at.

(and just a minor note - we've done the whole crisis and sue invasion thing a couple times, they aren't as fun as they look.)

One misplaced CAD or DORKS would all it takes. One misplaced thing to start the chaos. Just one little thing.

I'm not saying it wouldn't be a disaster. Gods only know that it would be appalling. And, if the Dr. Who fanverse is involved, then we'll get Time Lord Sues and Stues, which are scary. Very scary. Arguably even scarier than Elf Sues, since they'll have TARDISs of their own.

I wonder if PPC coudl just evacuate, possibly to New Caledonia, and let them starve. It'd be hell to clean up later, but it might solve the problem. People might even get to keep going on missions then, thus not adding to the problem.

--anamiaa

But think about it. 60+ years of sues. From three fanons. Decending upon the ppc. It would be a massacre. An outright massacre.

If you think about it, what he does is very similar to what PPC does: go into worlds and save them from disaster. He's intelligent enough to understand the magnitude of such a crisis, and I don't see him having problems coping with the idea of either fanfiction or other continuua, especially the new series Doctor, who's dealt with alternate universes and whatnot. So probably he'd allow himself to be neuralyzed, thus averting the crisis before it begins. I agree, he wouldn't fall for the 'look at the pretty light' gimmick, but he would see the logic in it once it was explained.

Alternatively, if things to collapse, the many doctors could be a plus for PPC. Again, considering his character and personality, he'd be one of the people who understands the problem, and what with there being 11 different doctors now, they'd be good allies. He can also manipulate the TARDIS better than any of the agents (having had 900+ years of practice tends to do that, I imagine), and she might be able to open portals back to various continuua. K-9 could kill Sues, or at least keep them back. Robots aren't as susceptible to the wiles of Sues as humans, since they have no emotions other than those which have been programmed into them, so it would take them longer to work around him, especially if, as you say, there are many of them working together.

So I agree, it would be a crisis on a massive scale, but I think the Doctor would be an ally, not an enemy. He's too clever not to see that it's in the best interest of everything he loves to work alongside PPC and bring things back to normal. Well, normal for PPC...

--anamia

I've never seen Merlin, but I tend to react with sharp point objects to fics that have canonically strong male characters break down in tears ever few moments. Maybe because I used to do it myself, and so know how hard it is to resist temptation. Thus, I suppose in my eyes it's the sign of inexperienced and lazy authors manipulating my emotions. -shrugs- It makes sense in my head. Anyway, glad you all got that sorted.

At least the Robin Hood one was better about that. And what is it with authors not understanding the use of proper punctuation? -sigh-

Great job to all the agents involved. -offers Bleepka, mostly in response to the Merlin fic-

--anamia

Falling into a plothole is usually just the result of the badfic author forgetting about the character, or shoving them out of the way when a replacement comes. Plotholes act more like sinkholes in that way - one entrance, no exists, like a little bubble of reality. The portals agents use are generated using plotholes, but aren't plotholes in themslves. And, even if plotholes were to act like wormholes, there's no reason any of them would lead to the PPC - after all, no badfic author writes us into their stories. Besides, we take canons into HQ all the time for medical purposes, the Doctor included.

So don't worry, your armageddeon is so far from likely as to be more or less impossible. :)

Well what do you propose? I mean if continuums start falling in, then the fanfic will follow. And where there is fanfic there are sues. This could be potential mega-crisis.

There would be continuums all over and sues and chaos. And with the ppc as strapped as it is...

Actually, what I proposed wouldn't even require leaving anything behind. Plotholes occur naturally in every world, and somebody would be bound to wander into one sooner or later. And there will always be DORKS or other technology lying around Headquarters (After all, that's where they're supposed to be). If they're familiar with it enough to avoid neuralyzation, like being from the MIB continuum; or savvy/lucky enough to avoid it (like the Doctor) then that's when it all falls down. The Doctor is actually a worst-case scenario- he'd both be able to avoid neuralyzation AND he'd draw every other instance of himself into HQ too AND he's a main character in his continuum AND he's from a huge continuum. Plus, doesn't HQ have K-9's patrolling the halls? But that wouldn't impede the Doctor: they're both from his continuum and he's very familiar with them. Also, since all PPCers were issued TARDISii during the Macrovirus Followed Shortly By Sues Invasion, his'd blend right in. Thing is, though, he's also a very likely case as well as a cataclysmic one: Given the fact that he's attracted to Negative Space Wedgies and his instinct for trouble, as well as being the center of a lot of fanfic (which would both generate plotholes as well as providing the occasional plothole-traversing PPC agent) and natural, canon-induced plotholes, he's guaranteed to find one eventually-- and when that happens, if we don't catch him soon enough, boom goes the dynamite.

We put bells around all their necks. /kidding

You're right! One misplaced DORKS and the entire continuum could disintigrate. Oh man this could be bad. Even though there is the Very Important Rule of not leaving anything behind, this could be catastrophic if say a newbie left one behind on accident.

1.) US, Mid-Atlantic States
2.) Only in the sense that it's a negative adjective used for emphasis. I'd use it as a synonym for "cursed" or "dang'd"
3.) No, not in everyday speech. It's out of my dialect.

I'm trying to figure out where the crossover would happen, and I'm coming up short. Unless... *woo-woo dream transition*

Mario dodged, the thunderbolt striking the ground where he had stood just a moment ago. The castle roof-top was slippery, the tiles crunching slightly beneath his plumber's boots. In the distance, the trees waved in the wind.

"Pii-pika!" cursed Pikachu, zipping over Mario with a horizontal quick-attack.

werp-Werp-WERP went Mario as he taunted the little electric mouse. He jumped, colliding with Pikachu as he scattered coins everywhere.

The window beneath the fighting pair snapped open. "If you can't keep it down, you'll have to fight elsewhere," said a very irritated Professor McGonagall. "You are distracting my Transfiguration class!"

WERP-Werp-werp went Mario, returning to his usual size. Pikachu's ears went down as they ceased their battle and shuffled toward the stairs.

"I-a told-a you we should have-a fought in-a Corneria," said Mario.

*woo woo dream transition*

...On second thought, I'd read that.

-MB

What would happen if a canon character fell through a plothole? I think we'd neuralyze them, but what if it was somebody savvy enough to avoid it? Somebody from the MIB canon (where the Neuralyzer originated), would be nigh- to completely-impossible to wipe (After all, the glasses make them immune to it). And the Doctor would probably not fall for the "look at the pretty lights" gambit. In fact, he'd probably be smart enough to avoid it altogether. And Rincewind would just run away from anybody. Let's (for the sake of argument) assume it was the Doctor. Assuming he did get away (which he probably would) what if he found a DORKS? He'd definitely get it to work with a little jiggery-pokery and a nudge with the sonic screwdriver, and...

Well, let's just say you'd have the makings of the next Crisis. If if was one of the earlier Doctors, things would be really bad. Remember the Five Doctors? If you pick one Doctor out of the timestream, all the successive ones will follow. The whole Who canon would be without it's keystone, and the whole universe would begin to collapse-- spurting itself out into Headquarters like air rushing out of a hole in a balloon. And the Who canon has 42 years of shows, TV-movies, radio plays, and EU novels behind it, plus 42 years of Fanfiction, clinging remora-like to it's very plot. Especially crossover fanfiction. As Who went down, the tiny links of crossovers would begin to pull at every series it's crossed with with the full weight of those 42 years. Star Trek might be the first to go down with it-- it's canon is still weakened from the retcons of the most recent movie, and their long-running and compatible sci-fi natures mean that there's huge masses of crossovers between them. And if Trek goes down... well, it's even bigger than Who, with all its novelizations, spin-offs, and enourmous fanbase. In fact, the combined weight of both Trek and Who might be enough to bring down Harry Potter, weakened as it is by the continuing pileup of fanfic! And as you know, Potter is linked to everything. Once it goes, it would be like a chain of dominos falling, or a nuclear chain reaction in reverse. The whole Multiverse could collapse, draining every Word World and funneling it straight into Headquarters!

And remember Real-World fanfiction, where fictional characters wind up in World One (or vice-versa?) Those strings would be tugged as well, and even World One would be sucked through the plothole and squirted out into Headquarters.

That would be bad. Please tell me there are safeguards to stop this?

I don't think opinions can totally *make* someone a bad person or not. It's how you treat others whose opinions differ that counts.

Well, that makes me happy!

(I don't like the Inheritance Cycle. I read the first two books and got so angry at all the geological fail I couldn't bring myself to read the other two. But I equally don't like the idea that the PPC could decide that any given canon 'doesn't count' and doesn't get our protection. So yay Inheritance Cycle PPC :D )